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Flor9
Flor9 Posts: 8
in Introduce Yourself
Hi everyone, my name is Florencia, I'm almost 20 years old. I've been reading some of your posts for a long time but wasn't brave enough to share my own story I guess. Well, I got tired of keeping things to myself, I realized that just makes things worse. I've struggled with binge eating since I was about 13. It only got worse as I got older, and it seems to be at its worst now. What made me sort of hit rock bottom was the fact that earlier this year, through a balanced eating plan and a workout routine, I managed to lose about 30 pounds, and I'd achieved my goal weight, which was about 115 pounds. I can't even tell you how happy I was guys, it felt almost too good to be true. I was so SO proud of myself for sticking to the plan and doing things the right way. The problem was, being chubby my whole adolescent life, I still felt like that girl on the inside. I was insecure, not entirely comfortable with my looks, there was always something to improve or change. That's just not a way to live, right? Well, unfortunately I couldn't help it. I can't help it. So, about 6 months ago, I started binging again, not sure if it was the pressure I was putting myself under. Anyway, I gained all the weight back during that time (even more than my original weight). My weight now is about 148 pounds. It feels like the biggest disappointment ever. Maybe it will sound silly to some people and I think I get it, because it's not the most important thing in life. But to me it's a big deal, especially after being successful once. I don't really know how it got out of my hands, it's almost like I didn't entirely noticed what I was doing. Now I can't fit into my jeans, pants, skirts, etc. It's awful, my family started to ask me what's going on with my weight. I know they're trying to help but it only makes me feel worse. Some days I can't even get out of bed, I've been trying to lose weight again lately and I'm useless. I think I'm too depressed and I just can't find the motivation. You guys seem like a great support group and I'm sharing my experience hoping to find people who can relate to this and also hoping to help people from my own personal experience. Well, I hope I didn't bore you all haha, that's all for now. I'll stay in touch, best wishes to everyone!
Flor

Replies

  • Chocolover95
    Chocolover95 Posts: 4
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    Hi Florencia! I'm glad you lost weight the last time.
    What was your motivation last time? I know that teenage life is very stressful, emotionally, I'm still i high-school as well. But like maybe you can try to find a motivation that keeps you going, not the 'so i become popular' kind but the ' i want to look good and healthy for a long time' kind. Because if it's like just reaching goal weights, once you reach that, maybe you will start eating again. I think it's like being committed life long to the cause.
    I hope that helps! you're welcome for the support, I'd love to be of more help too! :)
    where do you go to college btw? I need some motivation for that. :p
  • Flor9
    Flor9 Posts: 8
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    Hey there! Thanks for the kind words! Well, I think you have some great points there, as soon as I lost the weight, I started to feel empty and that's when I started to eat again. I guess what motivated me last time was mainly the confidence I had in myself back then, which seems to have disappeared now. You can add me if you want!! And as for college, well, I don't live in the States, so I can't help you out with that one. I'm studying psychology, my only advice is do what you love. :)
  • kdeaux1959
    kdeaux1959 Posts: 2,675 Member
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    I encourage you to do the things you did before and do it again. Remember the way things felt at 115. I understand the whole emotional eating thing.-- I encourage you to get in a gym and increase your activity level to find another outlet. Do it for you... nobody else. How others respond is icing on the cake.. You are who is important here. Try to see yourself as successful. You can do this. I know you can.
  • Flor9
    Flor9 Posts: 8
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    Aww, thanks, that's really sweet of you. Well, the thing is, when I lost all that weight, I was a bit obsessed and I was eating TOO healthy, if that makes sense. I just felt under pressure all the time. I don't know how to find a balance. I'm not sure if you guys know what I'm talking about.
  • mdyorston
    mdyorston Posts: 158
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    Hi Flor, I'm glad you finally decided to speak up as I think that's the first step. I think you need to talk to someone to figure out what triggers your binges. You need to identify the root of the problem maybe some childhood trauma like being bullied or something. Identify it, allow yourself to cry and be angry and then take control. Remember you are smart, beautiful and can do anything you put your mind to, you did it once you can do it again. CHOOSE to be happy. I aam here if you ever need to talk :)
  • Flor9
    Flor9 Posts: 8
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    Thanks! I think one of the things that caused this was my mom being worried about appearances all my life. She would always tell me to watch what I ate and stuff and I was a kid who liked to eat. So I guess I've developed some sort of guilt throughout the years and that just won't go away so easily. Thanks for the support, it really means a lot. :)
  • mdyorston
    mdyorston Posts: 158
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    Everybody's parents unwittingly damage them in some way whether its by babying them too much or making them insecure. It's usually not done purposely (I would hope not) we all just do the best we can and hope our kids don't turn out to be serial killers lol ! where are you if I may ask? :smile:
  • Flor9
    Flor9 Posts: 8
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    I live in Argentina now, haha can you tell I'm not native? Yes, I know parents always try to do the right thing, I guess I don't hold a grudge, but I do think it might have affected me as a kid.
  • mdyorston
    mdyorston Posts: 158
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    That's funny because I met somebody on FB that has my same name and she lives in Argentina. Ok, so you have identified the problem now replace those negative words that are probably still ringing in you head with positive ones. Tape an affirmation on your bathroom mirror (or wherever you will see it first thing everyday). Can be as simple as "I am awesome"
  • Flor9
    Flor9 Posts: 8
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    Will try it! Thanks so much for your support. I think it's all I'm needing right now! :)
  • Chocolover95
    Chocolover95 Posts: 4
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    Hi mdyorston, I just wanted to know how you got your ticker like that? LIke when I tried to make my ticker it automatically went to " 10 pounds lost" you know the standard. But i've only lost 3 so far, like you. :)
    And Flor, just rebuild that confidence by like looking at yourself in the mirror everyday and telling yourself that you can do it. And like take your time, it can take a year not just a few months this time to lose the weight but that's all right. Yup, since you know about psychology, just... umm hypnotise yourself to gian confidence? does that make sense? :p

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