I came too far to turn around now but...

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Crystal0827
Crystal0827 Posts: 244 Member
in Motivation and Support
I hope I don't sound like I am whining here...I am looking for something help ignite the motivational "spark" within me.

January 2012 I began my weight loss journey and through about June/July I lost 65 pounds. I still have 20-30 pounds to lose. But my will power, self control, motivation, you name it went out the window. Well not really out the window...I still care and I really don't want to gain the weight back but I can't seem to get back on the right path...I give into temptations and not just a little I over indulge, then I feel guilty about it but I find myself doing it again without even realizing.

I am trying to find that motivation I had when I first started this, has anyone else been in my shoes? What have you done to get back on track? I don't want to give up on myself and I want to lose the rest of this weight. I still struggle on how much I should or shouldn't eat...I don't know what is correct for me...

I haven't been on a scale in a few weeks to know if and how much I have gained quite frankly I am afraid. I am turning to the MFP community for advice.
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Replies

  • mfpcopine
    mfpcopine Posts: 3,093 Member
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    I can't say I've been in your shoes. My effort has been concentrated on not gaining in the first place, and it's gotten harder every year.

    Sixty-five pounds is very impressive. Hasn't the weight loss made you feel more comfortable in your body? Have your health markers improved? Are you exercising? I find that whenever I regularly engage in vigorous physical activity (cardio, but also yoga, and weight lifting) I feel more body conscious or body aware in a good sense. I think twice about undermining my efforts. Obviously, we all have our ups and downs and the holidays are usually challenging for most people.

    I think part of the way to regain motivation is to make it about something other than food. If you concentrate only on the food you can't eat, you're always going to feel deprived.

    Try to think of positive things you can do to support your weight loss without it seeming too much life an effort or like punishment.
  • IslandRider
    IslandRider Posts: 244
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    You really have come far, the difference in your pics is awesome! I'm just at the beginning of changing myself, so I haven't been there yet... still trying to find my true motivation myself. In any case, what was the biggest motivation for you when you first started? Was it the competition and having others in your real world daily life working toward the same goal with you? (spelling edit, oops!)
  • pitbullmama
    pitbullmama Posts: 454 Member
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    Know exactly how you are feeling. I don't know how it started but I do know I have to end it. Its that vicious cycle that's has plagued me my entire overweight life. I know that only kick in the pants must come from within and I am not sure if this will work but.... my thought is to start over. A brand new day one. As far as MFP goes, I am considering just starting over with a brand new account. In real life I'm heading off to the gym and hiring a trainer until I am prepared to go it again on my own. Decide what you need to do for you is all I can say.
    In the words of Nike.. "Just do it"
  • _granola
    _granola Posts: 326
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    Perhaps you need to change your mindset. A switch from dwelling on this ultimate goal that may or may not come, or may not come fast enough, to thinking about how successful you are right now, in this moment.

    I posted this yesterday: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/808411-the-truth-about-weight-loss-is

    Maybe it's something you can relate to, maybe not. That feeling of that goal weight dangling right in front of your face, feeling as though you are endlessly chasing after it because it will supposedly bring you the ultimate amount of happiness and success you've been told it would. From my perspective, that sort-of misses the whole point of what you have been doing and are doing right now.

    Really, what has kept me going and will continue to keep me going is forgetting about that ultimate goal weight, the numbers, and just the minutiae of weight loss and fitness, and focusing on my health right here and now (which will benefit me in the future), and truly "singing and dancing along the way."
  • dogacreek
    dogacreek Posts: 289 Member
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    I have lost 90 pounds over a two year period. Up to a few months ago, I would lose 1 pound a week, which was my plan. I was on a plateau for four months until I bought a BodyMedia Link. Since I've started wearing it, my plateau has broken and have lost another 7 pounds. It has inserted a new "twist" in counting my calories and exercises. I can actually see the progress or setbacks I make everyday. I'm a gadget person, so I really like it. I have a Polar FT7 I wore everytime I exercised, but this BobyMedia is the best gadget ever! I will comment to say, I do log everyday and I log everything. Not to do so, would only cheat me.
  • Crystal0827
    Crystal0827 Posts: 244 Member
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    This is all very helpful and I agree with what everyone is saying, I know I am the only one that can change this...I just wish I had that incredible motivation I did 11 months ago...I know I am the only one who can change this and have no idea why I feel the way I currently do, I just know I am not happy with myself.
  • Crystal0827
    Crystal0827 Posts: 244 Member
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    Dogacreek, can you tell me more about this bodymedia? Maybe this is what I need?
  • cebreisch
    cebreisch Posts: 1,340 Member
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    I think everyone has trouble with that at some point. I just went through a rough november with Halloween, 3 birthdays in 2 weeks, a death in the family, and thanksgiving. I decided last week that I was just going to hunker down and try to be real brutal with my tracking and lost 2.4 pounds.

    The motivation that got me started doesn't seem as "valid" as it was when I first started. Sounds like time for me to get some new motivation too!! :)

    Don't give up now! You can do it!!
  • DorisInTheDena
    DorisInTheDena Posts: 150 Member
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    It's all a BIG head game. I wish I could tell you how to get motivated. It just comes and goes for me too. That is why I have wasted my entire adult life being obese, or at least struggling with it. I know you have it in you. You have done an amazing job so far!!!
  • dtf88
    dtf88 Posts: 53
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    Take it day by day. Understand that you won't get today back, and the work you do today will bring you closer to your goal, and if you waste today, you don't get to do it over. If you are struggling to see how many calories you need to eat to lose weight, pick a calorie goal that you are comfortable with, nothing extreme, and consistently hit that number for a week or so and track your weight. If you are losing weight too quickly, increase the calories, if you are not losing any weight, decrease the calories by say 250 and check again. The key is to slowly lose weight, about 1lb a week so that the diet isn't too stressful and so that you maintain a healthy metabolism so that you can keep your results.

    Btw, 65 lbs of weight loss is amazing, not many people can say they've done that. I'll leave you with one of my favorite motivational quotes by the great Wayne Gretzky: "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take"
  • rezn8
    rezn8 Posts: 263 Member
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    Pick a workout program to follow. It helps when you have a specific schedule of workouts. I am on my second round of Insanity and find that having the specific routine to do each day encourages me to make sure I get it in. Also have someone or a group to be accountable to. No one wants to be the one who doesn't post their workout each day. Don't try to do it all on your own. You can find me on the team beachbody website as coach SWREZn8 if you need anything.
  • Crystal0827
    Crystal0827 Posts: 244 Member
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    I agree, I need to be held accountable and I think that is why biggest loser worked for me. I need to start by setting a goal and having someone or a group hold me accountable for it.
  • Mell00546
    Mell00546 Posts: 158 Member
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    I have been there. I started mfp about 6 months ago and went from 170 to 162. I was stuck at 162 no matter what I did. Looking back at my exercise and eating habits now I realize that I was taking in way to much sodium, not sticking to my food goals on the weekends, and half a**ing my workouts. So with no change in the scale I gave up. I stopped logging and going to the gym. I gained back every pound that I had lost.

    It wasnt until I was at a friends wedding at the beginning of October and saw a picture of myself with my boyfriend that it hit me. I was the fat friend (again)... I started going to gym and eating right that Monday. I am not perfect and I have eaten things that I know I shouldnt but I am human and I will reach my goal. As of yesterday I am 161 and still losing :)

    Dont give up! Find the inner strength to say no to temptation and know that all of your hard work is for you and no one else! You can do this!
  • mfpcopine
    mfpcopine Posts: 3,093 Member
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    This is all very helpful and I agree with what everyone is saying, I know I am the only one that can change this...I just wish I had that incredible motivation I did 11 months ago...I know I am the only one who can change this and have no idea why I feel the way I currently do, I just know I am not happy with myself.

    You've done extremely well, but that kind of drive is hard to sustain. That's why you have to try to tie it to as many motivators as possible. And they should be things you generally WANT to do and can work somehow to make second nature.

    Thinking is commendable, I'm sure you've already done enough analysis and education if you managed to lose 65 pounds. Work on finding concrete methods: Classes, workout gear. There are online services that organize strangers who want to eat and explore restaurants. There must some that arrange for people who want to get out but eat healthily.

    Sometimes people on this board are dismissive of my remarks (which are always intended in a genuine spirit of helpfulness) because I'm not overweight. But I can tell you, people like me face similar problems from the other side of the divide. As you get older, it's very easy to start thinking, "What's the point? So many people I know don't care." Health concerns (although I have some that are pretty close to home right now) can seem distant, and frankly, fear is not a long-term motivator.

    Good luck, and keep working at it. Losing and/or maintaining for many people represents life-long behavior modification. You can't "Just Do It." You need a framework that you have to keep rebuilding.
  • KellyJannine
    KellyJannine Posts: 56 Member
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    It sucks.. but you have to look at it as a lifestyle change. Give yourself one meal a week that you can have what you want, without a binge.. keep at it.. You really are doing great!

    We have to master our habits, and our thinking.. it is everything as a whole, not just the eating. Once we figure out what we need to overcome emotionally and mentally, we will be better off.

    The hard part is not getting into an eating disorder. If you find you need one cheat day a week, lower your calories during the week so that you can have a free day so to speak! Drop the calories a 100 everyday and then be free one day.. that actually helps a LOT of people.

    Compromise, but don't punish yourself for having a slice of pizza or whatever. I think thats why people do so well with weight watchers, because they can eat what they want and the point system makes it a little easier. Maybe weight watchers flex points is something you'd be interested in? otherwise... keep up strength training and cardio.. increase it on days you do go over, and just have fun with it! Use positive reinforcement for the days you do well, and don't focus so hard on the days you don't. It is a hard thing to overcome, but i have faith!

    good luck
  • MyM0wM0w
    MyM0wM0w Posts: 2,008 Member
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    When I start to lose motivation or slip I have to sit down and think about WHY I started this journey. I look at before pictures, recall situations at my heaviest that made me want to lose, and really focus on the reasons for doing this.

    Once I spend some time doing that I start thinking about where i want to BE at the end of this journey(within reason). I know I'll never look like a super model in a pair of jeans BUT I think about shopping in stores I couldn't before or wearing things I've always loved the look of but couldn't wear.

    That usually helps me prioritize and make better decisions.
  • Celeigh12
    Celeigh12 Posts: 763 Member
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    Remember that sense of urgency that surrounded you in January when you decided to start losing? I'm sure many of the things that drove you to start have been improved - you look better, your clothes fit better, you feel healthier and more fit. You've lost your sense of urgency - that ohmygodi'mfat!!!!! feeling.

    You have two options (not including giving up and going back to your old ways, because that wouldn't be good):

    1) Stay where you are. Maintain your current loss. Live this life. It's infinitely better and healthier than where you started.

    2) Find a new sense of urgency. You are not going to get your original motivation back unless you return to that state because your life is different (and better) now. Maybe it's a newfound desire for a fitness modelesque body. Or a desire to be in the best health you can imagine inside and out. Or simply to see what the best you possible is. Whatever it is, it's likely different that what was spurring you on 60+ pounds ago. And that's a good thing because it shows how far you've come.
  • Cherbear67
    Cherbear67 Posts: 245 Member
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    I have been where you have been but I look at how far I have come and have decided enough is enough. I can't continue to do this damage to myself.. I finally decided to kick it up a notch and do this once and for all.. I went to my first Zumba class last night and had a blast... I can't wait till the next one.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
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    Hmm, sounds like you haven't found a lifestyle change that works for you. Perhaps your diet was too restrictive when it came to tasty foods? Maybe you haven't found a workout that you truly love?

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