I am my own worst enemy

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Replies

  • hairsprayhon
    hairsprayhon Posts: 334 Member
    You won't change until you really WANT to. One thin that helped me, was answering some written questions,
    Why do you want to lose weight?
    How will your life be different when you lose weight?
    What do you see when you see yourself at your goal weight?
    What are you willing to do to lose weight?
    I wrote my answers and then wrote new answers each week, until I internalized this, when I hit a plateau I go back and answer the questions again.
    Another point I want to echo, is you can not change everything in your life overnight. Lots of thin people love food, so do I. The key is not to eat less food, but better food. Slowly find the foods that are not helping you get fit and replace then with healthy food that you like. If you only eat food that doesn't taste good, you won't be able to stick with it long term.
    And constantly tell yourself, I can and will be fit. Janet
  • deb3129
    deb3129 Posts: 1,294 Member
    You just have to decide that you really want it, and be willing to work for it. 8 months ago I was 41 years old, 338 pounds and dragging myself through every day exhausted and depressed. Now I am 110 pounds lighter, and feel like I have gotten my life back. I work 40 hours a week at a desk job and have 4 kids and a husband. I always said that I did not have time to work out. But the truth is, when I decided enough was enough, I found time. And is it so worth it. You just have to make the decision to start, and keep doing it every day. At first every day seems like a struggle, but the longer you stick with it, the easier it is. When I started, I could barely walk a mile, and I hated every minute of it. But now I look forward to working out, and love the way it makes me feel.
  • erinnstreeter
    erinnstreeter Posts: 82 Member
    I didn't start exercising until about three months into my weight loss; I think I started exercising around 20 pounds lost. And even then, I only started exercising because I wanted to feel the endorphin rush of activity, and to be limber and strong again. It's been said a bajillion times on the forums, and it's true: calorie deficit = fat loss. You can lose weight without exercising.

    You mentioned feeling like you have no will power, like the mountain is too high to climb. Consider this: You don't have to change everything all at once. Start with one thing. Set your food diary for weight maintenance, and eat only those calories each day. When you're successfully eating within those calorie/macro guidelines, change your settings to lose 1/2 a pound a day. Lower that to a pound when you're ready - step yourself down into limited calories gradually.

    Some other baby steps you can try: Quit soda and/or juice drinking, and commit to drinking 8 glasses of water a day. When you don't crave the sugary drinks anymore and the water consumption is routine, then do something new, like stop eating white potatoes and replace them with a green vegetable.

    A new lifestyle isn't built out of thin air, all at once. Build on your progress; create small habits and they'll eventually become a whole new lifestyle. There's a forum post out there where californiagirl2012 basically said, 'Weight loss is boring.' (Look here - http://www.myfitnesspal.com/post/by_user/16440072 - it's the third comment down right now on her comment feed.) It's a daily repetition of actions that reap results. Start a healthy habit; rinse, repeat.
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
    You don't have to exercise to lose weight! Diet is definitely the most important part of weight loss.

    I think the best way to begin is incrementally. Slow down on the soda, then stop completely. Then introduce a salad for lunch, etc. Slow and steady progress towards a goal, I think, is the best way to get there without feeling like you're depriving yourself.

    The motivation can only come from inside you. No one can give you that. Just know that you can do it too!

    I agree with this. I'd made the decision to cut back to one can a day of soda for a month before I removed it from my diet entirely. And I've been watching what I eat for about a month now and am just now going to put in serious exercise. For some of us, the changes have to be more gradual. Doesn't mean that we are less motivated - just that we need to take it slower in order for us to feel kind to ourselves.
  • superpapa16
    superpapa16 Posts: 244 Member
    You have to really WANT it. Something internally has to click. Until then, there's nothing anybody can say to you to jumpstart your motivation. You'll do it when you're truly ready.

    ^ This.
  • Pixi_Rex
    Pixi_Rex Posts: 1,676 Member
    If you are serious about it you will find ways to stick to it. If you aren't it just wont happen.
  • dcdemocrat34
    dcdemocrat34 Posts: 33
    As everyone else has said, set SMALL goals for yourself.

    One of my goals was that this winter I did NOT want to squeeze myself into tights having a muffin top being uncomfortable, so I slowly starting working towards that goal.

    I also knew once upon a time I had killer legs, and needed to find out where they went, so I started doing strength exercises, and slowly they are coming back.

    Eating is hard for me too (being from the South especially!) but tracking every single thing I eat is really helping. It's overwhelming, but start small. Check out a Zumba class, or pilates once a week, or start with walking around your neighborhood, or walking on your treadmill and watching your favorite tv show. Baby steps.

    GOOD LUCK!
  • Kamile69
    Kamile69 Posts: 87
    I have a buddy who does it with me. Without her, I'd never stay the course. We keep each other motivated, discuss what works and what doesn't, share our successes and failures. It helps to have someone you know and trust, with like-minded goals to do this with.
  • Papps
    Papps Posts: 9
    I struggle with that too. I have noticed a trend that I do better if I drink plenty of water, record my food intake down to the last bite, and focus on how I feel when I eat, vs once I'm done. I used to scarf my food down, then be so full I was uncomfortable :( Now I just eat and listen to the cues!
    Another thing that has helped me was walking on my breaks. I get two, 20 minute breaks, and if I get out and get some quick walking in, my entire day feels more productive both in eating less, and mentally!

    I really like Erinnstreeters advice too :o) GOOD LUCK!
  • Espresso345
    Espresso345 Posts: 42 Member
    What seems to be working for my husband and me - so far - is more data. But we're both geeky types so gadgets appeal to us. We've been tracking our food in MFP but my husband also got me a cool Polar Heart Rate Monitor that I wear when I exercise. Surprise, surprise - turns out I've been over-training. I now follow the heart rate recommendations on the watch (and the sneaky thing increased my workouts two weeks ago to 5x a week because I was doing "so well!") and I'm back to losing about a pound a week.

    Like you, I tend to do well for....oh, a maximum of about 17 weeks and then Just. Don't. Go. to the gym. I think part of that is psychological - so THIS TIME - my husband is exercising with me, which makes it doubly important that I exercise - AND - he bought me a Fitbit as an early Christmas present.

    What does the Fitbit do? Well, it tracks your sleep and how many steps and flights of stairs I climb in a day - which serves as a nifty psychological "cattle prod" to get me to move more.

    I think what I really needed was concrete evidence that yes, things do "count." None of this, "gee, why didn't I lose a pound this week?" business. No "forgetting" that I hit the vending machines 3x this week. Hard numbers, data, data, data - and sort of viewing myself as a science project.

    HUGS - Don't forget: THIS IS NOT EASY, NOR IS IT SIMPLE. The body is a complex machine, and there are all sorts of components at work, including age, gender, hormones, and psychological aspects.
  • orr_stacie
    orr_stacie Posts: 48 Member
    Exercise doesn't always mean going to the gym or running a marathon. While your sitting at your desk, do leg lifts, arm lifts, etc. Get up and walk when you can. You are exhausted at night because of your weight. The more you lose the more energy you will have. You can do it. You just have to want it!
  • Snoopy108
    Snoopy108 Posts: 94 Member
    You can do this! Please try hard now because the older you get the more damage you do and the harder it is to get moving.....trust me I know. If I could only take back the last ten years and do it over I would not have let myself get so out of control.....
  • dbgiambrone
    dbgiambrone Posts: 2
    Reading these posts there is some really great advice in them. I would like to add one more thing. When I announced that I want to loose weight to my family, my son gave this quote to me.
    "If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you will find an excuse." -Anonymous
    I have decided it is time. I still have bad days, but I'm getting there. When you decide, you will to. Good Luck!!!
  • xMissLouBx
    xMissLouBx Posts: 9
    I agree with the previous comments, *Really* wanting it is the first and most important step in order to succeed in this.

    I have attempted so many times in the past 4 years to lose weight, and failed after just a couple of days every single time, slowly gaining weight more and more. Then suddenly it's like a switch went off in my head, I thought "I can't afford anymore clothes, I'm constantly paranoid and depressed about my weight, what is stopping me losing it?".

    So on day 11 now, which is the farthest I have ever gotten with weight loss, and after only 7 days I lost my first 3lbs. I wasn't starving myself, I still even ate some naughty things! But it is true what they say about moderation, don't binge on fat-packed food all day long (like I have been the past 4 years).

    I had a Chinese take away last weekend before my last weigh day and still lost that 3lbs. It was swapping the normal calorie filled Spare Ribs for chicken and veg instead. I think a lot is about swapping food for a healthier option, it takes absolutely no extra effort.

    I was even eating plain dark chocolate almost every night last week! The calorie counting on this app/site is what kept me in check with it, if by the end of the day I had enough left, I fixed that chocolate craving and still stayed within my limit.

    You can do this, I wish you the best of luck, I am truly the most lazy and unmotivated person EVER so if I can do it, so can you!
  • Diotima73
    Diotima73 Posts: 13
    I will borrow a line from "Dear Sugar's" Column #46 Beauty and the Beast : every last one of us can do better than give up.

    It's up to you to figure out where to go from here. Be well.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member

    I'm 30 years old... my metabolism has stopped and I sit at a desk all day long. By the time I get home from work, cook dinner for my husband and clean up.... I'm exhausted and just want to sit and relax. I never work out. I'm in horrible shape and I feel myself getting worse and worse.

    I'm 30 years old, i sit at a desk all day, get home from work, work out and then cook dinner for me and the husband and then relax in front of the telly....

    i do it because i want to look good & be healthy... if you really want it, you'll find the time and do it... the more often you do it the more energy you will have and the easier it becomes!
  • loserbaby84
    loserbaby84 Posts: 241 Member
    I get up at 3am, take care of baby, make my girlfriend breakfast, get to work by 6, have a tech support job (on my feet, moving heavy equiptment) for about 8.5 hours, get off, usually go shopping, (right when i get home) Get home, immediately workout for 45-60 min, come in, cook dinner, take a shower, take care of baby/play video games, then do yoga, eat some more, then bed.

    I have a decent day, but if its important to you, you will find time to get healthier. If you aren't motivated or wanting to do it, then you just dont want it that bad. You make excuses and then you complain about it on the internet instead of doing something about it. Change a little everyday, you dont have to do out running a mile all at once, but walk more, do some pushups, most definatly diet changes. Dont cut out all your bad food, switch for some craving cutters and one or 2 more servings of healthy food. Make your husband go on a walk with you, and if hes not supportive, that guys gonna have to wait till you get done working out to eat his mother****ingsupper. You can change, lots of people have, what makes you differant?

    :flowerforyou:

    If that doesn't inspire you I think you're hopeless!! Amazing!
  • ved8301
    ved8301 Posts: 8 Member
    I know how you feel. I am approaching 30 and have steadily gained weight since graduating from college due to my lifestyle change from active to sedentary (desk job). Also I LOVE food and have been eating whatever I want, large portions, etc. I've thought about needing to lose weight everyday but never do anything about it. I was very naturally thin up until I starting working, so dealing with needing to lose is still hard for me.

    I've just started to get serious about diet and exercise in the last month as I have some weddings next April and June I want to be slimmer for. I've gained 70 lbs in 5 years, and am hoping to get at least 40 off in 5 months.

    My advice to you is really take things day by day. First thing in the morning I think about what I am going to eat for every meal and log it. I have to take the guess work out of what I'm eating or else I give in to take out, fast food, etc. because it's easy. I've be firm with friends that I can't go out for bad food and drinking and I'm really serious about this change. So far everyone has been supportive. I also bought a scale to weigh and measure my food on to help with portions/accurate calorie intake.

    Get adjusted with your diet first and get a few weeks under your belt with the new calorie amounts. Then start exercising. It's also hard to try and start everything at once, which leads to failure too!

    Because I have these dates in the future, I'm able to want it more. Think of a milestone you have coming to work towards, but remember the day by day approach. It's much easier to think about your 3 meals and walk or run for one day, than everything you want to try and accomplish during a set period of time.

    Good luck!
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    Know what you need?

    an alter ego.

    latch on to some badass character that youve fallen for or loved for many many years, a character who's strength has always felt familiar and/or inspiring and you channel that btch when every day you just doesnt have the cajones.

    AND

    good news... 30 is when you start climbing toward your sexual peak, your body is never sexier or ready to be sculpted and improved and changed.
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
    Know what you need?

    an alter ego.

    latch on to some badass character that youve fallen for or loved for many many years, a character who's strength has always felt familiar and/or inspiring and you channel that btch when every day you just doesnt have the cajones.

    AND

    good news... 30 is when you start climbing toward your sexual peak, your body is never sexier or ready to be sculpted and improved and changed.

    This, all day. Use your imagination to drive you and make it fun.

    Also, if you go on a walk, please be aware that certain parts of the road are LAVA and you must run past these parts or you will die. No stopping.
  • green_nurse
    green_nurse Posts: 25 Member
    My best motivation was a broken heart...true story

    ha! me too!
  • Hopintolose
    Hopintolose Posts: 10 Member
    Hi hun, You know what? I can be a person who gets really unmotivated myself. (seems like it comes naturally for everybody else sometimes, right??!) hahaha... not so. What kickstarts my motivation a lot of the time is looking at pinterest Fitness wall. There are some amazing photo's with realistic quotes that after reading through many of them I find myself getting more and more excited cause I realize that it takes work and it takes doing SOMETHING. Let me know if it Does work for you :) It is very realisitc the way it talks about working for it!!
  • green_nurse
    green_nurse Posts: 25 Member
    Know what you need?

    an alter ego.

    latch on to some badass character that youve fallen for or loved for many many years, a character who's strength has always felt familiar and/or inspiring and you channel that btch when every day you just doesnt have the cajones.

    AND

    good news... 30 is when you start climbing toward your sexual peak, your body is never sexier or ready to be sculpted and improved and changed.

    This, all day. Use your imagination to drive you and make it fun.

    Also, if you go on a walk, please be aware that certain parts of the road are LAVA and you must run past these parts or you will die. No stopping.

    love this!!!!
  • bear339
    bear339 Posts: 4
    Do it for you! Once you get started, it is amazing how much fun you have....I had cancer and gained over 30 lbs....since May of 2010 I have lost 45 lbs....I was so excited....then about 6 weeks ago I had a pinched nerve in my back so I was out for 2 weeks....then I pulled a hip flexor muscle. I have been out for about 6 weeks....uuuggg. I ended up gaining back 10 pounds....but now I am right back at it....The saying I keep telling myself is: Nothing tastes as delicious as thin looks!!! So remember thin looks DELICIOUS.... And once you started excercising, you would have more energy, too!!!!
  • Mellie289
    Mellie289 Posts: 1,191 Member
    Thank you everyone! I know that it's up to me and only I can motivate myself....

    I put myself at losing 1.5 lbs a week... thats around 1450 cals a day. I KNOW I can do that! I love fried foods, sweet tea and BIG portions...

    I love your idea of taking one thing at a time and slowing down little by little... this way it's not so hard.

    Thanks again everyone!!! :flowerforyou:
    Maybe you could stick with it easier if you tried to lose on 0.5 to 1 lb a week at first to get yourself going?
  • LaSiciliana
    LaSiciliana Posts: 8
    i couldn't have written this better myself, this is exactly how I feel...but add a two year old in the mix.
    i feel guilty about going to gym after work, leaving DH home with the baby and not getting home until about 7ish but i'm getting over it and going twice during the week and twice on the weekends.

    i am at a very low point, mentally, and it's really wearing on me and my relationship with my husband. I don't like my body but i know that no one can change that but me and i have to DIG DEEP to find the motivation to move forward.

    one day at a time is how I take it... i can find any excuse there is to now workout (I broke a nail and I need to go home and file it, LOL) and i'm really pushing to break all my bad habits to form new one.

    you can do this.
  • sarahg2290
    sarahg2290 Posts: 54 Member
    Thank you everyone! I know that it's up to me and only I can motivate myself....

    I put myself at losing 1.5 lbs a week... thats around 1450 cals a day. I KNOW I can do that! I love fried foods, sweet tea and BIG portions...

    I love your idea of taking one thing at a time and slowing down little by little... this way it's not so hard.

    Thanks again everyone!!! :flowerforyou:

    I also have a desk job where I sit around for 8 hours a day. Like you, I would get home, cook dinner, and after that I would be exhausted! But honestly, now that I am working out and eating healthy, I have a ton more energy! So you just have to get started! I forced myself to cut out fried/fatty foods for a month and slowly added in working out. Now that the month is coming to an end, I can honestly say that I have way more energy every day and I don't even crave fast food anymore. I've also lost 7 lbs and am planning on doing my measurements this weekend.

    Good luck and you can totally add me if you would like :)

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