Its my birthday and Im angry at myself

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psychicmedium26
psychicmedium26 Posts: 48
in Motivation and Support
Why do I always think I have it under control and before long one excuse turns into another and Im eating junk all over again. I woke up today with that glimmer of determination to get my habits back under control and back on track but Im out of excitement Im out of motivation, the honeymoon phase is over and its sinking in and becoming clear that a) I have an addiction to eating too much and b) this is going to be for life! My getting my eating under control is not a weekly thing or a few months, its a life time choice and its scary.

When I think about the work it will take to get where I need to be I get stressed out, when I picture counting calories every day for the rest of my life I shudder at the thought. But when I think about how Im only going to keep getting fatter, I dont like how I feel or look and the food impacts that immensely well then I get back to the fact that I need to do this for my health, my happiness, my life.

I dont know what the point of this post is.I know when it boils down to it I have to WANT to do this for myself and I have to be the one to make the effort to do so. I just feel like I never make it past the first few weeks before I plummet off the wagon.

Any advice? Been there done thats? I am sitting on my bed typing this feeling fat and fed up. I turned 28 today, another year fat and tired. I dont want to do it again.

Replies

  • CynthiaElise
    CynthiaElise Posts: 262 Member
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    Simply you must believe that you deserve this and then you must DO IT! It's important to start small and work your way into a full routine - it makes things less stressful & overwhelming at the beginning. Your body will adjust after those first few weeks and you'll find yourself wanting to make more and more healthier decisions. You need to start changing your attitude and stop telling yourself you'll fail after 2 weeks... You can do this! Built up your support group on MFP because that's huge! :) Good luck!
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
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    Sounds like you might be trying to change too much, too soon. Try to make healthier changes gradually (fitting in a 30 minute walk 3x a week, cutting out sodas, making more meals at home, bringing your lunch to work/school, learning go-to low calorie foods that are easy for you to make and track) and then go from there. Like you said, these are life changes. It takes some time to learn what will work for you and your lifestyle, but it's an experiment, and the care you take in yourself will pay off down the road.

    Happy birthday! :flowerforyou:
  • clydethecat
    clydethecat Posts: 1,094 Member
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    i'm where you're at. i moved recently and it was a very stressful move, so i stopped logging and eventually stopped exercising. now i want to climb back on the wagon and its turning out to be harder than i thought it would be. i'm logging, and exercising more, but even this weekend i let my self off the hook for logging since it was thanksgiving.

    i've been buying cookies, and pie and other crap food saying, oh its for my husband. of course i end up eating half of it out of boredom, anxiety and just sheer lack of self control.

    it seems like every day i go off diet. then i feel bad, then i start the negative self talk, then i'm depressed. then i eat more. the cycle has to be broken somewhere.

    i dont think there's any magic to it. there are ways to beat the negative self talk. i need to stop feeling bad about what i've done, and just chalk it up to a bad day, and look forward to tomorrow. maybe you're the same. the first step to stopping the cycle is to admit there is one. you'll get on track, you have to want it, and you have to make a decision that this is what you are going to do.

    happy birthday, a birthday is a great day to start over.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    Well you could look at it like this you have to watch what you eat, measure and log now when you are still young and healthy or you can feel like giving up and get old and sick then youll have more things to worry about then just counting calories. So make the choice do you want to enter 30 feeling sick, fat and tired or do you want to enter 30 feeling healthy? The only real garauntees you have in life (besides taxes) are you will either get older or you will die. Make your choice how you want to get old.

    Sorry to be so tough but this was what I had to tell myself when I was wallowing and watching another decade (my 30's) pass by with nothing to show.

    Happy Birthday it's you life make the choice and stick by it.

    Have to add something. Remember this struggle this addiction is a daily thing. You will mess up. It's going to happen you are human, but keep moving foward and try to keep on the path.
  • maeld51
    maeld51 Posts: 3,415 Member
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    Don't wait untill you're 51
  • LaceyMorley
    LaceyMorley Posts: 45
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    For me I am either losing or gaining. I have not figured out how to maintain for the long haul. I hope to, though. So for ME - that is what I tell myself for motivation. "Do you want to gain today or lose today?" Most days it works. You have to find what motivates you. Everyone is motivated by something. It could be health, it could be vanity... but as long as it gets you healthy in the end your reasoning and motivation behind it do not matter.
  • LaceyMorley
    LaceyMorley Posts: 45
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    Happy birthday!
  • Zylahe
    Zylahe Posts: 772 Member
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    This is what i tell myself.
    - i just need to be good today, i'll worry about tomorroe tomorrow.
    - i was good yesterday, so i should just do that again.
    - i don't need to resist cake all the time, just when i'm in the supermarket ( leave purse at home when you go to work and you can't buy junk food)
    - i'll eat that cake hen i'm skinny ( then ican njoy it and not look like a fat pig)
    - 300 calories for a doughnut! I would rather have the 3 pieces of fruit/ 1 kg of strawberries / as many carrots as i can handle/ 1 nice chocolate a day for the whole week.


    You will get there just break it down into small steps.
    Also preplanning meals really helps, and you will soon find that you know which meals are better for you than others, ( eg store bought pizza = lots of cals not satifying, home made cauliflower crust pizza with an inch high topping = enough food for lunch the next day for less cals, Steamed fish and veggies = lots of protein so i'll be full and feel clean inside)


    One last point if you fall off the wagon don't worry, its just another opportunity to get back up and ride that wagon into the sunset. It happens to nearly all of us, and it happens more than once. It's part of the journey... ( if there are no bad points, how do you know to appreciate the good ones?)


    Try to find out why it happened and what you can do to stop it happening again.

    A few weeks ago i fell off real bad, i hurt myself ( old injury) and felt sorry for myself so pigged out on chocolate. Now i'm being very strict with how much i can do each day, and i've got ibuprofen gel if i need and an ice pack in the freezer waiting.
    ( and no chocolate in the house)
    Fingers crossed whn i next fall off, i will have lasted a few more weeks, i wont pig out as bad, and i will get back on sooner.
  • ParkerH47
    ParkerH47 Posts: 463 Member
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    First and foremost: Happy Birthday!!! :):)

    Now on to the tough stuff...

    Dont you dare give up. You are young, and have all the potential in the world, but YOU have to do it. Think of it this way... yes you feel like **** on your 28th birthday, do you want to feel the same on every birthday for the rest of your life? NO of course not. So get your **** together!

    You have to forgive yourself for every past discretion, dwelling on your failures certainly doesn't burn calories:)

    Your not doing yourself any favors. You have the ability to change, you just don't believe in yourself. Hell, we believe in you, but we can't do **** about the number on your scale.

    Seriously, if you put the work in you will see the results!!

    I think that you could benefit from easing into a healthy lifestyle though. Give yourself small and attainable goals for each week. the first week try cutting out pop, second week cut out chips and cookies, and just keep on going like that until one day you wake up and your eating healthy! its okay to have a bad day and a bad week and a bad month. Its not about how many bad days you have its about bouncing back from those days.

    This is doable - look at the success stories board. We can help, but you have to be your own cheerleader. Healthy eating is not a diet its a learning curve! And you can't expect perfection, its a journey, but you can get there!

    Good luck! I hope I wasn't too harsh, I was just trying to light a fire under ya!

    I try to be supportive, so if you would like to add me or ask me any questions please feel free to message me!
  • rmquintela
    rmquintela Posts: 2
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    Thats the story of my life. But you know what? Tomorrow is another day, just start again and keep trying. Don't give up, you will feel worse if you give up.
    I know that I cannot have any junk food at all at home, so get rid of all the junk food - throw it out and replace with fruits and vegetables. After a while, you will give in to the fruits and veggies and after a couple of weeks your body will crave that instead of junk. Try it. Hang in there.
  • psychicmedium26
    psychicmedium26 Posts: 48
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    Thank you all for your support! I really appreciate the comments.
  • fasttaurussho
    fasttaurussho Posts: 2
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    Thats the story of my life. But you know what? Tomorrow is another day, just start again and keep trying. Don't give up, you will feel worse if you give up.
    I know that I cannot have any junk food at all at home, so get rid of all the junk food - throw it out and replace with fruits and vegetables. After a while, you will give in to the fruits and veggies and after a couple of weeks your body will crave that instead of junk. Try it. Hang in there.

    Sounds like great advice to me! Get rid of the junk food (throw it out) and DON"T buy it again. It also helps if you can find a healthy replacement for those junk food cravings. For instance I used to LOVE ice cream, but I replaced it with apple sauce. So when I had a craving for ice cream, I went and got a bowl of apple sauce.
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
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    I've been trying to frame the whole "counting calories for the rest of my life" thing like this:

    I'm counting calories NOW because I'm completely ignorant on how to healthily feed myself. I don't know what I'm putting into my body, I don't know how to listen to my body when I'm full, I don't know how to avoid the unhealthy foods and I don't always know what the healthy foods ARE.

    But that won't be forever. Eventually I will learn, and eventually it will become a habit, and eventually I won't have to log every single bite every single day and wonder about every single calorie in every single food choice.

    Someday I will know how to do all this and it won't be work. It will just be the way I live. That helps me a lot when it comes to peering out into the future.
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
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    Sounds like you might be trying to change too much, too soon. Try to make healthier changes gradually (fitting in a 30 minute walk 3x a week, cutting out sodas, making more meals at home, bringing your lunch to work/school, learning go-to low calorie foods that are easy for you to make and track) and then go from there. Like you said, these are life changes. It takes some time to learn what will work for you and your lifestyle, but it's an experiment, and the care you take in yourself will pay off down the road.

    Happy birthday! :flowerforyou:

    Definitely this! So many of us go into dieting thinking we have to make these drastic changes in our diets and exercise like world class athletes and we're excited and determined and then a month or two later we're exhausted and just want a break from all the work.

    Don't think if it as all black or white. Say you try low carb but after a few months you're really missing your pasta and can't stand the low carb alternatives. So you re-evaluate and maybe just have pasta once per week and commit to keeping it to one normal portion instead of the 2-3 portions you used to eat. You're still making an improvement without completely depriving yourself and setting yourself up for failure. Think of this as a long term learning experience. Keep trying new things and don't give up just because something doesn't work or you have a bad weekend.

    Plus, don't feel like you have to lose the weight RIGHT NOW. Who cares if it takes a couple years? You'll still be making healthy changes and improvements.

    Happy Birthday!

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