Getting negative comments :(
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"I do have fun, but food isn't the center of attention anymore."
You said it, right there. Say it to them.0 -
No matter what you do, people will run it down. For some reason, other people think they can dictate what you put in your body and how much or how little you exercise. If you have found something that works for you, then stick with it!! Those people are just jealous because they want to see results!! :flowerforyou:0
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You can definaitely do this. Youve already come so far. Keep up the great work.0
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I feel your pain. My friends may say they want to lose weight but they are not willing to make a change to lose the weight, they want the quick fix. They are constantly mad at me for not wanting to go out and party all night because I have a run, ride or hike planned the next day.
Instead of letting it get to me, I joined groups and clubs to meet people that enjoy working out so I could get some new friends. Someday, my old firnds will be willing to work for their goals and I will be there to help them.0 -
Lately, i've been called "boring" and "too strict" and "i need to have fun". I do have fun, but food isn't the center of attention anymore.
I always say "If I wanted to look like you I would eat like you." Shuts them up every time.
Wow, that's awesome!0 -
You've done great and you are not boring0
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Lately, i've been called "boring" and "too strict" and "i need to have fun". I do have fun, but food isn't the center of attention anymore.
I always say "If I wanted to look like you I would eat like you." Shuts them up every time.
Sounds like a PERFECT response. I have to use this one!!!0 -
I've been reading a book off Amazon called "Secrets of Former Fat Girl..." It's been extremely helpful to me and they talk about the negative comments through out the book. Maybe it would help you and give you some strategies?0
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First--CONGRATS on losing 65 pounds.
In my experience, my old "food friends" try to keep me eating what I did before--even to the point of bringing stuff to my desk!! As if I forgot to go get it myself!! And even though they know I am trying to lose about 30 more pounds. I think it's because it makes them look at THEIR choices, and they might not like what it makes THEM feel. So keeping me at MY weight helps THEM to feel better about themselves. Does that make any sense?0 -
Way to go on your accomplishment! My husband and I are facing similar situations. We are around people who love to eat all the time. My husband has lost over 100 pounds and still has some to go but everyone tells him he's lost too much and he needs to stop where he is. I've lost about 40 so far and while I'm still 225 they keep calling me skinny and telling me I'm wasting away.
I think it makes some people feel guilty because they aren't doing what you are doing and some probably want to see you fail, then they don't feel bad about their own failures (which may or may not be weight related). I even lost a friend over it because I was making progress and they weren't. Of course they found 100 other reasons to jump me and blame me for not being a good friend, but one thing that kept coming up was how much I was working out and it wouldn't matter if I did get "smoking hot" and so on. Jealousy is an ugly beast and rears its head in many different ways. Of course that doesn't make it easier to be around those people.
I might just tell them it's worth it to be considered boring to get where I want to be, so I can be healthy and happy with my body.0 -
I guess you could look at what you did differently when you drank that they thought was "fun". I have a girlfriend I go out with sometimes and we get totally silly together. We're out on the dance floor, dancing like maniacs, singing along with the music, and could care less if we're the only ones on the dance floor! We're having fun! And all we drink are diet Cokes. I'm sure most people think we're totally drunk the way we dance and laugh and goof around. Are you quieter when you're sober? Less likely to get up and sing karaoke?
It could be you totally stupid things when you're drunk that you shouldn't do anyway. Or that they feel you're judging them by having a soda when they're drinking. But it could be that you seem more relaxed, silly or goofy when you're drunk, which you can totally be when you're sober! Alcohol is not needed for a wild and fun evening!0 -
People said the same things to me when I quit drinking years ago. You just need to stick to it and they will adjust.0
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One less person in the world to interact with ..0
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They say to make your plan work you may assertiveness training. So you can be positive and stand up for what you want to do with your life. I can see that that might help. The people around you want the same ol you, or they want to be the same ol them. And you are ready for change and self improvement. Stay positive!0
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Do what you feel like Ignore the negativiity and focus on the Posstivie it can be hard sometimes we can have possitive comments and then 1 negative comment is all it takes and we forget all the possitive and focus on the nagative it happend to me but I dont hang arround with negative in the GYM I know everyone but I had friends outside so called friends0
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I guess people get a little insecure when they see someone making such great changes in their lifestyle. Don't let them bring you down. Wow what an accomplishment - you have come so far and are doing great! Although I get in a rut with food sometimes myself, I find that eating healthy and for fuel rather than for fun is far more exciting and different than eating for fun. Healthy is becoming fun, I should say. You're doing great!!0
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You do not exist to entertain other people. You are here for yourself. You need to do what is best for YOU, and honestly, if they don't want to go with you where you are going, let them stay behind. You are awesome! :flowerforyou:0
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haters will be haters. you're making positive changes in your life. find some like-minded fitness friends
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You have done such a great job! Keep doing what works for you and don't let others comments affect you!
If you weren't so "strict" there wouldn't have been such a great LOSS! KUDOS and keep moving forward!0 -
Lately, i've been called "boring" and "too strict" and "i need to have fun". I do have fun, but food isn't the center of attention anymore.
I always say "If I wanted to look like you I would eat like you." Shuts them up every time.
But that works both ways. No need to be deliberately nasty.
Ehh, they started it..yes I'm mean :devil:0 -
Just ignore them, they are just bothered by your weight loss. I have a sister in law and she notices and has to comment every time I watch what I eat. She always says the same story about how she can't lose weight and how one time she didn't eat anything because she was sick for a while and still didn't lose weight. So now she knows that she can't lose weight and she is going to stay the same size, so she might as well eat what she likes and stay the same over weight size. Mean while she will say diets are pretty much stupid after she tells the story up above and make you feel bad about dieting. It's people like that that drive me crazy, they put you down and then justify themselves. When if the shoe was on the other foot I would be supportive of them. Anyways don't let it bother you, just ignore the haters.0
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You don't need to attack back. That's just creating drama. But you could, later, take a person who made that comment aside and talk to them.
On the other side, I used to know a guy who was really rude and cruel about my weight. I took him aside and asked him if he was my husband, lover, father, son? Did he have any responsibility for my health care or grocery bill? Was he something to me that my appearance affected him in any way? He was gobsmacked. And sputtered that no, of course not. I said, "Then my weight and appearance are none of your concern, so stop talking about them." That was the end of the attacks. Sometimes people are just thoughtless.
Your friends, if they thought about it, would realize that your choices aren't a condemnation of theirs. They are your choices for you. And you fully accept that they can choose to eat or drink what they want to around you. It's nothing to you. And what you eat or drink around them is nothing to them.0 -
It is hard. I get a bit of a wind up about it at work occasionally. But at times like these (busy social festiove times) I do let up on myself. I am still exercising and still counting, but for everyone around me this is a time of year that does centre around food. Personally at this time of year I am looking to maintain, with calorie awareness and not just eating whatever as I would have done on other years. After christmas I will be back to being strict again and if people have anything to say about it then I just ignore them. Structure and being strict is what makes it work for me!0
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I was just told that I am no longer fun.. I quit drinking while I do this and evidently sober me isn't as fun as drunk me.. Oh well..
I quit drinking too while I was initially losing - and now I barely drink - but my friends kept trying to get me to drink whenever I hung out with them, apparently me being sober made them feel weird....too bad. They've gotten used to it now. Just takes time.0 -
Your friends, if they thought about it, would realize that your choices aren't a condemnation of theirs.
This is pretty much it. You make a good choice, or constant good choices, and other people feel guilty that their choices aren't so good!0 -
Try to tune this out. People are funny; sometimes when a person sees another person bettering themself, they are threatened by this; as it changes the dynamics of relationships, it also reminds them that they are not on a self-improving path, or it brings up all sorts of issues. You are awesome! - doing great! - and unfortunately this may need to be a solo journey that you do for YOU!
I don't have as much to lose as you do, however, I have always been the fattest of my friends, and I am not receiving the kind of support that I'd like to from them; I think it brings out their competitiveness, I'm upsetting my "role", and, no, I'm not eating as much as therefore not as much fun to go out eating with.
I"ve been noticing this that losing weight brings up all kinds of psychological behavior and feelings with people, and I find it fascinating, and I'm determined to not let it derail my progress.
You go, girl!0 -
You can still go out with your friends... You just don't have to eat/drink while you are there with them if where they are going doesn't offer the healthy options you want... People that say that, say it because they don't want to be the only one pigging out in the room.0
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you've done incredibly well and if you weren't so strict and managed about it then you probably wouldn't have done as well as you have. Ignore the negative comments as much as you can because you've accomplished all of that weight loss so clearly know what it takes to get there and maintain it, whereas these people definitely do not!0
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A good tip for not having to drink when you're with your friends is to try and sneakily separately order a drink if you're out that looks alcoholic (like soda water and lime with lots of ice) and just say it has vodka or something in it. Or if you're drinking in, get a vodka bottle and pour the vodka into another bottle to hide and fill the vodka bottle with water, it looks basically the same and nobody will know, especially if you are measuring it out!0
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Entiende esto, those are what you call HATERS!!!!!!!!! I get that a lot from my sister in-law and a friend of mine. They always have a comment to say about what I do and what I eat.
Don't listen to them. Do your thing, it's about YOU. This is a lifestyle now. Just let them know if they got nothing nice to say, don't say nothing at all. Remember, they HATIN and probably Jealous0
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