NSV - Binging vs. Gym

Yesterday, I had a really horrible, god-awful day where I just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry myself to sleep. In the past, a day like that would have had me making a mental grocery list of my favorite binge foods so I could stop on the way home from work. Then, I would have crawled into bed with my favorite foods and eaten myself into oblivion while watching shows on Netflix, Hulu, and the DVR.

Instead, I didn't even consider a shopping list. My boyfriend asked if I wanted chicken fried rice for dinner, and I said, "Nope. Get me some of the broiled chicken with broccoli, no sauce, no rice. Oh, and after we watch "Big Bang Theory", I'm going to the gym. I forgot to bring my stuff to work with me."

I didn't even give it a second thought.

Looking at that comment from the outside, though, that's so not a "typical" Sarah response. Going to the gym? Get me the healthy version of Chinese food? What?

Oh my gosh! I've changed!

I have truly, officially crossed that line where my conditioned response is to do something GOOD for myself, not try to DESTROY myself. It's such a wonderful feeling of freedom, to know that I turn to exercise instead of food and it doesn't feel like something I have to do. It's something I WANT to do. When faced with a horrible day, I didn't medicate with food. I medicated by sweating my a** off. I continued to eat the right foods because I knew a binge would make me feel worse, not better.

This is awesome. I've been waiting to reach this point for a few months now. I've always wanted to be one of those people who goes to the gym to work off the stress, and now I am.