Anyone else with OCD?
explodingalice
Posts: 158 Member
I was just mentioning this in a separate post, and it got me thinking ... with all the people on here, I can't be the only one.
I have OCD. Not the "oh, I'm so OCD, I have to make sure all of my books are lined up by size" kind (not that there's anything wrong with that), but the actual, I've been diagnosed by a physician and have a daily, ongoing struggle with my brain kind of OCD. I was diagnosed 14 years ago, and have tried several meds to varying degrees of success. I currently do not use medications, as all the ones I've tried had a terrible side effect to benefit ratio for me.
This makes using something like MFP very interesting. I log everything. Yesterday I took a sip of a milkshake and found a way to log it. I weigh everything for accuracy. I find that I think about what I am going to eat and my workouts far more than I did when I was obese and eating mindlessly just to eat. And I honestly believe that once I've reached my goal, I will always need to continue to do all of these things, even though I'll be logging maintenance, in order to stay on track. I can't imagine not doing this, it seems like it's become a part of the routine my brain requires in order for me to function.
Obviously, there is a positive side to this, but at the same time it can be a lot to deal with. Compulsions and obsessive thoughts, checking behaviors, counting - all of these can be exhausting and can ultimately inhibit quality of life. I don't feel like that is happening to me with this, and I hope I'll be able to recognize if it does.
So - any other obsessive-compulsives out there? Are we having fun? Want to count something with me???
I have OCD. Not the "oh, I'm so OCD, I have to make sure all of my books are lined up by size" kind (not that there's anything wrong with that), but the actual, I've been diagnosed by a physician and have a daily, ongoing struggle with my brain kind of OCD. I was diagnosed 14 years ago, and have tried several meds to varying degrees of success. I currently do not use medications, as all the ones I've tried had a terrible side effect to benefit ratio for me.
This makes using something like MFP very interesting. I log everything. Yesterday I took a sip of a milkshake and found a way to log it. I weigh everything for accuracy. I find that I think about what I am going to eat and my workouts far more than I did when I was obese and eating mindlessly just to eat. And I honestly believe that once I've reached my goal, I will always need to continue to do all of these things, even though I'll be logging maintenance, in order to stay on track. I can't imagine not doing this, it seems like it's become a part of the routine my brain requires in order for me to function.
Obviously, there is a positive side to this, but at the same time it can be a lot to deal with. Compulsions and obsessive thoughts, checking behaviors, counting - all of these can be exhausting and can ultimately inhibit quality of life. I don't feel like that is happening to me with this, and I hope I'll be able to recognize if it does.
So - any other obsessive-compulsives out there? Are we having fun? Want to count something with me???
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Nobody?
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I was diagnosed at age 8 due to my severe symmetry issues. I take Zoloft now which helps a great deal.0
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I was diagnosed at age 8 due to my severe symmetry issues. I take Zoloft now which helps a great deal.
Glad to know ya!
Zoloft was the first one I tried. I had limited results and the side effects were bad (weight gain that put me at my highest weight ever, and I just felt like I was covered in film - everything was muted).
The best med I've ever taken was clomipramine - I was almost 100% symptom free for a couple of years and so I stayed on it despite the fact that I had almost debilitating dry mouth (I was drinking gallons of water a day, I could not speak without constantly sipping). However, it just stopped working one day, and even upping the dosage didn't help.
I have some symmetry issues as well, though that is minimal and definitely not among my worst issues. Do you find your OCD impacts your weight loss/fitness?0 -
I remember being totally unable to sleep at night because my blanket had to be PERFECT. I'd cry until I passed out every night. Fun times.0
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Ugh. I've been there. Sucks.
However, I'm glad you got diagnosed so young, and hope that it helped you some to know earlier. I was an adult before I found out, and I think of how much better some things would have been had I been receiving treatment. 0 -
Yep, I do. ^.^
Always have, always will - since even when I was little and had to get up and down every five minutes fm the living room to check if my bedroom door was closed and the light was off. Goooooood times.0 -
I was diagnosed at age 8 due to my severe symmetry issues. I take Zoloft now which helps a great deal.
Glad to know ya!
Zoloft was the first one I tried. I had limited results and the side effects were bad (weight gain that put me at my highest weight ever, and I just felt like I was covered in film - everything was muted).
The best med I've ever taken was clomipramine - I was almost 100% symptom free for a couple of years and so I stayed on it despite the fact that I had almost debilitating dry mouth (I was drinking gallons of water a day, I could not speak without constantly sipping). However, it just stopped working one day, and even upping the dosage didn't help.
I have some symmetry issues as well, though that is minimal and definitely not among my worst issues. Do you find your OCD impacts your weight loss/fitness?
OCD does impact in a few ways. First, I also feel stressed about logging food. There's always the nagging feeling that it's been logged wrong. There's also the anxiety that comes along with my OCD, and if I'm panicking I need to take a Xanax which makes exercise that day impossible. I also find the constant nausea (side effect of zoloft) makes it hard to exercise some times.
Sometimes I have to remind myself that a lot of my thoughts aren't normal. One day a friend told me it must be exhausting to live in my brain. I told her she had no idea.
P.S. Sorry to leave but I have a class to go to now. Feel free to friend me though, I don't have any friends who actually understand the feeling of living with OCD.0 -
Sometimes I have to remind myself that a lot of my thoughts aren't normal. One day a friend told me it must be exhausting to live in my brain. I told her she had no idea.
P.S. Sorry to leave but I have a class to go to now. Feel free to friend me though, I don't have any friends who actually understand the feeling of living with OCD.
It *is* exhausting!!! (I've heard that one, too!) I'm also always surprised when people say they are thinking about nothing - how is that even possible???
And I'll definitely go add you! And then I'll double-check to make sure I've actually done so.
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Yep, I do. ^.^
Always have, always will - since even when I was little and had to get up and down every five minutes fm the living room to check if my bedroom door was closed and the light was off. Goooooood times.
Man, I hate checking. I really wish I could make that go away. Some people think it is amusing, but when it takes up tons of your time and you never really feel that anxiety go away, it's just not that funny!0 -
Yep, it has calmed down in the past few years. Only applies to making sure the gym bag is packed and the downstairs lights are off.
Pre-Combat checks in the Army started it.0 -
Yep, it has calmed down in the past few years. Only applies to making sure the gym bag is packed and the downstairs lights are off.
Pre-Combat checks in the Army started it.
That's a valid concern. I'm pretty sure if I got to the gym and hadn't packed my iPod I would die. Or at least my workout would suck, which is almost as bad. 0 -
i don't have OCD, but my hubby does. i never knew how hard it was to live with OCD until i started living with him, and apparently his is much milder than when it was first diagnosed. he also has severe anxiety... his mostly revolves around safety - checking locks, checking taps, checking the stove / oven. he relies on me to tell him when it's "enough". i started MFP in October and have had a lot of success with it, but i've noticed that he's avoiding even looking at it and i think it's because he's scared that if he started he wouldn't be able to stop and it would take over. i think it's awesome that you've had some luck with moderation so far.0
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Yep, I do. ^.^
Always have, always will - since even when I was little and had to get up and down every five minutes fm the living room to check if my bedroom door was closed and the light was off. Goooooood times.
Man, I hate checking. I really wish I could make that go away. Some people think it is amusing, but when it takes up tons of your time and you never really feel that anxiety go away, it's just not that funny!
It's not too bad, once you get used tout. Besides, it shifts to different things.
Being on MFP though, I have to be careful; I'm guessing tracking weight and calories is dangerous territory for us with OCD, and could easily go in the wrong direction.0 -
the cuff on your winter coat you took a picture of yourself in is slightly ruffled....you better go take care of that right now before it eats at you...0
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the cuff on your winter coat you took a picture of yourself in is slightly ruffled....you better go take care of that right now before it eats at you...
I had to go look at that. Not cool, man. 0 -
I was diagnosed when I was 10, but I remember having it when I was much younger. After awhile, it got much milder and kind of just disappeared from there. But even though I don't struggle with it much anymore, I know how it feels.0
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i don't have OCD, but my hubby does. i never knew how hard it was to live with OCD until i started living with him, and apparently his is much milder than when it was first diagnosed. he also has severe anxiety... his mostly revolves around safety - checking locks, checking taps, checking the stove / oven. he relies on me to tell him when it's "enough". i started MFP in October and have had a lot of success with it, but i've noticed that he's avoiding even looking at it and i think it's because he's scared that if he started he wouldn't be able to stop and it would take over. i think it's awesome that you've had some luck with moderation so far.
If it is something he needs to do, I hope he is able to move past the fear and give it a shot. You can tell him that there's obviously some others on here with the same issues, so we can commiserate. And it sounds like you have developed an understanding of what he's dealing with, so he's already got a support system!!!0 -
Not officially. It hasn't gotten to the point where it has significantly impacted my daily routine, so I guess it's very mild or something similar. When I get stressed (usually setting the alarm for Monday morning) I get really worried about making everything perfect. I tend to triple check things or count in threes. I try to be a little sneaky so my husband doesn't tease me. Like instead of pushing buttons on my alarm I'll just stare at the numbers and count. But it still looks fishy when I've been staring at my alarm for a whole minute or two....
How many of you reread your posts at least a couple times before posting it to make sure it was okay? XD Guilty here.0 -
My biggest issue is excessively checking portion sizes on foods. I'll check it several times, measure it out, and then as I'm eating I'll go look at the container or reference guide several more times and continue to do so throughout the day. I know it's a huge waste of time, but when I don't let myself check the anxiety is just too much.0
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I had depression and anxiety disorder induced OCD for a while. I would check our locks up to ten times a night before bed. I am now on Wellbutrin for the depression and it has almost deminished all of my OCD tendencies.0
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How many of you reread your posts at least a couple times before posting it to make sure it was okay? XD Guilty here.
Every.Effing.Time. Sending work emails is a true joy.
And I do the same thing with clocks and stuff.0 -
I've never been diagnosed with OCD (have been diagnosed for anxiety/depression though), but I can relate to some of the feelings you guys have described. The stuff I've experience doesn't sound nearly as intense as some of the earlier posts, though.
I get very irritable about things I know aren't big deals, and I worry myself to death over stuff I know most other people wouldn't think twice about. My co-workers, friends, even my family all think I'm legitimately crazy.:ohwell:
Turning off the stove, leaving for work and then convincing myself that the house has gone up in flames because I really forgot.
Showering up to three times a day because even the slightest feeling of sweat or grime drives me mad.
Constantly obsessing over the fact that anyone I know could die at any time.
All that good stuff :S
I'm seeing a counselor, now, and am actually experiencing these kinds of thoughts less frequently. That would be my biggest peice of advice. I know it's not cheap, but if you get the opportunity, definitely try to see one.0 -
I have been diagnosed with Social Anxiety/Generalized Anxiety and some depression however I do show traits of OCD but have not been diagnosed fully for it. For me it is about being in control, having things kept clean and normally I check things (cannot sleep without the door locked in the morning) and some of my thoughts etc... good on you for sticking with MFP it's not easy but keep it up!
My anxiety literally exhausts me to the point where I am physically and mentally tired so I know how that can be.0 -
never been diagnosed, but have had habits throughout childhood.
My clothes go on in a certain order and right foot/arm goes in first. Door Locks must be re-checked before I go up to bed. Showering also goes in a certain order. I'm also tridecaphobic. Anytime I see that number(even clock numbers that add up to that number) I have to quickly look and find another number to look at. Also, if I'm starting to go down the driveway and that number is on the clock or if I end up dropping my kids off at school, have to wait another minute before continuing. I am afraid that bad things will happen to me. One pocket holds my cards, another one cash, etc.0 -
I don't have OCD but I definitely feel OCD tendencies when it comes to MFP. Of course, not anywhere near as bad as someone diagnosed, but I'll find myself logging every little thing and getting slight anxiety when I think the measurement is wrong. Maybe it's more addiction than OCD, but I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way!0
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Logging calories/macros must be an OCD person's dream - or worst nightmare. I can imagine that it's a fine line between being dedicated, and being truly obsessive.0
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Yep, but for me I also always connect nearly every detail with a life experience or memory, especially numbers. There are good and bad numbers for me. I don't take medicine at the moment either, but I plan to eventually.I was just mentioning this in a separate post, and it got me thinking ... with all the people on here, I can't be the only one.
I have OCD. Not the "oh, I'm so OCD, I have to make sure all of my books are lined up by size" kind (not that there's anything wrong with that), but the actual, I've been diagnosed by a physician and have a daily, ongoing struggle with my brain kind of OCD. I was diagnosed 14 years ago, and have tried several meds to varying degrees of success. I currently do not use medications, as all the ones I've tried had a terrible side effect to benefit ratio for me.
This makes using something like MFP very interesting. I log everything. Yesterday I took a sip of a milkshake and found a way to log it. I weigh everything for accuracy. I find that I think about what I am going to eat and my workouts far more than I did when I was obese and eating mindlessly just to eat. And I honestly believe that once I've reached my goal, I will always need to continue to do all of these things, even though I'll be logging maintenance, in order to stay on track. I can't imagine not doing this, it seems like it's become a part of the routine my brain requires in order for me to function.
Obviously, there is a positive side to this, but at the same time it can be a lot to deal with. Compulsions and obsessive thoughts, checking behaviors, counting - all of these can be exhausting and can ultimately inhibit quality of life. I don't feel like that is happening to me with this, and I hope I'll be able to recognize if it does.
So - any other obsessive-compulsives out there? Are we having fun? Want to count something with me???0 -
I can't stand that! The brain can not possibly, scientifically, think of nothing unless you are totally unconscious!Sometimes I have to remind myself that a lot of my thoughts aren't normal. One day a friend told me it must be exhausting to live in my brain. I told her she had no idea.
P.S. Sorry to leave but I have a class to go to now. Feel free to friend me though, I don't have any friends who actually understand the feeling of living with OCD.
It *is* exhausting!!! (I've heard that one, too!) I'm also always surprised when people say they are thinking about nothing - how is that even possible???
And I'll definitely go add you! And then I'll double-check to make sure I've actually done so.0 -
If you really look at OCD it is based on life experiences and a disease that is based on people's desires and fears to be honest with you. Even when people don't realize it, OCD picks at their biggest peeves, one way or the other, and a lot of us remember things very easily. It may not be that he doesn't want to let things go and move on to enjoy life, but that everything around him connects to those memories in some way. Even how many sips or bites I take in a row remind me of the most horrible experiences and memories of my life and it is not easy to avoid or just ignore it, you know? It is the worst times of my life flashing before my eyes, so just imagine that 40 times per day from any small trigger, the number for the date it was, the color someone's hair was, the weather it was or what you ate the day it happened, making you think about the worst times you knew.edited per request for the poster0 -
Yep, been diagnosed 2 years now.
Mostly picking at skin (like don't want anything on me). Don't like food to touch. Eat one thing at a time. Don't like things that aren't "correct". Proportionate is a big thing for me. There are a lot of things. The worst is how people just assume you have a cleaning disorder. Lol - nope not quite.0
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