Step One...

FairyMomma408
FairyMomma408 Posts: 41
in Introduce Yourself
Hi everybody....I think I just spent the last hour crying out my anger, depression, and self-loathing. 3 years ago I was 129 lbs.......when I went in to the hospital to give birth to my son 2 years ago....I weighed 162....I lost 15 lbs in that first month just from him and nursing. I now weigh 167 lbs.
I most definitely cannot say this is baby weight.
Took a shower......saw my naked reflection in the mirror again......and I lost it.

I've always had body-image issues....when I was in high school I weighed around 130 lbs. My father would pinch my hips to tell me I needed to lose weight. Its gotten so bad I've started fantasizing about vomiting.....and that's bad for me.

This is my first step.....I need a support, somewhere to talk about my weight without the "You look great, what are you talking about." that I get from everyone.....I know they mean well but its not helping.

Wow this was a sad introduction....sorry...uh. I'm a 25 year old art student and mom of a 2 year old ADORABLE boy....I have an amazing fiance who I love and he loves me........If I could just love myself too that would be perfect :)

Replies

  • fight_for_fit
    fight_for_fit Posts: 137
    Aww! Its okay I'm sure most of if not all of us have gone through the "self-loathing" and not being happy with our bodies!.
    I completely know where you're coming from though I hate hate hate when people are like "omg you're gorgeous, you don't need to change, you're perfect the way you are"....
    I mean C'mon lets be real... you and I both know that's not whats we both actually think.

    Anyways! I'll be more than happy to support you in any way that I can! :)
  • kdeaux1959
    kdeaux1959 Posts: 2,675 Member
    Fanticizing about vomiting is bad for anyone. Absolutely, it is time to take action but to do so in a healthy and sensible way. By all means you need support as all of us do from time to time and MFP is a great place for that support. My recommendations are: 1. Determine your goal weight... It should be within your healthy goal range. 2. Develop a plan that includes diet and exercise. 3. Extremes are bad... Either too aggressive weight loss attmpts or insufficient ones... 4. Make sure your plan includes both exercise and diet. Plan for a 1-2 lb loss. I personally think that both resistance (weight) and aerobic exercise are helpful to tone and make for a more healthy appearance and lifestyle. 5. Work the plan and evaluate your progress regularly. Clothes size is a better indicator of progress (especially when weights are used) than the scale. Best wishes on your journey.
  • FairyMomma408
    FairyMomma408 Posts: 41
    Thank you both of you :) I'm hoping after this week (finals week) I'll be able to concentrate on having a fitness routine and be regular with it by the time next semester starts. I moved almost three months ago and the apartment I live at now has a great free gym.

    I think its just hard for me to quick my bad habits. Everyone around me thinks its abnormal not to drink a lot of soda and eat half a pizza. They even give mountain dew to 4 year olds......I want to get out of those habits and be healthy before it makes an impression on my son.

    Again, thank you both.
  • 15kaspen
    15kaspen Posts: 21 Member
    Aww, don't be so hard on yourself! Either way, you're taking a great first step. Like someone else said, plan out a healthy goal weight, adjust your eating and exercise habits, and go from there. It will take time, but it will be worth it. (: I added you; I'm always here for support! ^_^ You can do it!
  • FairyMomma408
    FairyMomma408 Posts: 41
    Thank you :) Wow, I joined this place not really......expecting much....I've gotten more support in the last day than I have....well ever!
  • Colbyandsage
    Colbyandsage Posts: 751 Member
    Awe hon. Stop beating yourself up. You can do this! Feel free to add me as a friend. I am a busy mom of 2.

    Last yr at this time, I was where u are. It's amazing how 10 months of hard work and some supportive friends can help.

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