Well that's depressing: When your pet was dying...
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This thread has me in tears...
I love the rainbow bridge poem and website, gets me every time.
I know my Blackie is there waiting for me.0 -
this is what I am going through....... can't add much...... not much makes me feel better.... except time....... maybe a keepsake of some kind...... paw print with a photo? whatever you do don't get them all dogs go to heaven or old yeller.
*hug*0 -
Really nothing makes someone feel better except understanding that this pet is/was a part of the family and that the heartbreak they are experiencing is real. The worst thing you can say is "it's just a dog". It's not just a dog, it's a cherished and beloved member of the family and their passing leaves a big hole.
^^This.
Two of the three saddest things I've experienced was losing pets. The other was my grandpa. Pets really are family members to most people.
I had one cat that we had to put down. He was very old and got sick and was in pain. My mom and I went together as he had been the family cat. It was really hard and we both just sat in the car and cried and hugged after. I was prepared for that one, so even though it was hard and horribly sad, I handled it pretty well. As a family we just talked about him and told stories and I wrote a poem.
My other cat who was the first pet I had as an adult that was all mine, died suddenly in her sleep at the age of 5. I found her when I got home from work and it was such a shock I was hysterical. I called my mom and cried and told her she was dead. She immediately drove over to my place, bundled up my cat, told me to pack an overnight bag, and took me to her house, with the body in a box in the trunk. She made me tea, consoled me and took the body to the vet to be cremated. This helped immensely as I just couldn't deal with it at the time. She also got them to do a ceramic pawprint so I have a keepsake. I keep it in a drawer and look at it occasionally because it makes me sad so I don't display it.
I couldn't go home to my empty apartment so I stayed with my mom for two nights. My friend came over and had tea with me and just let me cry and talk about her and how much I would miss her. A couple people gave me cards and that was very appreciated.
However, I had a coworker who told me to "get over it, it's just a cat" which of course led to me bawling in the bathroom for 15 minutes. I hated her for that (among other things).
So, in summary, a memento, listening, validating her feelings and offering to do anything you can to help. If your friend has to put the dog down, maybe offer to drive as she probably won't be able to, or something like that. Good for you for being such a good friend.0 -
Corny but she may like it.
RainbowBridge.com
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
Author unknown...
My friend sent this to me when my dog passed away... I still miss her terribly, it's been 6 months and it's just not the same w/o her around. /hugs for you during this tough time
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I took my mom's dog to the vet for him to be put down... The vet is a family friend of ours. The conversation went something like this.
Vet- "When I give him the, you know... the shot, you might want to stand back, I think demons might shoot out of this dog."
*after he does it he hugs my mom and tells her he's with my dad now (dad died a long time ago)*
My mom bursts into tears and says something like, "all he gets to eat now is Eggo waffles!"
(all my dad could really cook was waffles without lighting the house on fire)
...and people wonder why I don't really come out from under my rock...:huh:0 -
OK, I read as many of the posts as I could but now I can't stop crying.
I was 19yrs old when we had to put down my kitty. He was 13 yrs old and my baby. My mom already had her dog in a pet cemetery, so we put my cat there too. Family members who didn't even really like the cat all came for a little 'burial ceremony'. It meant a lot.0 -
I lost my sweet little 6 year old cat to leukemia less than 2 weeks ago. Knowing that my friends understood my pain meant the world to me.
This is from my blog:
When a loved one passes away, we expect the world to stop, because our world has. It almost seems disrespectful that people go on with their lives, laughing and fighting and ****ing, as if everything hasn't changed forever, when for us, it has.
When a beloved animal dies, there is no gathering of loved ones to mourn the loss. No ceremony. No commiseration and bittersweet reminiscence. There are apologies from compassionate friends, but mostly, we are left to grieve alone. Because they lived with us, there is not a square inch of our homes that doesn't remind of our lost companions. We are mired in memories. We sometimes see them in periphery in a familiar place, where they would spend hours, curled up and cozy, safe and loved.
In time, the wound heals, but the scar tissue is always tender, always delicate, and always easily opened again. Today, I miss the sweetest, gentlest, most unabashedly loving creature I have ever known.
And my heart is broken.0 -
Hugs helped a lot when my dog passed...this was over 20 years ago. She was the only dog I'd ever had and probably ever will have. A yellow lab. Also talking about her with anyone who knew her and reviewing memories of her life was comforting to me.0
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Leave them alone if they have a very special bond with their animal.
I like to be left alone, so I can spend as much time praising and loving my pet as possible in their short amount of time left.
**Completely based on personal experience though.**0 -
I lost my sweet little 6 year old cat to leukemia less than 2 weeks ago. Knowing that my friends understood my pain meant the world to me.
This is from my blog:
When a loved one passes away, we expect the world to stop, because our world has. It almost seems disrespectful that people go on with their lives, laughing and fighting and ****ing, as if everything hasn't changed forever, when for us, it has.
When a beloved animal dies, there is no gathering of loved ones to mourn the loss. No ceremony. No commiseration and bittersweet reminiscence. There are apologies from compassionate friends, but mostly, we are left to grieve alone. Because they lived with us, there is not a square inch of our homes that doesn't remind of our lost companions. We are mired in memories. We sometimes see them in periphery in a familiar place, where they would spend hours, curled up and cozy, safe and loved.
In time, the wound heals, but the scar tissue is always tender, always delicate, and always easily opened again. Today, I miss the sweetest, gentlest, most unabashedly loving creature I have ever known.
And my heart is broken.
This is beautiful. I am so sorry for your loss. {{{HUGS}}} I lost my sweet baby girl, EQ (kitty) 6 days ago and the only things really helping me right now are hugs, putting together pictures/memorials, and talking about her with whomever will listen. I would love to receive cards as well, but so far have only gotten one from the crematory where she was sent and that made me burst into tears because I thought it was a Christmas card.
OP: Just be patient with your friend and allow her to talk about her fur baby as much as she needs to. Our pets are such an important part of our lives and our family that it's only natural to grieve.0 -
Whenever a friend's pet passes, I make a donation in memory of that pet to their local SPCA/Humane Society (if it was a mixed breed) or to a rescue group that specializes in their pet's breed. My aunt and uncle's beloved lab Summer passed away suddenly this summer, so I donated $50 to a lab rescue near their town in memory of Summer. That way, you are helping save lives in memory of the life that passed.
Also, I have a framed printout of this poem with a picture of my lab/akita mix that passed several years ago:
"I Loved You Best" by Jim Willis
So this is where we part, My Friend,
and you'll run on, around the bend,
gone from sight, but not from mind,
new pleasures there you'll surely find.
I will go on, I'll find the strength,
life measures quality, not its length.
One long embrace before you leave,
share one last look, before I grieve.
There are others, that much is true,
but they be they, and they aren't you.
And I, fair, impartial, or so I thought,
will remember well all you've taught.
Your place I'll hold, you will be missed,
the fur I stroked, the nose I kissed.
And as you journey to your final rest,
take with you this...I loved you best.0 -
My dog passed away this past spring, I was devastated. A good friend of mine sent me a sympathy card with a donation to a local animal shelter in my dogs name. That meant a lot to me. I still really miss my dog though, she was the best.0
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Whenever a friend's pet passes, I make a donation in memory of that pet to their local SPCA/Humane Society (if it was a mixed breed) or to a rescue group that specializes in their pet's breed. My aunt and uncle's beloved lab Summer passed away suddenly this summer, so I donated $50 to a lab rescue near their town in memory of Summer. That way, you are helping save lives in memory of the life that passed.
Also, I have a framed printout of this poem with a picture of my lab/akita mix that passed several years ago:
"I Loved You Best" by Jim Willis
So this is where we part, My Friend,
and you'll run on, around the bend,
gone from sight, but not from mind,
new pleasures there you'll surely find.
I will go on, I'll find the strength,
life measures quality, not its length.
One long embrace before you leave,
share one last look, before I grieve.
There are others, that much is true,
but they be they, and they aren't you.
And I, fair, impartial, or so I thought,
will remember well all you've taught.
Your place I'll hold, you will be missed,
the fur I stroked, the nose I kissed.
And as you journey to your final rest,
take with you this...I loved you best.
OMG - this is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing!0 -
The nicest thing someone said to me went like this:
Go over how good your friend took care of the dog and how he/she has a knack with animals. Then say, I know that now is not the time for you to have a new pet. You need to grieve the loss of this one, and that's ok. But, I do hope that you get another dog one day and that dog will be as lucky as dog x to have you as his owner.0 -
What a thread – I’m sobbing terribly! I feel all your pain. This hits very close to home. Some of the worst pain I’ve had in my life has been associated with the death of a pet(s); a horse when I was a child – a golden retriever “Buck” when I was in my 20’s; and
... as I type this I am lucky to share my life with the best golden retriever - “Roscoe”!! He's my boy!! We have 2 other dogs; but Roscoe is my baby. He’s 14 – will be 15 on April 15th. He’s been with me through some of the worst times of my life – cheating husband/rotten end to a marriage, ugly divorce, death of my closest /most important relative, loneliness, new man and now husband. I’ve needed him every step of the way and not once had he needed anything more than a lovin’ pat and kind words... and perhaps a few treats
I DREAD the day …
So, two years ago my husband (the good one) gave me a book “Old Dogs: Are the Best Dogs” (http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/old-dogs-gene-weingarten/1112397975) I still haven’t been able to read the entire book; but I decided, when the time is right, I will create a similar book about Roscoe. Not to publish – just for me – to comfort me. I’ll keep it by my bedside . . . exactly where he likes to sleep.0 -
My dog died two weeks ago.the worst is when people go on and on and on and on about how cute their dog is, and how it swims, how good it is with children etc. I'm sorry,i know life goes on,but give me a few days. That happened to me.
The best thing anyone did, was say how sorry they were, then change the subject and get me thinking of happier things. Maybe a hug too.0 -
My parents lost their dog at the end of October.... I am having a painting of him made for them for Christmas as I know they haven't many photos of him 0
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My friend gave me a laminated picture of each of my last two dogs that passed away. She said that She knew we were sad but everyone that knew ours dogs would miss them and that everyone had good memories of our dogs. All we can do now is hold on to those memories forever. Damn is someone cutting onions in my office right now!0
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Aww how sad for them. I agree with what someone else said, have a photo album made for them. You can to go shutterfly or walgreens and have a small one made for not much $. Or just get photos from them (steal them from FB if you can. lol ) put them in a small album and creatively write the dogs name on the front? Or use some of that scrapbooking 'stuff'.
When my old yellow lab, Hayley, died from cancer, my daughter had a Christmas ornament made for me tht has her picture on it. I loved it!
Also, when you tell them you are sorry, remind them of how pets are not just pets, they are family members and are missed as much and in many cases, even MORE than family.
<hugs> for your friend!0 -
The best thing someone said to me when my cat (who was with me for over 14 years) died was to tell me that when I feel really sad, to think of something funny my cat did (there are a lot of those!) or remember how happy he was, and focus on the good memories instead of on how much I miss him.
The worst thing someone can say is suggest getting a new pet, as if my cat was replaceable, or "it was just a cat". If someone truly doesn't get how important and loved a pet was, they don't need to talk to me at all.0 -
I lost my beloved dog on October 2nd. It seems that some people expect you to get over it in a week because it was "only a dog." It is over 2 months now, and it is very nice when friends and family still ask how I am doing. It also helps when they tell me how sweet and wonderful she was and how they loved her too. We don't have to talk about her all day, just acknowledge that she was an important part of our lives. It means so much.
My profile picture is her sister, who is still with me.
I think you are a great person to care about your friend this way.
edit to add: Agree with above poster that the WORST thing for people to do is ask if you will be getting another dog. A few people said that and it really angered me.0 -
Treat me kindly, my beloved friend, for no heart in all the world
is more grateful for kindness than the loving heart of me.
Do not break my spirit with a stick, for though I should lick your
hand between blows, your patience and understanding will more
quickly teach me the things you would have me learn.
Speak to me often, for your voice is the world's sweetest music,
as you must know by the fierce wagging of my tail when your
footstep falls upon my waiting ear.
Please take me inside when it is cold and wet, for I am a domesticated
animal, no longer accustomed to bitter elements. I ask no greater
glory than the privilege of sitting at your feet beside the hearth.
Keep my pan filled with fresh water, for I cannot tell you when I suffer thirst.
Feed me clean food that I may stay well, to romp and play and do
your bidding, to walk by your side, and stand ready, willing and able
to protect you with my life, should your life be in danger.
And, my friend, when I am very old, and I no longer enjoy good health,
hearing and sight, do make heroic efforts to keep me going. I am not
having any fun.
Please see that my trusting life is taken gently. I shall leave this Earth
knowing with the last breath I draw that my fate was always safest in
your hands0 -
That was amazing rude! I also had a neighbor who told me, the day I buried my beautiful yellow lab, that she had rat terrier puppies born that same day, in case I wanted to buy one. If she only knew how much I hated her annoying, loud, uncontrolled noisemaking, dogs that she doesn't even care about! Even my lab hated her dogs and would have eaten one if she could! I wanted to punch her.My dog died two weeks ago. My bff did the worst thing. She went on and on and on and on about how cute her dog is, and about the dogs training, and how it swam etc.
The best thing anyone did, was say how sorry they were, then change the subject and get me thinking of happier things. Maybe a hug too.0 -
The worst thing that someone did was when my family dog died, that had been in the family my entire life...my boyfriend at the time bought me one of those stupid toy robot dogs to "make me feel better"...it did the opposite.0
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sending hugs to all those who've lost their pets.. my boyfriend went through this a couple years ago when they had to put his dog down and i found it very hard to console him, some great advice on here!0
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My cat that I'd had since I was about 12 years old (I'm 25 now), recently passed away. My best friend Belinda, (Kelogik on here), made me a cross stitch of a kitty and framed it for me. Also added my cat's name to it. It was the sweetest thing. It made me cry.
Here's a pic of it
I hung it and added a couple photos of me and my kitty around it
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We just had to put our dog down on Tuesday. A friend on Facebook (who lost her own down a month ago) had this posted today. i thought it was so sweet.
OMG... *sob*
Now I am at work crying. :sad:0 -
Nothing will make her feel better. Just say you can see how much she loves her dog and that she is indeed a great dog. Time is the only thing that will help her. I went through this 3 years ago. I couldn't talk about my dog without crying for well over a year.0
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I came across this email from someone - they had found this story and I think it is very sweet. Kind of a "Pay It Forward" story - or maybe it was God - they never found out who wrote it. It comforts me immensely whenever I miss my cat Pebbles (we had to put her down this past May at the age of 15 due to renal failure).
"This is one of the kindest things I've ever experienced.
I have no way to know who sent it, but there is a kind soul working in
the dead letter office of the US postal service.
Our 14 year old dog, Abbey, died last month.
The day after she died, my 4 year old daughter Meredith was crying and
talking about how much she missed Abbey. She asked if we could write a
letter to God so that when Abbey got to heaven, God would recognize her.
I told her that I thought we could, so she dictated these words:
Dear God,
Will you please take care of my dog? She died yesterday and is with
you in heaven. I miss her very much. I am happy that you let me have
her as my dog even though she got sick. I hope you will play with her.
She likes to play with balls and to swim.. I am sending a picture of
her so when you see her you will know that she is my dog. I really
miss her.
Love, Meredith.
We put the letter in an envelope with a picture of Abbey and Meredith
and addressed it to God/Heaven.
We put our return address on it.
Then Meredith pasted several stamps on the front of the envelope
because she said it would take lots of stamps to get the letter all
the way to heaven.
That afternoon she dropped it into the letter box at the post office.
A few days later, she asked if God had gotten the letter yet. I told
her that I thought He had.
Yesterday, there was a package wrapped in gold paper on our front
porch addressed, "To Meredith" in an unfamiliar hand. Meredith opened
it. Inside was a book by Mr Rogers called, "When a Pet Dies."
Taped to the inside front cover was the letter we had written to God
in its opened envelope.
On the opposite page was the picture of Abbey & Meredith and this note:
Dear Meredith,
Abbey arrived safely in heaven.
Having the picture was a big help. I recognized Abbey right away.
Abbey isn't sick anymore. Her spirit is here with me, just like it
stays in your heart. Abbey loved being your dog. Since we don't need
our bodies in heaven, I don't have any pockets to keep your picture
in, so I am sending it back to you in this little book for you to
keep and have something to remember Abbey by.
Thank you for the beautiful letter and thank your mother for helping
you write it and sending it to me.What a wonderful mother you have. I
picked her especially for you. I send my blessings every day and
remember that I love you very much.
By the way, I am wherever there is love.
Love, God"0 -
I think anything is nice for something like that because generally its not acknowledged at all0
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