Desperate and in need of some MAJOR motivation...
Sweeetdesiderata
Posts: 20
Hi all 
I'm not new to the site, I had signed up on here a while back, but never became active. So, I am a newbie, regardless of what my profile says, lol.
Anyway, a little about me. I am 36 and hitting a low point in my life. I have struggled all my life with weight, as I was not blessed with a good metabolism. Right now I am at my highest weight I have ever been. I stepped on the scale the other day and was almost in tears when I saw that number pop up. 322 lbs. It didnt surprise me, but it still shocked me.
I have been in a real funk the last couple days. I have gotten to the point where it is physically difficult to live my everyday life. Working is miserable (I'm a cashier). Carrying this weight for so long feels as if it has all but ruined my knees. They hurt me on a daily basis. If they dont hurt, then they feel as if they are swollen water balloons. My lower back has also started to hurt so bad that its hard to do even the most simple things such as showering. Obviously, I can't NOT do these things. Hello, showers and jobs are kind of important! But I am in tears after. The other day I almost started crying right there at the cash register in front of customers.
In the past, before getting to this point, I would see a severely obese person that could hardly walk, using a scooter or walker etc. and think to myself that "If they weren't so damn lazy, they wouldn't be that way!". Well, I believe in karma and feel that it has certainly come back to bite me in the *kitten*! As I've gotten older, I have learned to not judge people knowing that everyone has a story. Now I have my own story.
I do NOT want to be this person anymore! Next year, I plan to enter into the Vet Tech program at my local college, and I NEED to become a healthier version of myself by then. Cause if I don't, there is no way that I will succeed in school. I want to graduate. Hell... I want to be able to walk, shower, work and do basic everyday things without a struggle. I'm hoping this is my "rock bottom". The only step below this is disabled and bed ridden. I don't want to go there.
Wow, I guess that was WAY more than just a little about me! I apologize for making this so long, lol. If you are still reading, bless you. I'm hoping to meet new awesome people that will motivate me and urge me to be better. And, I hope that I can do the same in return.
I'm not new to the site, I had signed up on here a while back, but never became active. So, I am a newbie, regardless of what my profile says, lol.
Anyway, a little about me. I am 36 and hitting a low point in my life. I have struggled all my life with weight, as I was not blessed with a good metabolism. Right now I am at my highest weight I have ever been. I stepped on the scale the other day and was almost in tears when I saw that number pop up. 322 lbs. It didnt surprise me, but it still shocked me.
I have been in a real funk the last couple days. I have gotten to the point where it is physically difficult to live my everyday life. Working is miserable (I'm a cashier). Carrying this weight for so long feels as if it has all but ruined my knees. They hurt me on a daily basis. If they dont hurt, then they feel as if they are swollen water balloons. My lower back has also started to hurt so bad that its hard to do even the most simple things such as showering. Obviously, I can't NOT do these things. Hello, showers and jobs are kind of important! But I am in tears after. The other day I almost started crying right there at the cash register in front of customers.
In the past, before getting to this point, I would see a severely obese person that could hardly walk, using a scooter or walker etc. and think to myself that "If they weren't so damn lazy, they wouldn't be that way!". Well, I believe in karma and feel that it has certainly come back to bite me in the *kitten*! As I've gotten older, I have learned to not judge people knowing that everyone has a story. Now I have my own story.
I do NOT want to be this person anymore! Next year, I plan to enter into the Vet Tech program at my local college, and I NEED to become a healthier version of myself by then. Cause if I don't, there is no way that I will succeed in school. I want to graduate. Hell... I want to be able to walk, shower, work and do basic everyday things without a struggle. I'm hoping this is my "rock bottom". The only step below this is disabled and bed ridden. I don't want to go there.
Wow, I guess that was WAY more than just a little about me! I apologize for making this so long, lol. If you are still reading, bless you. I'm hoping to meet new awesome people that will motivate me and urge me to be better. And, I hope that I can do the same in return.
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Replies
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You an me both need to make changes in our lives for different reasons but the ultimate goal is to be happy an healthy an to live our lives as new people. I would love to help you on this journey friend me if you wish an we can do all this together. I started today an wish to contiue this til I don't need my bp meds anymore. good luck 0
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Yep, I have been down the high BP road as well. Not currently on medication for it, but have been in the past. Dont want to be again, thats for sure.0
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I'm sorry to hear you're in a funk! I'm older than you (a LOT older ) but also have a job that kills my knees and a glacier-slow metabolism. When I finally saw the doctor for my knee pain and was diagnosed with osteoarthritis (no surprise, every female in my family has it) he said, "Ooohhh! We don't expect THAT much degeneration in someone your age." So I do understand the descriptions of pain you used and it sucks! Remember this: Every pound lost is four pounds of pressure removed from your knees. Maybe a good exercise to start with is a stationary bike (if you don't have one, you can usually find them in a thrift store or Craigslist - doesn't have to be new or fancy!) My doctor told me: No lateral movements. No Zumba, no tennis (ha! as if!). Walking, swimming, or biking are the best. Don't underestimate yoga for joint strengthening; there are some great yoga DVD's on amazon.com. Check out "Yoga For Round Bodies" or "Yoga for Large Women." I'd be happy to check in with you and help each other! Take care and don't beat yourself up... it makes me SO SAD that our culture is so appearance based. Let's stop comparing ourselves to celebrities, and care about being healthy. 0
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Thanks! Where I live we have a club house that has a workout room and I have been thinking about going down there and getting on a bike. I figure it will be much easier on me in the beginning. Walking is just way too painful right now (between back and knees), so I have thought that being on a bike might be just be the ticket to get me started.0
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Congrats on getting started! That's always the hardest part!
Swimming is a really good exercise too - no impact at all. If you have easy access to a pool of course...0 -
You've already decided to take charge of your health and that right there is a big hurdle for most people! Try not to get down on yourself, just think how from here things can only get better. Feel free to add me if you'd like, I'd love to help cheer you on 0
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Hi there!
I truly wish you all the best, and in times of desperation we often find strength and courage to do things we never knew we could do! And while I can't understand how you must be feeling, I'm seeing first hand as my mom goes through this with her knees as well!
I think MFP will help you to start slowly, if I were you I wouldn't worry too much about exercise until you drop a few pounds, otherwise you will just aggravate all those aches and pains! But when you are comfortable enough you may want to start some gentle excercises, literally anything is better than nothing!
But for now I would concentrate on food. Make sure you log everything and don't make your calories too low that you feel like your starving otherwise your just asking for trouble!
I'll leave you with three of my very favorite sayings:
"The more weight you want to permanently lose, the more of your lifestyle you have to permanently change"
"Good things DO NOT come to those who wait. Good things come to those who work their *kitten* off and never give up!!"
"Dwelling on past failures, doesn't burn calories!"
Feel free to add me
Good luck with everything, YOU CAN DO IT!!!0 -
Thanks everyone, for all the replies! Looks like I can get lots of motivation here
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Ok I'm an ex 300 pound plus member. I know how crumby it can feel to feel bad about yourself. Actually I was 314 four months ago!
I know what is like to have bad knees too. The metabolism number, well that an change if we start feeding our body the correct food. If you want to make a change and commit to something, then please add me.
I'm currently on my second round of P90X. Don't worry, I'm not asking you to start the program tomorrow. But I have learned a ton about how to change my body though frequent exercise and proper nutrition. If you want results you have to work at it.
MFP is fantastic for accountability and support. I don't think i could have lost 39 pounds in the last 4 months without it.
You can do it!
Hang in there0 -
I have access to a recumbent bike at work and home. 20 to 25 minutes twice a day is where I am now. I started out with 15 minutes the first time, three months ago, and could barely do that. It seems that things come back faster now, but if I'm down for a few days (ie sick), I hurt until I get back on the exercise track. The twice a day routine has helped my pain levels tremendously.
I strongly encourage you to also see your doc. Tell them you are working on the weight and fitness. See if they can help you in anyway.
Read "Thin for Life". I actually had the pleasure of meeting one of the persons that the book is based on. Sorry to give unrequested advice...I just want to help so much!! 0 -
My mom had to have knee surgery, a couple years ago, and we got her a slightly reclined cycling bike right after her surgery, if i remember correctly. Her docs said that cycle and water aerobics would be the best thing for her to be active and not so harsh on the knee-it didn't heal right and she has extra bones in the foot opposite of her knee replacement leg, and they want to do surgery but she produces too much scar tissue so they can't do it because her knee replacement won't heal correctly. (she had been overweight ever since she had us kids in her early twenties, until she had gastric bypass surgery about 13 years ago, she had no cartilage left between her left knee joints and there is hardly any in her right one
I have bad knees, and have since I was a kid, and so I am not looking forward to all that. She is only in her early 50's)
So, with all that being said, def water aerobics if you have availability to a pool. Also, if it is going to help boost your mental health, your thought process of self efficacy and self worth, it is worth it to maybe check into getting a membership somewhere even if it is just for the pool. Sometimes places will offer discounts. IF you are below a certain income, you could receive assistance for it. Heck, who knows, your doc could maybe even prescribe it? IDK if that would actually work-but it would be cool and should be considered part of preventative medicine if it isn't already
And the cycling bike. I remember we got my mom her's around this time of year and gave it to her for Christmas. Found it for really good price at Sears I believe. Around 150$ i think it was. Not bad for a life saver!!
I really hope that you don't get lost in your being upset about your current state. It IS overwhelming, I know. But, you def came to the right place. There are a ton of people on ehre waiting to support you during your journey!!
I hope you are feeling somewhat more optimistic after realizing how much support you will have, even from us strangers on here. We all won't be strangers long!
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I'm new here (as you can tell I have no pic!) and I am in dire need of some friends too! Anyone can add me!0
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Hi all
I'm not new to the site, I had signed up on here a while back, but never became active. So, I am a newbie, regardless of what my profile says, lol.
Anyway, a little about me. I am 36 and hitting a low point in my life. I have struggled all my life with weight, as I was not blessed with a good metabolism. Right now I am at my highest weight I have ever been. I stepped on the scale the other day and was almost in tears when I saw that number pop up. 322 lbs. It didnt surprise me, but it still shocked me.
I have been in a real funk the last couple days. I have gotten to the point where it is physically difficult to live my everyday life. Working is miserable (I'm a cashier). Carrying this weight for so long feels as if it has all but ruined my knees. They hurt me on a daily basis. If they dont hurt, then they feel as if they are swollen water balloons. My lower back has also started to hurt so bad that its hard to do even the most simple things such as showering. Obviously, I can't NOT do these things. Hello, showers and jobs are kind of important! But I am in tears after. The other day I almost started crying right there at the cash register in front of customers.
In the past, before getting to this point, I would see a severely obese person that could hardly walk, using a scooter or walker etc. and think to myself that "If they weren't so damn lazy, they wouldn't be that way!". Well, I believe in karma and feel that it has certainly come back to bite me in the *kitten*! As I've gotten older, I have learned to not judge people knowing that everyone has a story. Now I have my own story.
I do NOT want to be this person anymore! Next year, I plan to enter into the Vet Tech program at my local college, and I NEED to become a healthier version of myself by then. Cause if I don't, there is no way that I will succeed in school. I want to graduate. Hell... I want to be able to walk, shower, work and do basic everyday things without a struggle. I'm hoping this is my "rock bottom". The only step below this is disabled and bed ridden. I don't want to go there.
Wow, I guess that was WAY more than just a little about me! I apologize for making this so long, lol. If you are still reading, bless you. I'm hoping to meet new awesome people that will motivate me and urge me to be better. And, I hope that I can do the same in return.
I started out 9-10 months ago almost 100 pounds overweight. By the time I got 30 minutes done on the treadmill, my back was on fire and I was dripping with sweat. I have only lost 30 lbs, but I have gone down almost 2 clothing sizes! And I don't sweat on the treadmill anymore
If you can afford it, I would suggest finding a chiropractor. My hips are chronically misaligned, and that contributed to my lower back pain.
I know you CAN do this...0 -
You CAN do this! You already have the right frame of mind!0
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Oh my goodness, I felt like you were writing my story. We could be twins, almost! I'm just starting up again today, after two weeks of doing nothing on the site. Part of my lack of motivation was that my lower leg/foot edema was just painful! And I take a fluid pill for High blood pressure....it just wasn't enough, it seems. This is what I have done the past three days, and it has made a huge difference. First, I gave up sodas. Wow, that was hard to do. Diet sodas were my friends for years and years.
Then, in addition to normal water throughout the day, I added in a cup of green tea in the morning, and a cup of lemon water (warm water and lemon juice) at night. I'd been searching online for ways to bring down edema, and I found sites that listed these two ideas. So I figured, "why not?" I tried them, and now, three days later, I just woke up with feet that look like...feet! No more jiggly water balloons on the tops of my feet. Love it! And now that I"m not feeling pain in my legs, it's time to get these legs movin'!
I'm going to start slow since, just like you, my knees have pretty much had it with the weight-carrying. I'm going to use the Leslie Sansone walk-at-home videos. She has a good selection of shorter videos for busy days and longer videos for days when I have more free time. That way, at least I'm doing something each day. Something is better than nothing.
Wishing you the best in your efforts to get the weight off. We can do this! 0 -
Well done for wanting to do something for yourself and make a change. I hope you succeed and can start to enjoy your life again. It's the little things that add up to make you happy, keep positive and focus on those little things.0
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You can do this! We all have our reasons for joining, but you definitely will get a lot of support/motivation here.
Feel free to add me, if you want, for extra support!0 -
Congrats on getting started. You have taken the first step. Feel free to add me as a friend if you would like more people to help keep you motivated.0
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I need some new motivation myself. I had an fairly easy time getting to the 200s its getting small there is giving me trouble. You can do it! You have already taken the first step. 0
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Oh my gosh, thanks for all the support! Im so glad that this site is active with lots of great people. Yay!!0
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You can do this! All you need is the desire to change. Take small steps..healthy changes become healthy habits. Take it real slow , maybe 15 minute walks or water aerobics .. MFP is a great source of support and logging your food each day keeps you accountable! Feel free to add me if you need support! I'm on every day!0
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Don't give up. I have been unmotivated before and know the feeling. Just start making a few steps at a time. Maybe make yourself go to the gym and have a small workout. Figure out what a good amount of food for you to eat and try doing it for one day. If you find it isn't that hard for one day, maybe you will go on to the next day. You will be surprised how fast you get results. Keep logging
on every day, that will keep you accountable. Also, check out the success stories under community. There are inspiring stories of
people just like you and a lot of times there are before and after photos. You can do it! Good luck!0 -
I added you!0
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Don't give up. You CAN do it! I started in March of this year at 338 pounds, and I am currently at 230. I still have a way to go, but I feel like a new person. I also had a lot of knee pain, but it has gotten sooo much better. Very rarely do I even have a twinge from one of my knees now. I think that is partially because of the weight loss, and partially because I am more active and have better leg muscles to support my knees.
It is very overwhelming at first, when you have so much to lose. You feel like it is so much you will never get there. But just set small goals, and keep going. The couple of pounds here and there do add up, and it will be so worth it.0 -
Hi, my name is Sue, NEVER give up hope.......I am 61 and was 25 stone (14 lbs to the stone) I lost 9 stone and over three years have gained 4stone back on...............this is taking its toll on my health...knee problem, arthritis, lower back pain and like you hurts to shower and everyday tasks I need to do, your story feels so familiar. I started my new diet on the 19th and using this app which I find awsome I have lost 11 lbs and feeling so much happier, this is a lovely way of connecting to people with the same problem as myself..I class myself as a compulsive overeater which is an addiction but a day a time I am trying to get through it. I am swimming now and this is a brilliant way to burn calories and speed your metabolism so consider that as it does not hurt any joints and theraputic, hope to hear back from you sometime. Good look Sue0
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Hoping you just keep trying each day, one day at a time! Change will happen as you change what you eat. I encourage you to eat the perimeter of the grocery store: fresh vegetables, fresh fruits, some dairy, some frozen vegetables, lean means. Fill yourself up on the vegetables! There are so many and so many different ways to prepare them healthily. Healthy eating will remove lots of inflammations from your body/joints and you will be amazed at how much relief you feel! You CAN do this!0
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Sorry you're in a funk! Looks like there's a lot of people to help motivate you!.
I believe you can do it if you want it bad enough. I'm sending a friend request 0 -
Hey you sound like you have had a tough time, im 21 and in the military so i know how it feels to struggle. I was blown up in Afghanistan about a year ago and after recovering from the leg and brain injuries i was told if i ever ran or did any activity that elevated my heart rate too high it would cause blood vessles to burst and i would die. Well i went from a lean 190lb young man to 230 in about 3 months due to depression amd comfort eating among other things. I finally decided to say screw the doctors and screw the taliban for causing me this level of depression and i started small with walking on a treadmill for an hour a day. I felt rediculious because id been a soldier who did an incredible amount of physical training my first few years in and now i was struggling to walk a mile. I finally got into such a determined state i began to go to the gym daily for an hour as work permitted then i increased my workout intensity till i lost 10lbs over approximately a month and began to run again and use the elliptical as well. To make a long story short i got into healthy eating and escalated to doing Insanity (did it slowly and it still works) and after 3 months i was back to 207lbs and then depression hit with PTSD issues and family health issues and i went to comfort eating....im currently back at 229 and have decided enough is enough. Ive seen myself do it and its not hard but im determined to be happy with myself and i know that if i can do it you can too. Dont let failure cross your mind, tell yourself daily that you will push past the pain you feel because no results will come without effort and you need to show yourself that your a strong woman who is capable of Incredible things when you put your mind to it. Eat healthy and go to the gym because you literally cant fail if you make the effort to improve your health. 0
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Recumbent Bikes are wonderful for people with knee issues. I've had surgery on my right knee (volleyball injury) and still need it on my left knee (I didn't have insurance to get that taken care of yet) through all of that the recumbent bike and walking flat on the treadmill was the exercises that kept the weight coming off. Now that I have the additional ankle injury I still find walking flat on the treadmill a good workout. My doctor told me to avoid incline. Here's the best thing to remember, you don't have to start off doing 2 hours at a gym. If you decided to walk around your neighborhood and keep adding distance as it gets easier do that instead of watching the time. If you like to know how long, just add time in 5 min. increments. Trust me I am impatient and I have lost large amounts of weight really fast when I was more phsyically able, and now I can't and have to take each day based on how my knees or ankle feel, if that means 15 min. at least it's something more than doing nothing! Celebrate the small accomplishments and eventually you will reach your goals! 0
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Hey there ... getting it out of your system talking about it like you have is a great start.
I am publicly declaring for myself....
"decision made ... I have just gained my last kg of fat from 'not caring', 'complacency', 'excuses', 'limits', etc. I am not at the 136kg I used to be 2 years ago, but at 111kg, that is enough ! Time to get back to 100kg" - this I just posted on my facebook and will post publicly on MFP too.
This is my 3rd account and would be 3rd time 'back in the ring'.
I always welcome new friends. I find giving motivation to others self-motivating so that's why I like it here.
All the best with the new life you are making for yourself.0
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