This is a diffrent kind of success story, MY STORY

WHY I BECAME FAT

Ok I wanted to tell my story It will be hard but I know the only way for me to get control of my weight I need to share why I became FAT!!! Here it goes I was a very happy child and very thin so much so u could see my bones I was that little, but it all changed when I was molested as a little girl, I was very young just not sure how old I was or how long it happened for but I guess that is something I will never know! I also remember wearing a dress for the first time and how I was starting to develope and I remember like it was yesterday my cousin looked at me and noticed I was not worried that he was going to do anything to me but it was another thing that did not make me feel comfortabe! I know that is when I really started to gain weight it was like a (I dont know how to word it) but it was a way to protect myself u know I guess its like not realizing that gaining the weight was protection so that no other man would ever hurt me again that if I gained alot of weight I would not be desirable to men, its the opposite of when other girls who have this happen to them they turn to sex and that was so opposite of what I wanted to do! By the time I got into high school I reached 189 lbs and as I got older I just kept gaining! When I did finally start to date I would get so sick to my stomach could not eat and always had a friend with me thats how bad it was and it sucked, I dated some thru out the years with the same problem, I finally realized WHY I was overweight I did not want to draw attention to myself so being fat made it easier to not be noticed, but it got to a point I wanted to change that I was tired of letting one person who was mentally sick decide how I was going to live my life!!!! I would lose, gain, lose, gain it was an endless cycle! So in October 1997 my life changed my brother introduced me to a man and after we talked and started seeing each other I knew he was the man I was going to MARRY, all those times I would get sick could not eat and always wanted a friend with me when going out on a date well that all changed I was so comfortable around him all I wanted to do was be with him it was the best feeling in the world the crazy part something I would of never done, when he was at work I called his mother and asked if I could come by and meet them I also wanted to surprise him and he was so surprised !! ( that was huge for me) so lets get to June 19, 1999 one of the best days of my life I MARRIED my soul mate!!!! So three months after the big day my life got even better turns out while I was saying I DO, my body was saying look out shelley the one thing you have always wanted is going to be here in less than 9 months, yep I was finally going to be a MOMMY my life went from scared and hating my life to the most amazing future any one could ask for, and now I am the proudest mother of 3 beautiful children! My husband and I have had an awesome marraige but today its the strongest marraige we have had such a great life and so lucky not to have any problems to deal with but that changed my husband had a teenage son who is now in prision for doing to my 8 year old daughter that was done to me when I was a little girl and the worst thing a mom could ever go thru is knowing that she failed to protect her little girl but I am proud to say that she is one of the strongest little girls I have ever met we do have problems with her acting out she gets very angry with me and I will till the day I die show her how sorry I am but I want her to always know that the things that happen in our life DOES NOT DEFINE WHO WE ARE and that is where my journey starts I will not let someones actions define me as a person it is not my fault and to celebrate my rediscovery I am going to work on ME I am going to lose this weight and be proud when a man looks at me because I deserve it but not only that my kids deserve to have a mother who is healthy and who will finally be a better mother because of it!!! I am going to celebrate when I achieve my goal weight which I will call my rebirth!!!!!! There is one thing I want to say Thank you mom and dad for being the best parents I could ever have and to my awesome husband I LOVE YOU, because of you I am the happiest girl in the whole world you have given me so much but I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU MORE SUCKA!!!! LOL