Derailed....

Well, what can I say I started at mfp Feb 15th, had a great first week loosing 11 lbs, then the second week I started looking at the scale daily, and I was gaining though I was doing things exactly the same as the first week. I don't know if the overwhelming feeling of disappointment took over or I just freak out that that it really was working. In any case I ended up stopping the second week. Since then I have eaten without much thought to things and gone back to my old ways. A few days ago I started to watch what I was eating again, even on Easter. And today I am again officially going back to logging what I eat and really going to try not to look at the scale more than once per week.

I really don't know why I stopped I was feeling better than I have felt in a long time, my skin was reaping the results and was a lot smoother and healthy looking. Looking back, stopping was the exact wrong thing to do. This is not how I want to live my life, I don't like how it feels on a daily basis and I don't like what it does to my body. So here I am, again. Maybe this time I can find something that keeps me motivated on those days when I'm struggling. What was working was the last time was the first week I decided to watch the biggest looser daily online, then I caught up on all the shows and week two had nothing to watch. For some reason that show drives me in a big way. Again, I am caught up so I need to find another source of inspiration, at least until I have been doing this a month or so and it starts to become more second nature than a battle. I guess I am kind of an all or nothing person. When I mess up on things I tend to call it a wash and give up. When Im doing well I'm doing really really well. I need to learn how to deal with the in between in all aspects of my life. It's just not healthy.

Anyways I will stop my rant now and try harder this time to stay on track and not let little things derail me. Thanks for listening. :sad: