Why is discouragement easier than motivation?
deseraeloves
Posts: 18 Member
I always get about a month in, and my motivation starts dwindelling down to nothing. I don't have a lot of motivation coming from anyone in my life, mi husband isn't too.concerned about fitness or health...which I think is mainly just because he doesn't fare to change himself so he almost gets annoyed with my change in eating habits.
So question, what do you do to keep yourself motivated?
I am trying to take advantage of MFP and all it has to offer, but I don't know how people get friends so fast lol so if you're someone in the encouraging business, friend me
and I'll do the same for you 
So question, what do you do to keep yourself motivated?
I am trying to take advantage of MFP and all it has to offer, but I don't know how people get friends so fast lol so if you're someone in the encouraging business, friend me
and I'll do the same for you 0
Replies
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You've got to sit back and really figure out why you want to do this for yourself..and not things like, "to be a size 2." When you have a solid reason to do this, it makes it easier to stick to. Don't worry about your husband, it took mine about 8 months to realize how serious I was about this, then he followed suit. Good luck!0
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First feel free to add me as a friend, second keeping yourself motivated is never easy. I keep in my mind the end game, what will I look like? How will I feel? I have been fat for over half my life and I want to be thinner and healthier. I like you usually got in about a month maybe lost 20 lbs then went back to old habits. This time I stuck to it and have seen huge changes and they are now my driving force. What will change next? You can do it and please add me for an inspiring friend.0
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Because doing nothing is always easier than doing something. That is until one day you reach a point where you stop to say "I would have reached my goal by now if only I had kept to it."0
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adding friends on MFP was the best thing I've ever done. It gives me something to look forward to and a reason to log on since it's not really a conversation I'm having with anyone in real life.
feel free to add me! :flowerforyou:0 -
As others have said, you have to look inward. This isn't about other people, unless you make it so. It's about YOU, what's best for you, and the promises you make to yourself. I'm motivated for a bunch of reasons... friends and family with health problems related to obesity, desire to be healthy for my family, etc. But mostly I got PISSED at myself for not taking care of myself, and I made myself a promise to myself to lose 40 pounds and keep it off forever.
It is VERY important to honor the promises you make to yourself. If you can't trust your own word, that's a BIG problem. So I'm committed and nothing is going to shake that commitment - I don't care what happens.
BTW, I was the unmotivated spouse for a long time. My wife has gotten in great shape while I gained an extra 20 pounds on top of the extra 20 pounds I already had. All I can say is something finally clicked. I didn't want to be the fat husband. It sucks, but sometimes you've got to be the leader. Show your husband the way. If he is unmotivated, think "I'll show him!" and have a great day. Get in unbelievably awesome shape and see what he says then! 0 -
Discouragement is easier because it lets you do nothing instead of trying to do the hard things.
My friends and family just kind of ignore what's going on. I have a few coworkers who are somewhat discouraging - I ignore them. Everyone else kind of doesn't talk about it at all. So I have to be my own motivation. If I said (out loud) at the end of a work day that 'I'm TOO TIRED to work out (after sitting in my cubicle for 8 hours), my toe kind of hurts and I have a paper cut on my thumb and I'VE WORKED SO HARD :sad: " I would guarantee that most people in my life, including my husband, would be very supportive of me just laying on the couch for 3 hours before bed stuffing my face. I deserve it, right? NO - because I'm worth better health than that lifestyle will give me! What I deserve is to go the gym and actively work toward fitness! I deserve good, healthy food in the proper quantities for my body. When I start feeling like I can't/don't want to do it, I have to get in my own face. As in, "SUCK IT UP PRINCESS AND GET YOUR BUTT TO THE GYM". (I can get really hyper during my motivational speeches to myself :bigsmile: )
I believe I deserve to be as fit, healthy, and look as good as I possibly can. But that's something only I can do for me. Even if no one else around me is eating or living the way I am, I can choose to join them or not.0 -
My better half doesn't show much support either. Whenever I ask him to actively support me, e.g. by joining me walking or running, he shrinks back or laughs nervously.
Would love to have some MFP friends for extra motivation, too.0 -
You've got to sit back and really figure out why you want to do this for yourself..and not things like, "to be a size 2." When you have a solid reason to do this, it makes it easier to stick to.
This is what I have struggled with yet again... I start out with a great plan (I am a planner) but then my follow through leaves something to be desired. I have decided that I have to make a choice to be committed rather merely interested in health for myself. Like any other "addiction" (food is for me in many ways), I have to choose to change for myself and not be concerned about eating healthy, exercising or looking better for someone else. (personal experience - :smokin: )0 -
Make a goal poster with pics of what your life will look like when u r at goal weight;) Also set rewards non food ones when u hit for example 10lbs down a mani pedi, 20lbs down a new dress,30lbs down a On Plan dinner out with the hubby,40lbs down go hiking up your favorite mountain or trail,50lbs down a new outfit....etc etc) Make it fun fun fun!! So u will wake up every morning looking forward to your lifestyle change;) And I'll friend ya!!;) My kids r a huge motivator for me;) Having them say mommy why can't u play with us,why r u always so tired,mommy u used to be as big as am elephant but u lost weight but u still have more to lose!! R my motivations LOL my boys r 5,3,2;)0
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It's just easier to fall back into old habits I guess. I yo-yoed for years. Then I got a serious wake up call and that was all the motivation I needed.
Doctor told me to go to a different site for diet. I was there for about a year. Then from another "defector" I found MFP. So much better. I lost the rest of the weight in two years.
Happy to say have now been in maintenece for a year. Lost another couple of pounds. I was scared that the old habits would take over. With staying here and Learning new habits.....Moderation and portion control being the biggest two, I really believe I have it undercontrol.
As long as I stay in my calorie range I stay the same weight. MFPer for Life here!
I'm not around everyday but if you want to add me go for it. I live in Grand Rapids MI, I see you live in MI also. PM me if you want.0 -
Motovation and willpower are skills, not inherent qualities. The more you practice motivating yourself and exercising willpower, the better you will become at them. The more you practice giving up and giving in, the better you will be at that. Your relative prowess at either set of skills is both a reflection of the choices you have made in the past, and of who you are as a person. Fortunately, you get to choose which path to follow starting right now, for every moment here on out, and the effort you expend here will not just apply to fitness and diet, but to every facet of your life, and the personal development you undergo will not just improve your body, but also your mind and spirit. Keep that in mind when things seem difficult, and making the right choices will be infinitely easier! You can do it!0
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I keep pics of others who are around my size or bigger so everytime I feel discouaged I look at them and remember why I am doing this and also I get on here and read the success stories and the most important thing I always remeber if I give up now I will be so pissed at myself a year later and know that I could of been skinny if I just would of kept going! I also post on my blog everyday and look at the the tips and motivation tabs! one thing I say to myself is I WONT GIVE UP!!!!!! MY BLOG IS shelleylynn276.blogspot.com mabe it can help motivate u! Just remember U CAN DO THIS0
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I think about myself, which is something I don't normally do. I have to remind myself that this change is for me and nobody else. I want to stay alive longer for my daughter and I want to finish out my Air Force career and I want to be healthy. When I think of those things I want to do for me, I find the motivation I need to keep pushing. I also have been looking for different workouts so I don't get bored and I go to different websites for healthy but yummy food. Be selfish for a change and remember this is about you and you are important enough for the changes you want to make for yourself. Good luck!!0
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i'm sorry you don't want it bad enough.
this is my go to for motivation: http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/08/31/is-it-really-worth-it/ make sure to watch the video at the end.0 -
Motivation is difficult to come by. Sometimes I get discouraged too, but I know that I don't want to go back to how I was before. And I always feel better if I work out. It all comes down to our inner voice and what it is saying to us. If it is constantly spewing negativity, you won't succeed in your journey so you have to consciously change it to say more positive things. Some people have never had a negative voice, so they don't understand. Like the guy that replied that you don't want it bad enough. That's simply NOT true!! And if you are also lacking external motivation, it becomes that much more difficult. But you CAN overcome the negativity and discouragement and reach your goals. And because it takes extra effort, the rewards will far surpass your expectations!! :flowerforyou:0
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Life is hard. Improving yourself (and not just in fitness and/or health) is hard.
As a species we have the terrible habit of seeking the easy way. You have to make a decision, you need to define your goals and decide what you are willing to do to reach them (and make your goals measurable & realistic, vague goals are meaningless....eg I want to run a 5K in 6months vs I want to become a runner)
Newton's First Law: An object at rest stays at rest and an object in motion stays in motion.....get moving!:happy:0 -
Feel free to add me. My better half is someone that can eat whatever and not gain weight. So there is not a lot of understanding there. My friends on MFP have been a great motivator for me to keep going and make the changes I need to make. 0
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i'm sorry you don't want it bad enough.
this is my go to for motivation: http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/08/31/is-it-really-worth-it/ make sure to watch the video at the end.
You've got it all wrong dude, cause I want it. And just because I get discouraged doesnt mean on going to stop, it just means its going to be harder to get up and do it- but ill do it anyways.
And I meant this question in many ways.
One was, mainly. Why is it so much easier for other people to try and discourage rather than motivate or encourage?0 -
i'm sorry you don't want it bad enough.
this is my go to for motivation: http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/08/31/is-it-really-worth-it/ make sure to watch the video at the end.
You've got it all wrong dude, cause I want it. And just because I get discouraged doesnt mean on going to stop, it just means its going to be harder to get up and do it- but ill do it anyways.
And I meant this question in many ways.
One was, mainly. Why is it so much easier for other people to try and discourage rather than motivate or encourage?
THIS MESSAGE BOARD IS FOR QUESTIONS JUST LIKE YOURS JUST BECUASE U OR I FEEL LIKE GIVING UP AT TIMES IS VERY NATURAL AND VERY HEALTHY BECAUSE IF WE DID NOT FEEL THIS WAY AT TIMES AND WERE ALWAYS MOTIVATED AND READY TO GO THEN WE WOULD BE PERFECT AND LAST TIME I CHECKED I AM NOT PERFECT!!! ATLEAST U R POSTING ON THIS MESSAGE BOARD INSTEAD OF GIVING UP, THIS MESSAGE BOARD IS VERY IMPORTANT TO VENT AND TO GET OTHERS TO GET US BACK ON TRACK SO U GO GIRL ANYTIME U FEEL THIS WAY VENT IT HERE SO THAT WE SUPPORTERS CAN HELP BECAUSE I KNOW IT HELPS ME AND KEEPS ME IN CHECK!! JUST AN FYI I NEVER GOT THE FEELING THAT U WERE GIVING UP ONLY THAT U WERE NEEDING TO VENT AND GET TO SUPPORT!!!! ALSO YOUR TITLE IS SUCH A GOOD QUESTION AND I HOPE U FOUND THE ANSWERS U WERE LOOKING FOR 0 -
Recognize your patterns. This has been the single most important factor in my motivation. Your body has crazy, weird patterns. Well, at least mine does. I can go a month without any loss. Then (I weight myself every day) I'll lose weigh every day for several days. Then, I gain a pound or two. I used to quit at that stage. I'd throw my hands up in the air and say that I'd eaten the right amount of calories and still had gained. In reality, the fast loss wasn't as high as I thought it was. I have these little blips every month or so where my body goes backward. If I stay on track and within my calories, sure enough I'll eventually start losing again. I have some other weird patterns as well. Understand, if the scale isn't showing it today, it might just show it next week. You can't give up. When I look back on the last six months I've had decent progress. It isn't the 1.9 pounds a week I was hoping for. But, it is still decent progress.0
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If you're really fed up just change your settings to maintenance for a few days so you won't put back on any weight you have lost, and then you still have a bit more freedom. But set some goals, like you will do this for only 3 days then get back on the wagon, book yourself a Zumba class or something for a few days ahead. If you make healthy recipes that you and your famly genuinely enjoy eating all the time, you won't have to keep changing your eating patterns or feel like your on a diet. Think long term, make little changes and once that change no longer feels like an effort, make another healthy change.
Set a target such as 'If I lose this week I'll buy myself a new dress' as this is a good way to stay motivated.0 -
Because doing nothing is always easier than doing something. That is until one day you reach a point where you stop to say "I would have reached my goal by now if only I had kept to it."
That's the thing. If you are sticking with it only as long as that initial burst of resolve right out of the gate, you won't make it very far. Achy muscles, unrealistic expectation, and life seem to get in the way and it's easier to just throw in the towel.
You have to resolve that for better or worse, you are going to see this thing through until the end.
Heart disease runs in my family; some days when I am not feeling like going to the gym or I want that extra-large burger and fries, I imagine my heart (which already has the cards stacked against it) trying to beat through all of that cholesterol and fat.
If it were easy, the world would be full of healthy, fit people.0 -
i'm sorry you don't want it bad enough.
this is my go to for motivation: http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/08/31/is-it-really-worth-it/ make sure to watch the video at the end.
You've got it all wrong dude, cause I want it. And just because I get discouraged doesnt mean on going to stop, it just means its going to be harder to get up and do it- but ill do it anyways.
And I meant this question in many ways.
One was, mainly. Why is it so much easier for other people to try and discourage rather than motivate or encourage?
THIS MESSAGE BOARD IS FOR QUESTIONS JUST LIKE YOURS JUST BECUASE U OR I FEEL LIKE GIVING UP AT TIMES IS VERY NATURAL AND VERY HEALTHY BECAUSE IF WE DID NOT FEEL THIS WAY AT TIMES AND WERE ALWAYS MOTIVATED AND READY TO GO THEN WE WOULD BE PERFECT AND LAST TIME I CHECKED I AM NOT PERFECT!!! ATLEAST U R POSTING ON THIS MESSAGE BOARD INSTEAD OF GIVING UP, THIS MESSAGE BOARD IS VERY IMPORTANT TO VENT AND TO GET OTHERS TO GET US BACK ON TRACK SO U GO GIRL ANYTIME U FEEL THIS WAY VENT IT HERE SO THAT WE SUPPORTERS CAN HELP BECAUSE I KNOW IT HELPS ME AND KEEPS ME IN CHECK!! JUST AN FYI I NEVER GOT THE FEELING THAT U WERE GIVING UP ONLY THAT U WERE NEEDING TO VENT AND GET TO SUPPORT!!!! ALSO YOUR TITLE IS SUCH A GOOD QUESTION AND I HOPE U FOUND THE ANSWERS U WERE LOOKING FOR
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I think you maybe missed his point? In the end, motivation has to come from within. No one can do that for you. By the same token, no one can take it from you.i'm sorry you don't want it bad enough.
this is my go to for motivation: http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/08/31/is-it-really-worth-it/ make sure to watch the video at the end.
You've got it all wrong dude, cause I want it. And just because I get discouraged doesnt mean on going to stop, it just means its going to be harder to get up and do it- but ill do it anyways.
And I meant this question in many ways.
One was, mainly. Why is it so much easier for other people to try and discourage rather than motivate or encourage?0 -
I think you maybe missed his point? In the end, motivation has to come from within. No one can do that for you. By the same token, no one can take it from you.i'm sorry you don't want it bad enough.
this is my go to for motivation: http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/08/31/is-it-really-worth-it/ make sure to watch the video at the end.
You've got it all wrong dude, cause I want it. And just because I get discouraged doesnt mean on going to stop, it just means its going to be harder to get up and do it- but ill do it anyways.
And I meant this question in many ways.
One was, mainly. Why is it so much easier for other people to try and discourage rather than motivate or encourage?
thank you!!0 -
Because it's not their job. Ideally everybody would. But that's not the way the world works. Do this for YOU. Nobody else. I work hard to look good. I watch what I eat so I'm healthy.i'm sorry you don't want it bad enough.
this is my go to for motivation: http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/08/31/is-it-really-worth-it/ make sure to watch the video at the end.
You've got it all wrong dude, cause I want it. And just because I get discouraged doesnt mean on going to stop, it just means its going to be harder to get up and do it- but ill do it anyways.
And I meant this question in many ways.
One was, mainly. Why is it so much easier for other people to try and discourage rather than motivate or encourage?
And I don't do this for anybody else, nor do I need their support or encouragement. Though, I am a fan of compliments.0 -
add me please because I always have the same exact problem!!0
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i'm sorry you don't want it bad enough.
this is my go to for motivation: http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/08/31/is-it-really-worth-it/ make sure to watch the video at the end.
You've got it all wrong dude, cause I want it. And just because I get discouraged doesnt mean on going to stop, it just means its going to be harder to get up and do it- but ill do it anyways.
And I meant this question in many ways.
One was, mainly. Why is it so much easier for other people to try and discourage rather than motivate or encourage?
THIS MESSAGE BOARD IS FOR QUESTIONS JUST LIKE YOURS JUST BECUASE U OR I FEEL LIKE GIVING UP AT TIMES IS VERY NATURAL AND VERY HEALTHY BECAUSE IF WE DID NOT FEEL THIS WAY AT TIMES AND WERE ALWAYS MOTIVATED AND READY TO GO THEN WE WOULD BE PERFECT AND LAST TIME I CHECKED I AM NOT PERFECT!!! ATLEAST U R POSTING ON THIS MESSAGE BOARD INSTEAD OF GIVING UP, THIS MESSAGE BOARD IS VERY IMPORTANT TO VENT AND TO GET OTHERS TO GET US BACK ON TRACK SO U GO GIRL ANYTIME U FEEL THIS WAY VENT IT HERE SO THAT WE SUPPORTERS CAN HELP BECAUSE I KNOW IT HELPS ME AND KEEPS ME IN CHECK!! JUST AN FYI I NEVER GOT THE FEELING THAT U WERE GIVING UP ONLY THAT U WERE NEEDING TO VENT AND GET TO SUPPORT!!!! ALSO YOUR TITLE IS SUCH A GOOD QUESTION AND I HOPE U FOUND THE ANSWERS U WERE LOOKING FOR
LOL0 -
I think you maybe missed his point? In the end, motivation has to come from within. No one can do that for you. By the same token, no one can take it from you.i'm sorry you don't want it bad enough.
this is my go to for motivation: http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/08/31/is-it-really-worth-it/ make sure to watch the video at the end.
You've got it all wrong dude, cause I want it. And just because I get discouraged doesnt mean on going to stop, it just means its going to be harder to get up and do it- but ill do it anyways.
And I meant this question in many ways.
One was, mainly. Why is it so much easier for other people to try and discourage rather than motivate or encourage?
AMEN on no one can take it from you 0 -
To answer the title question: weakness is always easier than strength.0
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