How do you feel about people knowing your weight?
ShinyDragonfly
Posts: 301 Member
My boyfriend's co-workers, for whatever reason, were guessing how much i weigh (mind you, i've never really met them). They all guessed around a certain number but my boyfriend told them i weigh more than that. In reality, I was and am closer to their number than his. I need to see them for the first time this saturday (my boyfriend gave me 5 days notice) for a company christmas party. I'm really upset and wish I could be thinner by then. Anything like this happen to you? How did you feel? What did you do?
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Replies
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First off I can't ever imagine a circumstance where anyone I was involved with would discuss my weight with people who had never met me - and if they did (which they better hadn't!) I would hope they wouldn't then tell me! What was your boyfriend thinking?
That aside, listen, you are who you are. The only person's opinion who matters is YOURS. Now tell me, are you going to let the arbitary wonderings of a bunch of people you have never met upset you? It seems crazy, it IS crazy. Those people should be concentrating on finding out whether you are a great person, not what pant size you are. As for your boyfriend, tell him next time a conversation like that turns up to tell everyone to mind their own beeswax
Have a good time, just be your wonderful self and remember, the scale is only one number, it does NOT define us
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I couldn't care less anymore. I've accepted it and I'm working on it before I accepted it I hated anyone knowing. Think my whole mfp list knows what I am. Partner does too... Just got lighter than him. He he x0
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Ok you have an eating disorder and proana links on your profile! Honey your tiny. It was insensitive of him for sure... Does he know about your eating disorder? If so what was he thinking telling you that? He sounds like a catch for sure!
Your very slim and pretty, sure you will look amazing, try hard to push past it! Sure they will all think you look amazing and you will! Keep your chin up... Not worth caring what they think! They're just his colleagues! X0 -
Don't know why you would care because you look absolutely amazing! Bet none of them have girlfriends as slim or good looking as you. Don't sweat it.0
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Thank you very much for this, it was helpful. I'm glad you thought the whole situation was wrong too- i'm glad i didn't over react. I did tell him how much it bothered me and he understood. so hopefully it doesn't happen again. but it's hard to pretend it doesn't still hurt.First off I can't ever imagine a circumstance where anyone I was involved with would discuss my weight with people who had never met me - and if they did (which they better hadn't!) I would hope they wouldn't then tell me! What was your boyfriend thinking?
That aside, listen, you are who you are. The only person's opinion who matters is YOURS. Now tell me, are you going to let the arbitary wonderings of a bunch of people you have never met upset you? It seems crazy, it IS crazy. Those people should be concentrating on finding out whether you are a great person, not what pant size you are. As for your boyfriend, tell him next time a conversation like that turns up to tell everyone to mind their own beeswax
Have a good time, just be your wonderful self and remember, the scale is only one number, it does NOT define us0 -
I'm glad youmve been able to accept it and work on it! It sounds like youmve made a lot of progress! Congrats on being lighter too. Just be carful it doesnmt become more than friendly motivation between you two.0
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I don't care at all if people know my weight. I mean, I'm a big girl...no one is looking at me thinking "Hmm, I bet she's around 130". haha0
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First off I can't ever imagine a circumstance where anyone I was involved with would discuss my weight with people who had never met me - and if they did (which they better hadn't!) I would hope they wouldn't then tell me! What was your boyfriend thinking?
That aside, listen, you are who you are. The only person's opinion who matters is YOURS. Now tell me, are you going to let the arbitary wonderings of a bunch of people you have never met upset you? It seems crazy, it IS crazy. Those people should be concentrating on finding out whether you are a great person, not what pant size you are. As for your boyfriend, tell him next time a conversation like that turns up to tell everyone to mind their own beeswax
Have a good time, just be your wonderful self and remember, the scale is only one number, it does NOT define us
^^This EXACTLY! Couldn't have said it any better. Worth reading it again. And tell your boyfriend he is cut off for a week if he ever does that again! lol. Guys.. smh.0 -
I never discuss age (I'm 65 in a couple of weeks) or weight (261lbs) cos they are not important to me - what matters is that I look as good as I can for my age and I am losing weight and feeling better every day!!
You,on the other hand, are young, very attractive and also slim. I can't imagine why your weight would be discussed by people who don't even know you! They have to be really immature....or jealous....or just plain ugly.
Your biggest asset is a great big smile, it works for me :flowerforyou:0 -
I agree with the others in that why should people you haven't met be talking about your weight, and why would your fella encourage this? If this was my fella, I'd go mad!
I don't care if people know what I weigh to be honest. I only tell those who wouldn't judge though. I'm heavier than I look, so I usually get the shocked look. If I got a surprised look I'd possibly feel differently!! I tell people my weight who have issues with theirs, to make them feel happier. My fella's sister has issues with her weight but she's tiny. When I told her my weight (a good 2.5 stone heavier) and that I wasn't bothered, it made her less bothered, if that makes sense, which is what I wanted :-)
Don't care about what people you haven't met think about you. (or even those you have met!) :-)0 -
First of all, it wasn't very nice of your boyfriend to discuss your weight in the first place, let alone with people you don't even know. I don't know in what context this subject came up, but boys can be very thoughless when it comes to these things, so maybe he didnt mean to put you on the spot or make you feel insecure.
I've just looked at your pics and you look beautiful! You definately don't have to lose weight as far as I'm concerned. Just get dressed up in something that makes you feel pretty but comfortable and I'd bet all his colleagues would be jealous! Don't worry so much about your weight hun. You look beautiful and you should enjoy it more!
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As the term "proana" has many different definitions I'm a bit worried that you have the wrong idea. As seen in my profile I called it a support group, and it is. Infact, if i could access it from my phone this exact conversation would be taken place there instead of here. He knows about the eating disorder, yes. And the problem isn't that he told me, it's the fact that the conversation took place. He said it was because he was proud that i weighed more than they thought. but he didn't know that i'd lost the weight again. However, as I said, the conversation shouldn't have taken place at all. Thanks for the supportOk you have an eating disorder and proana links on your profile! Honey your tiny. It was insensitive of him for sure... Does he know about your eating disorder? If so what was he thinking telling you that? He sounds like a catch for sure!
Your very slim and pretty, sure you will look amazing, try hard to push past it! Sure they will all think you look amazing and you will! Keep your chin up... Not worth caring what they think! They're just his colleagues! X0 -
Just a note to say that guys usually don't have the relationship with the scale that we girls often have. To them, it is no big deal to talk about weight. Hopefully your bf understands a little better now how that would upset you. The fact that he told you about it, shows that he was clueless about how much it would hurt you. Hopefully he is now better informed and won't do it again.0
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thank you!0
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First of all, it wasn't very nice of your boyfriend to discuss your weight in the first place, let alone with people you don't even know. I don't know in what context this subject came up, but boys can be very thoughless when it comes to these things, so maybe he didnt mean to put you on the spot or make you feel insecure.
I've just looked at your pics and you look beautiful! You definately don't have to lose weight as far as I'm concerned. Just get dressed up in something that makes you feel pretty but comfortable and I'd bet all his colleagues would be jealous! Don't worry so much about your weight hun. You look beautiful and you should enjoy it more!
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I agree 100%.0 -
First of all, it wasn't very nice of your boyfriend to discuss your weight in the first place, let alone with people you don't even know. I don't know in what context this subject came up, but boys can be very thoughless when it comes to these things, so maybe he didnt mean to put you on the spot or make you feel insecure.
I've just looked at your pics and you look beautiful! You definately don't have to lose weight as far as I'm concerned. Just get dressed up in something that makes you feel pretty but comfortable and I'd bet all his colleagues would be jealous! Don't worry so much about your weight hun. You look beautiful and you should enjoy it more!
X
I agree 100%.
Awww.. thanks babe
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Thank you, this really helped. You're right, the opinions of people who only care about that shouldn't bother me0
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Thank you! I'll try to do just that!0
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I didn't know how much I weighed until I joined MFP. I was very embarrassed at my starting weight. However, since I have lost a lot of weight, I don't feel quite so bad. And the important thing is that I am doing something about it. Now, I speak in terms of how much weight I have lost, and for that, I am very proud. :bigsmile:
A year from now, I expect to be at a weight that is "normal," so I imagine that I will be happy to tell people. :laugh:
:flowerforyou:
As for your boyfriend and his friends, they must be awfully young. I guess no one told them that it's rude to ask about or discuss a lady's weight or age! Be the one to tell them how rude they are!
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yeah, it's a shame that people just aren't respectful anymore. But I don't want to start a fight, especially not at the party. I should just try to let it goI didn't know how much I weighed until I joined MFP. I was very embarrassed at my starting weight. However, since I have lost a lot of weight, I don't feel quite so bad. And the important thing is that I am doing something about it. Now, I speak in terms of how much weight I have lost, and for that, I am very proud. :bigsmile:
A year from now, I expect to be at a weight that is "normal," so I imagine that I will be happy to tell people. :laugh:
:flowerforyou:
As for your boyfriend and his friends, they must be awfully young. I guess no one told them that it's rude to ask about or discuss a lady's weight or age! Be the one to tell them how rude they are!0 -
Good idea. Best wishes.0
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