Overweight... The new normal !

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Replies

  • briannadunn
    briannadunn Posts: 841 Member
    What a sad thing to have to face. I feel the same way about thinking a person should be what weight you think they should be at..My own family say I should be X amount but for the last 18 yrs, I haven't been X amount because of the crap I got fed as a child and then I didn't know how to eat right. Now I am working my way back down. It is messed up and a way this Country can't afford to go.
  • Katbody10
    Katbody10 Posts: 369 Member
    Our pediatrician mentioned this to us a few years back when we were discussing our older kid's weight. She was on the very low end of the weight scale and we were concerned. His response was basically, look, your kid is fine, its the percentages that are really out of whack; and the real problem is convincing parents that their kids (and they themselves) are overweight. People are so accustomed to seeing so many overweight children that they have forgotten what kids looked like 20, 30 and 40 years ago. The worst part about it is the extreme anger from people when their doctors tell them they, or their kids, are overweight or obese.

    Its like any other problem people have, addiction or otherwise - admitting you have a problem is the first and often hardest step.

    I think that's a really interesting story. I have noticed a lot of people get EXTREMELY upset if a doctor tells them they are overweight/obese. There is a disconnect between being called fat as an insult and the medical definition of 'overweight.' I think lots of people can't tell the difference between them. I don't appreciate being called fat either, but it's never bothered me when a doctor has mentioned the need for me to lose. I think a lot of people seriously internalized all the self-esteem boosting "we're all winners", "I'm ok, you're ok, we're all PERFECT JUST THE WAY WE ARE" messages that have been put out there for years and years.

    edited to add: I don't mean that overweight/obese people are defective as people, by the way. I know you can be fat and still be an awesome person (my dad struggled all his life). I just mean that the self-esteem boosting messages make it easy sometimes to ignore the very real health risks of continuing the habits that make you fat.


    Very well said!! I agree with this :heart: :flowerforyou:
  • Thanks for note back so quickly! I just feel sort of bamboozled by the glee of over those years finally finding clothes to wear for special occasions. It was hard in the beginning of being adult, married, pregnant, then not,, then pregnant, then not, then preg, then not, then pregnant for the final time. I was a yo-yo. It started up and creeped. Until I was a size 22! I was thinking this winter and early spring that I'd have a heart attack or something awful. My right knee with osteoarthritis went out this August. I was using a knee brace for two months. As I lost more weight, I began to feel so much better. Now I am 44 lbs less. My right knee feels very good, not healed, not normal, but so much better. I think alot of the health problems of Americans are related to being overweight. I really feel sorry for children who are obese. It puts them at such a disadvantage playing. How can they enjoy themselves with friends if they cannot run, play tag, climb a tree or explore a wildplace/park?
  • SpecialSundae
    SpecialSundae Posts: 795 Member
    There seems to have been a fairly dramatic change in body shapes over the past few decades. I'm not really sure when it happened and it's not only fat people who have the different shape. I don't think that being fat is good and I know that as a society we need to get healthier, but I think there's more going on than just weight change.
  • over here in the UK, we are beginning to see a similar phenomenon. There is a worrying tactic seen in clothes stores called "vanity sizing". You try on a pair of trousers and are surprised that you can fit into them given that they are a certain waist size. You then go home, measure your waist and find a large disparity between your actual size and the size that your trousers/dress/blouse etc is meant to be. We Brits are getting larger and our department stores are not helping. I am a doctor and I get tired of people telling me that they aren't overweight or don't eat too much when they clearly do. There is an increasing need for special hospital trolleys, beds and ambulance stretchers to accommodate the grossly overweight. We find ourselves sending patients to the local zoo because out scanners cannot tolerate their weight. BMI is a useful indicator to point you in the right direction. On my one and only trip to the US, I was genuinely appalled by the large number of morbidly obese adults and children in the street. As for the gorging that went on in restaurants, it made me feel ill. Can we not exercise any self restraint. If your gut is hanging over your trousers, then you're overweight!!!
  • fittocycle
    fittocycle Posts: 827 Member
    I've noticed this as well. I'm right in the middle of my BMI but some people have commented that I looked too thin. Interestingly enough, all those people were overweight. It seems that people forget what a normal size looks like because so many people are larger than what they should be.

    Have you noticed how furniture has grown as well? Couches and chairs are much larger than they were years ago. If you look at antique furniture, you can really see the difference! I find it amusing that as a population we have more "padding" than ever and yet mattresses have now have pillow tops to make us comfortable!:laugh:
  • **eye roll**
  • DebbieLyn63
    DebbieLyn63 Posts: 2,654 Member
    I have to agree. As a senior in HS in 1980, I was 5'6" and around 120 pounds, which was heavier than many of the girls my age. I wore a size 5/7 jean then, which is now the equivalent of a size 0/2. Women who weighed over 200 pounds were unheard of back then, and they certainly couldn't buy clothes in the regular stores. I would never have imagined myself ever getting that 'huge'. But here I am 30 years later, thrilled to be down to 200 after 3 months on here.
    Out in the real world where I live, (Texas) I am actually smaller than the average middle aged woman. The Womens/Plus size sections are the largest department in many stores now. All the 'accommodating' that society has done over the past 20+ years has just made it so much easier to let ourselves get larger and larger.

    I remember a McDonalds commercial back in the 70s where you could buy a hamburger, fries and drink for under $1. It showed a grown man ordering the meal and getting change back from his dollar. That meal is now the small Happy meal, meant for 2-3 yr olds.
    Our idea of a 'normal' daily calorie amount has been grossly distorted.

    A man I used to work with that weighed around 400 pounds at 28 yrs old, broke a stadium seat at a pro basketball game and sued the team for 'emotional distress', and was awarded over $80k. There is something seriously messed up with that.

    I am hoping that the obesity epidemic and rise of Type 2 Diabetes hitting younger and younger, will be a wake up call for more people to make a change.

    I don't want the media and activists today telling me to 'love myself' the size that I am! I can love myself without loving the unhealthy size of my body.
  • NCchar130
    NCchar130 Posts: 955 Member
    I don't want the media and activists today telling me to 'love myself' the size that I am! I can love myself without loving the unhealthy size of my body.

    I SO agree with this. To anyone who has tried to encourage me (I guess) this way since I started losing weight (SW 217 lbs, 5'6") by telling me to love myself and not worry so much, I respond, "I love myself too much NOT to lose the weight!"
  • DebbieLyn63
    DebbieLyn63 Posts: 2,654 Member
    I too have noticed the sizes are upped in the past decades. I used to shop for a size 14 which would be it. No larger size available. Suddenly about 15 yrs ago, size 16 and 18 began to show up. I would shop for a special occasion dress and find those sizes. Which made my shopping easier for sure. However, this did allow me to size up myself. Get fat in other words. Way too fat. I've lost 44 lbs so far and am only halfway to goal. I have one person call me 'tall and slim' which I have not been called for maybe fifteen years or more. I was flattered. Makes one consider that I am moving downwards on the scale and upwards in self-respect and motivation.

    Yep, also a UK size 14 from 20 years ago is now a UK size 12, vanity sizing. Shoe sizes are just as bad.

    I still have a pair of Calvin Klein jeans from 1982 that are a size 10. The waist measures 27". I wore them when I weighed 130 pounds. They are the same size as a pair of my daughter's size 4 American Eagle jeans.
  • eatathome
    eatathome Posts: 81 Member
    Wow, more fat-bashing (particularly of women) on MFP. I really wish I could hide the forums on my sidebar and just use the calorie/exercise counter on this thing without witnessing this trainwreck.
  • Melwillbehealthy
    Melwillbehealthy Posts: 894 Member
    You've hit the nail right on the head. Thank you for your post. This is a major reason that I've let myself get very fat. I still can feel fairly comfortable in other's company, as it seems much more acceptable to be fat now. I can still buy 'cute' clothes. Even 10 years ago, it wasn't this way. I want to lose weight. I want to get healthy and feel energetic, but sometimes I let society's acceptance make me lazy. Glad to hear this wierd phenomen voiced out loud.
  • LisaLouisiana
    LisaLouisiana Posts: 145 Member
    I ran into an old boyfriend and he told me he was glad to see I hadn't let myself go.....and I probably weighed 210 at the time (and I'm 5'7.5".) ????

    Then an older woman I know told me I was "drawn" at just under 200 pounds.

    Now I'm 175 and really, compared to the "average" woman, including those younger and older than me, I am "light."

    I still have a ways to go. I want to be fit and healthy and I'll know how much I weigh when I get there. I have no idea what I should weigh, but I do know that 159 is the top of the healthy range for me. Luckily, I'm pretty good at tuning most people out.
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
    Wow, more fat-bashing (particularly of women) on MFP. I really wish I could hide the forums on my sidebar and just use the calorie/exercise counter on this thing without witnessing this trainwreck.

    This is exactly what I was thinking. It's so sad.
  • tetecia
    tetecia Posts: 75 Member
    I myself am relatively young compared to a lot of people that are on here (i'm 27 y/o) and i admit i am petite and rather small/slim. I'm not on here to loose weight, just to eat and live a healthier life. Anyways, i've noticed a lot over the years, especially going back 15 years when i was junior high. The children now a days are heavier than they were when i was a child, there are children at my kids school whom are larger than i am. There is something rather unsettling i get from this. I like that we want everybody to love themselves, but what we're not realizing is that sitting at an unhealthy weight, be it over or under weight; is not good for us or for a society for that matter. This isn't about fat bashing, it's about being up right and honest. Especially here in the States the average has been becoming heavier and heavier irregardless of how small of an actress hollywood wants to throw in a movie. When the average woman in America is 5'5" and weighing in at 200+ lbs, that's not healthy and although it may be the norm; it's not good. It's not about Fat-Bashing as some people like the think. It's about honesty and how people need to learn to take care of themselves. The amount of food per a serving in American eateries is ridiculous compared to what we should be eating and people wonder why we as a nation have gotten larger.
  • Aviva92
    Aviva92 Posts: 2,333 Member
    I live in Manhattan where the norm is to be fit and in shape, so I haven't really seen this happen.

    Also, I couldn't fool myself into thinking I'm skinny for very long because I have naturally big hips that got me close to plus-sized when I was 5 pounds away from overweight according to BMI.
  • sapf
    sapf Posts: 146 Member
    I live in Manhattan where the norm is to be fit and in shape, so I haven't really seen this happen.

    Also, I couldn't fool myself into thinking I'm skinny for very long because I have naturally big hips that got me close to plus-sized when I was 5 pounds away from overweight.

    Agreed -- also from NYC. Most people here stay relatively thin compared to the suburbs. Whenever I go home to my parents in suburbia I'm a little shocked by how large people are!
  • flatblade
    flatblade Posts: 224 Member
    Americans are too fat, no doubt. According to the WHO, I am listed as obese after losing 67 pounds. I think that is incorrect, but I have checked the charts and when I get to "normal weight", it shows that to be at the 32nd percentile. This means that 2/3 of all Americans are overweight and fully a third are obese.

    Overall, I might quibble where the dividing lines are, but most adults can and should lose some weight. I don't see much of people ripping people for being underweight, but I do think we see a heavier weight as being normal.
  • sevsmom
    sevsmom Posts: 1,172 Member
    My hubby and I both lost 30-35 lbs this year. That put us both comfortably in our healthy weight ranges. But, from people's reactions, you'd swear we were rail thin and in need of intervention or something. Crazy! But when you consider 2/3 of American adults are overweight or obese, is it any wonder our eyes see "healthy" weight as "skinny"??? If the majority of people around you on any given day are large, your eyes start to see large as normal. . .

    Thankfully, as of now, my hubby, myself and all 5 of our kids are squarely in the healthy weight range. We have tried to model good food choices and now better activity choices for our kids. I hope they have healthful, "skinny" adult lives!
  • meggonkgonk
    meggonkgonk Posts: 2,066 Member
    Yeah! The best way to make yourselves feel good is to judge others! TOTALLY SWEET.

    Maybe the solution isn't a collective decision about what a "normal" body is and just shutting the hell up about other people's bodies altogether. How others look isn't any of your business and how you look isn't any of theirs.
  • pkw58
    pkw58 Posts: 2,038 Member
    I agree that Americans are too fat, and I was one of them and it certainly is deemed acceptable at a restaurant to eat 2000 calories at one meal.

    I am in at a healthy BMI (20%) but have been getting "those" comments. Just because I watch what I eat and how much I exercise now since I hit goal just means I don't want to be overweight again.

    I think suburbs = reduced easy reasons to walk more.

    Another thing. Seriously, riding people for not eating? Why do people think this is acceptable? I don't ride people for their 2000 calorie lunch...
  • Totally agree! It's too acceptable to be over weight these days, when people find out I'm trying to lose weight I've been told 'but why, there's nothing to lose' when actually my BMI is 25.7 so I am overweight just not as over weight as the average joe, not good! Grateful to my dad who tells me I could do with losing a few pounds! We all need that person in our lives! I think it's even worse to see young children over weight as they only eat what they're given and exercise when they're given the chance :-$ it's not a good sign for future generations
  • idream2bgwen
    idream2bgwen Posts: 424 Member
    I couldn't agree more! And people are always bashing the BMI scale as inaccurate but for the vast majority of the population it is accurate. I am 5'10" and BMI says I should be between 124-174. That is a 50lbs range to allow for various body types and muscle mass. I weighed 145lbs as a teen/young adult and my doctor felt that was underweight due to my body type (I was a pear and you could count my ribs). He felt I needed to put on 15-20lbs. So 160-165lbs for my body type. I'm aiming for 170lbs now (I am more hourglass shaped now). I still think BMI is a good guideline if you aren't a bodybuilder or a pro athlete. I'm 195lbs now and everyone goes on about how thin I am and I shouldn't lose more... at 195lbs!! I've still got fat in places it shouldn't be but the new norm makes everyone see me as skinny when I'm still 21lbs overweight.

    I am a tall girl as well and people say the same thing. I am 6'0" and 195 and I tell people I want to lose about 15 more pounds putting me at 180 and that is the very top of "healthy" and people tell me that I can't possibly lose 15 more pounds. I am just right now and possibly too skinny is what I hear. I think it's crazy. Our society has gotten completely out of control on eating, portions, no will power and everything else! I hope that by eating healthier I am teaching my children a little bit differently.
  • BonnieandClyde29
    BonnieandClyde29 Posts: 1,026 Member
    I completely agree!!!
    I remember a cartoon movie a few years ago called "WALL-E." The future people were so fat they had to ride around on vehicles to get around. That was 2008. I took that as a serious sign as to what we're becoming. Not just a laugh fest at the movies.
  • alladream
    alladream Posts: 261 Member
    It's really too bad--we moved to NJ this week, and when you go out to eat, the portions are enormous (as in, I took home giant doggie bags from two restaurants, divided the leftovers into four meals, and ate them all week as actual meals), and many of the people are very unhealthy-looking, and everyone except us was packing down whole bottles of wine per person in addition to giant meals. It adds up, especially when there seem to be not that many people exercising that I see. It is a good inspiration for me not to get fatfat again--
  • gauchogirl
    gauchogirl Posts: 467 Member
    Had a similar thought this week. I was at my daughter's middle school concert and noticed the same thing (the majority of all the women 35ish-55ish being obese, not just overweight.) It just stood out to me, how few "healthy weight" people I saw. I'm not in that group yet (healthy weight), but working towards it. Just found it odd.

    ETA: I don't think the OP was bashing OR judging. Just seemed observational. She isn't the first person to realize that americans ARE too fat. Obviously not saying everyone is, but a large proportion are. That's not judgement, it's fact if you look around.
  • DannyMussels
    DannyMussels Posts: 1,842 Member
    I'm in my early 40's and I noticed that pretty much 80% of the over 30's mums there were either overweight or morbidly obese.


    In my small town, I've said for awhile, once girls hit about 25, they seem to gain 30-50 extra pounds, and I agree about the 80%.

    I too gained much more in college, but also lost it all. I have a feeling moving on, eating away at school, and settling into a life of their own have a huge impact on this.

    Fortunately my gf has a kid and weighs less than she did before. And she's started weight training.

    Having a child is a poor excuse for your body going under.

    Semi-related, I know a guy I played volleyball with we called 'Mango' (like the corky romano guy from SNL)...who gained more weight when his wife got pregnant than she did.

    ;)
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
    Men, women, it doesn't matter, and this thread hardly seems like bashing as much as it does observation about societal trends. And let's be honest, men are just as prone to becoming obese as women.

    Most of the people commenting on this thread happen to be women, so of course they make comments from a woman's perspective with respect to the size of women. It isn't bashing to view it from the perspective of a woman and notice that women are bigger than in past generations. As for complaining that "average" on a dating site means someone is 20-30 pounds overweight, I don't have to go on any particular site to make an educated guess that men do exactly the same thing. I would be willing to guess that men are even more likely to claim they're athletic when they aren't anywhere close to athletic. It isn't bashing to note this is a trend.

    Isn't the whole reason most of us are on this site to better ourselves, lose weight, tone up, get healthier and go against what has become a societal move toward obesity? I'm not obese anymore, but it was hard work....serious hard work....and I've got a long way to go to get to the level of fitness I want. But when I was overweight, I was convinced I wasn't. It wasn't until a doctor told me I was that it really hit home. And even then I didn't do anything about it. Doing something took a couple more years.
  • mdamrow
    mdamrow Posts: 92 Member
    I'm one of those overweight moms who let themselves go....it's not like I woke up one morning and decided I wanted to be fat. It compounded over years of not understanding my body and how to eat for it. I'm not trying to make excuses for myself, I just don't think we teach the right stuff. Do you know that the high school health unit covers very little about body weight and healthy eating? I don't even think they talk about it in middle school? There is way more to being healthy then knowing your BMI, yep that's about all they teach in the state I live in. So sad!!!! So no wonder we have an obese society. However, I do agree that when you look around, any where, there are a lot of obese people and it's so sad that we have to put each other down to make ourselves feel better!

    Hey, on a brighter note we are all on MFP for the same reason to make a change and we can only control what we do. So next time you see an obese person or a fit person let's all have encouraging words to say.
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
    How others look isn't any of your business and how you look isn't any of theirs.

    Q4T.

    The bashing comes from the idea that people who are fat should somehow be excluded from this "Love yourself the way you are" idea because they're fat.

    No. Fat people need to love themselves the way they are, or else they won't manage to make any sustainable change. What change they will make will be funneled through forms of self-hate and deprivation and will only makes things worse.

    Everyone needs to love themselves. Fat. Skinny. Old. Young. Absolutely everyone. Loving yourself at your body type doesn't mean you don't want to improve - it means you do not hate yourself. And that is GOOD. No one should hate themselves.

    Anyone who claims that fat people shouldn't love themselves for who they are (even their bodies) is just promoting unhealthy attitudes about weight, self-love, and being (unintentional as it may be) cruel.