My Christmas gift for my mom, thoughts?

laurenk182004
laurenk182004 Posts: 1,882 Member
in Chit-Chat
Hey all :) I'm really on a fence about this! I have called a cleaning company and am in the process of pre paying and setting up a crew to come to my moms house (with me) and clean, declutter and organize everything. She has severe arthritis in her back and has a hard time doing these things.

Sounds great right?! Except I'm afraid she will feel like it's too much, or feel uncomfortable having people do that for her. It seriously needs to be done, and I can't do it all myself in one day. She tends to drag her feet a little when I try to help with organizing, so I'm hoping having a crew in there will light a fire for her if u get my drift.

So if she goes along with it, it would relieve a huge burden for her, I just worry she won't be as excited about the idea as I'm hoping.

Who here would like this gift and who wouldn't and why? Feel free to be brutally honest.. I need feedback!!!

Replies

  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
    I would talk to her about it.

    If she's uncomfortable, then it's really not worth it.
  • Windy_
    Windy_ Posts: 1,012 Member
    I think it's a lovely idea. But I would tell her about it first. Let her know that it relaly means something to you to be able to give her this gift, that you want to make her life easier, guilt gets them every time.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    If she doesn't want your gift... I will gladly accept.

    It really is a wonderful thought. But before you pay for anything, just ask her if she will be comfortable with this first. If she is reluctant, then explain to her why you want to do it. Like Windy said, emphasize how much it would mean for you to be able to do this for her. I'm sure she would be willing, but this just isn't a gift that you can surprise someone with so try to get her opt-in on it, if you can.
  • dovesgate
    dovesgate Posts: 894 Member
    If she drags her feet when you try to help it'll be worse if a cleaning crew comes in.
  • harleydall76
    harleydall76 Posts: 586 Member
    I would talk to her about it. I know *I* wouldn't mind someone coming and CLEANING my house, but decluttering and organizing? That's something I like to do myself, even if it's little by little and takes a while.
  • Dave198lbs
    Dave198lbs Posts: 8,810 Member
    make it a surprise

    take her out for the day

    come home to a clean house
  • laurenk182004
    laurenk182004 Posts: 1,882 Member
    I was hoping for it to be a pleasant surprise lol I guess I will rethink it... I don't want to tell her about it first because she will turn it down simply for the fact of the cost. She would know I'm sure that something like this is expensive and she always tells me not to spend a lot.
  • laurenk182004
    laurenk182004 Posts: 1,882 Member
    make it a surprise

    take her out for the day

    come home to a clean house

    Would love to do this but unfortunately she will need to know where everything gets put lol :)
  • Dave198lbs
    Dave198lbs Posts: 8,810 Member
    make it a surprise

    take her out for the day

    come home to a clean house

    Would love to do this but unfortunately she will need to know where everything gets put lol :)

    I would imagine the cleaners will tell you (unless they put it in the trunk of their car...lol)
  • laurenk182004
    laurenk182004 Posts: 1,882 Member
    make it a surprise

    take her out for the day

    come home to a clean house

    Would love to do this but unfortunately she will need to know where everything gets put lol :)

    I would imagine the cleaners will tell you (unless they put it in the trunk of their car...lol)
    lol no, I know one of the ladies on the crew, and it's a professional "green cleaning" company. I'm sure theft wouldn't be an issue. I was going to help the cleaners also so we can get more done faster (save $) lol my mom has a lot of piles of things.. It's nt a hoarder situation.. No food or anything laying around, just a lot of organizing that needs to be done and it's too much for her with her back the way it is. She would want to be the director :)
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    It's a thoughtful idea, but discuss it with her first. Especially because by dragging her feet, it sounds like she may not want to organize. "Lighting a fire" under someone is basically pushing them to do it, even if they don't want to.
  • myOWNinspiration
    myOWNinspiration Posts: 30
    Invasion of privacy
  • clover5
    clover5 Posts: 1,640 Member
    Your thought is kind and generous but if she doesn't want a cleaning crew, don't do it. Pushing it on her will only create unhappiness and discord during the holiday. She will be angry at you.
  • dawnp1833
    dawnp1833 Posts: 264 Member
    Don't do it! (or at least ask her first). Here's why... when I go to my parents' house, if I notice cob webs or a that the floor needs to be mopped, I'll give it a wipe. Thinking that I'm helping and their getting older and maybe don't notice or can't reach or whatever.
    Recently my mother told me how bad it makes her feel when I do this. Like I'm criticizing her because her house isn't clean enough.

    Even though you have the best intentions, maybe it would be better to wait until after Christmas and then talk to her about it.

    Also, here's a trick my sister and I always play on our parents - when you know they'll complain that something is too expensive we always say that either we won it in a raffle or that we traded for it. (like I did some graphic design work for them in exchange for their services).

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