Dieting after recovering from an ED - can't win for losing

RobynLB
RobynLB Posts: 617 Member
edited January 6 in Health and Weight Loss
I had an eating disorder when I was in my early teens, and I struggled with it into my early 20's, but I consider myself recovered now. This puts me in an awkward spot when I want to lose weight or cut body fat or meet any diet related goal, because a lot of weight loss / fat cutting behaviors (restricting food types and calories and counting calories) are eating disorder behaviors.

So I want to watch what I eat, and I want to cut my body fat a little, but I also have to watch that I'm not overly strict, and make sure I don't change my body too drastically. Like, if I eat something "unhealthy" I'm proud of myself for kicking my eating disorder, but then I've just "messed up" my healthy eating plan. Or if I lose 2% body fat I will be stoked, but if I go even 5 lbs. lower than my current weight I will feel extremely unhealthy. Is anyone else stuck with this catch-22? Even focusing on exclusively "clean eating" is considered an eating disorder now-- so is over training. It's like you can't win for losing!

Replies

  • DanaDark
    DanaDark Posts: 2,187 Member
    Use numbers to back you.

    Have only a little to lose, 250 calorie deficit.

    When someone calls you on it, train them. Tell them your TDEE, then say your goals, and then mention the deficit needed for the goal and finally mention your calorie goals for the day (which should have the deficit you mentioned earlier for your goal).

    Knowledge is power.
  • RobynLB
    RobynLB Posts: 617 Member
    Use numbers to back you.

    Have only a little to lose, 250 calorie deficit.

    When someone calls you on it, train them. Tell them your TDEE, then say your goals, and then mention the deficit needed for the goal and finally mention your calorie goals for the day (which should have the deficit you mentioned earlier for your goal).

    Knowledge is power.

    It's not even anyone else calling me on it. It's all just me second guessing myself. Lol. But what you're saying makes sense. Stick with a goal that's a healthy goal, and a plan that's a recommended plan, and just don't think about it too much.
  • DanaDark
    DanaDark Posts: 2,187 Member
    The argument I described above can work on yourself too. So long as you have actual numbers to back you up, you should rest assured.

    The only problem is making sure you choose a weight loss goal that is reasonable. When you have 10 pounds to lose for example, 1.0 might seem a natural choice, but 0.5 is significantly better.
  • PriceK01
    PriceK01 Posts: 834 Member
    It's not even anyone else calling me on it. It's all just me second guessing myself. Lol. But what you're saying makes sense. Stick with a goal that's a healthy goal, and a plan that's a recommended plan, and just don't think about it too much.

    That's exactly it. It has nothing to do with anyone else, and everything to do with me. I'm worried that the numbers are actually making harder for me, because I'm so focused on them and find myself constantly checking and double-checking... calories, percentages, measurements, weights, sizes. I'm my own worst enemy :/
  • Storm_Wolf
    Storm_Wolf Posts: 24
    instead of restricting yourself....why not do some strength training? your weight will go up a little but it will cut your fat percentage! besides it's much better to be heavier as long as it's muscle in there! plus you will look amazing! :D
  • RobynLB
    RobynLB Posts: 617 Member
    instead of restricting yourself....why not do some strength training? your weight will go up a little but it will cut your fat percentage! besides it's much better to be heavier as long as it's muscle in there! plus you will look amazing! :D

    Yep, I do strength training. That's a big part of my training plan right now, and I think the shift to a focus on strength has helped change my perspective a lot!
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    I went through this same issue, because while I thought I had recovered I soon realized that I had just traded in one ED for another. As a young woman I was ana/bul, then the switch flipped and I thought I was okay. Through this process I've discovered that I was still a binger. I started by focusing on using exercise and healthful eating and bf% instead of the scale, now I focus on my next wellness goal (a race, a squat weight in the gym, etc) and how to fuel my way there. It's okay, you'll get there, just don't focus on the low calories or the scale, but on something more productive.
  • Quasita
    Quasita Posts: 1,530 Member
    I'm sorry to say this but if sounds like you are not recovered from ED. Recovery is not just about eating when you previously didn't eat, or not purging, or not bingeing. It is about the mental health issues that surround it. That is, the fear of gaining, or as the case is now (as it sounds), losing weight.

    Who categorizes behaviors as ED behaviors? Just because some things can be associated with ED doesn't mean that they are in fact signs of ED and therefore to be avoided or shamed. Keeping track of your food, calories, macros, and all that, is a HEALTHY behavior as long as your goals are healthy. If you are concerned about relapse, you need to return to/start counseling for ED support, and work with a specialized dietician if you are that at risk for relapsing into damaging behaviors.

    Eating disorder is about having an unhealthy relationship with food and with eating, one way or the other. If your goals are healthy, your foods and behaviors are healthy, and you still experience guilty feelings when you are experiencing successes with weightloss, it is very important to seek professional help. You need to establish habits that allow you to be successful without shame... Some of us who are recovering (it never really goes away, afterall) go so far as to not weigh at home, to measure by serving and not calorie, and allow the doctor to monitor our weightloss and measurements without informing us more than every couple of months.

    Please, consider the wide variety of options available to you.
  • PaveGurl
    PaveGurl Posts: 244 Member
    I'm a recovering bulemic, so man alive, I feel you.

    When i start to second guess myself, I have to go back to the math and FORCE myself to stick to a reasonable plan -- "no, I cannot just add a workout, that is not healthy for my needs if I splurge on this snack." I make sure my goals include a healthy number of calories, fats, proteins, etc AND a healthy workout plan so I can't backslide myself into "working off" my splurges but making sure I keep things on a *relatively* even keel. I worked with my docs to get a realistic goal for myself, and I have to trust that they ahve a better idea of what's good for me than I do (I will always have a wacky idea of what's acceptable or ok, and I have to know that I'm not the best at knowing what I actually look like/ what's healthy for me). So when I start to second-guess myself, I look at those numbers my doc helped me set and go "OK, this is what's good and healthy for you. Don't change it! You're not the smarty-pants here."
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
    Have fun eating and just do a small reduction.
    Get your protein and fat needs.
    Keep it simple, tell yourself there are no bad foods. Just good and better choices.

    And if you are hungry, eat. These are not set-backs but long term goals.

    Have fun, you are doing great, my friend.
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