Trust: Earn it or Give it
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RunningDirty
Posts: 293
Ever have a teacher who started the school year off with all students having 100% and it was up to you to screw it up? I found I worked harder to keep my 100% and it felt better than having to earn up to it.
With trust, do you find you start people off with 100% or make them earn it? I used to trust everyone up front because if I didn't know them then they gave me no reason not to trust them. I trusted my instincts. After my divorce I went through a pretty big phase of not trusting anyone, but that just attracted people who were negative and untrustworthy. So, I'm trying to get back to the give 100% up front again, but it's a little harder than expected.
Just curious how you handle trust: give it or earn it?
With trust, do you find you start people off with 100% or make them earn it? I used to trust everyone up front because if I didn't know them then they gave me no reason not to trust them. I trusted my instincts. After my divorce I went through a pretty big phase of not trusting anyone, but that just attracted people who were negative and untrustworthy. So, I'm trying to get back to the give 100% up front again, but it's a little harder than expected.
Just curious how you handle trust: give it or earn it?
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Better than just break up...I like pictures.0
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Trust is always earned, never given.
Same goes for respect.0 -
trust no one0
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I'm pretty good at picking people out, I'd like to think, but I can be too nice at times.
Lea, for instance, has been in my old Western-style jail for about 6 months. No way I'm letting her out to shoot up the Saloon again. Not with Old Betsy running it. She'd whip my hide.0 -
trust no one
WHO THE HELL ASKED YOU?0 -
trust no one
WHO THE HELL ASKED YOU?
lol0 -
I'm pretty good at picking people out, I'd like to think, but I can be too nice at times.
Lea, for instance, has been in my old Western-style jail for about 6 months. No way I'm letting her out to shoot up the Saloon again. Not with Old Betsy running it. She'd whip my hide.
I choked on my coffee, thanks.0 -
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I'm a give it kinda girl.0
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Start at 50%, at which point more can be gained or lost.
Also, I dig ketchup on Mac & Cheese.0 -
One must buy my trust in installments.0
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Trust is a dish best served cold.0
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Start at 50%, at which point more can be gained or lost.
Also, I dig ketchup on Mac & Cheese.
You just dropped to 25% on my scale. Ketchup is disgusting. Also, mayo.
I'm a mustard person.0 -
Start at 50%, at which point more can be gained or lost.
Also, I dig ketchup on Mac & Cheese.
I'm a mustard person.0 -
Respect is earned.0
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I trust people (irl) after I give them little tests and judge how they respond. Tell them a secret, see if they blow it, etc.0
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Instinct. If my gut tells me to trust them then they get 50% and have to earn the rest.0
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Sadly, we live in a world where one minute a stranger will help you out with a flat tire or maybe lift something heavy into your truck. And the next minute trample you to death to get a deal on a flat screen TV.0
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I trust everyone to be human. Knowing they will make mistakes and bad judgments. I go with the flow and if for some reason a person does something to impact my life negatively I make note of it. Just because someone doesn't follow through on a promise doesn't mean I completely lose trust. If I know a friend is a good listener but is always late I will not trust them to be on time but I will trust that when they do show up they will listen. That goes for the people close in my life. As for strangers I don't trust anyone with my life or to have my best interest in mind. I trust them to be strangers. They don't know me and I don't know them.
If I am paying you to do a job I trust you will do that job. If you don't I will not do business with you anymore.
I guess it all depends on the type of relationship you're talking about.0 -
One must buy my trust in installments.
agreed......You're my new coworker and you wanna borrow $1 or for the vending machine or $5 for lunch....here ya go. You offer to babysit my kid or watch my house while on vacation, no thanks.0 -
Instinct. If my gut tells me to trust them then they get 50% and have to earn the rest.
I trust my instinct as well and 50% seems a little less risky than being completely open to someone you don't quite know yet so this makes perfect sense.0 -
Trust and Mistrust have to be earned. I don't give either to anyone or anything until evidence or behavior presents itself to show what is warranted.0
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I give all strangers an equal amount of trust with a few conditions.
1. If my instincts, at any point, freak out. You lose that trust. For no other reason then I trust my gut.
2. If you start to behave erratically you lose that trust. For no other reason then you're a freak.
3. If you betray my trust when it comes to LITTLE thing (little white lies even), you lose that trust. Those who can't be trusted with little things, can't be trusted with big things.
4. I will NOT extend that trust to others. So while I may give you the benefit of the doubt and may trust your word, I will not vouche for you or encourage others to trust you.
Stranger trust is very limited.
Friend trust is also limited.
You have to become family before I will give you 100% trust.0 -
I always listen to my gut, [and absent good reason to doubt them,] everyone starts at 100%.
No one gets more than one chance.0 -
I tend to trust people and believe what they tell me. However I think since I've started this job (court reporter) I've learned to spot the bullsh!t a little better. I see quite a range of people daily.0
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