i feel like just breaking down and crying
themeaningofthemorning
Posts: 320 Member
my roommate comes up to me and goes “oh i need to tell you something. i can’t tell you who said this because i don’t want to start drama, but someone told me they think you’re looking gaunt and you’re getting too skinny too fast and they’re worried about you because they think you’re taking all this fitness stuff too far.”
like
excuse me?
i eat close to 2000 calories every day and net 1530
i have lost an average of 0.5 lbs a week
all of my measurements (BMI, body fat percentage, tape measure method) put me squarely in the upper-middle range of “healthy” so there is literally no way that i LOOK unhealthily thin
everything about my weightloss has been 100% healthy. my main focus hasn’t even been on getting thinner, it’s been on building and maintaining a healthy lifestyle where i’m giving my body what it needs to function well. i don’t only pay attention to calories, i look at everything - carbs, protein, fat, fiber, all the micronutrients - to make sure i am getting everything i need and am being as balanced as i possibly can. my goals in exercise weren’t just to look good - i wanted to get my resting heart rate down (it was up in the 80’s on average and now it is at 60 - NSV!!!!), i wanted to build my strength and endurance. in short, i’ve spent so long and put so much effort into making myself HEALTHY, so hearing that someone is just assuming i’m not because i’m losing weight is so offensive to me.
and if they were really worried they’d have come to me and said so and asked about what’s going on with me, not talked about me behind my back. they obviously just wanted to be able to judge me while seeming saintly. if they’d have come to ME i could have shown them my food diary on myfitnesspal and they could have had their “fears” addressed, but that obviously isn’t what they wanted. they just wanted to trod on my success without sounding like a *****.
i actually hate people
you can never do anything right
if i gained weight, people would be saying i eat too much
if i lose more weight, people will talk about how “unhealthy” i am, even though i’m literally the healthiest person i know BAR NONE
like it bothers me that i can’t ever just be… not self conscious. because apparently people are judging me no matter what i do.
why can’t people just be happy for others instead of jumping to horrible conclusions to make themselves feel better about not achieving their own goals?
like
excuse me?
i eat close to 2000 calories every day and net 1530
i have lost an average of 0.5 lbs a week
all of my measurements (BMI, body fat percentage, tape measure method) put me squarely in the upper-middle range of “healthy” so there is literally no way that i LOOK unhealthily thin
everything about my weightloss has been 100% healthy. my main focus hasn’t even been on getting thinner, it’s been on building and maintaining a healthy lifestyle where i’m giving my body what it needs to function well. i don’t only pay attention to calories, i look at everything - carbs, protein, fat, fiber, all the micronutrients - to make sure i am getting everything i need and am being as balanced as i possibly can. my goals in exercise weren’t just to look good - i wanted to get my resting heart rate down (it was up in the 80’s on average and now it is at 60 - NSV!!!!), i wanted to build my strength and endurance. in short, i’ve spent so long and put so much effort into making myself HEALTHY, so hearing that someone is just assuming i’m not because i’m losing weight is so offensive to me.
and if they were really worried they’d have come to me and said so and asked about what’s going on with me, not talked about me behind my back. they obviously just wanted to be able to judge me while seeming saintly. if they’d have come to ME i could have shown them my food diary on myfitnesspal and they could have had their “fears” addressed, but that obviously isn’t what they wanted. they just wanted to trod on my success without sounding like a *****.
i actually hate people
you can never do anything right
if i gained weight, people would be saying i eat too much
if i lose more weight, people will talk about how “unhealthy” i am, even though i’m literally the healthiest person i know BAR NONE
like it bothers me that i can’t ever just be… not self conscious. because apparently people are judging me no matter what i do.
why can’t people just be happy for others instead of jumping to horrible conclusions to make themselves feel better about not achieving their own goals?
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Replies
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People will be judging you your entire life. It's not right, but it's true. I had to make peace with that a long time ago. You sound like you have done everything the right way and are now the fit and healthy person that you want to be. No one can take that accomplishment from you.0
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You need new friends, if that is what your real friends say. They must be really jealous.0
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Just jealousy I think! You don't look too skinny in your profile pic, you look just right. Ignore them.0
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Nice bit of jealousy from both your friend and the person who said that I think! There's nothing more aggravating to someone who is unhappy with themselves than somebody losing weight for some reason. I have to not tell a lot of my friends because it triggers a negative reaction from them.
You sound like you've done brilliantly, I bet you are glowing with health. If they really are that jealous then they'll be feeling worse than you. Just smile and think about how healthy you are inside and out while they are rotten with jealousy.
Gem1920 -
You look a healthy weight, just got to realize that everyone has a different perspective of what is the right weight. I remember when I was a young woman, my mom felt I was too skinny at about 15 lbs overweight. It used to really bug me but know I understand it. Don't worry about what your friend is saying just know your healthy by all health standards.0
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Some people are jealous. Apart from jealousy, some people are just concerned and mean well. Obesity is such an issue in the western world that I think people really do see overweight as "normal". On top of that, people get used to you at a certain weight. I don't know how much you've lost, but if it's a significant amount, it may be a shock to people who have known you when you were heavier. It might just take them a while to get used to your new appearance. I had several people express their concern to me when I was still a good 20 lbs overweight, and I have no reason to think they were jealous or resentful. They just weren't used to seeing me that thin.0
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Stick with it!! A lot of people like to think they know what's best, but the only person who can decide that is yourself! Just stay healthy, and as long as you're happy nobody's opinion matters.0
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When people lose weight, jealousy causes the negative comments made by others. They secretly wish they were accomplishing what you have accomplished. Just tell them to ES&D! Then just make new friends. Join the skinny beeotch club and all will be okay
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Remember: Misery loves company. They are miserable at seeing your accomplishments and are trying to
sabotage your good work. Don't fall for it.0 -
Anytime a statement starts out with "“oh i need to tell you something. i can’t tell you who said this because i don’t want to start drama, but someone " you just KNOW it isnt gonna end well.
Do ya feel good?
Do ya eat good?
Do ya exercise?
If someone says "hey "OP" you're a garage door opener (or a toad or a brick or et al"................ARE YOU? Does that make it so? You arent gonna please people huni. Stop trying. Please you...your heart, your blood pressure, your blood sugar, your cholesterol, your skin, your brain, YOUR BODY. Tell everyone else to buy a big dog and then fu@k it and leave you alone.
Seriously..there are downer in every crowd.
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Why do you care? Perhaps your friend is worried, even though it appears to be baseless, but I think it says a lot about your friend to be concerned for your health. Should she have told you in person, yes, but obviously she could be worried you'd react this way so she confided in another friend. If you are losing weight and getting healthy the right way, then don't worry about it. Man, people are soooo sensitive.0
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One things I try to teach my kids is that if they hear something mean about someone, that they not repeat it to that person. I don't see the sense in hurting them, like your roommate did to you. This is all about you and you'll know when you're happy with where your at. Keep up the great work.0
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EFF 'EM!!!! :drinker:0
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Don't let it get you down. My best friend has had the same response. She was overweight her entire life...she's had many, many health issues and finally decided to do something about it. She lost weight, has been eating healthy foods, exercising and looks simply amazing! And what are @ss holes asking her? How long does she have to live? Do you want to know why they are asking her this? B/c they are still fat cows that don't want to do anything but hate that she finally did at the age of 43 and she looks spectacular...while they still look like toads and they're 10, 20 and even 30 years younger than her.
There is always going to be people that are ugly...they have envy and hatred in their hearts....then they say things that "seem" that they mean well, but really they're being spiteful. They know that it will hurt your feelings and make you feel bad, maybe eat a donut or two and gain a few pounds, then they'll feel better about themselves...DON'T give in to their ugliness!!
No crying!
Edit -- My best friend got off her diabetes meds, high blood pressure meds and some other heart meds...so you tell me, is she healthy or sick???? hmmm? I think it's probably the same with you...you are healthy!0 -
Just do what makes you happy and don't worry about what others think so much, as long as you think you look good that is all that matters. My husband said I got to skinney but I think he is finally adjusting to the smaller me. I like being 125 and I don't feel like that is too skinney so I plan to stay that size :}0
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:flowerforyou: do what makes you happy and makes you feel good. obese seems to be the normal thing, so you do probably look damn skinny compared to that keep your chin up and be proud of yourself for your success! 0
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If your picture is fairly current then no you look perfect so ignore the jealous cows. So nice to read you did it all the right way too!0
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Some coworker asked me 2 weeks ago if I was dying because I was losing so much weight, I was like W T F! how mean can you be!?
Im not going to say the comments dont hurt my feelings, or the snickers when I eat my "bunny food." I just remind myself who I am doing this for and the reasons why 0 -
You need new friends, if that is what your real friends say. They must be really jealous.
Totally agree... Jealousy...... Move forward and be happy and leave them behind.0 -
I agree... it's jealously. I've experience this kind of thing before when good things have happened in my life. Chin up. You are doing an amazing job.0
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Please don't allow people who are jealous of your success to bring you down!!!!! You look amazing, and you are being healthy. That's all that matters!!! Haters gonna hate girl, just ignore them and don't feed the trolls
(((hugs!))))0 -
I'm sending a Wet Rasberry to your "Friends". Listen to your BMI and other numbers. You are doing Fine, and you know it!!
:flowerforyou: 0 -
They probably aren't used to seeing you skinny either. They may have the "heavier you" image stuck in the head and now you don't fit into that category anymore. This is intimidating for some people. And yes, jealousy is probably a factor. I don't know how heavy you used to be, but you look fantastic now. Try to let it go, sweetie, you don't need the negativity. You're beautiful.0
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whoa there tex. since when did you have to give a f&£k?
you sound like someone who bottles up their feelings instead of saying how you feel. you can say how you feel you know. you could even educate your dumbass friend as to the health of your diet, and his lack of, and tell him to tell whoever told him also.
I think information is a good weapon, I've had a similar situation and it pretty much went down like this:
blah blah blah your diet / intake is unbalanced and unhealthy, were worried about you. ... now this is when the questions should begin.
thats interesting, how many calories should someone of my height and size eat a day? according to nutritional guidelines what is a safe calorie deficit? how much protein does someone of my height and size need a day? how much protein did you get today? I had XXg. what about sugar, how much did you consume this week? do you know the guidelines for sugar intake? do you know your BMI / BMR / TDEE? im XX/xxxx/xxxx. do you know what amount is considered healthy and safe to loose a week? whats your resting heart rate like? .......... ok, so just to clarify, you know nothing about how much you are eating a day, weather you have a balanced diet if your current weight is healthy or much about your current level of fitness hand health. what the f^^k are you worried about me for?
people don't like getting schooled. I'd say bust out some of that.0 -
Some people can be really crappy when they are jealous... Sorry that happened to you... Sorry people have to be crappy... They are everywhere we go... And we have to learn to make it so, those people just don't matter... There are things that matter & hurt us, and there are things that don't matter & hurt us.. In this case, try to think of something happy instead. Think of the most happiest thing you can think of.... I know what you mean... Dammed if your fat w/ poor self esteem, and dammed if your thin w/ confidence. Can't make the whole world happy 100% of the time... But its not for them. Its for us.. Its us that matters. :flowerforyou:0
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Don't take it to heart, they probably meant well. Seeing someone lose a lot of weight can cause people to worry, it probably does look like you're too skinny to them if they are used to seeing you bigger. Explain to them what you have told us, how you are healthy and eating well and within a good range for your weight and height. It just takes some people a bit of time to get used to the new you x0
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wow... if that's not a sign of jealousy I don't know what is. If you're eating and doing it right forget them. They just don't want you getting more eyes on you then on them. Maybe no one else said it, maybe your roomie was thinking it and didn't want to get busted. Maybe she thought she could derail you and make you want to stop eating healthy and working on you. Maybe they just don't have enough willpower to stick to healthy foods so they rather criticize you. You're focused on your health, you're eating good food and enough... forget them. They're not real friends. I think it's awesome you're worried about your health and not about a size zero. Fake friends want you to fail, real friends want you happy.
**Edit** Also, if they were "concerned" you were doing it in a unhealthy way she should have confronted you and said "is everything ok?" or are you depressed etc. Then you could simply say "I'm just trying to get myself healthy" and that you're eating plenty so they don't worry you're depressed, not eating, etc.0 -
People are saying that because you make them feel uncomfortable by reaching your goals. Do not let anyone box you in after you have worked hard. They are not your friends and that person who told you that should be cut off immediately because she is jealous!0
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I hate when people do that. I just saw my mother today for lunch and she said I looked like skin and bones...so long story short I'm typing this from prison for aggravated assault and battery with a minor (the little kid was just standing nearby, don't ask), but it was tots worth it, cause as long as her jaw is wired shut, I won't have to listen to her rude and hurtful comments.0
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Where can I get my copy? :laugh:0
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