Too Late to Lose Weight
virgogrl73
Posts: 14
I am 39, morbidly obese and single. I've tried every diet plan, do well for about 6 weeks and quit. I now feel, what's the point. Even if I lost all the weight I'm going to have extra skin and will never be what I aspire to be. I feel like I've missed out on all the things I wanted in life. By the time I lose the weight and possibly get married, I'll be too old for kids. I just want to be "hot" for once and feel I'm just too old. I know it's shallow but I've been fat forever and have never experienced life as I should.
Of course I need to lose the weight to be healthy but what's the point if I'm going to be miserable? Sorry, I guess I'm having a pity party this morning and facing yet another holiday season fat and alone is hard to bear. I need some motivation to start changing my lifestyle now instead of waiting until Jan 2nd!
Of course I need to lose the weight to be healthy but what's the point if I'm going to be miserable? Sorry, I guess I'm having a pity party this morning and facing yet another holiday season fat and alone is hard to bear. I need some motivation to start changing my lifestyle now instead of waiting until Jan 2nd!
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Replies
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According to my doctor I am morbidly Obese..to get to my ideal weight I would need to lose over 100lbs..to be in the healthy range at least 90lbs..
You have to look at this like it isn't a diet but a lifestyle change.. I don't deny myself food.. I eat whatever I want in moderation. I currently down about 20lbs.. I started the local gym, and do Zumba at home with the DVDs. I track all calories on this website. I am actually motivated to do this.
I know I have a long way to go and I am gonna do it.
As for extra skin..you may or may not have it. I was told that was all genetics, lift weights to tone up and build that muscle that can help with that. As for being too old for kids, I know some who have had them in their 40s. In fact, I was one and know someone who had 2 in her 40s.0 -
DON'T GIVE UP!
My mom didn't start trying to lose until she was in her 40s. She was ~325 (5'5") and lost over 100lbs, mostly through diet. My mom has had 3 back surgery's and can not effectively exercise.
Skin shouldn't be your worry, it won't be as bad as you think, especially if you drink lots of water. Water will keep your skin elastic and so the skin will retacts some. Not all no, but my mom's doctor tracked the issues with the saggy skin, she was able to get a tummy tuck covered by insurance because of the health problems that can be caused by the skin.
If you want more inspiration: https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=uKaDTUm9jHE
Also feel free to add me as a friend, please don't give up0 -
As I have heard over and over on here, think of it as a lifestyle change. Don't try to do everything at once, baby steps! Try just getting in all your vegetables for the day for a few weeks, or add in a little bit of exercise, or drink water instead of pop or juice. Also, if you lose slowly, you're probably less likely to have as much extra skin (as it would have more time to shrink back, though that depends on a lot of things).
While losing the weight won't help with all the problems ever, the lifestyle changes (healthy diet, exercise) will make you feel better overall, and you'll probably feel good knowing that you managed to lose the weight, even if all these other things feel terrible. Pride in one's accomplishments can be a wonderful thing like that.
Good luck!!0 -
:flowerforyou: It's never too late!!! I lost 70 pds and I am still considered Obese, but I'm ok with that bc I know I am still a work in progress.
My sister died at 32 and she was morbidly obese. PLEASE!!!!! do it for your health and for your family!
Good Luck and god bless0 -
I am 39, morbidly obese and single. I've tried every diet plan, do well for about 6 weeks and quit. I now feel, what's the point. Even if I lost all the weight I'm going to have extra skin and will never be what I aspire to be. I feel like I've missed out on all the things I wanted in life. By the time I lose the weight and possibly get married, I'll be too old for kids. I just want to be "hot" for once and feel I'm just too old. I know it's shallow but I've been fat forever and have never experienced life as I should.
Of course I need to lose the weight to be healthy but what's the point if I'm going to be miserable? Sorry, I guess I'm having a pity party this morning and facing yet another holiday season fat and alone is hard to bear. I need some motivation to start changing my lifestyle now instead of waiting until Jan 2nd!
Don't EVER give up!!0 -
Even if you have extra skin, I can guarantee that you will be happier with yourself after you lose the weight than you are right now.
Don't let the negative thoughts outweigh your reasons to do better and get healthy. Otherwise you are just doing what you've always done and it wont work and you will prob quit like you always do.
You are still young! You still have time! And you CAN do this!0 -
As I have heard over and over on here, think of it as a lifestyle change. Don't try to do everything at once, baby steps! Try just getting in all your vegetables for the day for a few weeks, or add in a little bit of exercise, or drink water instead of pop or juice. Also, if you lose slowly, you're probably less likely to have as much extra skin (as it would have more time to shrink back, though that depends on a lot of things).
While losing the weight won't help with all the problems ever, the lifestyle changes (healthy diet, exercise) will make you feel better overall, and you'll probably feel good knowing that you managed to lose the weight, even if all these other things feel terrible. Pride in one's accomplishments can be a wonderful thing like that.
Good luck!!
Great advice!!!!0 -
try to lose fat on junk food. that helps to some people who ate it for many years. Just limit caloric intake
don't eat "tons of wholesome, fresh, organic vegetables" (because its allegedly will make you less hungry.
i ate 2.5kg of vegetables during dinner, I WAS STILL HUNGRY, and i had a heartburn.
Buy yourself a protein powder. Drink like 6 cups throughout the day. The rest time eat mcdonalds, A&W.
Obviously your diets didnt help you, so try that one above.
And to you celery lovers, IT DOESNT HELP HIM, like he said. Fibre/vegetables dont make you full. Protein does. and not a lean chicken. A good tasty whey protein shake.0 -
Don't diet, make a lifestyle change. It's never too late to put your health first.0
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40 is the new 20, you are definitely NOT too old. More people now are having kids into their 40s now, with advances in health care it's not as dangerous as it once was. And also, there's always the option to adopt, which is what I plan to do, because there are just so many kids out there who need families.
Don't waste another day. Don't sit around and feel sorry for yourself and think how much you hate where you are right now, just take a step back, look at your life and your situation and decide to make the change, today, RIGHT NOW.
All of us here are in the same boat, even though we are all at different points, different starting weights, different goals and life circumstances, the connecting factor is we are all here to make a change for the better... this is the best support system I've ever seen, take advantage of it!0 -
As I am rapidly careening toward my 41st birthday next month, formerly morbidly obese in the not so distant past, never married and no children, I can say that I have felt your despair at many points in my life. But it's never too late to live a good and happy life and you never know what's waiting for you on the other side of this challenge unless you actually make the effort. So try again. Commit to changing the things you can change in your life that make you unhappy. This time next year you can be feeling great about yourself. There is a lot of life left to be lived...0
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Had you ever considered honing your dating pool to men who have the same health and fitness goals? I'd be willing to bet there is a Mr. Right out there whose story is nearly identical to your own.0
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You can be miserable and obese, or miserable and skinny. Pick your miserable.
At the end, you may find that being healthy makes you a lot less miserable than you thought it would. I was afraid of having saggy skin when I started. I was afraid of completely losing my breasts when I started. Because I was afraid of failing, my brain focused on those two issues and I really thought that I would never be happy without a perfectly tight, perfectly busty figure.
However, now that it's all over, and I do have a bit of extra skin, and my boobs have become just-barely-A cups, I find I'm totally okay with it. The skin is slowly fixing itself, and I'm willing to give it the time it needs. Having tiny boobs has actually been a new and novel experience for me. I can go braless if I want! I can wear shirts I never would have considered before. I can run without my back hurting. It's worth it.
Don't let your brain obsessing over something you can't control, like your skin, keep you from changing what you can control. Get healthy, then decide if the end results are worth it or not.0 -
Read back what you have just written.... If that isnt motivation to change I don't know what is!0
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try to lose fat on junk food. that helps to some people who ate it for many years. Just limit caloric intake
don't eat "tons of wholesome, fresh, organic vegetables" (because its allegedly will make you less hungry.
i ate 2.5kg of vegetables during dinner, I WAS STILL HUNGRY, and i had a heartburn.
Buy yourself a protein powder. Drink like 6 cups throughout the day. The rest time eat mcdonalds, A&W.
Obviously your diets didnt help you, so try that one above.
And to you celery lovers, IT DOESNT HELP HIM, like he said. Fibre/vegetables dont make you full. Protein does. and not a lean chicken. A good tasty whey protein shake.
omg..if this was true I would be in heaven...lol.0 -
Really, even if you were in fabulous fit shape (and I'm not), we all still age and eventually pass away, so I have had to face that, just like anyone. I am 10+ older than you, and had some serious health problems, still do, but I decided that I want to make the rest of my life much better-feeling, NOT to try to get some partner or look 'sexy' to someone, but because it feels better to me to be lighter and more toned--it feels like the younger version of me again, which I enjoy--it feels not hopeless, which is so important. The best things I have been doing for myself include standing a lot even in front of the computer which is up on a box on my desk, and dancing around a little, nothing wild, and walking, which all helps to keep the basic muscles a little more toned than simply being on a couch or sitting in front of the computer--and not eating chemical junk food (although I do eat organic chocolate and smart puffs, so I am not saying I will never eat 'junk', I just avoid nasty chemicals in my junk food!), and drinking a lot of clean water makes me feel healthier and keeps systems healthy, so my skin looks better and the bathroom situation goes along well etc.--that stuff all adds to the quality of my life. I used to not understand that having some muscle tone makes such a huge difference in how I feel and look, and I thought that 'muscle toning' was just sort of a vanity thing, but I think that if you can get a little toned, even to the point of just *feeling* your muscles, it'll help so much with you feeling better about your self and your situation. If you do this in a way that is slow and healthy, preferably with the supervision of a doctor or other good reliable help, it really makes the extra skin have much more of a chance to keep pace with you, so it looks much less like something extra. Good luck in being healthy for yourself--life can be hard, really, but there are things we can do that can make it feel better.0
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Girl at 39 you're just getting started! Quit the pity party - pull yourself up and GO FOR IT!
First things first, you gotta go all in, commit and just do it!
You might feel better about yourself, have different aura around people, with your new aura and self assurance attract different like minded people and who knows if you might meet the love of your life in 2 days, 2 mos or 2 years...
It all starts with you and your commitment - how bad do you want this - give er a try in anyway you start. Moving and eating right is not a flipped switch kinda thing - like the others its a lifestyle. Start small... maybe start with drinking 6-8 glasses of water each day. Maybe walk for 5 minutes... keep challenging yourself.
Check out some of the great success stories - friend some of them - they're commitment and dedication is inspiring to me.0 -
Don't give up! There's so much to gain from this experience. Do it for yourself.. your health! This is the time to be selfish.. treat your body good with good food and some light exercise. Make sure to get your water in too, that will help with the possible extra skin. Good luck, but don't give up on yourself.. you are counting on you! 0
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I think you will feel a thousand times better, if you just start doing it! Really, I can't tell you how good exercise and healthy food are for the soul! And as a bonus...I get carded and told I'm hot on a regular basis lately- and I'm 41. Hugs!0
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Please do not put living life on hold until you lose weight or get healthier. Tackle the "low hanging fruit" of your frustrations/unhappiness/unhealthiness: physical, mental, emotional as you can, but live the rest of your life starting right now. I have seen too many people put their life on hold until they are the perfect size, the perfect person, the perfect weight. When I was diagnosed with cancer a few years ago, I made the decision to spend my time living the remainder of my life not dying it. Under my belief the system, I try to remember (cliche as it is) that this my life, it isn't a dress rehearsal.0
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I am 54, and the best is yet to be. What you will gain on the journey to getting healthy and maintaining it is something we all experience differently at the right time for the right reason. You will find so many people who look past how you look to see the real you shining through as you conquer each ounce as gone.
You posted - so I know you will come on this journey with us on MFP.0 -
Well what are you waiting for? You can start NOW and not wait for Jan 2. I don't know why people feel that they have to start on a Monday, or after the holidays or after a birthday. Start NOW. Why be fat and miserable or skinny and miserable? You don't know if you'll be skinny and miserable because you've never really given it a try. You already know you're fat and miserable. To me it sounds like you've hit rock bottom so the only way to go is up! Don't give up on yourself when you've never really given yourself a chance? :flowerforyou:0
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Well what are you waiting for? You can start NOW and not wait for Jan 2. I don't know why people feel that they have to start on a Monday, or after the holidays or after a birthday. Start NOW. Why be fat and miserable or skinny and miserable? You don't know if you'll be skinny and miserable because you've never really given it a try. You already know you're fat and miserable. To me it sounds like you've hit rock bottom so the only way to go is up! Don't give up on yourself when you've never really given yourself a chance? :flowerforyou:
Agree about starting now! You could change quite a bit by New Year!0 -
You CAN do it. You're not too old, or too fat. I'm 46 and have lost 70 lbs. I'm still obese, but in 10 lbs., I'll have an "overweight" BMI. I'm a work in progress.
Other posters are right--this is a lifestyle change. You can't think of anything as a diet anymore, because the word "diet" comes with a beginning and ending mentality. There should be no end to eating and exercising for health. Try not to think of it as losing weight either--instead, think of it as "getting healthy."
Successful weight loss and maintenance is less about what you eat and how you exercise than it is about what's going on in your head. So many overweight people have an unhealthy relationship with food. I'm one of them, and I'll be working on my emotional eating habits for the rest of my life. So far, I'm winning.
Have you considered going to therapy? A good therapist is a wonderful gift you can give yourself. I used to think therapy was for people weaker than me. Like--it was fine for other people but if I broke down and went into therapy, it would be a sign of personal failure. Great for others, but I wasn't good enough for it, or bad enough for it, or something. That was broken thinking. I now realize that YES, I am STRONG enough for it and a better person for it. I'm definitely healthier for it.
Something else to think about and maybe research is weight loss surgery. There are many on these boards who would shoot down that idea but there are many others who have had it and found success for the first time ever. It's not for everyone but if you think you've done everything else to no avail, maybe it could be for you.
You CAN do this. It's not too late. Get started today with baby steps. Drink one more glass of water. One more serving of vegetables. More lean protein, fewer carbs. One more flight of stairs. One step at a time. Just get started. {{{hugs}}}0 -
I just turned 41 and can relate to the marriage and kids thing. I gave myself my 40th year to cry it all out. It's tough. But, that does not mean that a man won't love you or marry you because you are overweight. What counts is how you see yourself.
If you want to friend me, feel free. :-)0 -
I have lost some chunks of weight a few times in my life. The last time (88 pounds) I kept off for 12 years, decided to have a 3rd child in my 40's and gained it back + 40 more from stopping smoking. I lost 135 pound in my late 20's too. Before I followed "diets" to the letter, deprived myself and stuck to it. Now at 54 years old I am making a life style change, eating right, cooking great tasting, healthy, foods. I just joined the YMCA and in a welness coaching program and enjoying it. Ps: I hate exercise but this is fun.
EVERY time I lost weight I loved my life 1000X's more. When I was overweight I was always unhappy! I am 1/2 way thru this journey and now it's a mission. Join weight watchers it is a wonderful supportive program. Make up your mind and be true to the mission and forge ahead! I promise you will be so happy as you move forward and when you reach your goal!
I wan't happy or taking care of myself overweight. I would avoid parties and things my family or husband would want to do. I think most overweight people feel the same, never confident. But as you feel better about your weight loss you will start to build self esteem, gain confidence and improve your health! For me it's a snowball effect and now that it's beginning noticeable I am encouraged more. Weight Watcher meeting are very encouraging and it helps keep you accountable to your self.
Good luck!
ETA: friend me I would love to be your friend and help motivate as we go through this journey.0 -
try to lose fat on junk food. that helps to some people who ate it for many years. Just limit caloric intake
don't eat "tons of wholesome, fresh, organic vegetables" (because its allegedly will make you less hungry.
i ate 2.5kg of vegetables during dinner, I WAS STILL HUNGRY, and i had a heartburn.
Buy yourself a protein powder. Drink like 6 cups throughout the day. The rest time eat mcdonalds, A&W.
Obviously your diets didnt help you, so try that one above.
And to you celery lovers, IT DOESNT HELP HIM, like he said. Fibre/vegetables dont make you full. Protein does. and not a lean chicken. A good tasty whey protein shake.
omg..if this was true I would be in heaven...lol.
isn't that the truth!0 -
just by changing my snacks I have lost 23 LBS in less then 3 months. Take it one day at a time you'll get there.0
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I'm not sure what your diet looks like or what you drink but I do know that the most simple of changes can really kickstart your weight loss. Begin drinking only water, if you hate the taste get some packets to add to it for a great tasting healthy drink. Crystal Light is awesome. They have different kinds that help with energy and metabolism. Instead of eating junk food find some fruits you love. Remove any temptations from your house and resist buying them when grocery shopping. The only one who can change you is you. Your not old and you have nothing to lose but unhappiness. Just by changing your eating habits and working out 3-5 times a week you will lose. Even just walking will help. You CAN do it, it is NEVER TOO LATE. It may take a while but stick with it. As for the skin, would you rather have a little saggy skin or fat? A guy who is worth it will not judge you by that anyway. As for wanting to be hot, everyone is beautiful. Everyone. You can either make a change and die happy or don't make a change and die sad. In the end it's up to you but I hope you find the motivation and determination you need to change yourself. Feel free to add me if you want. I'm always available to talk and help motivate. 0
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I am 39, morbidly obese and single. I've tried every diet plan, do well for about 6 weeks and quit. I now feel, what's the point. Even if I lost all the weight I'm going to have extra skin and will never be what I aspire to be. I feel like I've missed out on all the things I wanted in life. By the time I lose the weight and possibly get married, I'll be too old for kids. I just want to be "hot" for once and feel I'm just too old. I know it's shallow but I've been fat forever and have never experienced life as I should.
Of course I need to lose the weight to be healthy but what's the point if I'm going to be miserable? Sorry, I guess I'm having a pity party this morning and facing yet another holiday season fat and alone is hard to bear. I need some motivation to start changing my lifestyle now instead of waiting until Jan 2nd!
It's never too late. My mother, who has been obese her whole married life, started losing weight at age 48. At 50, she'd lost over 100 pounds. She was over 260 pounds, and at 5 foot 4 inches, was very large. She is now at 155 pounds, and much healthier. She was facing diabetes in her later years (as my grandfather had it) and had sleep apnea.
Don't ever say "never". And now is a perfect time to start!0
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