Intimidated by the men in the weight section of gym!
beautmel
Posts: 56
So I've just started weight training and for my first few sessions the weights area (that is still a bit of a foreign area for me) was nice and quiet. Got to the gym last night, it was packed with BIG, scary-looking blokes, all prancing around and not doing a great deal.
I felt like they were ALL staring at me and probably thinking "what is she doing in here"
What advice can all the weight training females on here give me.. I really want to stick to doing this programme but I really found the experience very off-putting last night. Squatting especially!
I felt like they were ALL staring at me and probably thinking "what is she doing in here"
What advice can all the weight training females on here give me.. I really want to stick to doing this programme but I really found the experience very off-putting last night. Squatting especially!
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Replies
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They probably think that you are hot, I doubt they are thinking "what is she doing in here". Nothing to worry about, be strong and just do it. Don't let this put you off, weight lifting is great for everyone.
Good luck!0 -
Do you wear short shorts?0
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Here is how I managed... I put in headphones turned up my music to loud levels did my program and pretended like no one was there. I promise you... if you stick to it they will come to respect you and you will become a part of the normal scene. Just don't be disturbed when people get comfortable and interrupt your music and routine to give you some "tips"
just stick with it girl! 0 -
IMO..... the hell with them. we all have to start somewhere and you belong there just as much as they do. i was once in your shoes. about 10 years ago. didnt know anything bout anything!!!!! stick with it my friend!!!0
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Here is how I managed... I put in headphones turned up my music to loud levels did my program and pretended like no one was there. I promise you... if you stick to it they will come to respect you and you will become a part of the normal scene.
Good advice!!0 -
I do exactly the same thing. Music on super loud and pretend am invisible. Normally there are only a couple of guys in late when I do weights. Although am sure they were all working out near the door to the cardio area where I was running in lycra. I just ignore them. Unless they actually say hi. I try to not let it weird me out.0
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Hell, I'm a guy, and I've always been intimidated by the weight lifters in the gym, but I was always the "fat bloke who couldn't lift much".
I agree with the suggestions to create your own personal bubble, and that if they are looking at you, they're probably checking you out. Or depending on how much you lift, impressed/intimidated by you.
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IMO..... the hell with them. we all have to start somewhere and you belong there just as much as they do. i was once in your shoes. about 10 years ago. didnt know anything bout anything!!!!! stick with it my friend!!!
Yep this guy is bang on, I'm a guy and fairly fit but I also get intimidated by these guys and always stayed away, then my PT gave me some work to do in the area and I just started going in. Music up, focus on me and got on with it, was all fine. And now I've spent more time in there they are all alright really, just there for different reasons.
Just go for it!0 -
Just do your thing, you aren't going to get kicked out.
I take my notebook and write down my weights/reps and that keeps me busy between sets.
If you need help ask one of the guys, they'll probably be pretty friendly.0 -
Hmm i know what u mean, we have a womens and mens separate weights room, but typically the womens weights are baby weights and pink ..which isnt great
i just get on with my own business and ignore everyone...it does help that my boyfriend is one of the big muscley guys prancing about though. Lol0 -
Don't worry about it. They're all staring at each other too (and pretending not to) and they really only have an issue with the person using the kit they want to be on themselves at the time. Take your turn, do your bit with the kit and move on.
Fix it in your mind - when you're in the weights area, walk around like you're boss. It'll set you up to be boss of the iron too which is all that matters. If they're not doing a great deal and you're squatting then they need to get out of your way!0 -
yes..... but im a girl...better take a better look my friend!!!:noway: :laugh:IMO..... the hell with them. we all have to start somewhere and you belong there just as much as they do. i was once in your shoes. about 10 years ago. didnt know anything bout anything!!!!! stick with it my friend!!!
Yep this guy is bang on, I'm a guy and fairly fit but I also get intimidated by these guys and always stayed away, then my PT gave me some work to do in the area and I just started going in. Music up, focus on me and got on with it, was all fine. And now I've spent more time in there they are all alright really, just there for different reasons.
Just go for it!0 -
Just do your thing, you aren't going to get kicked out.
I take my notebook and write down my weights/reps and that keeps me busy between sets.
If you need help ask one of the guys, they'll probably be pretty friendly.
Yup to all of this! I use my phone to keep track of my lifting sessions so am focused on that between sets, and every time I've need to speak to the guys in the lifting section (if they're done with equipment, weight etc) they're always really nice. The odd looks I get are mainly from the cardio bunnies!0 -
Yep, I felt like this when I started lifting. It wasn't me being paranoid, they were watching (and one of the PTs is/was the worst offender). I found it very intimidating, but dealt with it by always wearing my i-pod, and being quite firm about not being pushed of any kit. The regulars are used to me now, find me a bit intimidating, but they accept my presence. I still get the watchers occassionally, but they are normally newbies or guys that don't work out too often. Its no wonder that there are only a handful of women in my gym using the weights area.0
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yes..... but im a girl...better take a better look my friend!!!:noway: :laugh:
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hahaha, so sorry. It was a vert lazy glance at your profile pic on my small phone screen! Huge apologies! Here I am trying to post a nice post and offend someone! D'oh!0 -
Just go in there and do your thing and dont even think about it.0
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One of the best investments I've made for myself is to hire a personal trainer. Or even use the complimentary training session that a lot of gyms offer. I know how to use a lot of the machines and weights from the past, but the gym I'm at now, I can count on one hand how many women go to the weight area. He's helped me understand how to use some of the machines I've never used before, and the "guys" know I'm as serious as they are with getting toned.
In fact, I think I work harder than some of the men in my gym who only concentrate on upper body and have the skinniest legs I've ever seen. For me, it's a whole body workout, top to bottom. When my trainer isn't with me, I put on my headphones, do my sets, and have even noticed some people imitating me. So I must be doing something right.0 -
Good for you for weight training even if you were uncomfortable! You get major kudos! My reccomendation is to either try a different time, maybe it would not be as full of people standing around? Or maybe try to find a local Curves or womens gym? If neither of those work out for you walk in confident and show those guys that they should not mess with you because you have tickets to the gun show! LOL Weight training is so great dont get discouraged hope you can figure out what you need to do! Good luck! 0
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I go to the gym late at night. Mostly cuz that's the time I have bu it really helps with the scary muscley guys on the weights.0
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You said you 'feel' like they are all watching you, but were they 'actually' watching you. There might have been a few stares but that's prob cos they find a women lifting weights hot. Remember, those guys are weight lifters, they know that lifting iron is important for everyone to do as part of an exercise routine. So whether you are scrawny or bulky, they would feel like you belong there. They are more likely to 'look down' on you if you were on the treadmill. I wouldn't worry about it at all.0
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The secret is to do lots of squats, after a short while you will be able to squat a moderate amount, but as 90% of guys in weight areas only bench and curl, and make all kinds of excuses not to squat, such as bad knees etc... they will be intimidated by your squat and the tables will have turned!0
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1: Most of the "prancing around" is rest periods between sets. It's not uncommon when lifting heavy to have to rest longer than it takes to actually lift. Sitting is no good, you have to keep your blood flow up, so you gotta just walk a bit.
2: Don't let what you think complete strangers are thinking get in the way of your fitness. The only thing standing between you and your goals is the bull**** excuses you make for yourself.
3: People look at other people. We infer a lot from looks, posture, body language. Friend or foe? It's part of the reason we are still around as a species. So what? Last time I checked a look never hurt anybody.
4: Co-opt one of the big scary guys. Ask for a spot, or a question about technique. Be the dominate force. You do know that one of the main reasons men workout is so they will be attractive to the opposite sex right? They are probably just as worried about what you think of them!0 -
1: Most of the "prancing around" is rest periods between sets. It's not uncommon when lifting heavy to have to rest longer than it takes to actually lift. Sitting is no good, you have to keep your blood flow up, so you gotta just walk a bit.
2: Don't let what you think complete strangers are thinking get in the way of your fitness. The only thing standing between you and your goals is the bull**** excuses you make for yourself.
3: People look at other people. We infer a lot from looks, posture, body language. Friend or foe? It's part of the reason we are still around as a species. So what? Last time I checked a look never hurt anybody.
4: Co-opt one of the big scary guys. Ask for a spot, or a question about technique. Be the dominate force. You do know that one of the main reasons men workout is so they will be attractive to the opposite sex right? They are probably just as worried about what you think of them!
1.- This was quite possibly the case but in the time I was there (30min) 3 of these guys did absolutely nothing. Long rest perhaps.
I'm not trying to make excuses, I'm simply wanting advice on how to continue so that I feel comfortable enough NOT to make any excuses for myself. I'm new to all this as I am sure you were at one stage or another.
4.- Maybe I wll do that- thanks for your advice!
pyrowill- They were looking, after my first set I actually saw one guy elbow the other one to turn to have a look!
Oh and I don't wear shorts! I wear long lycra leggings.
Skypie- thank you for your encouragement, I really appreciate it.
Thanks everyone! I'm going to do the ipod thing I think and I guess the more time I spend in the weights section the easier and more familiar it will get. Plus I will get STRONG so I can kick some *kitten* if I need to. :laugh:0 -
Put your ***** face on and don't mind anyone or anything. Plus if they're looking it's probably for other reasons.0
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You are there to train, not to care about what others do, male or female. Yeah they might be looking, and thinking you look finnne when you do a squat, i know because i would be one of those guys, it lasts about 3 seconds in our heads then we could give 2 sh*ts about you. If any of them try to hit on you, tell them to *kitten* off, more then likely you will get away with it because there is always the bigger guy to pull the other ones back into line.0
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they starring at u and thinking " that *kitten*" not " what is she doing here" lol TRUE STORY
men dont try intimidate women , unless they gay0 -
I wouldn't be so blunt but I agree. As long as you're putting in work, no one will care.You are there to train, not to care about what others do, male or female. Yeah they might be looking, and thinking you look finnne when you do a squat, i know because i would be one of those guys, it lasts about 3 seconds in our heads then we could give 2 sh*ts about you. If any of them try to hit on you, tell them to *kitten* off, more then likely you will get away with it because there is always the bigger guy to pull the other ones back into line.
I seen one of the greatest sights the other day. A lady squatting 315, *kitten* to ground. Most guys can't even do that.0 -
Yup. It's very unusual to see women in the weights section in the UK, but the ones that are there regularly get the same respect as everyone else.
I wouldn't be so blunt but I agree. As long as you're putting in work, no one will care.You are there to train, not to care about what others do, male or female. Yeah they might be looking, and thinking you look finnne when you do a squat, i know because i would be one of those guys, it lasts about 3 seconds in our heads then we could give 2 sh*ts about you. If any of them try to hit on you, tell them to *kitten* off, more then likely you will get away with it because there is always the bigger guy to pull the other ones back into line.
I seen one of the greatest sights the other day. A lady squatting 315, *kitten* to ground. Most guys can't even do that.
Work hard, and nobody cares whether you have to two love nuts hanging between your legs.0 -
So I've just started weight training and for my first few sessions the weights area (that is still a bit of a foreign area for me) was nice and quiet. Got to the gym last night, it was packed with BIG, scary-looking blokes, all prancing around and not doing a great deal.
I felt like they were ALL staring at me and probably thinking "what is she doing in here"
What advice can all the weight training females on here give me.. I really want to stick to doing this programme but I really found the experience very off-putting last night. Squatting especially!
just get in there and DO it...
I've been in the weights area for about 4-6 weeks, and have had some interesting experiences.
Most of the time the guys are really nice. The last time there was a guy on the smith machine before me, he offered to unload and reload the bar for me...except when he heard i was a noob, he only loaded 20# on the bar, and I was squatting at least 2x that at the time
I caught some old guy ( a regular) watching my squat while he was resting...so I called him out and asked him to check my form
I have had other members stop me on my way out and tell me they saw how hard I was working
I think I saw the 22 year old trainer checking out my squat last week ( gotta smile that he wanted to check out this obese old lady's squat)
Yesterday I found out that the fitness monitor ( like a step below a trainer) has watched me several times and I didn't know it. He approached me once to complement me on my squat weight...then yesterday he said my form was spot on.
I think you just have to wrap your head around the fact that they *might* look at you like you are a piece of meat the first few times you are in there...but once they can see what you can DO, you'll probably graduate to "little sister" and the regulars will treat you with respect and make sure other people do too. Especially if you start lifting more than they do 0 -
Just do your thing, you aren't going to get kicked out.
I take my notebook and write down my weights/reps and that keeps me busy between sets.
If you need help ask one of the guys, they'll probably be pretty friendly.
TOTALLY.
I know how terrifying it is - as a seriously fat girl (size 24) I felt out of place on a treadmill, let alone in the "dude weights" section. However, the program I'm on (NROLFW) says I need to lift heavy so I'm going to do it. At first, I kept having to walk out of the area on my "rest" breaks because I felt so judged and uncertain. Then a few things happened that completely changed my perspective.
1) After three weeks I was lifting heavier than quite a few of the prancing turkeys you mention. That gave me confidence.
2) One particularly burly, suuuuper buff guy (the alpha intimidator as I thought of him) actually come up to me and commended me - apparently he'd noticed how quickly I was progressing and wanted to give me props on beating my PB and "not wasting your effort on the cardio crap but actually LIFTING"... and
3) One night when I was feeling particularly lacking in confidence a young, buff guy kept giving me weird looks and acting shifty. Thinking he was pissed I was using 'his' weights or just generally disgusted by my existence, I had gathered up the nerve to say "what the hell are you staring at" when he finally walked straight past me to the guy behind me and started trying to (he was very longwinded and unsure) ask him out.
Needless to say... the more time you spend in there, the more weight you're lifting and the more you give those boys the benefit of the doubt, the sooner you'll realise you belong in there just as much as they do
GOOD LUCK! 0
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