How do you deal with negative family?

Congratulations on your journey and your success ! It sounds as if your family is jealous of your accomplishment! You did the right thing. Just walk away and surround yourself with positive people.

My family is the same way, although my mom would never (hopefully) tell people how much I weigh. They always tell me to eat more, that I've become too thin. Honestly, the only advice I have for you is to ignore it. You're doing this for you, nobody else.

ugh I am sorry that happened to you.I had a similar expereince today where I texted my oolder sister saying I lost 30 pounds. Her response was I did not know you gained 30 pounds beforl je that. She is the skinny one in the family and she has always said comments like that that feel like she wants me to feel ugly and fat. Because she lives across the country I will just now ignore her.

I am also 5 4 and weigh 152 now. I thinnk you should be proud of yourself. Let them talk but you know you are being healthy!

I don't think it's really jealousy. I've gotten the same thing before. Worried looks, realtives poking around to find out if I'm still trying to lose more weight and saying I shouldn't.

It takes time for people to adjust and get used to you being a smaller you. Just like it takes time for us to accept that we are smaller.

While I still saw myself as the fat girl I was a few years ago, they saw me as near anorexic. With time You will learn to accept that you aren't fat and they will get used to your new frame and realize that, while you're thin and fit - you're not anorexic.

I would tell them how you feel about the situation. If that doesn't work than I would ignore the comments and enjoy the fact that you have succeded at a goal you set for yourself. Try not to let them get you down when because when you decided to lose weight you did it for you and not for them. Good luck and good job on your success!!

I went home a couple of weeks ago and my mom said that I looked so skinny! She wanted me to go shopping with her to buy a whole bunch of new clothes for myself and I kept trying to tell her that I had about 20 more pounds to lose. *sigh* I only see her once a year at most so it was probably a drastic change for her.

Also it takes time for people to get use to seeing you this way. your family is use to seeing you a certain way, when you lose weight to them it looks like you are sick. just give them time, they will get use to it. also jealousy plays a part too.

Sometimes its jealousy, sometimes its genuine concern, whatever... Whenever family or friends go on the offensive, I turn right it around. When my own mother made noises about my losing "too much,*" I asked her point blank how her own weight loss efforts were going, how her cardiac evaluation went, how well her diabetes management is progressing, etc. When my best friend thought I should "stop now," I simply asked about how she was faring at the gym, what activities she was planning for the week-end, and how she was doing on the boyfriend front. My sister made some remark about my weight and I bluntly asked her how much *she* weighed and what was she doing about it. Changing the focus of the subject and forcing them to go on the defensive, they quickly lose interest in my business. In some cases, I think it's themselves they really wanted to talk about all along!

*I have ben 120-125 lbs since I was 18 years old. In the past 5 years , I gained 75 lbs. I'm just getting back to where I am normally and yet, from listening to my family and some of my friends, you would think that the Heavy Me was the norm!

I would tell them to mind their own, but then again I'm like that. I'm not going to walk away. Face them and tell them your very proud of what you have accomplished even if they aren't.

And I don't know about losing 5 more lbs, just try lifting weights to tone your body up. I'm thinking once you start lifting they will think you've gained some weight back and took their advice, but you'll know different. Best way to tone up is to lift, so get with it.

It's interesting how there is a definite change in attitudes with people. I used to be the "skinny" one in the family, now I'm the heavy one. My family, for the most part, seems to be supportive.

Very few of my friends know that I'm on this path to health. In the far past, with other friends, when I slimmed down, I seemed to be outcast. It was like I was supposed to be the comforting, fat friend that nobody had to compete with, you know? This time I'm keeping this journey to myself and you guys, of course. I find that the less I talk about it publicly, the less people really notice. It's weird lol.

Feel free to add me. It's tough when you feel unsupported by the people who are most important in your life. xo

I don't talk about it either. My husband knows...and one friend. That's it.

It is an unfortunate fact of life that people feel free and easy to announce their opinions on women's bodies in a way they wouldn't consider doing with others.

It is also a sad fact of life that when you go back to your family of origin, it is really hard to have everyone remain the well-adjusted, capable, polite, successful adults they are and not fall into the weird and often-dysfunctional roles they were used to playing with each other so long (or not so long) ago.

So, with that jaded but true view of reality, what do you do with the unfortunate result, which is what you experienced?

Like all stupid opinions, you have to make sure they are, in fact, stupid and groundless. So look at what was said about whether you are too skinny, whether you weigh too little, whether you do not eat enough, whether you exercise too much. And take each of those and examine them in the light of day. Are they true? Could you do anything about it if they were true? Is it helping you to think about/look at the issue with the perspective you are being offered? Does this opinion free you to pursue your goals or does it insult your soul?

Answer those questions about the opinions you are offered. Do it regularly and it will become natural and automatic. Then, when someone freely and easily offers you an untrue, uneducated opinion that insults your soul you can just as freely and easily offer them the opportunity to **** off.

The tone and language used in your invitation can be determined by the tone and language and level of insult in the original opinion. You will never be judged by me based on the strength of your invitation in response to stupid, douchey, ill-informed opinions on subjects that are none of the other person's business.

Good luck.

Make this your computer background or replace your mirror with it or send it to your family:

ugh I am sorry that happened to you.I had a similar expereince today where I texted my oolder sister saying I lost 30 pounds. Her response was I did not know you gained 30 pounds beforl je that. She is the skinny one in the family and she has always said comments like that that feel like she wants me to feel ugly and fat. Because she lives across the country I will just now ignore her.

I am also 5 4 and weigh 152 now. I thinnk you should be proud of yourself. Let them talk but you know you are being healthy!

My sister is the same way with me. She told me that she was proud of me but that if she had to listen to me talk about losing weight over Thanksgiving, she would get up and leave. I let it bother me for a while, and then when the day came, I put on a cute outfit and walked in with my head held high and was soooo proud of myself!

Be proud of yourself! I agree that they are just jealous.

Her response was I did not know you gained 30 pounds

Without the context, and not knowing your situation, this sounds like a statement of acceptance of you just the way you are. She says in this, essentially, that she didn't realize that you had 30 pounds to lose. Not that you are too anything. Sometimes we get stuck in ruts in life, including ruts in how we perceive others' actions and motives.