Dieting Alone

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krstn102109
krstn102109 Posts: 20 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hi everyone! I am going through a somewhat difficult situation and I was hoping someone who has been in a similar situation can share some thoughts.

I am essentially dieting and making these lifestyle changes alone. I have lived with my boyfriend for over two years now. He is a big "foodie". He loves to eat, especially foods that aren't that great, and even more so around the holidays. He has been very supportive, but the weekends are a big problem. He is always wanting to go out to eat, order pizza, get junk food, etc. I tell him to go right ahead, but then he (unintentionally) guilt trips me and says he is not going to do it if I don't. Most of the time, we just end up eating healthy. But sometimes I feel like he takes advantage of my weaker moments, like when it's been a long day and I don't feel like cooking, or when one of my old favorite unhealthy foods sounds good. I have talked to him about it and the majority of the time I am able to just say no, but I am concerned about the times when my willpower is down and he is encouraging falling off the bandwagon.

I don't mean to make him sound like a bad person. He has been incredibly supportive, but I just do not know what to do in those weaker moments. Have any of you been through something similar? How do you get through those times?

Replies

  • Ronij59
    Ronij59 Posts: 191 Member
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    Well, my husband is extremely supportive until I say something like, "boy that hamburger looks so good" or "I envy you that you can eat all that bread" Then he says, "Honey you can have some of that kind of stuff once in awhile, it is not going to hurt you" We have had the discussion of the big NO I CAN"T. So he doesn't do this very often anymore. But I think that if the both of you choose a day of the month that you are going to go out and stick with that day and on that day eat the favorite thing and then get right back on the road to healthy eating. Believe me though.....when you do eat that favorite thing and you feel like crap afterward, you may change your mind about eating out any more! Good luck.
  • cschiff
    cschiff Posts: 209 Member
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    I have a similar problem. My boyfriend loves to eat and usually doesn't eat that well. However, he has a great body so I think he doesn't understand exactly how it feels to want to eat everything but to know that you just can't. I'm not saying that I am depriving myself) because I do like to indulge sometimes, as you should, but he loves going out to eat and even when I want to make a healthy meal it seems like I just can't fill him up with the types of diet-friendly foods I need to be eating. I have a 40 lb weight loss goal and that's a lot. I talked with him honestly about this all and he seemed to understand. He is very supportive of me in all regards of my life-- for me, and it sounds like for you too, the love and respect is there but the understanding of why we can't indulge the way they can isn't there.

    I think we just need to be two strong ladies who remind the men, gently, that we're not like them and we can't eat the way they do. It seems to work for me, especially when I remind him that he looks really great-- I think he likes the compliment haha.

    Hope this helps!
  • erinkreis
    erinkreis Posts: 1
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    One nutrionest told me to eat 80/20. Eighty percent of what you eat is good and the other twenty percent you may have your favorite thing. Another told me that one meal a week can be your favorite thing. If you deprive yourself to often then you will get frustrated. Just make sure you get back on and plan the meal or twenty percent you are going to have. It is so easy to fall completly off. Good luck.
  • averys7
    averys7 Posts: 60 Member
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    I have the same problem. My husband is always wanting to go out to eat and have a couple drinks, blah, blah, blah. We go out for a fish fry every Friday night (we live in Northern Wisconsin...it's tradition). This past Friday he bought some fish and a huge bag of baby carrots and we baked our fish and had steamed carrots. In the middle of the meal he said this is almost as much fun as going out to eat! It made me feel so good because I know that I'm breaking our tradition.

    Tonight we had big salads for dinner and he actually said, "You know I hate to say this out loud because you might actually hear me, but I really like salad when it's like this." I almost died laughing and told him I was holding him to that!

    We met and fell in love over food...it's a huge part of who we are, but we are trying to do different things to have fun while eating, but not just eating crap like we normally would tend to do.

    Hang in there...men just need a little extra "training" sometimes! Good luck!!
  • majorfortuna
    majorfortuna Posts: 7
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    I'd say that proposing the idea that it will make it more of a treat when you go out will make it better as well. I used to eat so much crap with one of my friends and we stopped really enjoying it that much because we ate it all the time, so going out together and eating something you both like but haven't had in a while makes a really nice change when you haven't done it for a while.

    I'm guessing he just doesn't understand what you're going through entirely. It's not easy to if you haven't done it yourself after all. Calmly explaining that comments like those don't help can actually get through to people well enough to fix the problem though.
  • acm130
    acm130 Posts: 100 Member
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    I know exactly what you mean! My S.O. has a lifestyle and schedule that is prone to late nights and "on the road" options i.e. diners and fast food..... When we're home it's relatively easy because the majority of options are healthy whole foods (and I am a "foodie" for sure! I loooove to cook!) when away I try to plan, most places have salads, chicken breasts, eggs or broth based soup options. After a long day of work or similar :smile: moment of weakness as you describe, having quick easy staples available gives you an alternative that can be ready in like 10 minutes. Another tip, why don't you and your honey cook some things together? My guy in the last 10 years with me has developed an affinity for lentils, adores my cauliflower mash recipe and is so happy to know eating healthy tastes great and gives you more fuel and energy then the McDs "meal". So this friday date night can be you and your b.f. cooking a fantabulous dinner w/ some nice wine, candles and a kickass ipod playlist.
  • averys7
    averys7 Posts: 60 Member
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    One nutrionest told me to eat 80/20. Eighty percent of what you eat is good and the other twenty percent you may have your favorite thing. Another told me that one meal a week can be your favorite thing. If you deprive yourself to often then you will get frustrated. Just make sure you get back on and plan the meal or twenty percent you are going to have. It is so easy to fall completly off. Good luck.


    I like this...I think it is really good advice!! Honestly, if you can find a way to make that work more power to you! The only problem I have is that food is like cocaine to me and I can never get enough!!! :grumble:
  • HardeesGal
    HardeesGal Posts: 55
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    My bf isnt supportive at all but i do it myself. I make him plates to eat during the week and than i cook for me healthy stuff. U can do it. U can even eat pizza just limit what u eat.
  • alli674
    alli674 Posts: 3
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    Hi there,
    I can understand where you are coming from...My husband also regardless of his good intentions get in the way of my weight loss goals. I know he is not trying to be mean, or hold me back, but I do think that he just does not understand how difficult a struggle this is. I do think that men loose weight more easily that women and some times they don't get what all the fuss is about.

    Hang in there, take it one day at a time. Explain to your spouse what your goals are, and tell them how they can help you to reach your goals. I think if you sit and have a heart to heart with your hubby, you might surprise yourself at how supportive they can be.

    Good luck let us know how it is going, but hang in and take your weight loss challenge one day at a time.
  • AnnaVee84
    AnnaVee84 Posts: 345 Member
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    My roomie and I will often go out to eat, especially after long days at school/work or when our fridge is getting low stock..There are always healthier options wherever we choose go - whether it's protein style burgers at In-n-Out or egg-white omelets at the diner.

    The hard part is when he takes advantage of the Domino's pizza deal and he orders two pizzas and leaves em on the counter. I usually have drink more water to avoid getting hungry again and then I end up wrapping up all the pizza and putting it in the fridge so it's no longer staring me in the face. ugghghgh but I do yell whenever he leaves a bag of potato chips out haha :explode:


    edit: oops spelling!
  • krstn102109
    krstn102109 Posts: 20 Member
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    Thank you so much to EVERYONE who has responded. You all have so many wonderful and varying suggestions. I am going to try some of them out and figure out what works best for us. I am confident that I will be able to find a workaround that keeps my boyfriend happy while still keeping me from jumping off the bandwagon. Thanks again ladies! (:

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