FRUSTRATED with friends and their "diets"

nsking83
nsking83 Posts: 145
edited September 20 in Motivation and Support
I'm 26.....4 years (almost) removed from college....but still very close (via email/ facebook since they're in IN and I'm in OH) with my close group of friends - all of us lived together off campus at least one year, and we were all in the same sorority (AOII - Alpha Omicron Pi, if any other of you were members, would love to "meet!").

HOWEVER.

There are some times when I just want to STRANGLE them! One in particular.

Via facebook, at least twice a month:

"Tomorrow, I'm turning over a new leaf!"
"Is being so good on my new diet - lost 2.5 since YESTERDAY!"
"Is out to pizza for dinner...........pizza doesn't count when you have a diet coke with it, right?"
"Is debating......go to the Y, or not?"
"Watching the Biggest Loser.....feeling like a big loser myself....."

It's like she wants people to message her...."oh, honey, you're beautiful just the way you are.....you don't need to work out." This is from the same girl who's been on every "diet" out there.....from diet pills to South Beach (multiple times) to Weight Watchers and all but starving herself.

I can't STAND it! It drives me absolutely insane.

Today, I noticed that a mutual friend (who just had a baby 2 weeks ago, mind you) messaged her and said something about a "fruit fast" and how they should both start doing it once a week..............

I know that I shouldn't be bothered by stuff like this, but how hard is it, really? Calories in vs calories out. Pounds aren't going to just melt off overnight.

I know I should just ignore her, but she IS a friend, and I just want to let her know how ridiculous she sounds. :noway:

Any ideas? Any similar vents?

Okay. Off my soapbox. For the moment.

Thoughts please

Replies

  • smae1980
    smae1980 Posts: 794 Member
    i don't know what to say, but I hear ya. I had a couple as customers in the restaurant I workin tyring to tell me about this stupid fad diet they are on and how you can't have this and you can't have this WITH that and you can't have bread at all, it's basically evil. They seemed to go on and on and as i wanted my tip from them I just had to smile and nod like I agreed. Not only am I using this site to lose weight a healthy way, but I'm taking a nutrition class in school so I know most of what they are saying is unhealthy crap, but I couldn't say anything! I hope you can find a tactful way to tell your friend she's wrong!
  • JJRunning
    JJRunning Posts: 146
    I'm 25.... 3 years removed from college... and I have the same problem with one of my friends!! She also tries to make me go out for fast food, etc when I'm doing well. Sadly, these people won't change unless THEY want to... and clearly they don't. My best advice would be try to focus on how good YOU feel and how well YOUR doing. She's an adult... you can be there for her, but ultimately it's up to HER:laugh:
  • wallace626
    wallace626 Posts: 9 Member
    That is frustrating. I am having some similar issues with my friends who aren't the most supportive of my weight loss goals. it is hard to ignore it when I have trouble even motivating myself sometimes. But it sounds like you understand what you need to do (calorie in vs. calorie out). Good luck to you!!!! Perhaps as you reach your goal weight your friends will envy you soo mucht hat they will beg for tips and then you can lay it on them.
  • queensara2478
    queensara2478 Posts: 60
    I know a few people like this myself. I too get frustrated with there lack of responsiblities. I give them MFP site and tell them the pounds don't come off over night and when they're ready to trully make a difference for themselves, I am here to answer any questions they have!
  • simona1972
    simona1972 Posts: 355 Member
    I know a lot of people like that...namely people I work with. I just roll my eyes and say nothing.

    There was a group of 20-somethings who are all about a size 0 and wanted to do a Biggest Loser competition. I laughed when I heard that. My thought was...you're all losers!

    They're on every diet...a new diet each week, a new pill/tea/plan each week. I got asked how Im doing it...I just said good old fashioned calorie counting and exercise. They didnt seem too happy about that.
  • freeflower3
    freeflower3 Posts: 39 Member
    I'd say lay low for a while. Don't respond much to the diet topics.

    Then, next time they see you, and see your results, they will ask you and you can tell them, --"It's simple math. In vs out. MFP!"
    :happy:
  • suziblues2000
    suziblues2000 Posts: 515 Member
    The sad fact is, all those "twenty somethings" are really screwing up their metabolism and when they get older they'll probably have a real hard time.

    Good for you seeing them for what they are!
  • sonjavon
    sonjavon Posts: 1,019 Member
    I know people like that too... and honestly, the best advice I can give is ignore it for now.... and wait until you've either reached your goal or gotten near your goal and post a pic on FB. When she asks, "How'd you do it?" THAT'S when ya drop the bomb....

    "Remember when you were eating pizza with diet coke and not counting it? I was learning to eat correct portions of good quality food. Remember when you were deciding whether or not to go to the Y? I was there... and working out like a mad woman. Remember when you were watching Biggest Loser? I was calculating my calories and working out so that I could be the biggest loser!"

    But hey - that's just me... and yeah - it drives me crazy too!
  • Rcasey1985
    Rcasey1985 Posts: 13
    I feel your pain. I had a friend ask me a few days ago if I knew of any "strict diet plans" because she needed to lose 10-15lbs "asap". I told her I count calories and eat a variety of lean protein, complex carbs and healthy fats. Her reply? "That sounds hard." *facepalm*

    People will just always look for an "easy way" to do things (even though, IMO, counting calories is super easy).
  • apetermann
    apetermann Posts: 20
    I had to laugh, because I know people like this, too. I know we all wish there was an easy button for getting healthy, but the fact (that I'm sure all of us know) is that we get out of it what we put into it. I hate to sound like an old cliche, but nothing in life is easy. We all fall off the back of the wagon, but being the bigger person and knowing what's best for YOU is awesome!

    It brings to mind a person I work with, who has always struggled with her weight. She gets on the newest fad, whether it's pill or food or what-have-you, and gets so frustrated when those damn 15 lbs don't come off by the next morning. She's got a lot of negativity...and I find this to be true....when someone can't be thin or happy, they enjoy trying to make the rest of us just as fat and miserable as they are.

    some days it's hard, but looking on the bright side is the best way to make it through the day!
  • simona1972
    simona1972 Posts: 355 Member
    The sad fact is, all those "twenty somethings" are really screwing up their metabolism and when they get older they'll probably have a real hard time.

    Good for you seeing them for what they are!

    Y'know....at 20, I wish I got it. I really wish I got that I was responsible for my health and that there was no quick fix. Wisdom comes with age, I guess. I know I really messed myself up with fad diets and pills and everything else I thought would help me lose weight without effort.

    Today...I know better and Im shouting it from the rooftops. I tell everyone I know about MFP....even my boss sees me on the site and she doesnt say anything because she knows how much it's helping me.
  • godblessourhome
    godblessourhome Posts: 3,892 Member
    "Is out to pizza for dinner...........pizza doesn't count when you have a diet coke with it, right?"

    this isn't true?!?

    uh oh.













    :)
  • nsking83
    nsking83 Posts: 145
    I'm glad that even though there might have been some on here that read this and thought, 'Wow....what a witch!' that there are some people out there that really get it out there! I thought I was going nuts.....because honestly, sometimes I have that pesky habit of letting the little things just eat and eat and eat at me until I just explode.

    So, thanks, all, for letting me vent! I'm glad I'm not the only one....and you all just give me the inspiration I need to just keep going at it....even though what we're all doing isn't "easy," and it's not a "quick fix"....ultimately, it's the healthiest way, and it's a way of life....not just a fad.

    You're all the best!!!
  • nsking83
    nsking83 Posts: 145
    "Is out to pizza for dinner...........pizza doesn't count when you have a diet coke with it, right?"

    this isn't true?!?

    uh oh.




    I LOVE IT!!!!!!! Thanks for the giggle! :laugh:








    :)
  • nsking83
    nsking83 Posts: 145
    "Remember when you were eating pizza with diet coke and not counting it? I was learning to eat correct portions of good quality food. Remember when you were deciding whether or not to go to the Y? I was there... and working out like a mad woman. Remember when you were watching Biggest Loser? I was calculating my calories and working out so that I could be the biggest loser!"

    I'm putting this in my "favorite quotes" on facebook............and I'll also adding you as a friend, because you seem like a kick-*kitten* person :drinker:
  • confuseacat
    confuseacat Posts: 137 Member
    Maybe they are just ignorant about nutrition. I say that only because of the pizza and diet coke reference and I am not trying to insult their intelligence. They may just need education. There is a MFP fanpage on Facebook send them a become a fan request , Maybe suggest that MFP is educational and how much you have learned about metabolism ,calories and nutrients by being a part of it. They might want to check it out.
    You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. If they start the conversation about diet then try and point them in the right direction. They will either take your advice or tire of hearing it and not bother you again. Good luck!/
    Sorry if this has been suggested I did not read all the posts first. :/
  • sonjavon
    sonjavon Posts: 1,019 Member
    "Remember when you were eating pizza with diet coke and not counting it? I was learning to eat correct portions of good quality food. Remember when you were deciding whether or not to go to the Y? I was there... and working out like a mad woman. Remember when you were watching Biggest Loser? I was calculating my calories and working out so that I could be the biggest loser!"

    I'm putting this in my "favorite quotes" on facebook............and I'll also adding you as a friend, because you seem like a kick-*kitten* person :drinker:
    Thanks! We're already friends though! LOL!
  • kwardklinck
    kwardklinck Posts: 1,601
    I've watched family members goin on these dumb diets my whole life. Just drinking this lemonade with honey and cayenne pepper (yuck), hot dog diet (are you kidding?) and something about grapefruit. I tried the Adkins diet myself a few years ago but I felt horrible on that. The only thing that works for me is eating sensibly and controlling my portions. I've always dieted that way (except for my about 3 week loss of mind when I did Adkins). I couldn't do anything that kept me from eating stuff I like to eat. I just realize I can't always eat as much of it as I'd like. If you can't eat that way forever, then it's not a good idea.
    Just know that your journey may be slower but you're less likely to gain any back because you're doing it in a sensible way.
  • donsch
    donsch Posts: 40
    For the first time in my life I feel I am doing the weight loss thing the right way. I am NOT, and I repeat NOT, dieting! I do not deny myself anything I really want. However, if I really want it, I count the calories and I exercise big time if I go over my alotted calories. I am amazed at how many things I really do not want. I am eating so much better. I feel better, my complection is better, And I have so much more energy. I have one lady that tells me I look so much more healthy and radiant. This is why I have changed my life and this is why I am through with diets-I have changed my life.
  • itsmenatalie
    itsmenatalie Posts: 190 Member
    I definitely have people like this in my life. The best is now that I've reached a healthy weight people what to know what I "DID" like it's some big secret. I tell them I kept track of what I ate using MFP and that I burned more calories then I was consuming. They get all annoyed that I didn't do HCG or something because surely that would mean there's an easy way to do it. Luckily my sister uses MFP too and has also lost weight the right way, so we sit around and discuss being healthy and it's fun!
  • kwardklinck
    kwardklinck Posts: 1,601
    Amen.
  • nakrya
    nakrya Posts: 191
    I definitely have people like this in my life. The best is now that I've reached a healthy weight people what to know what I "DID" like it's some big secret. I tell them I kept track of what I ate using MFP and that I burned more calories then I was consuming. They get all annoyed that I didn't do HCG or something because surely that would mean there's an easy way to do it. Luckily my sister uses MFP too and has also lost weight the right way, so we sit around and discuss being healthy and it's fun!

    I went to buy some new clothes this weekend because I reached the 20lbs mark,and the lady at the shop was like, "How did you do it?!" and I just told her, exercise and eating right. She looked at me and said she "couldn't" excercise, and that she's now on some diet restricting blah blah blah....I just nodded and smiled. I find some people always have an excuse to not do something....
  • madgoth
    madgoth Posts: 60
    Some people just aren't there yet. It took me a long time to get into the frame of mind where I realized it was all up to me. I think many people get stuck in denial that it is their job to take control of what goes in. The happiest I have felt is when I realize that I was choosing to eat the healthy thing, or saying no to something that added no value.

    It is hard to get to where most of us are. But I agree that it is maddening to have to listen to them complaining and whining about feeling deprived or not having time or whatever. I am finding out that I have to make time for doing exercise because it is a priority for me.
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