i'm so ashamed of myself :(

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elizarae11
elizarae11 Posts: 346
in Motivation and Support
so lately i've been really stressed with money troubles, studying for finals, working crazy hours, car troubles all this stuff. and today i was just looking in the mirror hating myself, and my body and i made myself puke :( i've never been more ashamed of myself. i want to be healthier and lose weight but it seems like no matter what i do nothing happens.

Replies

  • shgreenw
    shgreenw Posts: 194 Member
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    Oh, man. I have no idea what to say but sending hugs. :(
  • LadyRhodes01
    LadyRhodes01 Posts: 88 Member
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    I sent you a friend request via message. Praying for you.
  • ubermensch13
    ubermensch13 Posts: 824 Member
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    are you eating at a calorie deficit? are you exercising? If you are doing both, somewhat consistently, it will work.
  • sweebum
    sweebum Posts: 1,060 Member
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    It's a bad day. It's once (right?).

    Tomorrow is a better day.:flowerforyou:
  • misskittyfantastico1991
    misskittyfantastico1991 Posts: 145
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    Friend request sent.

    I know that feeling, but you can only look forward and not back :)
  • zombg
    zombg Posts: 2
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    We all have bad days.

    Stop.

    Take a deep breath.

    Look straight at yourself in the mirror and remind yourself out loud that you are worth the effort of doing things the right way, the strong way. You are good enough to deserve everything that you want, and you will get it. You will work for it. You will be able to do it.

    Don't let one bad day get you down. Get up tomorrow and punch fear and self-loathing in the face before it has a chance to eat away at you.

    Get up. Keep going.

    You're worth it.
  • Fayve
    Fayve Posts: 411 Member
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    I can really relate. I've done the same thing to myself. It actually lasted over the course of a few days. I never vocalized it with anyone in my family, because I felt so much shame at the act. I actually popped blood vessels around my eyes, and I avoided getting anywhere near my husband until they healed.

    But it's ok. It'll pass. I kept reminding myself that I never wanted to be thin and sickly. What point was there in being thin if I didn't have my health to enjoy it with. It's such a painful lesson to know that weight loss takes so long, but you gotta keep focusing on tomorrow.

    Keep at it girl - sharing how you feel is a great move on your part - it means that you have no reason to do it again now that you've held yourself accountable! /hugs
  • MarcelDrapalski
    MarcelDrapalski Posts: 9
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    All that matters is that the next day you pick yourself up and start fresh and motivated. :) Everyone has an off day.
  • CindyT56
    CindyT56 Posts: 4
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    I too tried everything from Weight Watchers to South Beach Diet and I'd lose 3 or 4 or more pounds the first week and then week after week would go by with absolutely no weight loss. I found out my metabolism needed boosting and exercise did it. I started eating better and lifting free weights 3 days per week and doing non weight exercises the other three days and I have lost at least 1 pound, and most weeks 2 pounds since October 5, 2012. The awesome thing about exercise is that after you finish your workout your body is still working, burning calories.
  • EAleksejevna
    EAleksejevna Posts: 1
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    Hi there, I have never posted on this forum before ever, but your post made me want to reach out. I did the same thing you did, made myself puke, a couple of weeks ago. I had never done that before. I was just disgusted with myself and having a terrible day, or string of days, and got to a breaking point where I just wanted to punish myself somehow or shake myself out of it - not sure which. I was ashamed after too, like there was this monster inside of me I wasn't aware of.
    Don't beat yourself up over doing that. Love yourself, love your body, and forgive yourself for puking. It happened. Its ok. Accept it, and move on. Think of three things you are grateful for. They are there - force yourself to find three! At least! The chain starts from there, and positive thoughts will attract more, and your situation will turn around. There is always an up after a down. Always. Maybe just shifting your mind set to positive thoughts might attract a solution to the multiple things that seem to be getting out of control right now. And if your studying for exams - make sure to sleep! That will come in more handy than all the studying when it comes to actually writing the tests.
    Not sure if any of this helped, or if its just a rant. But I just don't want you to feel down. There is hope, and love, and already all these people on the forums are sending their love to you. Don't be ashamed, deal with one problem at a time and you will get there.
  • elizarae11
    elizarae11 Posts: 346
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    seriously thank you guys for the support. i'm saving all of your replies to remind myself of them when i feel like doing it again. it can be so hard to fight it. i work out and don't see results and i just think to myself how much easier it will be to make myself puke.
  • danasings
    danasings Posts: 8,218 Member
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    seriously thank you guys for the support. i'm saving all of your replies to remind myself of them when i feel like doing it again. it can be so hard to fight it. i work out and don't see results and i just think to myself how much easier it will be to make myself puke.

    Bulimia is NOT the way to lose weight, hon. Take it from a 40-year-old woman who has dealt with bulimia for over 20 years. I STILL have times when I binge that I want to puke...and, honestly, there have still been (shamefully) a few times when I have. Nothing comes of purging but internal damage to your body and teeth and the downward spiral into more and more self-hatred and shameful feelings. Weight loss is NOT a side effect of purging. (Bulimics trend toward maintaining their weight, because when you eat and then purge afterward, you are not ridding your body of all of the food you've digested. You are mostly washing your esophagus and teeth with damaging stomach acids.) There are absolutely no benefits to purging.

    I don't know if this post helps you, but if it keeps you (or anyone else) from ever making yourself puke again, then I'm glad my years of experience could be of service.
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
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    Life sucks. Your not alone. I mean it downright sucks. All you can do is dust yourself off and say F today. Come back tomorrow fighting like a champ. Really whatever gets you though today is what it will take.
  • clarkeje1
    clarkeje1 Posts: 1,635 Member
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    [/quote]
    Bulimia is NOT the way to lose weight, hon. Take it from a 40-year-old woman who has dealt with bulimia for over 20 years. I STILL have times when I binge that I want to puke...and, honestly, there have still been (shamefully) a few times when I have. Nothing comes of purging but internal damage to your body and teeth and the downward spiral into more and more self-hatred and shameful feelings. Weight loss is NOT a side effect of purging. (Bulimics trend toward maintaining their weight, because when you eat and then purge afterward, you are not ridding your body of all of the food you've digested. You are mostly washing your esophagus and teeth with damaging stomach acids.) There are absolutely no benefits to purging.

    I don't know if this post helps you, but if it keeps you (or anyone else) from ever making yourself puke again, then I'm glad my years of experience could be of service.
    [/quote]

    This! Puking is never healthy and won't help you lose weight. You will feel so much better by eating a balanced, nutritional diet. Your body will let you know, you will feel good inside and out, mentally and physically. You will have energy, healthy skin/hair/nails etc. Nothing about puking will help you, it will just make you feel like crap. You can do this, we are all here for you to support you!

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