Significant others and their exs

changing_4_me
changing_4_me Posts: 9 Member
in Chit-Chat
Does anyone have a significant other who had a ex who won't leave him/her alone? Mine constantly calls or texts throughout the day complaining about everything. Now she is stalking me! She would check my facebook page so much and go back and complain to my boyfriend about what I put on my page. I ended up just canceling the whole account. I know they have to talk because they have kids together but this is getting to be too much.

Replies

  • spade117
    spade117 Posts: 2,466 Member
    Since she is probably not up yet:


    Just break up.
  • Dave198lbs
    Dave198lbs Posts: 8,810 Member
    who is hotter? you, or her?
  • irishrose22
    irishrose22 Posts: 161 Member
    thats what you get when you enter into a relationship with a man or woman who already has children. She will be in your life forever if you choose to stay. SO you either have to deal with it or leave if its not worth it to stay.
  • WolfPackFan13
    WolfPackFan13 Posts: 95 Member
    thats what you get when you enter into a relationship with a man or woman who already has children. She will be in your life forever if you choose to stay. SO you either have to deal with it or leave if its not worth it to stay.

    Exactly. I'd be very hesitant to enter into a relationship with someone who has a kid. Not saying I wouldn't do it, but the other person would have to be really special...
  • HappyNinjaStar
    HappyNinjaStar Posts: 353 Member
    IMO, interaction with ex's should be limited to discussion of shared children. This includes calls, texts,and face to face interaction. Boundaries should be set if this is not currently the case. I think you need to have a sit down with your SO and set limits and if they are not respected by your SO (he should be responsible for setting the rules down for his ex, not you), then you should probably get out. Based on your description it sounds like they're not done with each other and it's likely that things won't end well for you. I wish you the best of luck, it's a tough situation to be in.
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
    It's not going to get better, so you need to decide if you want to deal with this your whole life or not.

    And, it's up to him. It's not a one-way street. He is obviously playing into it all. So, that's something you should really think about.
  • ArroganceInStep
    ArroganceInStep Posts: 6,239 Member
    Make friends with Michael C. Hall and tell him she's a murderer.
  • AJ_Pete
    AJ_Pete Posts: 863 Member
    Does anyone have a significant other who had a ex who won't leave him/her alone? Mine constantly calls or texts throughout the day complaining about everything. Now she is stalking me! She would check my facebook page so much and go back and complain to my boyfriend about what I put on my page. I ended up just canceling the whole account. I know they have to talk because they have kids together but this is getting to be too much.

    So you either put your foot down, shut up & deal, or leave.

    Pick one.
  • Pookylou
    Pookylou Posts: 988 Member
    Make friends with Michael C. Hall and tell him she's a murderer.

    /Thread
  • MikeyD1280
    MikeyD1280 Posts: 5,257
    Since she is probably not up yet:


    Just break up.

    I see what you did there!


    If my girls ex were to call.. I'd break his face :happy:

    thank God I am with a "woman" who doesn't play games like that...

    edited to see that you are a girl... woman?... nah.. girl
  • FitBeto
    FitBeto Posts: 2,121 Member
    Since she is probably not up yet:


    Just break up.

    I see what you did there!


    If my girls ex were to call.. I'd break his face :happy:

    thank God I am with a "woman" who doesn't play games like that...

    edited to see that you are a girl... woman?... nah.. girl

    d49.png
  • grawrrrr
    grawrrrr Posts: 336
    Since she is probably not up yet:


    Just break up.

    I see what you did there!


    If my girls ex were to call.. I'd break his face :happy:

    thank God I am with a "woman" who doesn't play games like that...

    edited to see that you are a girl... woman?... nah.. girl

    d49.png

    *applause*
  • MissTattoo
    MissTattoo Posts: 1,203 Member
    She's in his life because he still wants her to be there. Simple as that. He could easily change his number, block her number, tell her to stop, etc. (unless they have children, which you didn't mention)

    So you either talk to him about it, deal with it, or leave.
  • Koldnomore
    Koldnomore Posts: 1,613 Member
    Does anyone have a significant other who had a ex who won't leave him/her alone? Mine constantly calls or texts throughout the day complaining about everything. Now she is stalking me! She would check my facebook page so much and go back and complain to my boyfriend about what I put on my page. I ended up just canceling the whole account. I know they have to talk because they have kids together but this is getting to be too much.

    Hmm, well actually my boyfriend and his x-wife share custody of a 5 yr old son and they speak, text, phone, daily. She is normally texting him most of the day. HOWEVER, it seems that there are a few differences between her and what it seems you are describing.

    When they talk, text, speak it is all about their child. We are all quite good friends, she is over at least once every couple weeks for dinner and we will be spending Christmas day all together at her place. We took 'family' holidays together last year - well all went camping. Next, I do not have any fear that their relationship is anything more than just a friendly one for the sake of their son. She does not 'stalk' me but she is on some of the same sites. She was here for a while also and we were 'friends'. We have each other's contact numbers and text sometimes when we have to communicate about the child ( I pick him up from daycare some days) I think she's even on my Facebook, but I'd have to go look. Of course if you don't want her seeing your things you can easily lock your profile to 'friends only' or more. Mine is locked to the point that you can't even find me on there - I have to add people, they can not add me or even see my name. You need to be responsible for your own info sometimes.

    There is nothing wrong with your partner having a friendly relationship with their x if there are kids involved... The problem lies in the fact that their conversations/ interactions seem to be much more than just 'talking about the child'. If this is the case then you need to either address it and have him correct her perceptions OR if he is not willing to intervene then he obviously still has some feelings and you need to drop him.
  • newmooon56
    newmooon56 Posts: 347 Member
    She's in his life because he still wants her to be there. Simple as that. He could easily change his number, block her number, tell her to stop, etc. (unless they have children, which you didn't mention)

    So you either talk to him about it, deal with it, or leave.

    They have children together- she DID mention that. Reading comprehension counts- answers that are void of said comprehension do NOT.
  • newmooon56
    newmooon56 Posts: 347 Member
    The ex and your boyfriend were "mature" enough to create a child- but not enough so as to stay together much after the child was born.

    You are in a relationship with a 'man' with a kid- the mother will not just go away. If the bf doesnt see the problem- you can always just do whats best for you. Leave? Explain yourself? Show him your stalking proof? (btw- FB does not need to be public- its supposed to be for friends, not many past your immediate friends even care about your status to be real)

    Or leave him and find a man you can have "firsts" with. He will not have his first kid with you - if hes been married- hes been there, done that. Are you a GIRL that wants all that crap? Then you better blow... If you are mature - maybe you can work this out. If hes the man-boy maybe thats what you chose and his games with the ex are all part of the excitement (for him? you? the ex?)

    I dont know- I just know grown ups work things out where love and children are concerned.
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
    She's in his life because he still wants her to be there. Simple as that. He could easily change his number, block her number, tell her to stop, etc. (unless they have children, which you didn't mention)

    So you either talk to him about it, deal with it, or leave.

    Learning to read an OP is a wonderful trait..
    .
  • MissTattoo
    MissTattoo Posts: 1,203 Member
    She's in his life because he still wants her to be there. Simple as that. He could easily change his number, block her number, tell her to stop, etc. (unless they have children, which you didn't mention)

    So you either talk to him about it, deal with it, or leave.

    They have children together- she DID mention that. Reading comprehension counts- answers that are void of said comprehension do NOT.

    Don't be a *****. I was reading from my phone and missed the last part. Either way, just because they have a child together doesn't mean they have to be super close. I don't text my daughter's father all day and stalk his wife.
  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
    Like the others have said: Deal with it or leave. He should know what she's up to but if he chooses to do nothing about it, then you'll either have to put up with it or leave. It's that simple.

    You're not married and you don't have kids with this guy. I don't see why this is such a difficult decision.
  • MikeyD1280
    MikeyD1280 Posts: 5,257
    my girl has a kid with her ex, and she rather he go through me to set things up for their child. Everyone seems to be good with that.
  • ArroganceInStep
    ArroganceInStep Posts: 6,239 Member
    The ex and your boyfriend were "mature" enough to create a child- but not enough so as to stay together much after the child was born.

    You are in a relationship with a 'man' with a kid- the mother will not just go away. If the bf doesnt see the problem- you can always just do whats best for you. Leave? Explain yourself? Show him your stalking proof? (btw- FB does not need to be public- its supposed to be for friends, not many past your immediate friends even care about your status to be real)

    Or leave him and find a man you can have "firsts" with. He will not have his first kid with you - if hes been married- hes been there, done that. Are you a GIRL that wants all that crap? Then you better blow... If you are mature - maybe you can work this out. If hes the man-boy maybe thats what you chose and his games with the ex are all part of the excitement (for him? you? the ex?)

    I dont know- I just know grown ups work things out where love and children are concerned.

    Getting divorced is a sign of immaturity? wtf...

Categories