Drifting Apart...

Happy2help
Happy2help Posts: 18
in Health and Weight Loss
Just wanted to know others thought and maybe for people to share similar stories. As I have progressed further with my weight loss and life style changes I have notice that I'm drifting apart from others. My friends and I have always been close, but I have changed and they have stayed the same. As I have become more conscious about my health, eating habits and keeping active, I have realized that they don't not care about keeping themselves healthy. They are hardly ever active and when i am with them they like to eat a lot of bad foods. To me it would not be such an issue if they were not always tempting me with unhealthy foods and telling me that Its not that bad. I have some trouble with self control in that situation and try to avoid that. With that said i feel like i am stuck choosing between my health and my friends. Not sure what to do. Any advice.

Replies

  • jcova
    jcova Posts: 4
    i say get new friends
  • jcova
    jcova Posts: 4
    jk thats a tough one, what i do when i am around my friends i still eat where ever we go and choose healthy menu or smaller portion
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,422 Member
    Absolutely start creating a new group of friends. It's normal to change your circle of friends when your interests change. So now you can make new friends at the gym or in a running group, or in a dance class, etc.
  • beachpoodles
    beachpoodles Posts: 30 Member
    That does happen - but they are propbably feeling the same about you just with a different mind set...

    Good friendships are hard to find and if these are good friends aside from the fact their eating habits differ..I would work around what you can. Tell them how you feel.
  • LassoOfTruth
    LassoOfTruth Posts: 735 Member
    I'm feeling the same about my family. You can change your friends, i'm stuck with my family. Lolz.

    Seriously though, I suggest maybe changing the venue a little. If you're always hanging out at someone's house munching on food, watching a game, why not get them to go on a hike, or play basketball? It's worth a shot.
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
    instead of going to drink my face off with my bf's, i suggest going for a quick tea because i'm "super busy"...or when we get together at someone's house I bring healthy snacks. If they bring the cake and pies, i bring the shrimp and celery. that way i can eat what I brought. prepare for the night out by working out earlier and watching your calories, that way you can have a few beer and some french fries at the pub with them. There's lots you can do...my friend (who is totally inactive) supported nurses across borders and suggested we all walk a 5k, i was the only one that was super stoked...even though we came in dead last, we had a great time, and i suggested we do it more often. you don't have to get a new pack of friends, you don't have to stop hanging around them either, just change what you do with them.
  • StephCoff1969
    StephCoff1969 Posts: 357
    We have the same group of friends it would seem... I have some that support me and then others will always ask if I am sure I don't want that pizza... "It's good for you"... Yeah ok... My answer is always the same... "thanks, but I will pass". I know better now, so I do better... I don't think you have to change your friends, I think that having people in our lives that tempt is us is actually good.. We live in the real world where we have choices to make everyday... It is up to us what those choices are...
  • Cespuglio
    Cespuglio Posts: 385 Member
    ^^What he said. Also, have you tried gently bringing this up to your friends? Saying something along the lines of "Our friendship is important to me and I'd like it to continue that way. However, my health and goals are also important to me. Please understand that it's already difficult as it is to maintain this lifestyle without the extra temptation. I am trying to keep my self-control." As for whatever they eat, don't worry. Just order a healthier option yourself. Check the menu ahead, etc. Best of luck to you and congratulations on your success :flowerforyou:
  • Amberonamission
    Amberonamission Posts: 836 Member
    I am also having such a hard time with this. I just can't stand to be near them Drinking and eating and smoking. I am a completely different person than I was half a year ago. They are all exactly the same. I am not tempted by their choices.. Well, except maybe the pizza. But, I would love to have a conversation with someone without getting the roll eyes or hearing that I am obsessed. If I hear once more that "SHE doesn't eat anymore" I am going to smack someone.

    It's a lonely time in my world. Can't wait til my outside matches the healthy me inside, so I can blend with other healthy people.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    I wouldn't say that I'm necessarily drifiting apart from my friends, but I tend to have less time for them...for one, I have babies at home so there was a real hit right there. Add time now for exercise, preparing healthy meals, planning weekly menus, etc and it's just harder and harder to get together these days. I've tried to get a couple of buddies of mine to start working out with me, but it hasn't happened. When we do get together, we still have a good time; they don't exactly understand what I'm doing because they all think I'm perfectly fine and normal the way I am...which is the problem, overweight and obese are considered looking/being normal these days. I still indulge in my fair share of adult beverages when we're together and other than the health stuff, everything else, we still have in common.

    As others have stated, if you're going out for food, get something healthier off the menu and do smaller portions...no shame in eating half and boxing the rest up (that's saving me some $$$)...go for lower calorie drinks if you're out on the town...get out there on the dance floor for some exercise. The way I look at it, I'm setting an example for my friends; I can lead, but they aren't necessarily going to follow. Funny thing is, now that I'm starting to show, not just on the scale...but actually visually showing progress, I'm getting all kinds of questions about how I'm doing it, etc. I imagine that when I hit my goals, I'm going to have a few buddies jumping on the bandwagon when they see how awesome you can look and feel with a bit of effort.

    If your friends are being genuinely unsupportive then it's time for a new circle of friends.
  • clouxles
    clouxles Posts: 71 Member
    Guess it depends on why you hang out ... one my best buds and I share a passion for live music... he typically drinks more than me these days (has not always been the case) but tunes are still there... and we still go out and enjoy them.

    If the past time was mainly about just socializing and your method of socializing has deviated ... then you have out grown your "drinking" or "eating" buddies.

    Move on or find some common ground.
  • iplayoutside19
    iplayoutside19 Posts: 2,304 Member
    Next time ya'll are laying around playing video games and you’ve had a few “pops”. Stand up on the coffee table and say: “We have become a bunch of fatasses. We need to do something about this. Tomorrow all of us are going to meet at the football field and play flag football till we puke. And if you don’t show up we’ll text and call you until you do, and call you a wuss, and the son of a motherless goat!”

    Then get down. Go to the door and shout: “See you there!” and storm out…..

    That’s how I would play it.
  • Happy2help
    Happy2help Posts: 18
    Thanks for the all the answers and encouragement. I should try to explain myself to them better. Either way If they can't except me for who i am now, then maybe it wont work. It would be nice to have a group of friends that are encouraging and as active as me.
  • celebrity328
    celebrity328 Posts: 377 Member
    I found out I am allergic to gluten and have had to change my eating habits a lot. Most people can tell something is different (im half the person I was!) but when they see the way I eat they ask me wtf is up? Everyone I know has gained loads of weight and are starting to have health problems because of weight. Guy I know in his mid 30s had a heart attack REALLY?! :(! That is not something I want to deal with at my age!

    I guess the way I look at it is what I value in life, others may not. That doesnt make them bad people, it just means they have different values and we may not go so well together. That doesnt mean I dont care about them, Im just not going to go out and drink/eat food I cant eat and get sick for 3 days :p

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