Rant.Stress Eating. And Hope

Let me just warn you...this is a little bit of a rant...BUT...hopefully will inspire one woman in a similar situation.

I married a man that from day one got off at hurting me. I took the abuse for many many years and knew that it would only get worse....then my little miracle entered my life....our son. He gave me the strength to know that we BOTH deserved more...8 years ago...today...I left my husband...scared to death and literally with the clothes on our backs...we started over. I turned to food for comfort. It was the one thing I had complete control over. My weight inched up little by little until I was in the mid 170s and miserable.

THIS is what I did to myself for finally gaining control? Really? I was tired all the time. I felt so bad about the way I looked...but time and time again...food was my best friend.

About a year ago....after 7 years being alone and completely ok with being fluffy....I saw a pic of myself...my sister had posted to FB. I almost didnt recgonize myself. I looked pregnant. I needed to change..... OK, I am not always easy to follow....I like to think my brain is just faster than my fingers....My mom was dying with breast cancer. She begged me to finally divorce my ex...move on with my life. And yet I didn't out of fear...why rock the boat? I wasn't interested in marrying anyone....so why make the first move? OK...back to the weight loss....I started running and weight lifting...and dropped 35 pounds. I loved the way i was starting to look....had confidence beyond words. My ex contstantly put down my looks, my accomplishments....but never let him see it bothered me.

This summer...he kidnapped our son...and thankfully after threats he brought him back. Longest weekend of my life. That was the last time he saw our son. No phone calls...no visits...NOTHING. I finally decided, for my mom...for me....for my son...it was time to stand strong and file for divorce. Hardest decision I have ever had to make. I truly dont believe in divorce. But the love for my child, is stronger than anything.

Ok....back to the point. I am eating within my cals...and not stress eating to fill a void. I am stronger than any stress on me! I am very proud that I was brave enough to leave....and even prouder that I am strong enough to be good to me. Still have about 20 to go....But I can and will do it!