UPDATED....I don't want to see you anymore
AwesomeMoJo
Posts: 1,145 Member
in Chit-Chat
So, I told him last night.
My exact words were..."J, you and I are 2 different people. we seem to want different things. I don't want us to waste anymore time. You deserve someone who wants to be with you and you connect with. I deserve the same...we just are not meant to be together."
His words were:..."but I can change for you...I like you and want to be with you.."
I told him, I do not want a man who will change for me. I want a man that I accept the way he is and I accept him as he is...I never want to be a woman who tries to change her man. That is not me.
He has since texted me 3x and called me 2x this morning...
Did I use the right words??? Was I too harsh?
My exact words were..."J, you and I are 2 different people. we seem to want different things. I don't want us to waste anymore time. You deserve someone who wants to be with you and you connect with. I deserve the same...we just are not meant to be together."
His words were:..."but I can change for you...I like you and want to be with you.."
I told him, I do not want a man who will change for me. I want a man that I accept the way he is and I accept him as he is...I never want to be a woman who tries to change her man. That is not me.
He has since texted me 3x and called me 2x this morning...
Did I use the right words??? Was I too harsh?
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Replies
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Quite obvious you were not harsh enough...& he is a creeper
Just ignore the texts/calls. If they don't stop after a few days, block the number..0 -
"I can change you"?! Oh man....what a doofus.. Um no.
You used the right words..he's just a moron. I'd personally ignore the calls and texts. Eventually, he'll get it.0 -
NOW is the right time to ignore his calls and texts.0
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NOW is the right time to ignore his calls and texts.
^^This.0 -
"I can change you"?! Oh man....what a doofus.. Um no.
You used the right words..he's just a moron. I'd personally ignore the calls and texts. Eventually, he'll get it.
"can change FOR you"
Regardless, you did the right thing. You were very straight forward and honest (and it still didn't seem to get through to him). Just ignore the calls/texts.0 -
So, I told him last night.
My exact words were..."J, you and I are 2 different people. we seem to want different things. I don't want us to waste anymore time. You deserve someone who wants to be with you and you connect with. I deserve the same...we just are not meant to be together."
His words were:..."but I can change for you...I like you and want to be with you.."
I told him, I do not want a man who will change for me. I want a man that I accept the way he is and I accept him as he is...I never want to be a woman who tries to change her man. That is not me.
He has since texted me 3x and called me 2x this morning...
Did I use the right words??? Was I too harsh?
good enough. don't leave the door open, not even the slightest. if you do, he'll cling to it and keep contacting you to try and change your mind. close the door and move on. in a couple of weeks, he'll move on too.
straightforward and to the point is ALWAYS the way to talk to guys. if you dance around and not say exactly what you mean, and especially if you leave the door open in the slightest so as not to hurt his feelings, he will think there is a chance he can change your mind and he will continue to try to do exactly that.
for example,
the wrong way: "i think we should see other people. i'd like to still be friends. there's alot i like about you, but you just don't like to do the things i like to do and i want somebody who will do those things with me."
in the above statement, you've given him the impression that all he needs to do is change and do the things you want to do and all will be happy again.
the right way: "i think we should see other people. you'll find somebody who's perfect for you, but that's not me."
in the above statement, the door is closed. he knows it's over. he might not like it, but you've made it clear that you're moving on.
you pretty much have to ignore him now and give him time to get over it. maybe send him one last text letting him know that you're moving on and will no longer take his texts or calls or e-mails.0 -
"I can change you"?! Oh man....what a doofus.. Um no.
You used the right words..he's just a moron. I'd personally ignore the calls and texts. Eventually, he'll get it.
to be fair he said "i can change for you."
ironically, the addition of that word takes him from an arrogant, stubborn douche to a wishy washy pip-squeak0 -
"I can change you"?! Oh man....what a doofus.. Um no.
You used the right words..he's just a moron. I'd personally ignore the calls and texts. Eventually, he'll get it.
to be fair he said "i can change for you."
ironically, the addition of that word takes him from an arrogant, stubborn douche to a wishy washy pip-squeak
That is exactly how I felt. I don't want a wishy-washy pipsqueak. I want a man with a backbone, who I will feel safe with. With a spinelss pushover..I feel like I would have to be the protector...soooo not happening...lol.0 -
We all know the "I can change for you" is a joke. Just hit the ignore button now.
JM0 -
Now it's all about you and me.
PS
Stick to it and ignore him.0 -
Quite obvious you were not harsh enough...& he is a creeper
Just ignore the texts/calls. If they don't stop after a few days, block the number..
this, all day every day!!!!0 -
Nothing to do with not being harsh enough, he would have acted the same or worse. What a spinless puss.
Now's the time to block.0 -
Are you new in the dating world? Cause.. this is gonna happen alot.0
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My mother tried to teach me at a very young age that you cannot change a man. I of course did not listen and married my 1st husband... and he almost killed me. Dramatic i know, but true. You cannot change people.... Don't waste your time or effort. Ignore is calls and text and move on.0
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So, I told him last night.
My exact words were..."J, you and I are 2 different people. we seem to want different things. I don't want us to waste anymore time. You deserve someone who wants to be with you and you connect with. I deserve the same...we just are not meant to be together."
His words were:..."but I can change for you...I like you and want to be with you.."
I told him, I do not want a man who will change for me. I want a man that I accept the way he is and I accept him as he is...I never want to be a woman who tries to change her man. That is not me.
He has since texted me 3x and called me 2x this morning...
Did I use the right words??? Was I too harsh?
Give him a few weeks/months. Once he finds a younger model he will leave you alone.0 -
Just hit the ignore button now.Now's the time to block.
I find it funny that people use internet lingo for this.0 -
So, I told him last night.
My exact words were..."J, you and I are 2 different people. we seem to want different things. I don't want us to waste anymore time. You deserve someone who wants to be with you and you connect with. I deserve the same...we just are not meant to be together."
His words were:..."but I can change for you...I like you and want to be with you.."
I told him, I do not want a man who will change for me. I want a man that I accept the way he is and I accept him as he is...I never want to be a woman who tries to change her man. That is not me.
He has since texted me 3x and called me 2x this morning...
Did I use the right words??? Was I too harsh?
Give him a few weeks/months. Once he finds a younger model he will leave you alone.
Your my hero!!! LOL0 -
Are you new in the dating world? Cause.. this is gonna happen alot.
My dear, I am not new to the dating world. I have had creepers and pervs....though he is a nice guy. It just pains meto hurt somone who is nice and kind...that's all. The TRUE creepers..I have no problem giving a piece of my mind...lol0 -
NOW is the right time to ignore his calls and texts.
^^This.0 -
My dear, I am not new to the dating world. I have had creepers and pervs....though he is a nice guy. It just pains meto hurt somone who is nice and kind...that's all. The TRUE creepers..I have no problem giving a piece of my mind...lol
You did it tight. You didn't lie, you weren't mean you just pointed out the facts and moved on. He'll live.
JM0 -
I find it funny that people use internet lingo for this.
My phone has a "block caller" function.My dear, I am not new to the dating world. I have had creepers and pervs....though he is a nice guy. It just pains meto hurt somone who is nice and kind...that's all. The TRUE creepers..I have no problem giving a piece of my mind...lol
This is why I like you. So many people are starting to throw around the word "creeper" to describe people who merely aren't confident. Keep labeling naive people creepers, and eventually they will turn into REAL *kitten*.0 -
My wife had this conversation with me once. I took the hint and bailed and lived with a friend and partied until she asked me to come back.0
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You did great! If he didn't get the message, then just ignore him. He will eventually.0
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just stop responding cuz that makes him think he still has a chance0
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It is really hard to let a nice guy go. I went through that with the guy I was dating my freshman year of college, and it broke my heart to break his heart. I was the wishy-washy one... he asked to remain friends, and I agreed. I finally had to end the friendship because it was clear that he wasn't moving on, even though I was already in another relationship. Stand your ground so he gets the time he needs to heal. :flowerforyou:
*edited to correct spelling0 -
You've told him what you needed to. If you feel so inclined if he keeps bothering you, send him a very clear "I thought I made myself clear the other day" text, and then just stop responding to him. Block out his number if you have to. If he can't accept it, it's now his own problem. Eventually, he'll give up :-)0
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Don't respond.0
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