Discouraged :(

Where do I begin.... I have had my weight issues my ENTIRE life! To say that I have tried everthing really wouldn't be completely true.. I have major issues with following through with things. I have started and stopped more diets in my life than anyone I know. I get so easily discouraged when I feel like I work so hard and dont see results. I have only been back at trying to lose weight again for 3 weeks and my scale has gone up and down more than any rollercoaster ride I have ever rode. I have used mfp previously and lost 20 pounds then fell off the wagon and gained that 20 pounds back and then some. What was supposed to be a 50 pound weigh loss journey has turned into a 90 pound weight loss journey! I have such low self esteem and feel so unattractive that it is horrible. I feel like such a cow... I know that this sounds like a pitty party and there are people with more weight to lose than me, but i am so unhappy in myself that it is sickening. I know this isnt something that will be easy and I don't expect it to, but i believe that having support from you will help me....

Replies

  • ericadawn92
    ericadawn92 Posts: 346 Member
    well, first of all, based on your profile pic I really do think that you are very beautiful! so don't feel so down on yourself! :)

    second, I think that a huge part of helping you follow through with things will be believing that you CAN make a change...even if you don't see results immediately! and something I have to keep reminding myself is -- even if I have a bad day, or even a bad week or month, it doesn't mean I have to give up! there is no reason to not just keep pushing forward and getting healthier. because it is worth it! :) not only will you lose weight on the outside, living a healthier lifestyle will just help you to feel better on the inside, give you more energy, just in general make your body happier :)

    and maybe like me you'll realize that exercising is a great stress-reliever!

    also, as far as your weight fluctuating a lot in the past few weeks, have you been weighing yourself at the same time of day, in the same conditions, every time? cause that makes a HUGE difference. just choose a time of day to weigh yourself each time and that will give you better comparisons :) for me, i only weigh myself right away in the morning before i've eaten anything or worked out or whatever.

    and finally, feel free to add me as a friend on here! i'd love to encourage you!
  • Helen_Luvnlife
    Helen_Luvnlife Posts: 230 Member
    I totally understand how you are feeling. I have been there many times. I lose then get discouraged and quit. Gain it All back plus more. This has gone on for years. I was totally disgusted with myself. I'm not sure I can tell you why this time is different. But I dug down deep inside for all my strength and knew I had to do it this time for my self respect and my health. I have found MFP works. It is a great support system and the plan works. You just have to be dedicated and log every bite you take. Add me as a friend if you would like.
  • nmglay
    nmglay Posts: 69
    Your story sounds all too familiar. My story is very much the same. Maybe we could be friends and help each other through the difficult times and cheer for each other during the good times! I know we'll be doing more cheering than anything else! Send me a friend request if you want a friend.
  • cajunchicla2
    cajunchicla2 Posts: 30 Member
    Thanks so much ladies! I am very discouraged for some reason right now... i feel so ugly and fat that it is so horrible. I am taking baby steps though because I know that if I don't change my thinking and my ways my children will follow in my foot steps and that is the last thing I want. I do weigh every morning before I do anything! I think I may start waiting and only weighing once a week because that is a major reason I am so discouraged right now! Thanks so much for your kind words! Looking forward to taking this journey with you all!
  • WildAngelJoy
    WildAngelJoy Posts: 140 Member
    Don't be so hard on yourself with negative thoughts, Hon...I know from experience that negativity brings more negativity. We may look in the mirror and not like some things we see but we are tougher on ourselves than others would be on us and the things we don't like we can change. I agree that from your profile pic you are pretty...a beautiful face and smile :)

    I also hate the "D" word (diet)...it is so restricting, we say we are on a diet and then we want to eat beccause we know the food is restricted. Also on diets, we eat less then when we go off them the weight comes back on as we naturally eat more. I think the idea of a healthy lifestyle change is better...eating healthy and exercising regularly should be on-going the rest of our lives. Yes, it is diffiult to break habits at first bu, t as time goes on, we feel and see the benefits and it is addicting!!

    When I started on here, I hit a plateu after losing only 2 lbs and was so depressed. I was eating right and exercising and nothing was happening, everyone else was losing lbs. My MFP friends motivated me to keep doing what I was doing...the palteau broke and i lost 7 lbs. Unfortunately, I got really sick and gained it on due to inactivity (per doctor's orders) for 3 months and medications. So I'm starting over but looking forward to it.

    Feel free to add me, I'd love to help motivate you and we can share our journeys to a more healthy life together. Blessings...Joy
  • assassin_86
    assassin_86 Posts: 9 Member
    I understand how it feels to start on this weight loss journey and see some results and then gain it all back. Please, don't be discouraged or feel bad about yourself. I can see from your picture that you are beautiful. We all have our setbacks but you just have to keep going. Don't give up! No matter how hard it seems or if the scale just isn't in your favor that day, Keep Going!!!! Best of Luck to you.
  • Hi I am new to this community. I too have struggled with my weight my whole life. I gained about 20 lbs during and after nursing school, and I already had a BMI>30 to begin with. I came upon this video on Pinterest and it has changed my life. It is a documentary about juicing created by this Aussie fellow who had a lot of weight loss with juicing and he went on a roadtrip throughout the US to share his story. The free documentary can be accessed online at www.fatsickandnearlydead.com/. Don't be put off by the title, that's really what it is called! One of my FB friends posted some information about juicing by this juicing guru/life coach named Drew Canole. I became a fan of his FB page called "Juicing Vegetables." I also added him on Pinterest for that extra all-around motivation.

    Now, I need to add that I haven't done a "reset," but I have supplemented my diet and replaced some meals with juiced concoctions. I also have to add that I never really ate enough fruits and vegetables. I'm kind of a carnivore! I won't eat 10 carrots, or 1 for that matter, but I'll drink the juice of a dozen carrots. I also am not fond of apples, but I'll drink the juice of 3 apples in one sitting. Incorporating juicing into my life has given me incredible amounts of energy. I was able to kick my 3 espresso a day habit! It's easier to get up and move when you're not weighed down and feeling tired and sluggish. I am also proud to say that I have lost about 22 lbs since I started juicing this summer. I still eat meals. I LOVE to cook, eat, savor flavors, and go out to dinner with loved ones. I enjoy food. But I think now, I am more cognizant of what and how much I eat. I have also switched my "Live to Eat" attitude to "Eat to Live."

    Whether you choose to adopt the juicing or not, the documentary and the life coach are pretty inspirational. Look up Drew Canole on FB and Pinterest or Google. He's got a lot of great tips and very easy on the eyes!!! Good luck!
  • FameorShame
    FameorShame Posts: 2 Member
    I know whatyou mean I get easily discouraged myself. I finally realized I need to NOT weigh myself every day. Too hard on my self esteem. Just monitor your calories, exersize and you will get there. Give yourself time. It took a long time to gain and it will take time to lose. Just concentrate on feeling stronger and proud of healthier choices. Hope that helps. HUGS!!!
  • This sounds just like me! I have decided to make today the day I make the change to my life. I'm going to try and look forward not back and forget about failed past attempts to lose weight! I have sent you a friend request and hopefully we can support each other......
  • Everyone needs support. I am sure people here can echo some, if not all of your experiences. Do keep your spirits up, you are doing better than you think!
  • Quite right - look forward - never look back.
  • Poniesarepretty
    Poniesarepretty Posts: 77 Member
    You sound just like me! I am having the same issue, was doing well this time after finding an exercise routine that really worked for me. Then my Dad died and for the last three weeks i have been depressed and eating everything in sight. I need support as well and this is why i love MFP, we can have as much support as we need. Best of luck to you and friend me if you want.
  • I too, am in the same boat and believe me it is so hard to lift yourself up after feeling this horrible. Maybe you can send a friend request so we can help eachother get through this!
  • xSakura
    xSakura Posts: 288 Member
    I have the same problem as you :frown: If it wasn't for the constant support most people on here are giving me, I'd have given up a long time ago. I try my very best to stay positive all the time and do the best I can.

    I've lost a stone since September (reset my tracker in October due to starting meds) and I think that's great for what I do :smile: I simply walk as much as I can, and use my exercise bike a few days a week. I always stay under my calories by eating a range of things, I believe moderation is the key!

    Feel free to add me if you need some support, I'm on every day :flowerforyou:
  • MsDover
    MsDover Posts: 395 Member
    As corny as it may sound, that old diet guru Richard Simmons had it right when he said it isn't a "diet", its a "Live-it"!

    I think the biggest obstacle any of us puts up for ourselves is when we say "I can never eat (blank) again". The first time you slip up and eat whatever that/those foods you have restricted yourself from you feel like you've totally failed so why bother continuing and you've now set yourself up for a major failure. You decide it's futile and you console yourself in even more food. Be gentle with yourself! Be kind and understanding with the person you are! KNOW that you will slip up from time to time, but that is not a reason to collapse in utter defeat! Pick yourself up and dust yourself off and stay on course! Don't say no more candy bars EVER. Say instead, I'll have one fun size bar once in a while and log those calories just the same. Whatever your trigger foods might be, allow an occasional small indulgence, otherwise you'll find yourself wallowing in mountains of it and feeling like a total failure. You are NOT a failure! You've just veered off course. It's a journey of a lifetime. Live it!
  • Debbe2
    Debbe2 Posts: 2,071 Member
    Honey, try to stop beating yourself up over past choices. Let the past be just that past, over and done with. Now move forward by identifying what you want to accomplish and WHY you want to do it. Start today and keep moving forward towards the goal you've identified and think of WHY you need to get this done when times get tough. It won't be a perfect journey because this is real life and because you are human. But that's ok. Give yourself a break and lots of forgiveness. Love yourself and be kind and accepting to yourself. This is what it will take to get it done along with persistence... In other words stick to it and get it done no matter how hard or long it will take. Be committed to yourself and your goals. Good luck!
  • 1258936
    1258936 Posts: 115 Member
    Don't let yourself be a slave to the scale! Your body weight can change as much as 5 lbs over the course of a day due to water weight alone! Do restrict the amount of times you weigh yourself. I recommend first thing in the morning, naked x1/week. Record other measurements! They will give you a better picture of what is going on with your body than just a scale can. Once a month after that first thing morning weigh in take measurements of everything. Neck, bust, waist, hips, wrists, thighs, ankles. Then use those measurements to calculate your BMI and body fat percentage. (Google it, you'll find many sites with a calculator for it) Write it all down. Take 3 sets of pics in the same clothing (I did it in my underwear & bra) - front, side, and back. I have my progress pics in a hidden file on my laptop so no one but me can see them! The first time is hard, seeing those numbers really depressed me. BUT the second time I did the happy dance all day long. I know it's hard, but seeing the progress you are making in these numbers and pics the next month you do it will be totally worth it. Quantify all your hard work and discipline.
    We see ourselves everyday, and we see ourselves through the veil of our own self esteem. It distorts us, we allow our emotions to change our perspective. But the camera doesn't lie. When I put my month to month pics side by side, I can see clearly where changes have occurred. So even though I don't feel like I've lost 35 pounds since my highest weight, I can clearly see it in my monthly pics, It helps keep my focus and determination to do better, to keep trying, even when I stumble, even if I fail.
    Remember, your body can't metabolize 5 lbs. of fat in one day alone. Weigh a glass of water. When you drink that water it adds that weight to your body, but it's not fat. Body weight is comprised of many things, not just fat. When you eat your food, it does the same thing. The body needs time to process food, it's not immediate, and it doesn't all get turned to fat. It takes 12-36 hours for the food to be processed and excreted.
    That's why it's important to take other measurements to quantify your weight loss. I know it sounds like a lot of work, but once you set up the process, it's easier every time after. Good luck, and remember, you can do anything you believe you can! (within in laws of physics, of course)
  • I'm right where you are now, discouraged, but I'm also feeling hopeful. For the first time in a long time, I finally realized I am the one who can control what I eat and if I exercise. No one is forcing me to eat junk food and sit on my butt. I decide if I'm going to let a bad day or a nasty person affect my diet. I'm not saying everyday is a dream come true. I'm an emotional eater, and I've only lost a few pounds since my start almost 4 weeks ago, but I'm feeling better and looking at food in a new way. I've had good days and really bad days, but every morning, I log in and think positive about my day. My only problem is motivating myself to exercise.

    I know it's hard. I know how it is to look in the mirror and struggle to see something postitive. The negativity is there, beating us down....so why do we hurt ourselves with words we would never tolerate from another person?

    Feel free to add me as a friend. We can encourage each other!
  • Ramshots
    Ramshots Posts: 13 Member
    Unless you posted a picture of someone else in your profile pic, you are indeed beautiful. I've discovered losing weight is not a process that starts then stops. You have to make it a lifestyle change to eat correctly so it becomes a habit where you don't struggle with that choice every meal or snack. I know it's easier said than done but you need to decide if your worth the effort. I think you are and I'm sure there are people in your life that think you are. You need to decide that you are and I encourage you to do so. Don't wait till you get as far down that road as me because it's a looooong way back.
  • cajunchicla2
    cajunchicla2 Posts: 30 Member
    Wow! I am so overwhelmed and encouraged by all of you. It really is good to know that I am not alone! I do feel a little better today, not about myself, but about the decision to make myself healthy. I truly am so thankful for your words of encouragement and your advice. I am so glad that I feel like I have a great group of friends to share this journey with and to be encouraged by! Thanks again and I hope you have a great day!
  • leelaa
    leelaa Posts: 33
    .Just last week I was feeling like that too, very down on myself. I decided to get serious this time and added some friends and it really does help. I really watch what I eat more often now knowing I am going to record every bit of it and that other people besides me are going to see it too. I think having friends on here is a very important part to weight loss on this sight. They really understand and are very encouraging. If you don't have any friends here yet, add some and I know you can do this and you will start feeling better.
  • Smokey19
    Smokey19 Posts: 796 Member
    I have been heavy my entire life also and suffer from a poor self-esteem and major depression. I am in counseling and that has helped. I feel like everyone is staring when I walk in the room and whispering about my weight. Losing wt. has helped but I, too, get so discouraged when the scale doesn't move. We can do this together. Please feel free to add me.