Late night eating out with hubby

AnnieMontes28
AnnieMontes28 Posts: 11
edited January 5 in Health and Weight Loss
My husband and I usually go out to the movies or to dinner at least once a week. With three kids to take care of as I'm a stay at home mom and my husband working in sales, the break is much needed! We usually like to go out for sushi and get about 4-5 rolls and share them but sometimes he wants to get fried/fast foods and dessert. My weakness is sweets so I usually say "no honey I can't have any but you should", followed by his puppy eyes and him saying "oh, it's just a little come on..." and of course I end up gobbling up everything.
I always feel guilty the next day when I see the calorie count and I kind of start to really feel annoyed with my husband, I know he means well and he thinks he's doing something nice together but for me I just feel like he's kind of sabotaging my hard work.I've been on MFP since September and I lost 20lbs by the end of October but since then I haven't lost a thing, I even went up a couple pounds in November but have finally gotten rid of them. How do I get him to understand that right now, with 50lbs still to go to get to my goal weight, these little food binges are not helping me at all? And what are some other ways we can spend time together without him wanting to snack on junk?

Replies

  • JesterMFP
    JesterMFP Posts: 3,596 Member
    Have you tried sitting down and having a serious conversation with him about it? Not at the time when the food is there, and you're tempted, and he has his own reasons for tempting you, but on another day. Sit down and tell him how important this is to you, and how it would really help you if when you say "no thanks honey" he just leave it at that. It maybe that he's trying to be nice and wants to see you enjoying a treat. It may be that he has his own insecurities and isn't comfortable eating the sweet stuff on his own. In the end, it's your choice whether you eat those things or not, and your responsibility, but obviously it would be a lot easier for you if he was on board with it.
  • sarahharmintx
    sarahharmintx Posts: 868 Member
    You will eventually learn how to treat yourself without going over board.

    My husband never really understood what I was doing until HE started logging every bite, every day. Now he understands that "so what if youre out of calories, just eat it" doesnt help.

    You wont be able to eat perfect every day. Surely with kids, you know that the best laid plans dont always work out. When you get some more time under your belt, you will be able to adapt and be flexible.
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
    Um, cheat meal? Stop beating yourself and your husband up and give yourself a break once a week. Just don't go overboard. It helps and you may find that over time those cravings go away. Besides, you have made a decision to change your behavior and now you're expecting your husband to just up and change too. That takes time. My wife and I took a long time to stop nudging each other into overdoing it. Heck, we still do.
  • mizzie1980
    mizzie1980 Posts: 379 Member
    I'll second having a serious talk with your hubby on some other day when there is no food present. Be sure to point out that, while you love spending the time with him, the guilt you feel after the binge is making it hard for you to just enjoy it. It's possible he thinks he's helping you to have a good time. Or it could be something else, like others have pointed out. (doesn't understand, doesn't think you need to lose weight, feels guilty eating it in front of you/alone, etc) If possible, find out why he is doing that.

    You can also just plan for a cheat meal. Some people eat a little less / work out a little more for a few days before a cheat and bank those calories for later. It's all an average in the end. If you eat 100 calories less the other 6 days, you'd have 600 calories banked!
  • UnoDrea3732
    UnoDrea3732 Posts: 342 Member
    My Husband used to do this to me until we had "the talk". He said that the reason he did it is because he liked to see me happy. I didn't believe him until one day I caught myself singing and dancing about having chinese for dinner. SAD. lol

    I basically sat down with him and explained to him that even though those foods made me "happy", at the time, I continue to struggle with myself everyday because of them. I would rather be happy everyday knowning that I am doing what I need to do to keep the weight off versus being happy at that moment and regretting that MOMENT for days after. I cried a little as well so I'm sure that is what hit home for him. I let him know that I loved him but I could no longer do our "eating out extravaganzas" as often as we were doing them. He could eat whatever he wanted but just know that I am choosing no longer to participate in eating the same things.

    We still have our "date nights" or "moments" but not as often. If I know what we are eating in advance or know that the way I feel that day will effect my eating decisions then I just workout hardcore. That way I don't feel so guilty.

    Good luck!
  • Jul158
    Jul158 Posts: 481 Member
    Change up your date nights to not always center around food..,ice skating, walk in the park, a theater show, anything! Going out to eat is definitely an easier thing to do (my SO and I do it all the time!) but we try to pair it with some sort of activity, too. And, of course, talk with him about your goals & what would make you happiest (healthier options available), that would be the foundation of it.
  • now_or_never12
    now_or_never12 Posts: 849 Member
    Have a talk with your husband about your goals and how you are going about reaching them.

    You can have some of the "unhealthy" foods that he eats. It's not a terrible thing. Have a small portion. Leave some extra calories for those nights. Exercise more that day or the day before to save some extra calories for your little date nights. Practise self control by allowing yourself a small taste and leaving it at that.
  • AnnieMontes28
    AnnieMontes28 Posts: 11
    I really haven't had a sit down talk with him, it's more like the next day I go on MFP and log the food and he'll come over and ask how much was it and when I tell him he just kind of smiles and shrugs and says it's okay, not so bad. I don't think one day a week to have an off day is bad, but I would much rather have the 400 or more extra cals come from healthier sources so I will definitely have to take some time tonight once the little munchkins are down for the count to let him know what I want :) Thank you
  • AnnieMontes28
    AnnieMontes28 Posts: 11
    I'll second having a serious talk with your hubby on some other day when there is no food present. Be sure to point out that, while you love spending the time with him, the guilt you feel after the binge is making it hard for you to just enjoy it. It's possible he thinks he's helping you to have a good time. Or it could be something else, like others have pointed out. (doesn't understand, doesn't think you need to lose weight, feels guilty eating it in front of you/alone, etc) If possible, find out why he is doing that.

    You can also just plan for a cheat meal. Some people eat a little less / work out a little more for a few days before a cheat and bank those calories for later. It's all an average in the end. If you eat 100 calories less the other 6 days, you'd have 600 calories banked!

    I never thought of banking calories, I feel so silly! what a great idea, I know its usually Friday and Sundays that we go out so i could work my calories around those days, thank you!
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