What's up with these pro anorexic people here?

AudreyinNC
AudreyinNC Posts: 59
in Motivation and Support
I've recently received several friend requests, and when I go to look at their profile, they are PRO anorexic, practically bragging about it. Giving tips on how to get under 100 lbs. Their friends list if full of other people with the same thing going on. I seriously just crossed one person and under why I want to get healthy it said "I've always loved skeletons." Another said "I want to feel my bones on your bones". And that's not even the worst of it. And no these are not trolls, they have long posting histories, and actual information about all their health issues etc.

This is not a site for, and I am not a supporter of anorexia or the starve-yourself-until-you-die movement. These people need to take this ****net somewhere else. This site is for people that actually want to be HEALTHY. Anorexia and purging and self-mutilation is NOT healthy. These people need shrinks, not MFP.
Now I know me questioning it wont do away with it, I was just seriously caught off guard!
I'm just going to put a disclaimer on mine. "If you send me a request and end up being a pro-anorexia, pro ED, or otherwise self-mutilation person you could be verbally assaulted to the worst degree which will trigger you to gain 10 lbs." Seriously? Will someone tell me WTH?


****STAFF NOTE: Post has been locked due to violations of guideline #06****
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/welcome/guidelines

Replies

  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
    Obviously, this is a weight loss site, so it attracts those people. It's not hard to figure out. Just don't support it. I don't. I don't accept friend requests from them, and if I find out one of my friends is one of them, I immediately unfriend them. They need to get help and I will nto support them in any way.
  • Helloitsdan
    Helloitsdan Posts: 5,564 Member
    Just ignore them and move on.
    I've deleted several people over the past 2 years because of this.
  • foodfathought
    foodfathought Posts: 21 Member
    Just ignore them and move on.
    I've deleted several people over the past 2 years because of this.

    Best way really. And yeah, if somebody wants to harm themselves, then that's their prerogative.
  • heatherloveslifting
    heatherloveslifting Posts: 1,428 Member
    I was wondering about this too. I don't know if they are ill, uninformed, or just seeking attention/approval. Whatever the reason it makes me sad and uneasy.
  • cama78
    cama78 Posts: 9 Member
    I have no idea. I weighed that much and anorexic girls wanted to know my secrets...it was called an abusive husband who didn't like me to eat much-and Grave's Disease. Doctors thought I was anorexic. I am now suffering body image issues after not even being anorexic as I like to eat. I don't understand people who want to starve on purpose to look like a skeleton. I hope they get the right kind of help.
  • sportybrewerschick
    sportybrewerschick Posts: 170 Member
    I believe they could just be looking for attention. They OBVIOUSLY don't need to lose weight. Most likely, gain weight.
  • meerkat70
    meerkat70 Posts: 4,605 Member
    They're struggling with their own demons. Helloitsdan's position is, I think, the best one to take here. You can't do much else, in this context.
  • melaniecheeks
    melaniecheeks Posts: 6,349 Member
    Sadly yes, there are quite a few on here. But at least they are being open about it, rather than hiding away in their rooms.

    Not sure how much we as other users of the site can do to help. :ohwell:
  • gingerveg
    gingerveg Posts: 748 Member
    I believe they could just be looking for attention. They OBVIOUSLY don't need to lose weight. Most likely, gain weight.

    This is not how I see it. They are sick. Anorexia nervosa is a psychological disorder. Maybe you don't understand it. Honestly, I don't blame you for that because I also don't understand it. Frankly I don't have the expertise to actually offer any concrete help to people with EDs but if they are on my friends list (and I know I have one) I simply offer them supportive words. I've never had an ED so they aren't triggering me or bothering me in any way. As someone above said, they have their own demons---we all have them. The unique thing with weight issues (excessively over or under) is that these demons manifest in the physical body so they are on the outside for everyone to see (and also that makes it easier to cast judgement on folks with physical body issues). I really don't think it is fair to say they just want attention. The same could be said for any group. If they bother you delete them from your list. If you think you can help, offer support. Otherwise this is diverse place (we have vegans, paleo diets, no carb folks, people who drink their own pee for crikey's sake) there are definitely going to be people you don't understand and/or connect with just by the sheer numbers here.
  • nexangelus
    nexangelus Posts: 2,080 Member
    I have come across not only pro ED folks (mostly young women aged averagely 19.5 years old), but also those in denial...I can only try and help as I have been there and done that...glad to be healthy in body and mind now...
  • daughterofthesea
    daughterofthesea Posts: 82 Member
    I agree with you completely about pro-anorexia and pro-ED people, but I don't agree with people who self mutilate. I used to cut myself with scissors and razor blades and I'm still a healthy person. Yes I have issues, but I am seeing someone for those issues and I don't think people should be my friend based upon what I do to my body.
  • lizapettit
    lizapettit Posts: 166 Member
    Yeah I recently had to delete some young women who were starving themselves day after day after day. One in particular, if she ate an actual meal she would go on a rant on how gross she was for eating a healthy meal. I unfriended and went about my business. I felt bad, but at the same time, I can't be supportive and say "way to go!"
  • purrywinkle
    purrywinkle Posts: 19
    ...could you be any more insensitive and narrow-minded? If you have that big of a problem with it you should really just ignore it instead of posting a topic spreading hate.
  • MichelleLaree13
    MichelleLaree13 Posts: 865 Member
    If someone mentions something questionable or looks extra thin, I ask. People tell me they are pro-ana or bella when I ask and I explain I dont feel it is healthy for me to surround myself with people that practice that stuff.
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
    There's little you can say or do to help them. Until they end up in a hospital bed, they will carry on. You can wish them well and move on, and that's about it.
  • littlemeowmaid
    littlemeowmaid Posts: 114 Member
    I've only come across it a couple of times, but when I have I really thought that mfp admin should do something about it.
  • MichelleLaree13
    MichelleLaree13 Posts: 865 Member
    ...could you be any more insensitive and narrow-minded? If you have that big of a problem with it you should really just ignore it instead of posting a topic spreading hate.

    It is unhealthy plain and simple.
  • thelovelyLIZ
    thelovelyLIZ Posts: 1,227 Member
    There are lots of people across the internet that are "pro-ana." Most are very sick and need counseling and medical attention. I find it both sad and disgusting. Sad, because they truly feel that they would be happy and worthy of love if they were skinny. Disgusting, because why would you encourage someone else to develop a mental illness that is ruining your life? Most don't even see it as an illness though, just a "lifestyle."
  • purrywinkle
    purrywinkle Posts: 19
    ...could you be any more insensitive and narrow-minded? If you have that big of a problem with it you should really just ignore it instead of posting a topic spreading hate.

    It is unhealthy plain and simple.
    Good point, except I never said it wasn't. But "verbally assaulting" someone because they have a DISORDER is wrong. Just as previous posts said, if you don't want them as friends, don't add them. There is ZERO reason to harass someone. (I'm referring to the original post, not yours.)
  • schondell
    schondell Posts: 556 Member
    I believe they could just be looking for attention. They OBVIOUSLY don't need to lose weight. Most likely, gain weight.

    This is not how I see it. They are sick. Anorexia nervosa is a psychological disorder. Maybe you don't understand it. Honestly, I don't blame you for that because I also don't understand it. Frankly I don't have the expertise to actually offer any concrete help to people with EDs but if they are on my friends list (and I know I have one) I simply offer them supportive words. I've never had an ED so they aren't triggering me or bothering me in any way. As someone above said, they have their own demons---we all have them. The unique thing with weight issues (excessively over or under) is that these demons manifest in the physical body so they are on the outside for everyone to see (and also that makes it easier to cast judgement on folks with physical body issues). I really don't think it is fair to say they just want attention. The same could be said for any group. If they bother you delete them from your list. If you think you can help, offer support. Otherwise this is diverse place (we have vegans, paleo diets, no carb folks, people who drink their own pee for crikey's sake) there are definitely going to be people you don't understand and/or connect with just by the sheer numbers here.

    A lot of the girls do not ACTUALLY have anorexia nervosa and just want to lose weight quickly, knowing very well it is unhealthy.
  • elijhasmomma
    elijhasmomma Posts: 270 Member
    As someone studying addictions (my major is indeed addiction studies) and ED and Anorexia are addictions, it isn't so easy to say why someone does or doesn't do something. Eating disorders are process addictions. They vary from chemical addictions like alchoholism and drugs, yet they have just a strong a hold on someone as does something that messes with your body and mind chemically. There are past issues, current issues, future worries, that drive a person to do what they choose to. Phsycologically they have an impairment in the way the view the world and themselves. It is HARDLY of any use to post something like this bashing them. You're clearly not out to help any of these girls even if they aren't showing signs of wanting to help themselves, so why let it bother you? I'm sure you know you are NOT the only person to have witnessed this, but coming on the forums to post about it, is not going to get you the support or answers you're looking for. At most, it will get your topic locked and/or deleted.

    Unless you are perfect in every way, I don't think it is any of your business what they are doing. If you don't like it, reject the add and MOVE ON. But just remember, everytime you point a finger at someone else, you have THREE more pointing back at YOU. Don't knock someone else for their choices when you have most likely not been a Saint all your life. We all make mistakes, some people just need professional help in order to change their ways.:indifferent:
  • littlemeowmaid
    littlemeowmaid Posts: 114 Member
    ...could you be any more insensitive and narrow-minded? If you have that big of a problem with it you should really just ignore it instead of posting a topic spreading hate.

    It doesn't seem like she's being insensitive, just that she's against the "pro-ana" movement, it's a deasese people shouldn't be pro any deasese, If there was a "pro-depression" movement you'd be against that wouldn't you? It's supporting and encouraging their problem not the solution, when it needs to be the other way around.
    Having this website as a tool is detrimental to someone with that sort of problem and the mfp admin should recognise that and do something about it.
  • Emma_Problema
    Emma_Problema Posts: 422 Member
    I don't think you quite understand why there are pro-ana sites up or why a community on here makes sense. People have mental illness and seek out others who are able to understand them. It's not necessarily about encouraging them, it's about support. The idea of cutting off anorexics is not only stigmatizing but also wrong in that they will most likely continue to act out the same unhealthy behaviors without a support network. You should really read some of the articles about pro-ana that popped up around the time when tumblr decided to delete thinspo blogs. It's now all become fitspo instead, which in my opinion as an ex-exercise bulimic is not much better. I see lots of people on here that do unhealthy levels of exercise here to be "fit". Unhealthy eating and exercise behaviors are not limited to anorexics.

    Let's be kind a encourage people to eat healthfully instead of stigmatizing them with a fairly hateful board post. You really can't do anything but be there for them and show them that there are better ways to live your life. "Not supporting them" does nothing. Most women who are trapped in eating disorders are looking for a way out and looking to someone to tell them their worth does not depend on being rail thin. Just doing that is in itself very helpful.

    - A young woman who has struggled with disordered eating for the past 5 years (EDNOS)
  • Emma_Problema
    Emma_Problema Posts: 422 Member
    As someone studying addictions (my major is indeed addiction studies) and ED and Anorexia are addictions, it isn't so easy to say why someone does or doesn't do something. Eating disorders are process addictions. They vary from chemical addictions like alchoholism and drugs, yet they have just a strong a hold on someone as does something that messes with your body and mind chemically. There are past issues, current issues, future worries, that drive a person to do what they choose to. Phsycologically they have an impairment in the way the view the world and themselves. It is HARDLY of any use to post something like this bashing them. You're clearly not out to help any of these girls even if they aren't showing signs of wanting to help themselves, so why let it bother you? I'm sure you know you are NOT the only person to have witnessed this, but coming on the forums to post about it, is not going to get you the support or answers you're looking for. At most, it will get your topic locked and/or deleted.

    Unless you are perfect in every way, I don't think it is any of your business what they are doing. If you don't like it, reject the add and MOVE ON. But just remember, everytime you point a finger at someone else, you have THREE more pointing back at YOU. Don't knock someone else for their choices when you have most likely not been a Saint all your life. We all make mistakes, some people just need professional help in order to change their ways.:indifferent:

    This. This this this this this! Thank you!
  • samlankford
    samlankford Posts: 334
    its a disease like any other... sad, but they have to want to change for any type of help will be accepted.. Being healthy is key, exercise, eat right, get enough sleep (if your able) and be happy.. everything else will fall into place...:wink:
  • MichelleLaree13
    MichelleLaree13 Posts: 865 Member
    I believe they could just be looking for attention. They OBVIOUSLY don't need to lose weight. Most likely, gain weight.

    This is not how I see it. They are sick. Anorexia nervosa is a psychological disorder. Maybe you don't understand it. Honestly, I don't blame you for that because I also don't understand it. Frankly I don't have the expertise to actually offer any concrete help to people with EDs but if they are on my friends list (and I know I have one) I simply offer them supportive words. I've never had an ED so they aren't triggering me or bothering me in any way. As someone above said, they have their own demons---we all have them. The unique thing with weight issues (excessively over or under) is that these demons manifest in the physical body so they are on the outside for everyone to see (and also that makes it easier to cast judgement on folks with physical body issues). I really don't think it is fair to say they just want attention. The same could be said for any group. If they bother you delete them from your list. If you think you can help, offer support. Otherwise this is diverse place (we have vegans, paleo diets, no carb folks, people who drink their own pee for crikey's sake) there are definitely going to be people you don't understand and/or connect with just by the sheer numbers here.

    A lot of the girls do not ACTUALLY have anorexia nervosa and just want to lose weight quickly, knowing very well it is unhealthy.

    I ask what people are into and just find people that have similar interests concerning weight loss. I am not opposed to eating under 1200 calories. I dont mind being friends with someone that is recovering (We are all here for poor eating habits). I dont like having people encouraging me to eat 200 calories a day or 2500 calories a day, so I ask people what they are into and explain why I didnt friend them.
    PS if the poster is serious about people drinking their own pee, I definately will not friend them :sick:
  • Scott
    Scott Posts: 204 MFP Staff
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