About to go insane and in desperate need of help!!
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MartialAngel
Posts: 64 Member
I need some help. My husband and I are both trying to lose weight. I stay home and take care of our 12 month old daughter. I really want to be able to cook healthy meals for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, but they have to be easy or quick meals. I don't have time or the mentality to slave over the stove for an hour after taking care of Gabriel and the house all day. I don't know the first thing about healthy foods, or portion sizes. I don't know how to cook for just two people because I was raised in a family of 9. It's gotten to the point that I'm so depressed that I either eat junk all the time, or I skip meals. As embarrassing as this is to admit, my husband told me (not in a mean way) that he's no longer attracted to me since we had the baby. I want to be the woman he Can't wait to show off yo his friends again, but I just don't know what to do anymore. I really need some help, and I really need some support. I have no friends and I'm looking for people on here as well as living in my area. I think it Would help to have a physical presence helping me with this. If anyone could give me some pointers, I'd really appreciate it.
Another problem is that my husband snacks all day long. I usually have to keep chips or something like that in the house, but it's hard to stay away when I do. What are some good snacks that are healthier but still taste good and don't have to be eaten within a week of buying it?
Another problem is that my husband snacks all day long. I usually have to keep chips or something like that in the house, but it's hard to stay away when I do. What are some good snacks that are healthier but still taste good and don't have to be eaten within a week of buying it?
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It's wonderful that you and your husband are BOTH trying to lose weight. That makes life so much easier. You have an opportunity, since you prepare meals, to help both of you and you can become the 'food expert' in the process.
Whatever diet you choose, if you want it to be healthy, you have to define 'healthy' to yourself and to your husband. He can give his opinion about what he thinks 'healthy' is, because it's important that you two are on the same page when it comes to health.
I go to WW but I can't say that it is an ideal plan for every person who wants to diet. It is great for support, but I have yet to meet a friend there or make a friend there. That hasn't been a problem, as far as dieting goes, but it sound like you could use the one-on-one support because you are at home with a baby. That can be isolating and stressful at times.
I have heard good things about Overeaters Anonymous (they have chapters and meetings all over the country). What seems to make it a good option for you is their assignment of a sponsor-type person who is there for you, in person (or on the phone) to help you along when you have struggles with food choices. I think OA runs on donations instead of membership dues, but I don't really know. It's inexpensive, though - that I know.
The easiest part of your problem is learning to cook for two people. The internet is full of blogs for people searching for ideas and on special diets.
cooking for two diet blog
is the search argument I used in google and it yielded good result. Unfortunately, the food doesn' t look like diet food (doesn't really bother me, I substitute a lot of low-fat or non-fat ingredients anyway) but this looked promising:
http://healthyfortwo.com/
Then, there's always amazon.com. Just do a search like, 'cooking for two diet' in their cookbook section and see what comes up in the way of books - very inexpensive when used, and very convenient if Kindle. You don't have to own a Kindle to own and read a Kindle book. Amazon will store your copy 'in the cloud' for you. Sometimes, a plain old used cookbook that suits your needs is best in paper just because you can skip through it easily and mark it up.
Good luck!
You can make your own healthy snacks. Some little quiches, heavy on the egg white, using silpat type cupcake molds. Some home-pickled eggs (beet juice, onions, vinegar) stored in the fridge. Some low-fat crackers and hard low-fat cheese. A big salad of greens tossed with very little dressing is a substantial 'snack.' High fiber english muffins with some chopped olives, a smear of chopped, drained tomato, some italian spices, and non-fat mozzarella cheese and a dusting of parmesan - tastes like a mini-pizza. Low fat popcorn.
Google 'snack blog'
This came up:
http://www.snack-girl.com/
Snacking is really hard to control if you're trying to lose weight. In fact, I'd bet that if you only eat meals and don't snack, you and your husband will both lose weight. Just guessing, because in that case, you'd be making a substantial change to your diet. Unless you load up at breakfast, lunch or dinner, to make up for lost snacking, you're calorie counts are going to go down.0 -
My go to suggestion is minestrone soup. Easy to freeze if you make too much. Great to snack on. And generally pretty healthy. Soups and stews I think are always a good choice because the are so easy. Dump the stuff in a crock pot or a dutch oven in the stove on low heat and just leave it till dinner. And it's just as easy to make enough for several meals as it is one. Bean soups and barley soups are other good choices. (i came from a family of six so I just had to learn to embrace my large meal making tendencies and learn to work around. I also freeze my biscuit and bread dough into smaller portions for later thawing and use)
My second suggestion, is what I had to do with my husband. You don't HAVE to keep junk food in the house. Tell him flat out that if he feels strongly about it then that bs has to stop, because thats what you need. My husband wasnt happy with that AT ALL, until I started losing a bit of weight. I finally did figure out though, he was keeping the junk food in his truck. But that was fine. It wasn't in the house with me. Plus I knew he felt happy about my new weight when a single package of oreos appeared on the pantry, lol.0 -
Thanks for the suggestions! I came from a family of 9, so the cooking for two is my biggest struggle. Lol! I'm really hoping to fight through this and start losing weight.0
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I plan my meals days in advance. Seeing as you're a stay at home mom and have access to the internet, the world of healthy eating is at your finger tips. I cook for 3 and the boys eat whatever I put in front of them. I'll skip the rice or pasta's for me and substitute them with canned veggies. I make sure to eat chicken, fish, pork, steak and a lot of ground turkey patties. I made myself 5 patties last night and put them in the freezer, till I'm ready to eat them. Healthy eating and cooking doesn't mean a 5 course meal. You said your husband is also trying to lose weight? Well there you go. It's not like he's going to mind eating whatever you're cooking up that night. Get rid of the junk food and I don't mean eat it. I mean throw it in the trash. Get rid of it!
Feel free to add me anytime
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I just found a site that plans a weekly meal for you. Go to everdayhealth.com. If you set up your profile it asks your nutrition concerns and bases the meals around that. Then go to health tools and meal planning. It is not real printer friendly but it plans out breakfast, lunch, dinner and a snack. It looks like most the meals i have looked at are fairly quick and easy to prepare. And most the menus are for 4. So you can cut it in half or I plan on serving leftovers a coupld times a week. I just started today so I havent tried the recipes to be able to tell you how good they are but it is a place to start.
As far as the chips. Don't buy them. Just tell your husband you will provide healthy snacks for both of you.
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My tip is to make it fun for yourself! Look up some funky recipes online that look TASTY!! Make a day of it, take your little one to the shops and get all the ingredients. You can put your baby beside you in the high chair while you prepare supper. Sometimes i give my 18 month old a washed carrot, or a huge lettuce leaf to play with.. she loves it! A couple of weeks ago I made spinach and feta stuffed cannelloni.. It was so good! Go digging in your closets and find some forgotten linen, set the table up nice with a candle or something. It's a great time for you to change your cooking habits, as your little one is starting to eat regular food. Do it for the baby, you will be doing your daughter a huge favour in starting her off with a good diet.
Edit- I forgot to mention there are great videos online for cooking. I set up my laptop on the table and the baby gets a kick out of watching it. She also loves it when I pretend to be Julia Child, lol.0 -
First off, good for you for not being afraid to ask for help and trying to better your diet. The one thing I can suggest, since you say you are used to making larger amounts of food (for 9 as opposed to 2) is to do just that, eat one night of it, then portion out the rest and freeze for later. Perhaps have one or two big batch cooking days a week (maybe this is something you and your husband can do together) portion it out, freeze. Then all you'll have to do for meals is defrost, reheat and perhaps make a simple vegetable side with it. That will save you time in the long run as well.
Again, there are lots of websites devoted to make ahead meals, so find recipes that sound tasty and start cooking!0 -
"insane", "desperate", "slave over a stove". Maybe given to hyperbole?? Suck it up and make it happen. I get small children and stay at home mom. How did the farm women and pioneer women and men for that matter, ever do it?0
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I fell ya! I'm single and cooking for one is hard one me. But i'm learning. My goal when cooking is to cook for two..... Dinner now, Lunch tomorrow. 2 birds, 1 stone. For instance, pasta. I never ever fix a whole box. I fixabout 1/3 a box at a time and put the rest in a baggie and put it away. then i load with with veggies (frozen make the prep so much easier). For flavoring i'll add Italian dressing, oil and spices, or sometimes i get the forzen veggies that come in their sauce and leave it as is. I'll buy chicken and then freeze it in individual baggies, nothing goes to waste and i only pull out what I need... i.e.... you only fix two breast at a time.
For snacking, i keep fruit and veggies stocked. One thing my brother taught me was the trick to grocery shopping. When shopping, don't go down the isles. Shop on the outside of the store.. ie, produce, dairy, meats.... you don't get temped with all the junk food. Yes its k to go down isles whenyou need spices, or toilet paper, lol. But avoid the soda isle, chips, candies, etc. Out of sight- out-of -mind. And never shop HUNGRY! lol.
I've also learned that if there is somethign you reallylove. Don't go cold turkey. You will end up giving in and overeating. allow yourself those treats, on occasion and in moderation.
Feel free to add me if you like and good luck! 0 -
Portion sizes are on most government websites if you Google. Cooking doesn't have to take hours, get a slow cooker (crock pot) cook in bulk as you are used to and freeze or refrigerate half or three quarters, whatever you decide is the excess. I cam throw a meal together in the slow cooker in under five minutes and have had many super busy nutrition clients use this as a way to eat better. Stir fries don't take long either.
Why is your husband snacking? He should be full from his planned meals and snacks. Are you filling up on healthy wholefoods or ready made/ processed stuff? Aim to get nine servings of low sugar fruits and non starchy vegetables per day, that is a heck of a lot of food but few calories. If you are concerned about things not lasting, spread it out between fresh, frozen, canned and dry produce. You don't have to keep chips in the house, that is self sabotage for both of you.0 -
Good for you for getting started! It took me until #2 was 3 1/2 before I got on my way!
Like erinsueburns, my husband kept his junk food out of the house or bought stuff I won't eat. That way I bought and cooked for the kids and myself. He got some dose of a good menu at home, but no complaints if he had his non-health-friendly at work. Relationship saver right there. Also, since he is a picky eater, I only made the amount listed (serves 4, serves 6). that way I had enough if everyone liked it (and could make more later), or I could pitch it without too much guilt.
Staying at home is tough, especially with a spouse who is not where you are, mentally, or location-ally. And especially with that pantry there! I started with South Beach, which is a low carb approach that does not calorie count. Lost 5-8 on it, got a great sense of healthy, good tasting choices, and keep it as my guiding principle in choosing what I eat (usually!). With this site I now balance choice and proportion and have taken up my consciousness a bit more.
In terms of people, I chose a few options. I belong to two mom's groups. One through my church and the other is through MOMS Club, International. I go to events that I like, and the MOMS Club one has an activities sub-group that goes walking 1-2 times a week. You get to meet people who are intertested in moving and getting/staying healthy, gets you out of the house and away from the fridge, and lets your little one have new experiences, too. Anything that got me out of the house was helpful! MFP has also been great for me. My husband has not started really watching what he eats until recently, so my attention to it drove him crazy, but, I felt, who else could I talk with about it? Here, I can find threads that share my interests, and, having addressed something I am focused on, can go back to him, talk with him maybe a bit about it, and move on to other topics.
Friend me if you like. You are going to do really well!0 -
Welcome, you're on the right track already! :flowerforyou:
I've learned to use the slow cooker and plan ahead when making meals - it's been a great help since I live on my own. Slow cooker recipes usually are also less complicated too and require only a little preparation time - so could be great for your schedule!
Here's a site with a ton of ideas: http://crockpot365.blogspot.com/
Don't get overwhelmed with trying to change everything all at once, that can burn you out and make you frustrated; I've learned to take things slowly. Changed from drinking juices and soft drinks to water, tea, and almond milk. Increased my greek yogurt intake. Stopped buying chips and loaded up on healthy snacks that I could munch on. For me, it's about changing my lifestyle, I had to do it slowly to incorporate it and make sure that I could do this for the rest of my life.
Good luck!!0 -
Welcome, you're on the right track already! :flowerforyou:
I've learned to use the slow cooker and plan ahead when making meals - it's been a great help since I live on my own. Slow cooker recipes usually are also less complicated too and require only a little preparation time - so could be great for your schedule!
Here's a site with a ton of ideas: http://crockpot365.blogspot.com/
Don't get overwhelmed with trying to change everything all at once, that can burn you out and make you frustrated; I've learned to take things slowly. Changed from drinking juices and soft drinks to water, tea, and almond milk. Increased my greek yogurt intake. Stopped buying chips and loaded up on healthy snacks that I could munch on. For me, it's about changing my lifestyle, I had to do it slowly to incorporate it and make sure that I could do this for the rest of my life.
Good luck!!
The crockpot is a great idea! I just got a new one at Walmart for $22.00, and it's HUGE!! One pot gives two dinners for the three of us, two lunches, and we still end up throwing some out. Which is dumb, if you planned ahead you could freeze some for lunches, but somehow I always flub that up.0 -
Well if you don't want to slave over a stove for an hour, get a crock pot. There are websites/cookbooks about cooking healthy meals in a crock pot. Put in the ingredients in the am and its done at dinner time. Not sure you can get easier/healthier than that.
Meal plan while the baby naps. Look up 30 minute meals. Cook in large batches and freeze/store for meals during the week.
If you are serious about making this happen, tell your husband you need his support. Try to make it fun for both of you. Then do it with or without... sometimes others need to see us as their inspiration. Let him know you'd rather not have chips or unhealthy snacks in the house, if he wants them then he can purchase and keep them at his work.0 -
I love the rotisserie chickens at the grocery store. Easy and good. Just take the skin off. Roast some veggies and you have at least one easy meal.0
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For your portion control, I strongly recommend a kitchen scale. Weigh your food. It would surprise you how much difference estimating an ounce here and there can add up over time. You will get to where you can 'eye ball' it better, but it has been a Godsend for me.
I LOVE my slow cooker! Some great advice already given on that. If you can get it put together either night before, or before your husband leaves in the morning, you are set.
We have (re)discovered spaghetti squash. It can be done in the microwave, but is great in the oven. Prep time is quick, but actual baking time can take a while. But usually doable with a little one, because you don't have to stand over it while it is baking.
Frozen veg in the microwave with serving sizes for 2 - 2/12 people should be less than 4 - 5 minutes.
If you meat is thawed, you can throw a stir fry together, or chicken breast, or pork chops... 10 minutes.
For quick, don't under estimate a couple of chicken breasts in a skillet with just a tsp or so of olive oil, and some lemon pepper for seasoning. Steam some fresh veg, or use the frozen and cook in a microwave. You can have a VERY nice meal on the table in 15 - 20 minutes.
I do recommend planning meals. I put my general menus together, and grocery shop once a week. I don't 'commit' to which day I will do what, but have six dinners planned out and all the ingredients on hand. That is the biggest time saver.
Congrats on the family being happy and healthy together. Just take it a day at a time, and enjoy all those moments together!
Good luck!0 -
I also come from a large family! I find it almost impossible to cook in small portions, but that isn't a bad thing either! Make larger meals and freeze them into smaller portion sizes.0
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Oh hon. As a mama, I know what you are dealing with. But here's the thing- you stay home all day means you got time. I don't mean to sound harsh, but you do. You just gotta make that decision to chnage your life and DO IT!
You are here, on MFP- great start! You got access to a tool that will help you! We will help you!!!
Here's my suggestions (and I admit I didn't read anyone else's advice because I am at work LOL).
(1) ditch the bad attidue- again, it sounds harsh but I have been there. You have the power to change how you see your own life.
(2) track everything you eat, and stick to your calorie allotment that MFP gives you (if you are nursing, you'll have to add calories for that)
(3) if you want to eat more than what you are allotted, you gotta earn it through exercise
(4) GIVE YOURSELF EXERCISE CREDIT FOR ALL THE HOUSEWORK YOU DO (more on this later*)
(5) stock up on healthier snacks for you, and use your will power. I have to keep chips in the house at all times for my son (he's 11 and they are part of his lunch every day) and I just don't eat them...when I do, I limit it. If I go overboard, I accept that and try to do better next time (or if I have the time, I run to burn it off).
As far as exercise goes- raising a baby is a lot of exercise in itself. If you are cleaning the house, you are doing stuff all day long- moving furniture? Vacuuming? Sweeping? Dusting? Moving loads of laundry? Taking out garbage bags full of diapers? Yep. That's exercise believe it or not. LOG THAT SHIZZ! I heard a study on NPR where they took a bunch of maids and had them count calories and exercise,. Group A was allowed to count their job as exercise (vacuuming, walking up and down stiars all day) and Group B wasn't allowed to track that. Guess which group ended up losing more weight? Group A! Because they felt good about themselves and motivated themselves when they gave themselves credit!!!
Also, exercise with baby can be done! Do chin ups at the playground! Run laps around the playground! Get a burly cart and bike that baby around town! You can get a running stroller and have your afternoon walk be an afternoon jog! You can use the baby as a weight and overhead press a million times a day. Seriously. I used to bench press my kid. It was super fun.
As far as cooking goes- I feel like there is an entire world of amazing culinary awesomeness that you just gotta open your heart to. I love cooking. Sometimes it's super simple to make a really great meal. And I cook a lot and freeze some for days when I don't want to cook.It seems to me that you should cook like you're cooking for a big family and save some for a day when you just didn't have the time. There's so much awesomeness out there in terms of healthy food. I wouldn't even know where to start. I crave brussel sprouts and broccoli and tofu and quinoa and coconut curries and collard greens...
also, protein shakes. This is good to keep your protein up and super easy if you are on the go. I blend frozen fruit with my protein powder and some water. It's not a meal replacer, but its one healthy option for dessert (mine is 170 cals, i use GNC soy protein).
Good luck Mama!
Don't give up!0
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