Stay on Wagon w/ Boyfriend
daniellescsu
Posts: 101 Member
I am at my heaviest right now, 154 lbs. (my weight fluctuates up to 5 lbs a day though so numbers are hard - I can tell how I am doing by how my clothes fit). I have been doing MFP for a couple years, but always fall off the wagon. Same with exercise, I will get on a kick, then get a cold or something, and fall off the wagon. My biggest struggle right now is living with my boyfriend. He is super thin and fit, but can eat a lot and likes good stuff (good as in bad). He would be totally supportive if I cooked healthy, but for some reason I don't for us. I only see him Thurs-Fri even though we live together because he works nights. So M-W I will log my eating, etc. but then on the weekend I want to go to breakfast and out to eat and get treats b/c I never see him so it feels like time together. I also have been dealing with health problems lately that are getting me really down and not feeling great about my future, so I hope getting back in to the swing of things will at least help somewhat. Someone help!
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Replies
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Hi I will send a request0
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Get the BF on the same wagon-will he go play tennis or go for a walk or some other activity with you? How about a walk or hike and a (healthy) picnic? We often go for a 1/2 day gentle hike and get a Subway to split. Hubs eats more than I do b/c he's active at work and thinner to begin with, but we can share the exercise experience and the scenery and eat pretty healthy so it's a win-win for us both....and our dog who gets to run around the wilderness and dig up bones from elk, deer, antelope etc. Don't try to buck the system, just make it work better for you.
Barb0 -
add me!0
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The boyfriend isn't relevant to the weight loss. If he wasn't in the picture, you'd find another reason that you were having trouble staying on the wagon. I would suggest you find a goal, something that you can remember and lean on to get you through so you don't allow yourself to make excuses. It can't be a number on the scale, but something you want to BE. For me it was that I wanted to be the fit mom on the playground with my kids, not the fat mom sitting on the bench watching. When you start to make bad decisions, you can focus on the goal.
I also think we all have to learn to own our decisions. It's OK to have a dinner with higher calories if you go for a hike after dinner. You can't start feeling bad or guilty, just do what you have to do. For example, I didn't have a workout planned but I had some cake and candy at work and not a great lunch, so tonight after my kids went to bed I did a quick 1.5m run, and I feel great! In the past I would have sat around all night feeling bad about how I ate during the day.
The mental component is so tough, I tried to lose weight for 15 years and always slid back and actually gained more than I lost. I was a ww online member for years. I wasn't committed, and I let myself off the hook. It took me a long time to figure out why, but I've now lost 85 pounds. I had to find my goal. I still have a ways to go, but this is the first time in my life I've felt this in control of my body.
One more comment on the mental piece: When I started running I was always thinking about at what point I would let myself stop, and I would stop as soon as I got there. I told myself it was because I was tired, but really it was a mental block I had put up for myself. I friend advised me that at the point I'm going to let myself off the hook, just go 15 more seconds. And the next time go 15 more seconds. Don't let yourself off the hook. Don't let yourself get psyched out. It worked. Eventually I got more confidence, and eventually did run a 5k. Don't let yourself off the hook in weight loss. Just work out for a few more minutes, cut out one snack. You'll start to own it and feel succesful and that will keep you going!0 -
Get the BF on the same wagon-will he go play tennis or go for a walk or some other activity with you? How about a walk or hike and a (healthy) picnic? We often go for a 1/2 day gentle hike and get a Subway to split. Hubs eats more than I do b/c he's active at work and thinner to begin with, but we can share the exercise experience and the scenery and eat pretty healthy so it's a win-win for us both....and our dog who gets to run around the wilderness and dig up bones from elk, deer, antelope etc. Don't try to buck the system, just make it work better for you.
Barb
HI Barb- He does all those activities with me, but it is winter in Minnesota, about 20 degrees out. We used to hike a few hours a day. It is more the eating that is the problem. I never see him so when I do meals feel like an event.0 -
i'm from minnesota!! i defintely hear you when its freezing out and you don't want to walk outside!0
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i'm from minnesota!! i defintely hear you when its freezing out and you don't want to walk outside!
It makes it super hard to stay motivated! In the summer I did a 10,000 steps a day challenge with some co-workers (no longer have that job ) and I won by a long shot b/c some days I would walk over 20.000. I think one day I did 28,000. But that was hiking pretty areas, etc. I have no desire to walk 28,000 steps on a treadmill!!!0 -
I'm in Saint Paul as well and trust me when I tell you that you *can* get out and enjoy the winter even when it's cold out. The recent cold mornings haven't stopped me getting out and walking or running every day The key is making sure you have the proper layers. Once we get snow, you could do snow-shoeing or cross-country skiing, both of which are a great workout. Don't use the cold as an excuse! I've played broomball tournaments outdoors when the air temperature was below 0!! Throw on a few extra layers and get out there and enjoy it!0
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