I need someone to calm me down

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imagymrat
imagymrat Posts: 862 Member
in Chit-Chat
I'm about to explode, my son is going through a terrible custody battle over his 5 mos old baby boy, we received an affidavit today from the mom, and I could just drive over there right now and beat the living crap outta her. She has made serious and ridiculous allegations about my son's contact with his son. I know these are unfounded because i'm there when the visits happen, always. He has his access visits right now at a center because mom is still breast feeding..for an example, she has accused him of calloing his son a f**ing retard because according to her he could not get the baby to quiet down, and that when changing a diaper he put the diaper on backwards and when she approached him about the pain the baby was in because of his mistake, he shouted profanities at her, and threw the soiled diaper at her, landing on the die of her face...this is no joke,she's stating all this. But she has no staff willing to back her up from the center, and they are constantly supervised. My son is already on anti-depressant medication because of the stress, he pays child support, works full time and also goes to school full time where he is taking engineering in University...this is having such a negative effect on him. He sees this as hopeless and is wondering if he should just "let her win"...I'm am sooo ridiculously stupidly angry about this, and I wanna clock the b*tch....please someone...give us some hope that her nastiness will only hurt her in the end...cause it's hurting my son now...

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  • kdbell
    kdbell Posts: 37
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    I know this may not be what you want to hear right at this moment. My sister went through something a little different in that my nieces father denied she existed until recently now he wants full and complete access.. but what i want to give to you is peace of mind that I will pray for you and your son. And that that worst thing he could do is stop fighting for what is right, and what is best for his child. the only way to win is to do what is right be what is right, and know that at the end of the day God is gonna make a way. I wish you and your family the best.
  • sonnacchio
    sonnacchio Posts: 57 Member
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    Take a deep breath...

    OK - the first thing I'm going to tell you is probably what you already know...do nothing. Don't call her, don't drive by and honk, don't antagonize her. Let it go and focus on what is important: your grandson. From the sound of it, your son has been following procedure. Her accusations will only come back to bite her in the @$$ in the end. He needs to be on time for his visitation and as soon as possible file for a custody hearing. In the meantime, take the high road and start collecting character witness names and affadavits to your son's upstanding moral character.

    You may also want to start investigating how to get your own visitation with your grandson. Many judges would hear your case in a heartbeat!

    Good luck. Pray - I will, too!
  • kristinlough
    kristinlough Posts: 828 Member
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    I'm a law student, and I kinda know what you should do here, but I can't tell you as it's against the ethics requirements of my future career. What you need to do is seek an attorney's assistance for you. I assume that your son has his own counsel, but if not he needs one. Your attorney will be able to help you explore any other options that you might have as a grandparent. But calm down, take deep breaths, and even though this site is fairly anonymous, I'd probably refrain from saying anymore, just in case :wink:

    Good luck! And I promise it'll all work out.
  • themethod
    themethod Posts: 257
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    Take a deep breath...

    OK - the first thing I'm going to tell you is probably what you already know...do nothing. Don't call her, don't drive by and honk, don't antagonize her. Let it go and focus on what is important: your grandson. From the sound of it, your son has been following procedure. Her accusations will only come back to bite her in the @$$ in the end. He needs to be on time for his visitation and as soon as possible file for a custody hearing. In the meantime, take the high road and start collecting character witness names and affadavits to your son's upstanding moral character.

    You may also want to start investigating how to get your own visitation with your grandson. Many judges would hear your case in a heartbeat!

    Good luck. Pray - I will, too!

    Ditto on this. Make sure he is following every rule, as closely as possible. Get an attorney to get statements from the staff wherever the visitation is taking place that they have never witnessed any similar behavior, and mentioning the good things he does as a father. Unfortunately, the word of the mother of someone involved in the custody battle won't hold much weight with a judge, but statments from professionals involved will. I also agree that you should look into grandparent's rights. Most judges are hesitant to severe a parent's contact with a child, so don't let her statements get to you as they probably won't amount to much and she will end up looking worse in court as she has submitted false information.
  • brendac72
    brendac72 Posts: 109 Member
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    Please tell him not to give up! I don't blame you for wanting to kick her a** but don't let her win. Good luck to you, your son, & grandchild. I bet after dealing with all her b.s. you get in one hell of a workout, huh?
  • imagymrat
    imagymrat Posts: 862 Member
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    Please tell him not to give up! I don't blame you for wanting to kick her a** but don't let her win. Good luck to you, your son, & grandchild. I bet after dealing with all her b.s. you get in one hell of a workout, huh?

    omg..lol! I took up boxing when this whole thing started to unravel...it makes me feel better, I will admit. I'm a little more mellow now...but geez, this girl really gets under my skin. I'm trying so hard to stay outta this, but it's taking such a toll onmy son it just drives me mad!
  • CrazyAdventures
    CrazyAdventures Posts: 44 Member
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    I am more than familiar with things of this nature, having been through it before (both my husband and myself). The affadavit is her swearing she witnessed these acts, and unless she has corroboration, it means nothing, it's HER word. Get him to make one, you make one, the staff where the visitation happens make one, etc. He's paying her, working a job, doing right by his child, the judge will see that. Meanwhile, the judge will see her needlessly making trouble and it will reflect badly upon her. Stay the course, keep your chin up, my husband got custody, we've known other fathers to get custody, your son can, too. Message me if you need anything, okay?

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