Afraid my daughter will follow in my footsteps. :(
Erykah3584
Posts: 324 Member
Hello all! So I have a daughter who is 4 years old and for the last few months I've been noticing that she always seems to be hungry. She has always been very small for her age and even as an infant, her pediatrician told me that I had to offer her food often throughout the day so that she can gain weight. They even told me to put butter, mayo, avacado, and whole milk in her foods. She was considered "failing to thrive" because of how under weight she was. But she was just tiny! She took after her dad because my mother-in-law told me that my husband was the same way when he was little. But of course the Dr.'s only went by their charts. Now I notice that she gets "excited" about food. Or if she sees somebody eating something, she wants to eat too, even though she just ate. Like right now for example, she had just finished eating almost a whole bowl of oatmeal but she saw me eating and wanted what I had. I told her that she just ate and then she starts crying saying that shes hungry. Theres no way she could have been hungry. Am I just being paranoid? Maybe shes just growing? Shes not chubby, but Im afraid she will be. I started gaining my weight when I was about 7 and stayed that way the rest of my life. I had kids call me fat in elementary school and I remember how hurtful that was. I dont want either of my kids to go through that. Should I deny her food when I know there is no possible way that she can be hungry? Or just give her what she wants? I dont keep junk food in my house but as Im going through this process myself, I do give in to junk myself and my kids end up eating it also. I still struggle with food and am working on my relationship with it. I have gotten a whole lot better and my family and myself eat a whole lot healthier. I just dont want her to have a love for food like I did and still sometimes do.
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This is tricky, because normally I eat when I am hungry, but also I do have the munchies a lot so you can never tell. Also being dehydrated can make you feel hungry when you really aren't.
Being a child, she doesn't know the difference between hunger and "hungry".
Personally, if my daughter acted like this, I would 1)Make sure shes hydrated and 2)just feed her more. Kids do need a lot of nutrition because their bodies are still growing and forming. I wouldn't give her ice cream and cookies but bigger portions of healthier choices wouldn't be a bad option. If you dont want her to follow in your footsteps, teach her young what food is. Its an energy provider that makes our bodies run (my plan to do as well), and that you can indulge, but its a once and a while thing.0 -
I have a niece who is now 26. When she was younger..didnt matter when she ate..if one of us was eating..she wanted some. We did indulge her..but we gave her a little..not a whole lot..I know in our house..eating is a social event..so if she didnt partake..she felt left out.
She is now a thriving young woman..with no body issues whatsoever..0 -
i feel the same way with my son. but he's 2 and has never been a small guy. lol. but the drs have always said he's proportionally big for his height and weight. but lately he does the same thing if he sees me or my hubby eating. he says he's hungry and goes to his highchair. most times i know there's no way and i offer him a banana or yogurt. something i know he likes but isnt what i'm eating. if he's actually hungry he'll take it. but more often than not he says no. and goes back to play. maybe you could offer your daughter a healthy snack and if she is actually hungry, she'll eat it and you dont have to worry about her eating too much junk. if she's not actually hungry she might whine for what you're eating and thats your choice if you give it to her.0
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At four I think she is reaching another growth period and really could be hungry. I have 4 and 6 year old boys. There are days that they can out eat a professional football player. Neither one is large in any way - both are under 25 percentile for weight and my youngest is 60 percentile for height and my oldest is at 90 percentile for height.0
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Kids eating can be very difficult to give advice on. I totally agree with the hydrated issue. Offer water often. Also, we have set snack times. If you are hungry, wait until snack, lunch, whatever. Also, one I think is really important to eat meals together. If you all eat at the same time, it keeps that "I want what you have, even though I just ate" under control. I know it is hard. I have three at home with me. Also, I find that if I offer an apple or carrots and they are just being munchie, they will decline it.:) Good luck with what you decide. Oh, also, she could be having a growth spurt. When my kids hit one, they eat like crazy for a week or two, then it tapers back off. Just encourage her to eat plenty and not "pick" at mealtimes, because the next eating time will be _________. Hope this helped a little.0
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My daughter is also very small and always has been. They had me giving her those nutritional drinks when she is little. I do my best to keep healthy food in the house and want to teach her how to eat healthy, That being said, I don't deny her food. If we have ate dinner and an hour later she is hungry, she can have a piece of fruit or cheese. I think she just can' t hold a lot of food. So if she needs to snack, make it healthy snacks. Maybe two or three a day, not around the clock. Good Luck! Parenting is difficult.0
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I'm a mother of three kids who are now adults and a 3 year old grand dtr--trust me what your daugther is doing is "normal". Most often than not she's just a 4 year old who simply wants pretty much everything she sees (this could also apply to a "toy"--it may not jsut be a "food fetish"). At this point I would not be overly "concerned" especially since she's only 4 and not over weight. I would just make sure that you 'moderate' what she eats and how often she eats without being too restrictive. Substitute "good" for "bad". I really think right now she's probably fine but if you start to notice her gaining a lot of unhealthy weight, then I would be concerned; just incorporate "excercise" fit for a "toddler"...you probably have nothing to worry about.0
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I would be careful about projecting your own experiences and insecurities on to your daughter. It is very possible that she is growing and needs more food. You say that she is not eating junk food, what she is wanting is healthy....then I would give it to her. You also don't want to set up a dynamic at home where she is hungry, and you do not give her food. That could lead to weight problems further down the road as well. If she says she is hungry, believe her. Just make sure what you are giving her is healthy.0
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i have 3 boys..almost 5, 6 and 13..they eat ALL DAY long..haha
they are super skinny..they are growing hungry boys..I'd only be worried if they were gaining a lot of weight..my boys are active and perfectly healthy weight wise. 0 -
My personal belief is that if you keep healthy food around and don't make food an issue nearly every child will learn to eat healthy. It's pretty difficult to over eat healthy food. In today's environment, I think you should be as concerned about helping her to stay active as what she eats. It is so easy to teach kids our bad attitudes it is important to think about it.0
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My 6 year old eats constantly. Thankfully, he's a fan of healthy food and typically opts for fruits or veggies.
But she's four... Let her be little.0 -
Thanks for the great advice everyone! I will start to offer her more water. I never thought about that. I know that when i get the munchies or feel hungry after I ate, its because Im thirsty. Having scheduled eating times and eating together is also great. Something I should give a try. Im sure shes just a little girl with a big appetite and a fast metabolism. :0) And youre right, parenting is hard!0
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I have three girls, who are now 16, 13, and 7. None of them has weight issues, and they would all go through periods of time where they would seem to be eating every waking moment. As long as the foods she wants and gets are good for her then let her eat when she says she is hungry. This could be a growth spurt and will taper off soon enough. I don't believe this is setting a pattern for life for her. If she begins to try to bypass good foods for junk then you may have issues. Make sure she has plenty to drink and let her tell you when she is hungry, you don't want to restrict food because then she will begin to feel more like food is a reward because it isn't always available.0
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I agree with offering her more water, but...
Have the water with her meals. DO NOT eat something she'd want and then only offer her water. lol.
So, water with her meals, and then just a bit of what you have if she wants some. Teach her manners though. Gotta be polite.0 -
It IS important to teach children good eating habits young. BUT she's small. She could really be hungry. When she asks for food, double check that she really is hungry. Remind her that it's not healthy to eat when you aren't hungry. Then if she still says she's hungry give her healthy food. You could also try to time your eating around hers. Family meals are good anyway.0
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There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a love for food. If you make her self-concious about what she is eating, then she will end up having a poor relationship with food. If she is underweight, I would not deny her food. Concern yourself with how much she eats if she becomes overweight. I would avoid giving into indulgences too often, but they are still okay sometimes. But honestly, I think you might be projecting your own insecurities on your child which could be a recipe for disaster. If she is not overweight, then you are stressing yourself far too much on the issue.0
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I think its more important to make sure you aren't giving her food hangups by restricting. My daughter is 12 and she sounds just like what you're describing. But my son, he could care less about eating. My daughter is an athlete and works out 4 hours on most days, so I'm not concerned because she is growing and is at a healthy weight. She eats at the level her body needs, even though she does love food! I think its more important to establish good exercising habits, and just teach them to eat when hungry, stop when full. Like most normal eaters do. Good luck!0
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My personal belief is that if you keep healthy food around and don't make food an issue nearly every child will learn to eat healthy. It's pretty difficult to over eat healthy food. In today's environment, I think you should be as concerned about helping her to stay active as what she eats. It is so easy to teach kids our bad attitudes it is important to think about it.
I am with him as well as with the other people that say do not worry unless she starts gaining an unusual amount of weight. At 4 she should be playing and burning a great deal of calories and yes probably a growth spurt.
Enjoy it now and do not worry unless it does become an issue. There is a good chance this too shall pass and then you will be worried she is not eating enough.0 -
You don't have to teach your children not to love food in order to keep them fit and healthy. It's okay to let them in on the secret that junk food and sweets can be quite delicious (they will find out anyway). You just need to teach them that just because something is delicious that does not make it okay to eat it all the time and to excess. Much the same way one might teach a child that because sex is quite wonderful that is no reason to become a raging hobag.
But you are correct that if you have an unhealthy relationship with food, you are in fact teaching that to your child through your actions. Let that be motivation for you to do better, and if are concerned about your 4 yo's eating habits discuss it with your pediatrician.0 -
I dont want her to not love food, but I dont want her to have an unhealthy relationship with it. Like always thinking about it or eating more just because its good and youre not even hungry. I dont tell her anything though. Ive been feeding her when she says she is hungry. My 6 year old son is completely different when it comes to food. He eats when hes hungry and stops when hes full. He doesnt get excited about food like she does. I guess thats why I feel concerned. Maybe I shouldnt be comparing them.0
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My personal belief is that if you keep healthy food around and don't make food an issue nearly every child will learn to eat healthy. It's pretty difficult to over eat healthy food. In today's environment, I think you should be as concerned about helping her to stay active as what she eats. It is so easy to teach kids our bad attitudes it is important to think about it.
I am with him as well as with the other people that say do not worry unless she starts gaining an unusual amount of weight. At 4 she should be playing and burning a great deal of calories and yes probably a growth spurt.
Enjoy it now and do not worry unless it does become an issue. There is a good chance this too shall pass and then you will be worried she is not eating enough.
I'm with them as well
I have a 6y.o. lil girl - she has always gone in phases of always hungry to not so much. I don't force her to eat if she's not hungry & when she's still hungry after dinner or something, we have baby carrots usually or apples, cucumber slices - veggies or fruit to snack on. I don't buy traditional snack foods0 -
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She probably is indeed in a growing spurt. For my 2, 3, 4 and 5 year old grandchildren there are established mealtimes and healthy snacks only- available whenever they want them at these ages. Half the time they may not want the meat or bread or veggie at lunch, but half an hour later they are hungry. I do my best, but these battles are not worth fighting. They can have a piece of fruit or cheese as a snack and maybe popcorn at night if they at least tried some dinner. We all grow up and learn to eat most foods- but the mind of a 2-5 year old is a confusing complex, immature place 0
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Yes, this is what I think too. She may be going through a growth spurt, in which case she'll eat whatever you offer. But if she's just using the word "hungry" to join in or control you or be like you, she'll turn down the healthier snacks, and you'll know that's what it is. It will also reinforce the attitude of eating healthy when you're hungry, and not just chowing down on junk food because you think you want to munch.i feel the same way with my son. but he's 2 and has never been a small guy. lol. but the drs have always said he's proportionally big for his height and weight. but lately he does the same thing if he sees me or my hubby eating. he says he's hungry and goes to his highchair. most times i know there's no way and i offer him a banana or yogurt. something i know he likes but isnt what i'm eating. if he's actually hungry he'll take it. but more often than not he says no. and goes back to play. maybe you could offer your daughter a healthy snack and if she is actually hungry, she'll eat it and you dont have to worry about her eating too much junk. if she's not actually hungry she might whine for what you're eating and thats your choice if you give it to her.0 -
I also didnt use apostrophes. :noway:0 -
If she's not overweight, it's not an issue. My daughter eats pretty consistently, but is thin as a rail. She also plays physically hard, which is probably why she eats consistently.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
I would start by setting strict meal times (roughly 5-6 meals per day). Monitor her calories too. I'd aim for about 2,000 - 2,500 at her age. Kids need to eat way more than adults do so there is a possibility that she could be hungry but it's also possible that this is now just a habit that she has gotten into. Be careful with that. My daughter is much like me where she loves food and will want to eat when bored but my son only eats when he is hungry. To him, food is there to stay alive and not for comfort. It's strange how they differ. I do not allowed them to eat outside of mealtimes unless we have something special going on. They know that meals/snacks are 7am, 10am, noon, 2:30pm and 6pm.
It is very fascinating though that at times my son can eat way more than I can and other times he nibbles.0 -
I have a niece who is now 26. When she was younger..didnt matter when she ate..if one of us was eating..she wanted some. We did indulge her..but we gave her a little..not a whole lot..I know in our house..eating is a social event..so if she didnt partake..she felt left out.
She is now a thriving young woman..with no body issues whatsoever..
Wow, I can't believe this mentality that Americans have of eating being a SOCIAL event? REALLY?!?!?!?
We eat for nourishment and survival, not socialiazation. Right there lies a HUGE problem with the obesity epidemic.0 -
NOT true! There is no obesity epidemic throughout countries in Europe and FOOD is everywhere and has everything to do with people and events and socializing. The Obesity Epidemic in North America has to do with the CRAP food that's publicized, advertised, promoted, w/e & served in homes. What you get, people eating this "food" in excess.0
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I have a niece who is now 26. When she was younger..didnt matter when she ate..if one of us was eating..she wanted some. We did indulge her..but we gave her a little..not a whole lot..I know in our house..eating is a social event..so if she didnt partake..she felt left out.
She is now a thriving young woman..with no body issues whatsoever..
Wow, I can't believe this mentality that Americans have of eating being a SOCIAL event? REALLY?!?!?!?
We eat for nourishment and survival, not socialiazation. Right there lies a HUGE problem with the obesity epidemic.
NOT true! There is no obesity epidemic throughout countries in Europe and FOOD is everywhere and has everything to do with people and events and socializing. The Obesity Epidemic in North America has to do with the CRAP food that's publicized, advertised, promoted, w/e & served in homes. What you get, people eating this "food" in excess.0
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