How do you deal with negative family?

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Replies

  • Deipneus
    Deipneus Posts: 1,854 Member
    "For the record, I am 5’4”, small boned, 123 lbs"

    My wife has ALWAYS been 5'4" 110 pounds so she understands. I was surprised that I got the same crap when I saw relatives I hadn't seen in a while. I just flatly pointed out the BMI charts that say that at 5'11" 165 pounds, I'm a healthy weight.

    As others have pointed out, jealousy is one possible explanation. Here is another: Obesity and overweight is such a common problem now, people like us who are normal weights actually DO appear skinny to them. Let them adjust, you and I are fine.
  • em3120
    em3120 Posts: 154 Member
    Obesity and overweight is such a common problem now, people like us who are normal weights actually DO appear skinny to them. Let them adjust, you and I are fine.

    I think you are completely right. I am at a very normal healthy weight, yet my family thinks I am too thin (and they are almost all overweight).
  • Phaedra2014
    Phaedra2014 Posts: 1,254 Member
    Ugggh..family. So, on Thanksgiving I had to deal with my family talking about me! After dinner, the guys went to watch football and the girls were just sitting together talking. The conversation turned to be about how skinny I am, how I need to eat more, etc. Then my Mom just flat out told everyone how much I weigh! Of course they didn’t believe her and went on about how I must be at least 10+ lbs less. My sister piped in and said I never eat and I exercise for hours every day, which is completely not true! I eat 1400 calories and exercise for 1 hr every day! Now I know I am the smallest by probably close to 20 lbs, but this was ridiculous! I normally take the whole “You look so skinny now” as a compliment, but after this I just feel self-conscious. For the record, I am 5’4”, small boned, 123 lbs, but my BF% is 26% as of 3 months ago! I would love to lose about 5 more pounds and get more toned and less jiggly. When I started this weight loss journey, I couldn’t do a pushup, run without stopping every 50 ft, and I feel so much healthier now! I guess the whole point of this is: how do you deal with family or friends that do stuff like this? I didn’t really know what to say, so I just excused myself and left!

    Keep in mind that the American standard for "thin" and "skinny" is out of whack because we're so used to seeing very large human beings all around us.

    Get to what your healthy BMI needs to be and as long as you're eating, working out and generally attentive to what you feed yourself, I'd say disengage from these types of discussions when you are around these family members. Go take a short walk instead!
  • Cyndi1
    Cyndi1 Posts: 484 Member
    you stay confident... people really do get jealous of other peoples will to live healthy and be fit... dress sexy be healthy and confident... I dont mine others talk why cause I dont need their validation.... I need me to do it for me. you are doing great.
  • lynn14
    lynn14 Posts: 116
    Congrats on getting healthier! Wow....that is tough! Jealous is a terrible thing.......surround yourself with ones that lift you and put a smile on your face! You can't change family....but just plow through it.
  • MyM0wM0w
    MyM0wM0w Posts: 2,008 Member
    I guess the whole point of this is: how do you deal with family or friends that do stuff like this?

    I moved 3500 miles away and haven't seen any of them in 6 years.......

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