resolve: a firm determination to do something

I am doing my "new year" post and setting forth my goals a little earlier than most. Partly because I want to set myself apart from the flood of people that make ridiculous, outlandish, unsustainable new years resolutions that they fail to keep, and partly because I can feel myself getting a bit too comfortable and lax with my diet. Because I AM different than those that set the outlandish resolutions. Because I have RESOLVE.

Resolve: a firm determination to do something.

I don't know what flipped the switch for me...having to buy jeans at Layne Bryant, only having a few outfits I felt remotely comfortable it, wanting to avoid social situations with my kids because I didn't want them to have the "fat" mom, being the heaviest woman in our 4 person firm, looking in the mirror naked and wondering what man on earth would actually want to marry this body, grabbing another beer to mask the fact I felt incredibly uncomfortable in my own skin, un-tagging yet another unflattering picture on Facebook, drowning my feelings in another plate of food, thinking what was another 5 pounds, I was fat already....it (I) was disgusting. I ballooned up to 205 pounds. Size 16/18 jeans. XL shirts. And I couldn’t care. I wouldn’t let me. I was bitter and self-loathing.

I went to the doctor last week, and I am now 160 pounds. I have lost 45 pounds and over 25 inches. I started running and lifting and found my passion. I’m now running around 20 miles a week, and have signed up for a half marathon in March. This is NOT the product of a quick fix, a fad diet or a pill. This is all hard work. RESOLVE. When your ipod dies at mile 6 of your planned 8 on a 30 degree day, your resolve keeps you going. Hard work. Commitment.

I am in the best shape of my adult life, mentally and physically. But I am nowhere near done, and nowhere near perfect. I’m posting this today because I had a slip up this afternoon. Nothing major, just ate too much of food that isn’t proper fuel for my body. I felt the horrible self-talk coming on, but thanks to my lovely MFP friends, I was reminded that I have come SO far, and one little slip up will not undo everything. Hell, 20 little slip-ups would barely make a dent in all the hard work I have put in over the past half year.

All of that being said, I am looking forward to 2013 as a year of challenges, improvement and fitness. I will lift heavy, run far, fuel my body and treat my body like the temple it is. I RESOLVE to honor myself. Can you do the same?

2013 Goals:
- Run ½ marathon in March
- Improve my time to at least a 10 minute mile (I know, I’m slow!)
- Complete Stronglift program
- Complete New Rules of Lifting for Women program
- Deadlift my bodyweight
- Squat my bodyweight
- 55 lb OHP
- Pushups. Do them. Often.
-Ideally, would love to be at my goal weight (130) by the end of 2013, but I realize that is not what this journey is about.


Measurements (from 5/1/12---->12/1/12)
Waist: 42.5 in--->32.0 in
Hips: 50.0 in --->42.5 in
Chest: 41.5 --->38.5 in
Ribs below chest: 36.25--->33.0 in

Measurements (7/15/12--->12/1/12) (when I realized measuring was super important)
Upper arm: 14 in --->13 in
Upper thigh: 27.5 --->26.5 in

Weight/BMI from doctor's charts:
7/30/09- 177 lbs, 29.24 BMI
2/18/10- 176 lbs
10/5/10- 183lbs, 30.96 BMI
10/19/10-181 lbs
6/23/11-178lbs, BMI 30.09
10/17/11-192 lbs, BMI 32.18 (OMG a 14 weight gain??)
11/15/11-194 lbs, BMI 32.62
1/26/12-200 lbs, BMI 33.59
12/4/12-160 lbs, BMI 26.8