Working out with a Buddy

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kaceelawlor
kaceelawlor Posts: 184 Member
in Motivation and Support
I need some advice...

About 7 months ago I started working at a new job. Hit it off with one of the women here, and about 3 months ago we signed up for a kickboxing class together. We both wanted to lose some weight before the company Christmas Party (which is this Friday). She is about 70lbs overweight, me I just wanted to lose weight I didn't feel great about that I had put on over 4 years of college, and tone up some more. Her goal was to lose 20lbs by the party and mine was 15 (I'm halfway there).

Anywhoo, despite her wanting to lose weight, she has only lost about 3-5 pounds in the 3 months we've been kickboxing. She is starting to get discouraged, but to be completely honest, I have not seen a change in many of the things she is doing. She does not track calories (she has the Weight Watchers App, but forgets to update it), and when I suggest doing extra classes a week, she won't do them. I have told her, and raved about, MFP and how supportive everyone is on here, but she could care less. It seems as if her eating habits (during lunch at least) have changed, but I don't know what she eats at home. Either way, it is extremely frustrating because 1) she is a good friend and 2) she could have lost so much weight by now. She DOES have a few medical conditions, but I feel like she milks these for what their worth. What can I do to help her get more motivated? I don't want her un-motivation (is that a word?) to start to rub off on me! (ie: if she decides to skip class one night, and convinces me one night won't kill me).

HELP!

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  • kaceelawlor
    kaceelawlor Posts: 184 Member
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    Any takers?
  • MoonSapphire
    MoonSapphire Posts: 57 Member
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    I would keep telling her about all the things you are doing and hopefully when she sees how good you are doing, she might jump on board..... (idk if thats good advice or not)
  • healthy_mommy
    healthy_mommy Posts: 11 Member
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    My advice to you is to let it be. Maybe there's something else going on with her that you don't know about which is why she is feeling very unmotivated. As someone who has 70 pounds to lose myself, I know how daunting that number is. Nothing is worse than when thinner people point out to you that "you could be doing more"....I know, my husband does this all the time. It makes me feel so rotten about myself that I want to eat everything in sight...for comfort and just to spite him.
    She will do it when she's ready...as for her "milking it" I would just not pay much attention to what she says, change the subject. Hopefully she will come around when she's ready. :)
  • Woodman725
    Woodman725 Posts: 288 Member
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    Maybe a friendly bet? I have the exact thing at my office but I don't work out with the guy. He just wanted to lose weight and asked if I thought he could lose 20 by the end of the year. So I bet him, then I said, what if as a side bet I challenge you. So we had this bet going and he was not really losing, then I told him about MFP and how I use it for tracking. Anyway, he started just kicking *kitten* and really losing. I think after the first week of tracking his cals and losing like 2 lbs, he was a believer. And the best part is he feels like he can eat anything he wants, just track it and stay under the daily cals. He's now kicking my *kitten* at the competition, but I'm happy for him, he looks great. Up to now he is down to 250ish from 280!
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
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    My gym buddy was like this for a while. She'd complain about her weight so I'd make suggestions and she'd just brush them off. There was always an excuse like she didn't have the time to track her food. But she'd spend her money on quick fix things like those hotpant workout shorts and then she did Visalus shakes for a while. I finally gave up trying to be reasonalbe and started teasing her about it a little...thankfully she was a good sport.

    Anyway, she has finally found something that works for her (Atkins) so I'm psyched for her.

    Bottom line is, keep being supportive of your friend. She'll come around when she's ready.

    Just don't lose yourself... If she skips a workout, that's on her - you keep going for you!
  • LoraF83
    LoraF83 Posts: 15,694 Member
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    Just let it be. You can't make her WANT to lose weight. And until she wants to, she won't.

    I was that person so many times before - I had friends try to cajole me into classes, diets, etc. I just never had the desire to lose weight so I never tried very hard. Even though I was unhappy with my body, I did not want to put in the work required to lose weight.

    One day it will click for her and she will want to lose weight. The best thing you can do is be patient, and when that day comes, be supportive of her.

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