Anyone else with OCD?

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  • explodingalice
    explodingalice Posts: 158 Member
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    How many of you reread your posts at least a couple times before posting it to make sure it was okay? XD Guilty here.

    Every.Effing.Time. Sending work emails is a true joy.

    And I do the same thing with clocks and stuff.
  • Wezlfuss
    Wezlfuss Posts: 122 Member
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    I've never been diagnosed with OCD (have been diagnosed for anxiety/depression though), but I can relate to some of the feelings you guys have described. The stuff I've experience doesn't sound nearly as intense as some of the earlier posts, though.

    I get very irritable about things I know aren't big deals, and I worry myself to death over stuff I know most other people wouldn't think twice about. My co-workers, friends, even my family all think I'm legitimately crazy.:ohwell:

    Turning off the stove, leaving for work and then convincing myself that the house has gone up in flames because I really forgot.
    Showering up to three times a day because even the slightest feeling of sweat or grime drives me mad.
    Constantly obsessing over the fact that anyone I know could die at any time.

    All that good stuff :S

    I'm seeing a counselor, now, and am actually experiencing these kinds of thoughts less frequently. That would be my biggest peice of advice. I know it's not cheap, but if you get the opportunity, definitely try to see one.
  • MonicaW1988
    MonicaW1988 Posts: 23 Member
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    I have been diagnosed with Social Anxiety/Generalized Anxiety and some depression however I do show traits of OCD but have not been diagnosed fully for it. For me it is about being in control, having things kept clean and normally I check things (cannot sleep without the door locked in the morning) and some of my thoughts etc... good on you for sticking with MFP it's not easy but keep it up!

    My anxiety literally exhausts me to the point where I am physically and mentally tired so I know how that can be.
  • tabbykat6802
    tabbykat6802 Posts: 233 Member
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    never been diagnosed, but have had habits throughout childhood.

    My clothes go on in a certain order and right foot/arm goes in first. Door Locks must be re-checked before I go up to bed. Showering also goes in a certain order. I'm also tridecaphobic. Anytime I see that number(even clock numbers that add up to that number) I have to quickly look and find another number to look at. Also, if I'm starting to go down the driveway and that number is on the clock or if I end up dropping my kids off at school, have to wait another minute before continuing. I am afraid that bad things will happen to me. One pocket holds my cards, another one cash, etc.
  • paigeminka2
    paigeminka2 Posts: 1
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    I don't have OCD but I definitely feel OCD tendencies when it comes to MFP. Of course, not anywhere near as bad as someone diagnosed, but I'll find myself logging every little thing and getting slight anxiety when I think the measurement is wrong. Maybe it's more addiction than OCD, but I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way!
  • icimani
    icimani Posts: 1,454 Member
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    Logging calories/macros must be an OCD person's dream - or worst nightmare. I can imagine that it's a fine line between being dedicated, and being truly obsessive.
  • Verity1111
    Verity1111 Posts: 3,309 Member
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    I was just mentioning this in a separate post, and it got me thinking ... with all the people on here, I can't be the only one.

    I have OCD. Not the "oh, I'm so OCD, I have to make sure all of my books are lined up by size" kind (not that there's anything wrong with that), but the actual, I've been diagnosed by a physician and have a daily, ongoing struggle with my brain kind of OCD. I was diagnosed 14 years ago, and have tried several meds to varying degrees of success. I currently do not use medications, as all the ones I've tried had a terrible side effect to benefit ratio for me.

    This makes using something like MFP very interesting. I log everything. Yesterday I took a sip of a milkshake and found a way to log it. I weigh everything for accuracy. I find that I think about what I am going to eat and my workouts far more than I did when I was obese and eating mindlessly just to eat. And I honestly believe that once I've reached my goal, I will always need to continue to do all of these things, even though I'll be logging maintenance, in order to stay on track. I can't imagine not doing this, it seems like it's become a part of the routine my brain requires in order for me to function.

    Obviously, there is a positive side to this, but at the same time it can be a lot to deal with. Compulsions and obsessive thoughts, checking behaviors, counting - all of these can be exhausting and can ultimately inhibit quality of life. I don't feel like that is happening to me with this, and I hope I'll be able to recognize if it does.

    So - any other obsessive-compulsives out there? Are we having fun? Want to count something with me???
    Yep, but for me I also always connect nearly every detail with a life experience or memory, especially numbers. There are good and bad numbers for me. I don't take medicine at the moment either, but I plan to eventually.
  • Verity1111
    Verity1111 Posts: 3,309 Member
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    Sometimes I have to remind myself that a lot of my thoughts aren't normal. One day a friend told me it must be exhausting to live in my brain. I told her she had no idea.

    P.S. Sorry to leave but I have a class to go to now. Feel free to friend me though, I don't have any friends who actually understand the feeling of living with OCD.

    It *is* exhausting!!! (I've heard that one, too!) I'm also always surprised when people say they are thinking about nothing - how is that even possible???

    And I'll definitely go add you! And then I'll double-check to make sure I've actually done so. :)
    I can't stand that! The brain can not possibly, scientifically, think of nothing unless you are totally unconscious!
  • Verity1111
    Verity1111 Posts: 3,309 Member
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    edited per request for the poster
    If you really look at OCD it is based on life experiences and a disease that is based on people's desires and fears to be honest with you. Even when people don't realize it, OCD picks at their biggest peeves, one way or the other, and a lot of us remember things very easily. It may not be that he doesn't want to let things go and move on to enjoy life, but that everything around him connects to those memories in some way. Even how many sips or bites I take in a row remind me of the most horrible experiences and memories of my life and it is not easy to avoid or just ignore it, you know? It is the worst times of my life flashing before my eyes, so just imagine that 40 times per day from any small trigger, the number for the date it was, the color someone's hair was, the weather it was or what you ate the day it happened, making you think about the worst times you knew.
  • missjones93
    missjones93 Posts: 74 Member
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    Yep, been diagnosed 2 years now.

    Mostly picking at skin (like don't want anything on me). Don't like food to touch. Eat one thing at a time. Don't like things that aren't "correct". Proportionate is a big thing for me. There are a lot of things. The worst is how people just assume you have a cleaning disorder. Lol - nope not quite.
  • BellaBumbles
    BellaBumbles Posts: 35
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    Definitely a sufferer of OCD. Its been part of my life since I was about 10, but has recently become more aggressive. It doesn't help with dieting, though, because it has nothing to do with counting or checking things. This site does actually makes things a little bit easier because it gives me something to focus on other than my tendencies. I would honestly remain overweight forever if I could get rid of my OCD. I have no issues with how I look right now, but having OCD makes me feel ashamed.
  • Kaymart79
    Kaymart79 Posts: 28
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    I have never bee diagnosed or anything, though i get super obsessive with counting my calories and weighing in. To the point where its out of control. For example; I went out to eat for lunch with a friend today and it was pretty sad because i was on MFP app and using my phone to google searching for the calories before i ordered my meal. I could NOT order until i made sure all of my calories were counted and set correctly or i was not going to eat. I would definetly say thats a bit obsessive, atleast its in a healthy form. On the bright side MFP helps so much, wtih all the tracking, charting, counting it great to have a place to be able to log my obsessions!
  • dmpizza
    dmpizza Posts: 3,321 Member
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    Not diagnosed, but I suspect I am. I need to constantly check and recheck things.
  • katekross
    katekross Posts: 463 Member
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    Yup, I've had it for 12 years now. Up until recently I completely tried to ignore it.. or just make it "go away." I'm sure other people know what I mean :) But, recently I've started going to a counselor... I am not too thrilled about taking medications, just in general but more importantly I am a social worker, so I need to be a little worried about things. My OCD is attributed to filling my day with constant fear or worry. When I started going to counseling I was at a 9 between a scale of 1 (no worry) to 10 (I can barely leave the house). I was on a very dangerous path, I even got very nervous to go to Target. That just was not me, so I decided to let someone in on the fight. I now rate myself a 3, I will always have some worry in my life, but am starting to learn tools to help me through the day! :) I am here for support, I know the feeling too well and have been doing this too long!
  • c_tap77
    c_tap77 Posts: 189 Member
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    Logging calories/macros must be an OCD person's dream - or worst nightmare. I can imagine that it's a fine line between being dedicated, and being truly obsessive.

    Most of the time I just have to eat the same things over and over again so I don't spend hours of my day making sure everything is correct. It's really frustrating.
  • sara6795
    sara6795 Posts: 29 Member
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    OCD runs strong in my family (my grandfather actually turns lights on and off and locks and unlocks doors using his "magic number"). My mother has it when it comes to cleaning, which isn't so bad. I have struggled with certain tendencies my entire life, which change as I get older. I am finding that I am obsessed with counting calories--I check and recheck labels and my HRM constantly throughout the day. On top of this, my boyfriend developed OCD (which also runs in his family). It is far worse for him; he has a hard time controlling his urges. He has to get up to make sure the stove is off and the lights are off at night. He takes a complete hour in the shower (which is better than the 1.5 hours it used to be). His OCD is making me realize that I can control my own, but it is frustrating to live with somebody that is constantly making me late or waking me up in the middle of the night. I continue to support him, but refuse to let it slide (as per his own wishes, he always tells me, "Don't let me check the spare bedroom" or "Don't let me go out to the parking lot and check my car").
  • xNJAx
    xNJAx Posts: 170 Member
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    I was diagnosed when I was 15 and prescribed some medication (can’t remember the name of it) but refused to take it because the leaflet said they were also used as anti-depressants and I was afraid I’d get addicted to them.

    My tendencies mostly relate to numbers, counting and symmetry which I don’t mind too much, but the worst is an overwhelming fear that I might kill someone some day. I can’t walk behind someone going down stairs because I’m convinced I’ll knock the person down them and they’ll break their neck, I don’t like driving in the dark in case I run someone over because I haven’t seen them, and I have to walk on the curb if I’m walking with someone next to the road because I’m convinced I’ll trip over and knock them into the path of a car and they’ll be killed if I’m walking on the inside of them. Quite often the image of those things happening flashes into my mind and I’ll either want to cry or throw up. I also love babies, but I’m often scared to hold them in case I drop them on their head and they die.

    I’m much better now than I used to be, but I have phases (usually when I’m particularly stressed) where I really feel like I might end up in a mental health institution!

    MFP is a bit of a double-edged sword for me. On the one hand I love it because it helps me fulfil my obsessive need to count, but on the other it’s exhausting because I think about it constantly and feel like I could have a breakdown if I don’t log something or think it might not be accurate. I also have an eating problem which I think may partly stem from OCD because I couldn’t swallow food when I was a teenager unless I’d chewed it a certain number of times and in a particular pattern, so MFP can be bad for me. I’m toying with the idea of not logging over Christmas but get sweaty palms and butterflies at the thought of it!
  • woodsy0912
    woodsy0912 Posts: 323
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    Moderate OCD here.

    Listing everything. I have done that since I was a kid. Organizing and planning and micromanaging. Checking and re-checking everything. Constant fiddling.

    I think MFP works so well for me because of all of these reasons. I pre-log all of my meals for the week (including snacks and drinks) and stick to them. I tend to get a bit agitated if I have to stray off.
  • explodingalice
    explodingalice Posts: 158 Member
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    My tendencies mostly relate to numbers, counting and symmetry which I don’t mind too much, but the worst is an overwhelming fear that I might kill someone some day. I can’t walk behind someone going down stairs because I’m convinced I’ll knock the person down them and they’ll break their neck, I don’t like driving in the dark in case I run someone over because I haven’t seen them, and I have to walk on the curb if I’m walking with someone next to the road because I’m convinced I’ll trip over and knock them into the path of a car and they’ll be killed if I’m walking on the inside of them. Quite often the image of those things happening flashes into my mind and I’ll either want to cry or throw up. I also love babies, but I’m often scared to hold them in case I drop them on their head and they die.

    I’m much better now than I used to be, but I have phases (usually when I’m particularly stressed) where I really feel like I might end up in a mental health institution!

    MFP is a bit of a double-edged sword for me. On the one hand I love it because it helps me fulfil my obsessive need to count, but on the other it’s exhausting because I think about it constantly and feel like I could have a breakdown if I don’t log something or think it might not be accurate. I also have an eating problem which I think may partly stem from OCD because I couldn’t swallow food when I was a teenager unless I’d chewed it a certain number of times and in a particular pattern, so MFP can be bad for me. I’m toying with the idea of not logging over Christmas but get sweaty palms and butterflies at the thought of it!

    OK, so first of all, I have the killing someone thing, too, kinda. I've gotten better but there have been times in my life where I would be driving down the street and I would see a pedestrian. A minute or two later, my mind would say, "Did you hit that guy with your car?" And I couldn't remember *not* hitting him. So I would become convinced I had. And I would have to drive back down the street and try to find him, or else I would worry all day that I had hit him and he was dying.

    I also used to have to do the counting/patterned chews. A lot of this has decreased as I have gotten older and learned to recognize what I am doing and try to stop it, but sometimes it feels like it is all under the surface. I worry sometimes that having OCD and doing something like this puts you at risk for developing an eating disorder...
  • explodingalice
    explodingalice Posts: 158 Member
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    Moderate OCD here.

    Listing everything. I have done that since I was a kid. Organizing and planning and micromanaging. Checking and re-checking everything. Constant fiddling.

    I think MFP works so well for me because of all of these reasons. I pre-log all of my meals for the week (including snacks and drinks) and stick to them. I tend to get a bit agitated if I have to stray off.

    I pre-log as well, and I also do like an earlier poster mentioned. I can't order in a restaurant until I'm certain that I've gotten all the possible calories logged and know how it will all fit in with my day. Healthy outcome, but mentally exhausting.

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