Should I just give up on her?

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  • NCchar130
    NCchar130 Posts: 955 Member
    90 percent of the time when that person hears "exercise", they're no longer interested anyway, because they were sure my weight loss involved a pill or weird diet.

    I have noticed this too! It's so weird. Even when I follow that up with an explanation that if weight loss alone is the goal, exercise isn't required. (I know it's the best way for health and a whole lot of other reasons, and it's a big part of what I'm doing, but truthfully not necessary just for weight loss). Either their eyes glaze over when I say "diet + exercise" is how I did it. Or, they think the exercise part was the big key and therefore, since they hate exercise, they'll never lose. Somebody on MFP said the other day in a forum post that weight loss is 'simple but not easy.' I thought that was sort of profound.
  • Natihilator
    Natihilator Posts: 1,778 Member
    She seems to hate me for it right now so should I just forget it?

    Honestly? Yes.

    Because you can't do this for her, everyone has to want it for themselves. You seem to be very gentle and inoffensive with motivating her, and if she is pushing you away when you are trying to keep her on track, especially so early in the game, it seems to me she just isn't ready and there's not much else you can offer her, besides setting a great example for her with your own weight loss.

    I avoided the scale for 10 years, and it lead to me putting on an extra 70lbs., so it took me a long time to face the music. After a couple false starts and despite help from others along the way, it took a while before something clicked for me, hopefully your friend gets that click too.
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
    90 percent of the time when that person hears "exercise", they're no longer interested anyway, because they were sure my weight loss involved a pill or weird diet.

    I have noticed this too! It's so weird. Even when I follow that up with an explanation that if weight loss alone is the goal, exercise isn't required. (I know it's the best way for health and a whole lot of other reasons, and it's a big part of what I'm doing, but truthfully not necessary just for weight loss). Either their eyes glaze over when I say "diet + exercise" is how I did it. Or, they think the exercise part was the big key and therefore, since they hate exercise, they'll never lose. Somebody on MFP said the other day in a forum post that weight loss is 'simple but not easy.' I thought that was sort of profound.

    It actually is necessary for me. I don't have to do a lot of exercise but I have to do something.. walk at least 20 minutes 3 times a week or I just don't lose, or I bounce up and down 3 pounds.

    I'm tired of the 3 pound bounce though, I don't like the shape I'm in after losing by cardio, and I have no room at home to set up a weight bench so i joined a gym again.
    And I haven't been able to go even once yet because I caught the flu. :grumble:
  • Natihilator
    Natihilator Posts: 1,778 Member

    It actually is necessary for me. I don't have to do a lot of exercise but I have to do something.. walk at least 20 minutes 3 times a week or I just don't lose, or I bounce up and down 3 pounds.

    I'm tired of the 3 pound bounce though, I don't like the shape I'm in after losing by cardio, and I have no room at home to set up a weight bench so i joined a gym again.
    And I haven't been able to go even once yet because I caught the flu. :grumble:

    Are you me? I know they say this is 80% diet but if I'm not working it out, no loss, despite my eating in a deficit. I'm starting to come down with something right now and its making me SO MAD because it means no gym time :(
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member

    It actually is necessary for me. I don't have to do a lot of exercise but I have to do something.. walk at least 20 minutes 3 times a week or I just don't lose, or I bounce up and down 3 pounds.

    I'm tired of the 3 pound bounce though, I don't like the shape I'm in after losing by cardio, and I have no room at home to set up a weight bench so i joined a gym again.
    And I haven't been able to go even once yet because I caught the flu. :grumble:

    Are you me? I know they say this is 80% diet but if I'm not working it out, no loss, despite my eating in a deficit. I'm starting to come down with something right now and its making me SO MAD because it means no gym time :(

    Well I'm sorry your life has been mirroring mine because this week has sucked! lol :sick:
  • Ladysquire
    Ladysquire Posts: 61 Member
    She got on the scales!!
    She weighed in at more than when we started so I have a feeling she's going to give up. I told her it wasn't the end of the world and it was great she got on the scale because now she knows where she's at and what she has to do.

    I'll leave it at that though and won't talk about it anymore.

    I will however continue with mine :)

    Oh and I agree on the no excercise thing. I have to get active or not much happens on the scale :(
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
    if it plays out the way it typically does, 4 months from now she'll be pissed at herself for doing nothing and probably gaining weight over the winter, she'll be totally envious of you for losing weight over the same time frame, and she still won't do anything about it. :flowerforyou:
  • Ladysquire
    Ladysquire Posts: 61 Member
    if it plays out the way it typically does, 4 months from now she'll be pissed at herself for doing nothing and probably gaining weight over the winter, she'll be totally envious of you for losing weight over the same time frame, and she still won't do anything about it. :flowerforyou:

    I would say that is the most likely outcome!

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