Lack of support :(

First off, based on everything I've seen you post, etc., you have an excellent personality. In that alone, you should feel less insecure about social situations. Despite how cruel the world seems, most people would rather hang around a person with good personality and conversation than one who is empty inside but is "skinny." I'm not a looker; I'm fat, my face is hideous, and nine times out of ten I'm the worst looking person in a group of people. But every single person I am hanging out with knows that without fail, I will have their back, I will encourage, and that I mean what I say. They respect that, and I believe if you go into social situations looking to be that friend, looking to give of yourself freely, you will find many people who want to give back in the same way, with no regards for your weight. Now, this is just my experience, but it is exactly what has happened over the last 10 years.

It's hard with no support from your family, yes, but not impossible. And as long as its not impossible, you WILL accomplish your goals, even if it is just us strangers from MFP keeping you going. Don't be intimidated by people, don't be intimidated by the gym. We all want to see you succeed and if you check out the threads, you will see many people who have battled through the same situations and won, and now both look and feel amazing...but more importantly, share their victories with the community so people like you and me know that we, too, can succeed.

Check into your local day cares to see if they have any play groups or mommy groups that meet on occasion. I'm sure you aren't the only mother who's overweight, so please don't worry about that. I bet you'll find other moms who are trying to lose weight, so it would be a win-win. The kids would make friends, and you'd have some weight loss buddies.

Also, you don't have to join a gym. You could do DVDs at home while the little ones are napping. You could also put them in the stroller and go for a walk. Your nine-year old could walk along or ride his bike, which would help get rid of some of that energy. One of my favorite childhood memories is when my dad would take us for long bike rides.

Are you part of a church? Maybe they have a program for toddlers you could sign up for and meet other mothers that way. Check on things like the YMCA and Girls/Boys Clubs too. My mom used to socialize with the other moms when she brought us to swimming lessons. They'd all hang out in the bleachers with coffee and knitting; sometimes we went out for lunch afterward.

You are your own best support system. You need to do this for you - and it sounds like you want it bad enough.

It starts with the diet - make some small changes that you can feel proud about, whether it be less fast food, limiting sodas and juice, or eating more fresh veggies.

As you build little bits of confidence, get out into the world! Honestly - someone's weight doesn't bother me and wouldn't deter me from being friends with them. But if all they did was complain about it, and it didn't seem like they were making changes, I would find that annoying (not saying you do this, rather that your weight wouldn't stop me from chatting you up at the playground).

Use MFP honestly and daily, and even though we aren't with you live and in person doesn't mean we don't care. We want you to succeed. Keep pushing!

And PS - about the self-confidence thing - I have friends of all shapes and sizes. If someone wanted to join in a social activity with me, I wouldn't be worrying about how they look. I would be wondering what kind of person they are. You seem awesome... I would hang out with you! Reach out to those groups and take advantage!

I teach horseback riding lessons a few times a week, and a new rider - an eight year old boy - came for his first lesson and was possibly the most terrified kid I have ever tried to teach. Even just walking with me right by his side, he kept saying over and over "I am so scared, I am so scared, I am so scared." I told him it was totally fine and completely normal to be scared of a big horse and the possibility of a long fall to the ground BUT that for every time he said "I am so scared," he had to say "But I've got this."

You are scared. And lonely. And frustrated. BUT YOU'VE GOT THIS. Recognition is the first step. The second step, literally, is to put one foot in front of the other and keep moving. Do it slowly, do it safely, but keep doing it and don't give up. You've got this.

One of the best lifestyle decisions I ever made was to get a dog. My dog doesn't actually like me, but boy does she love to walk. If I don't have time to go to the gym (and I too don't really like a gym atmosphere), I can always take her for a walk, jog, or trip to the dog park. She doesn't judge my cottage cheese thighs. She doesn't judge my back fat. She only cares that I hoof it with her for an hour or so a day, and in return she reminds me that whether it's raining or cold or my birthday or a Tuesday night, I committed to taking care of her and therefore I best get off the couch and do so.

Best of luck!

I wanted to lose weight, but it took going to a Mommy's and Muffins day with my daughter to actually get me to do something about it because I had such trouble just walking to the front door.

Set some goals, even if it's to do better today than yesterday.
http://baysweightloss.blogspot.com/2012/06/know-what-youre-aiming-for.html

Commit to log EVERYTHING in MFP that's food related.

Take baby-steps. Figure out what sort of things you can do today that will help you: drink more water, bring your breakfast to work instead of going through a fast-food drive thru, focus on lean-healthy proteins/fiber.
http://baysweightloss.blogspot.com/2012/05/things-that-have-helped-along-way.html

This was where I started:
http://baysweightloss.blogspot.com/2012/03/losing-weight.html

Don't try to conquer the world in a day. It even takes multiple days for people to climb Mount Everest.

Good luck!

I WILL GIVE U AS MUCH SUPPORT U NEED I KNOW WHAT IT IS LIKE OF YOUR WEIGHT T0 GO UP AND DOWN. I HAVE DONE IT FOR 4 YEARS NOW. MAKE UP YOUR MIND THIS TIME U ARE GOING TO DO IT, IF U CAN TO GO TO THE GYM EXERCISE AT HOME EVER FOR A MINUTE EVERY BIT HELPS IF U EXERCISE MAKE U FEEL GOOD. I KNOW IT WILL BE HARD BECAUSE OF THE AGES OF YOUR CHILDREN BUT I WOULD START AT HOME. ON STEP AT A TIME ONE DAY AT A TIME. U CAN DO IT

Hello to you! Glad you are reaching out to us here! I don't have the "support" of friends around me either. I had a gym membership but my husband lost his job and we downsized where we could and that meant bye-bye gym membership...that sucked BUT with our tax return money we bought a treadmill so we could use it when we wanted to. A very basic one with no bells and whistles because we wanted to save as much money a we could from returns for the "what if he never finds a job" situation. So I have that I can walk on when I need to and now that it is getting colder I am using it more and more. No one holds me accoutable for what I do, eat and the shape I am in... no one except me! And of course I am my worst enemy! Struggled ever since I was little with my weight. At least ever since I was "made fun of" by others! Which in my case started really in the 2nd grade, but got worse in the 5th when I some kids nick named me "LA" (large *kitten*). Funny how some things from such a long time ago stick with you. Anyways it was a choice I MADE, with no ones help! I kept seeing my weight go up and up each month, each yr and it was high time I do something about it! A neighbor of ours had lost over 50 lbs and when asked about it he told us about this sight. Did some research about it and joined! Wasn't committed real good at first but now I am and I log in faithfully and weigh in weekly! Exercise didn't come so easily either. But I took it one day at a time and before I knew it I was in a routine and now look forward to my zumba class and walking on the treadmill. I pop in a movie or listen to my music for 30 mins and its my "me" time. I am not sure where my motivation comes from. Maybe its looking back at pics of me when I was 50 pounds heavier and NOT LIKING what I see, or is it the fact that I used to be the heaviest one of my sisters, I have 2, and now I am not and LOVING that. I am the "middle" one now and working on being the "smallest" when all said and done! Maybe its how I can now wear a size 14 instead of a 20/22 or a Medium/Large shirt instead of an XL/XXL, or the feeling I get when I DON'T work out. It is like the feeling of "I forgot something". But I do take off on 1-2 days a week where I don't walk on the treadmill. But I know the next day I will push it even harder when I get on there! Good luck to you as you go thru your journey! Its a mind set and only you have control over that!

If you are not able to find any groups then try starting one! Not sure where you live but in many cases there are others who feel the same and just looking for someone else to start. Try starting a group on MFP to see if there are any other local people working towards a healthy lifestyle. Set some some small easy goals that will encourage you to continue. Also rmember to be healty alos includes resting heart rate, blood pressure, cholesterol, body fat% so maby take a look at those things as well when setting goals. Do not take on too much too fast keep it simple. You mention you are chasing kids around well get creative put on a HR monitor take your kids outside or to a park if possible and chase them make a game out of it have fun if and when possible. Make sure to reward yourself for hitting your goals maybe some ME time again only if possible. Set a goal for logging in, but you are here and that shows you want to do something! You Got This!

Meetup.com!! Good Luck!

I sit in my home, terrified of social situations.

Here is the problem. Girl, you are more than your weight! And even if you feel awkward and think you're coming across awkward, you're probably not. Even if you are, there are plenty of kind, gracious people out there. You just need to get out there! Push yourself one step at a time. Get yourself around people, even if you don't talk to them. Then work toward initiating a conversation. Then meeting up with someone for a coffee date, ect.

Practice makes perfect, and I'm proof of that. I used to be uncomfortable in big groups and get really quiet. However, I started leading a bible study and was forced to facilitate a discussion among 15 women. Very intimidating for me at first. Now I'm relaxed, more confident, and can approach people easily. But if I hadn't put myself out there, I wouldn't have changed.

Best of luck *hugs*

First off, based on everything I've seen you post, etc., you have an excellent personality. In that alone, you should feel less insecure about social situations. Despite how cruel the world seems, most people would rather hang around a person with good personality and conversation than one who is empty inside but is "skinny." I'm not a looker; I'm fat, my face is hideous, and nine times out of ten I'm the worst looking person in a group of people. But every single person I am hanging out with knows that without fail, I will have their back, I will encourage, and that I mean what I say. They respect that, and I believe if you go into social situations looking to be that friend, looking to give of yourself freely, you will find many people who want to give back in the same way, with no regards for your weight. Now, this is just my experience, but it is exactly what has happened over the last 10 years.

It's hard with no support from your family, yes, but not impossible. And as long as its not impossible, you WILL accomplish your goals, even if it is just us strangers from MFP keeping you going. Don't be intimidated by people, don't be intimidated by the gym. We all want to see you succeed and if you check out the threads, you will see many people who have battled through the same situations and won, and now both look and feel amazing...but more importantly, share their victories with the community so people like you and me know that we, too, can succeed.

Love this...awesome!