Rude People

SweetestHoney
SweetestHoney Posts: 95 Member
in Motivation and Support
I am 26 and very slim and in shape. I work out often and I tend to eat super healthy. At work I munch on fresh fruit, eat salads/veggies for lunch, and sip tea all day. Whenever we have a potluck or event at work I use it as my cheat meal. I love sweets so I never keep them in my house. So please help me with this issue:

When my coworkers see me having my cheat meal I get bashed by some and they always say I'll gain weight when I get older. Since I had an ED before this is not good for me to hear but I'm not confessing that to them. I know I won't gain weight as I age because I love being healthy and fit so much, I am genuinely happy with the healthy foods that I eat because I love them so much. How do I deal with these comments without getting angry and snapping one day?

Replies

  • vabchloser
    vabchloser Posts: 223 Member
    I dislike rude people very much. Especially people that try to impose their diet knowledge on me.

    People know I'm on a diet, obviously they see me losing and they make really stupid comments one way or the other. "You're wasting away," (I think that's a compliment), "You shouldn't eat fruit, it's too high in sugar," (seriously?), "You're grumpy because you need to eat," (WHAT?!).

    Anyway, I can see you are especially sensitive about what people say to you, but perhaps two responses could be worked up. The first one is for people whose feelings you could care less about and the other for those you need to carefully gauge your response to.

    A) I'll worry about it when it starts catching up with me, thanks. By the way, when did it start catching up with you? (haha..okay, maybe not the last part.)
    B) Thank you for your concern, but I've very conscientious about my food choices. (You may even go on to say your very sensitive about comments regarding your weight and diet and ask if they don't make those comments in the future. I don't feel this would be inappropriate in a word environment.)

    Good luck :)
  • Redbird99ky
    Redbird99ky Posts: 305 Member
    I am 26 and very slim and in shape. I work out often and I tend to eat super healthy. At work I munch on fresh fruit, eat salads/veggies for lunch, and sip tea all day. Whenever we have a potluck or event at work I use it as my cheat meal. I love sweets so I never keep them in my house. So please help me with this issue:

    When my coworkers see me having my cheat meal I get bashed by some and they always say I'll gain weight when I get older. Since I had an ED before this is not good for me to hear but I'm not confessing that to them. I know I won't gain weight as I age because I love being healthy and fit so much, I am genuinely happy with the healthy foods that I eat because I love them so much. How do I deal with these comments without getting angry and snapping one day?

    First of all, congratulations on your dedication to a lifestyle change. Now, to answer your question ... do nothing.

    If you can't do anything about it, ignore it.
    You cannot change someone else's behavior.
    You can only change how you CHOOSE to respond to it.
    You can either get upset and fret about what someone else thinks or says,
    or you can ignore it and do your own thing.
    Therefore, since they will continue to give you unwanted advice, be polite, but do nothing Ignore the comments, they're just words.

    Only YOU know how to be you. Be the best "you" you can be.
  • servilia
    servilia Posts: 3,452 Member
    That's confusing - don't they see how healthy you eat the rest of the time? Makes me wonder if they just don't like you and are using this as the one thing to pick on. Jerks in either case I think.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    Sounds like jealousy, finding a way to claim you will gain the weight back. People often say that someone will gain weight when they get older to justify their own weight gain. I've seriously been hearing that since I was in elementary school. Back in elementary school people would say I would gain weight when I stopped growing. Then it was "when I got pregnant". Then I had my babies and it was "when I turned thirty". Now it's "when I hit my 40's" or whatever.
  • Katbody10
    Katbody10 Posts: 369 Member
    Sounds like jealousy, finding a way to claim you will gain the weight back. People often say that someone will gain weight when they get older to justify their own weight gain. I've seriously been hearing that since I was in elementary school. Back in elementary school people would say I would gain weight when I stopped growing. Then it was "when I got pregnant". Then I had my babies and it was "when I turned thirty". Now it's "when I hit my 40's" or whatever.

    Exactly this! I was warned about my metabolism .. "just wait until you're 30 .. it's all downhill from there" .. (never happened) .. same with 40 .. was still waiting for something to happen ...

    I'm 46 now and can finally say .. "okay .. I can't go on eating quite like I used to .. " However.. I've been generally a lot more active most of my life than my parents and many of my long time friends.

    It's definitely jealousy that they can't indulge their sweet tooth in the same fashion as you can. You eat healthy all the time and stay fit so you CAN actually enjoy a few treats now and again .. GUILT FREE.

    I wish I could be there to support you in person ... but please, try not to let these rude people get under your skin.. They're just thoughtless and engaged their mouths before putting their brains in gear ... :flowerforyou:
  • SweetestHoney
    SweetestHoney Posts: 95 Member
    Wow! This was all great advice. I will work on not letting it bother me. And thank to you for confirming that I won't miraculously turn 30 or 40 and uncontrollably gain weight. Seriously every response was so great and made me smile. I'll bookmark this page and pull it up whenever I get frustrated.
  • Sharkington
    Sharkington Posts: 485
    I have heard VERY similar comments, so I understand how you feel. Like others have mentioned, it seems like there may be a little bit of bitterness on their part, and there really isn't anything you can do about their own resentments. Just shrug it off, stay happy, and keep doing your thing - you know yourself better than they do. :)
  • NordicAlien
    NordicAlien Posts: 110 Member
    My usual response to people who comment on stuff that's none of their freakin' business is: "That's sweet of you to be concerned about me, but I'm happy and healthy and doing just fine." Polite, simple, to-the-point.
  • rompers16
    rompers16 Posts: 5,404 Member
    You can't change how people act but you can change how you re-act to them. You know you're doing the right things and that's all that matters. Good luck :)
  • sm1zzle
    sm1zzle Posts: 920 Member
    I am 26 and very slim and in shape. I work out often and I tend to eat super healthy. At work I munch on fresh fruit, eat salads/veggies for lunch, and sip tea all day. Whenever we have a potluck or event at work I use it as my cheat meal. I love sweets so I never keep them in my house. So please help me with this issue:

    When my coworkers see me having my cheat meal I get bashed by some and they always say I'll gain weight when I get older. Since I had an ED before this is not good for me to hear but I'm not confessing that to them. I know I won't gain weight as I age because I love being healthy and fit so much, I am genuinely happy with the healthy foods that I eat because I love them so much. How do I deal with these comments without getting angry and snapping one day?

    Just try to Relax. Those people have no idea what they are talking about, so treat their comments that way. I would take it with a grain of salt, but I am also a smartass so I would probably comeback with something slightly sarcastic while smiling in the fools faces.
  • NaomiJFoster
    NaomiJFoster Posts: 1,450 Member
    "I'm aware of what I'm doing. I've become very well educated on how my own body responds to foods and exercises. I'd just like to enjoy the special treats today, thanks."
  • skeeter2584
    skeeter2584 Posts: 34 Member
    Happy holidays, SweetestHoney! Because you tend to choose healthy meals and work out as you stated, I think it's perfectly OK to partake of a workplace potluck (or any treat) in moderation. As for your coworkers, gently tell them that consistently choosing healthy meals and staying active can help undo (and prevent!) weight gain. If they laugh at you, take comfort in this - your overall diet/exercise habits make you the better (and healthier!) person. If they STILL make fun of you :grumble: I would just ignore them.
  • bathsheba_c
    bathsheba_c Posts: 1,873 Member
    The best advice I have ever heard on responding to incredibly rude comments or questions is to just adopt a look of innocent shock and say, "Wow."

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