Trust: Earn it or Give it

Options
RunningDirty
RunningDirty Posts: 293
edited January 5 in Chit-Chat
Ever have a teacher who started the school year off with all students having 100% and it was up to you to screw it up? I found I worked harder to keep my 100% and it felt better than having to earn up to it.

With trust, do you find you start people off with 100% or make them earn it? I used to trust everyone up front because if I didn't know them then they gave me no reason not to trust them. I trusted my instincts. After my divorce I went through a pretty big phase of not trusting anyone, but that just attracted people who were negative and untrustworthy. So, I'm trying to get back to the give 100% up front again, but it's a little harder than expected.

Just curious how you handle trust: give it or earn it?

Replies

  • Dub_D
    Dub_D Posts: 1,760 Member
    tumblr_me9h1nPwzQ1rakg1r.gif
  • RunningDirty
    RunningDirty Posts: 293
    Better than just break up...I like pictures.
  • DontStopB_Leakin
    DontStopB_Leakin Posts: 3,863 Member
    Trust is always earned, never given.


    Same goes for respect.
  • __F4t2f1t__
    __F4t2f1t__ Posts: 97
    trust no one
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
    I'm pretty good at picking people out, I'd like to think, but I can be too nice at times.

    Lea, for instance, has been in my old Western-style jail for about 6 months. No way I'm letting her out to shoot up the Saloon again. Not with Old Betsy running it. She'd whip my hide.
  • Dub_D
    Dub_D Posts: 1,760 Member
    trust no one

    WHO THE HELL ASKED YOU?
  • __F4t2f1t__
    __F4t2f1t__ Posts: 97
    trust no one

    WHO THE HELL ASKED YOU?

    lol
  • DontStopB_Leakin
    DontStopB_Leakin Posts: 3,863 Member
    I'm pretty good at picking people out, I'd like to think, but I can be too nice at times.

    Lea, for instance, has been in my old Western-style jail for about 6 months. No way I'm letting her out to shoot up the Saloon again. Not with Old Betsy running it. She'd whip my hide.
    *dies*


    I choked on my coffee, thanks.
  • Cranktastic
    Cranktastic Posts: 1,517 Member
    31011491_5233.jpg
  • Windy_
    Windy_ Posts: 1,012 Member
    I'm a give it kinda girl.
  • BritneysStuntDouble
    BritneysStuntDouble Posts: 849 Member
    Start at 50%, at which point more can be gained or lost.

    Also, I dig ketchup on Mac & Cheese.
  • diodelcibo
    diodelcibo Posts: 2,564 Member
    One must buy my trust in installments.
  • cmcollins001
    cmcollins001 Posts: 3,472 Member
    Trust is a dish best served cold.
  • wildcata77
    wildcata77 Posts: 660
    Start at 50%, at which point more can be gained or lost.

    Also, I dig ketchup on Mac & Cheese.

    You just dropped to 25% on my scale. Ketchup is disgusting. Also, mayo.

    I'm a mustard person.
  • BritneysStuntDouble
    BritneysStuntDouble Posts: 849 Member
    Start at 50%, at which point more can be gained or lost.

    Also, I dig ketchup on Mac & Cheese.
    You just dropped to 25% on my scale. Ketchup is disgusting. Also, mayo.

    I'm a mustard person.
    Oh, that's a shame. I don't know how I will ever sleep tonight. :yawn:
  • _the_feniks_
    _the_feniks_ Posts: 3,412 Member
    Respect is earned.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,997 Member
    I trust people (irl) after I give them little tests and judge how they respond. Tell them a secret, see if they blow it, etc.
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,219 Member
    Instinct. If my gut tells me to trust them then they get 50% and have to earn the rest.
  • wolfpack77
    wolfpack77 Posts: 655
    Sadly, we live in a world where one minute a stranger will help you out with a flat tire or maybe lift something heavy into your truck. And the next minute trample you to death to get a deal on a flat screen TV.
  • tracypk
    tracypk Posts: 233 Member
    I trust everyone to be human. Knowing they will make mistakes and bad judgments. I go with the flow and if for some reason a person does something to impact my life negatively I make note of it. Just because someone doesn't follow through on a promise doesn't mean I completely lose trust. If I know a friend is a good listener but is always late I will not trust them to be on time but I will trust that when they do show up they will listen. That goes for the people close in my life. As for strangers I don't trust anyone with my life or to have my best interest in mind. I trust them to be strangers. They don't know me and I don't know them.

    If I am paying you to do a job I trust you will do that job. If you don't I will not do business with you anymore.

    I guess it all depends on the type of relationship you're talking about.
  • Keto_T
    Keto_T Posts: 673 Member
    One must buy my trust in installments.

    agreed......You're my new coworker and you wanna borrow $1 or for the vending machine or $5 for lunch....here ya go. You offer to babysit my kid or watch my house while on vacation, no thanks.
  • RunningDirty
    RunningDirty Posts: 293
    Instinct. If my gut tells me to trust them then they get 50% and have to earn the rest.

    I trust my instinct as well and 50% seems a little less risky than being completely open to someone you don't quite know yet so this makes perfect sense.
  • justal313
    justal313 Posts: 1,375 Member
    Trust and Mistrust have to be earned. I don't give either to anyone or anything until evidence or behavior presents itself to show what is warranted.
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
    I give all strangers an equal amount of trust with a few conditions.

    1. If my instincts, at any point, freak out. You lose that trust. For no other reason then I trust my gut.
    2. If you start to behave erratically you lose that trust. For no other reason then you're a freak.
    3. If you betray my trust when it comes to LITTLE thing (little white lies even), you lose that trust. Those who can't be trusted with little things, can't be trusted with big things.
    4. I will NOT extend that trust to others. So while I may give you the benefit of the doubt and may trust your word, I will not vouche for you or encourage others to trust you.

    Stranger trust is very limited.

    Friend trust is also limited.

    You have to become family before I will give you 100% trust.
  • BurtHuttz
    BurtHuttz Posts: 3,653 Member
    I always listen to my gut, [and absent good reason to doubt them,] everyone starts at 100%.

    No one gets more than one chance.
  • 1shauna1
    1shauna1 Posts: 993 Member
    I tend to trust people and believe what they tell me. However I think since I've started this job (court reporter) I've learned to spot the bullsh!t a little better. I see quite a range of people daily.
This discussion has been closed.

Categories