How to tell your husband...

PibblesRun
PibblesRun Posts: 236 Member
in Fitness and Exercise
That you would really really like it if he got his nice 6 pack back??? Without making him feel unattractive...because hes a very attractive man and hes still fit and thin, has sexy arms and back...just lost his nice definition in his stomach since weve been married. I love him and am attracted to him regardless...but it would be nice if he could have that nice defined stomach again.

And I know ive gained weight...mainly due to a baby so I have some (very little bit) of an excuse...but im trying to get my body back to the shape he fell in love with!

Ive tried the whole, I need a workout partner thing so I can have motivation...didnt work. Any other suggestions?

Replies

  • rkr22401
    rkr22401 Posts: 216 Member
    You could promise him favors?
  • gluestic14
    gluestic14 Posts: 18 Member
    I don't know how much you exercise or where, but you could try to do exercise at home in front of him. Maybe him actually seeing you exercise & getting results can motivate him to join you?
  • phlower
    phlower Posts: 103
    Unfortunately, this is something he has to want for himself. I think the best thing you can do is lead by example. When he sees you taking care of yourself, eating healthier, being active, then he might want to join you in making new habits.
  • DKWaggoner
    DKWaggoner Posts: 185
    Promise him favors? you must be Male
  • laserturkey
    laserturkey Posts: 1,680 Member
    I think it would be a Very Bad Idea™ to tell him that! I think your best hope is to invite him to join you in working out, and then IF he gets into it and starts to get the abs back, you can make a big deal about how sexy they are or something. But if he doesn't get those abs back, do you want him to feel like he has disappointed you for the rest of your marriage? I wouldn't say anything to him that suggests you are less attracted to him as he is now.
  • chefsmash
    chefsmash Posts: 53 Member
    Well how would you like him to deliver the news to you that he would like your rear to be smaller or for YOU to get a six-pack?

    Not being snarky I'm being honest... however you feel would be the kindest way to receive it is the way you should deliver it.

    ETA: missed a word somehow...
  • BigDnSW
    BigDnSW Posts: 641 Member
    I doubt nonya really want to hear this, but when I married my wife in 1979, she was a model, had a record contract, was well known, and I was studly...however, I fell in love with her heart and soul. Her incredible outward beauty and bod were icing...but not the cake. 33+ years later, she is still amazing looking and yet, I am more in love with her soul and mind.

    Romance starts in the morning...not in the bedroom.

    As we age, have kids, more responsibility than we ever dreamed...marriage is still a partnership. To me, the real question is what can you do to get his attention in a loving way? My wife sure knows how to "motivate" me...

    Just kind thoughts from a relationship veteran.

    I wish you and him the best!
  • MrsWonderland
    MrsWonderland Posts: 107 Member
    I feel the same way about my husband and I have been trying to get him to walk with me. He has once and he says he will but never gets around to it. He works hard and is tired, so I understand. I havent tried to push him, but I let him know how much I would love to workout and walk with him. He knows I dont like to walk alone and I would love his company. I tell him how I just love showing him off, because I am proud to be with such a handsome man (even though he thinks hes the ugliest man alive, which I dont get). Its all the truth so Im not lieing as I try to build him up for a walk. Tell him how you feel about him, exept about his stomach. Tell him how much you love his company. For me our walk felt like a date, so maybe this could be date time for the two of you. I really hope you find something that works for the two of you, Im gonna try again this weekend, maybe we will have a midnight stroll if the weather is nice.:wink:
  • 1Clueless1
    1Clueless1 Posts: 70
    I doubt nonya really want to hear this, but when I married my wife in 1979, she was a model, had a record contract, was well known, and I was studly...however, I fell in love with her heart and soul. Her incredible outward beauty and bod were icing...but not the cake. 33+ years later, she is still amazing looking and yet, I am more in love with her soul and mind.

    Romance starts in the morning...not in the bedroom.

    As we age, have kids, more responsibility than we ever dreamed...marriage is still a partnership. To me, the real question is what can you do to get his attention in a loving way? My wife sure knows how to "motivate" me...

    Just kind thoughts from a relationship veteran.

    I wish you and him the best!

    Awesome!!
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,329 Member
    start doing fitness stuff together.
  • 33Freya
    33Freya Posts: 468 Member
    Run your finger across his stomach right before you have great sex (where you may be a little over zealous) and say (your version of) "I love ripped abs and you are so sexy!" and then watch him look at them in the mirror... And then Rawr on him again right after an ab workout (that you do or did in front of him) And then again, right before you invite him to join you in the ab workout- then really be zealous when he joins you for the first time... And continue on like that.... He will love the accolades, you both will love the sex, and you both will get awesome abs in the proceSs... Uuuuuuuse theeee cooooookie.... Lol
  • BigDnSW
    BigDnSW Posts: 641 Member
    Run your finger across his stomach right before you have great sex (where you may be a little over zealous) and say (your version of) "I love ripped abs and you are so sexy!" and then watch him look at them in the mirror... And then Rawr on him again right after an ab workout (that you do or did in front of him) And then again, right before you invite him to join you in the ab workout- then really be zealous when he joins you for the first time... And continue on like that.... He will love the accolades, you both will love the sex, and you both will get awesome abs in the proceSs... Uuuuuuuse theeee cooooookie.... Lol

    Somebody read my book! Can I get a witness...very cool.
  • redraidergirl2009
    redraidergirl2009 Posts: 2,560 Member
    Be honest, you're married, you should be close enough with this person to be honest.
  • d_Mode
    d_Mode Posts: 880 Member
    Run your finger across his stomach right before you have great sex (where you may be a little over zealous) and say (your version of) "I love ripped abs and you are so sexy!" and then watch him look at them in the mirror... And then Rawr on him again right after an ab workout (that you do or did in front of him) And then again, right before you invite him to join you in the ab workout- then really be zealous when he joins you for the first time... And continue on like that.... He will love the accolades, you both will love the sex, and you both will get awesome abs in the proceSs... Uuuuuuuse theeee cooooookie.... Lol

    Behold the power of theeee cookie! Hell, I'm ready to do some crunches right now!!! That would work for me!
  • Molly_Maguire
    Molly_Maguire Posts: 1,103 Member
    I already just did this exact thing tonight!! It was surprisingly easy. I just put my arms around him, and said "I love you! I hate saying things that make you feel bad, but I feel like I'm the only one who's been trying to get in shape lately. You promised me over a year ago that you'd lose your gut, and you haven't done it, yet." He's a really mellow, easygoing guy, so he just said, "You're right, I'm sorry. I will start trying harder. You lost all your baby weight, now it's my turn."

    And then he went and logged his food for the day! *blows smoking barrel* That was pretty painless!
  • Umeboshi
    Umeboshi Posts: 1,637 Member
    Just tell him? "Hey, abs would look hot on you."

    I don't really understand completely how people can be that worried about their partner's looks...but that's just me. I'd love my partner's body equally at any weight or fitness level. Personally, I am turned on by a person's body because of the emotional connection I have with that person. No body type in general is particularly sexy to me.
  • bdamaster60
    bdamaster60 Posts: 595 Member
    "Get a six pack or no sex for a month." He's a man, he can take it.
  • Umeboshi
    Umeboshi Posts: 1,637 Member
    "Get a six pack or no sex for a month." He's a man, he can take it.

    Sound relationship advice right there. :laugh:
  • CandaceHoweth91
    CandaceHoweth91 Posts: 288
    Mention it to him, like someone said, "I love when your abs look all defined like this" while stroking his stomach. He will look at his abs daily in the mirror and want to make them look even "better" than they already do!
  • Sparlingo
    Sparlingo Posts: 938 Member
    Something tells me that if fitness was important enough to him that he had defined abs/a six pack once, seeing you get in the best shape of your life will kick him into high gear!

    So, you can either tell him (be direct), or *show him* in a sense (not saying you'll need the six pack yourself!). Plus, that's a fun challenge for you.
  • Kari089
    Kari089 Posts: 109 Member
    I put my foot in it last night. Not sure what the results of that will be but I think I definitely hurt his feelings.

    I had washed one of his sweaters and hung it by a window to air dry. I told him he should put it inside the closet now that it was dry and he said well it needs to be ironed first. To which I replied..no it doesn't..you stretch it well enough. DOH!

    I back pedaled out of that one..or tried to anyway. Uff..sometimes I need to zip it! He has gained weight..mostly because we are both enablers of each other. We both love food but unlike me, he has always been a super skinny guy that could eat anything. But he loooved the fast food in college and now has a little pouch for a belly. He has now been good about skipping desserts and eating more fruit and taking care of himself. He even went jogging with me! So my snappy comment wasn't necessary.

    Now I have to go 'do him favors' to apologize..lol

    ETA: So the moral of the story is..don't do what I did..hopefully he will realize he needs to make the change by watching you get fitter and back to your pre baby body. :)
  • PHATCHIK
    PHATCHIK Posts: 9 Member
    You could tell him how much you have always admired his 6 pack and that maybe you two should start working out together so you can both have sexy abs. Or maybe get him to "help you get yours in shape" (wink):wink: !
  • missabeez
    missabeez Posts: 280 Member
    Not that this was my intention, but by me working out and transforming my body, my boyfriend keeps talking more and more about wanting to try some of the things I do....I think when you and your partner are growing together, you tend to gravitate towards the same interests....and I have pushed him out of his comfort zone and he has been dabbling more into jogging :) It's been nice.
  • bdamaster60
    bdamaster60 Posts: 595 Member
    Not that this was my intention, but by me working out and transforming my body, my boyfriend keeps talking more and more about wanting to try some of the things I do....I think when you and your partner are growing together, you tend to gravitate towards the same interests....and I have pushed him out of his comfort zone and he has been dabbling more into jogging :) It's been nice.

    the term you are looking for is inspire. You are an inspiration to others :smile:
  • nikilis
    nikilis Posts: 2,305 Member
    yeh and you should get a boob job. cause your not ok the way you are.


    really?
  • Groovyca2022
    Groovyca2022 Posts: 21,378 Member
    "Get a six pack or no sex for a month." He's a man, he can take it.

    This would not work on my husband. He know...I wouldn't be able to wait a WEEK!!! lol

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