Needs urgent help, but no criticism or patronising!

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Replies

  • kcoftx
    kcoftx Posts: 765 Member
    Losing 1lb a week may not only be a good steady rate, but it can give you time to build good solid habits that aren't built on speed and restriction. You need that time to really learn more about yourself and what it is going to take to sustain your loss. As you found, losing wasn't the hardest part, though I am definitely not trying to undermine what it takes to accomplish that! Maintaining is the biggest hurdle you still have to pass. In order to do that, it is going to take honest and ongoing reflection with your relationship to food, dieting and more.

    I recommend working in steps and thinking through things as you make changes. Drastically cutting and then going on autopilot doesn't help you in the long run. The true goal is not whether you can get it off but whether you can build sustainable habits and develop a healthy relationship with food and exercise.

    We are always learning and evolving. That's okay!!! The trick is, learn from what happened and focus on how to really change that. Although your question was a great one, your history with binging, heavy restriction and continued need to lose it as fast as you can, tells me perhaps you have some mental work to do here. You wouldn't be the only one. That's really what this process is all about. There is also absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to lose quicker but I wonder if you might be better served to take your time and work through it. Learn and reflect frequently.

    I wish you well. You've had success with part of the journey. It is obvious the discipline is there. Now let's work on getting you through the rest.

    Welcome!!!
  • lozzieemay
    lozzieemay Posts: 89
    Take a read of this thread
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/750920-spreadsheet-for-bmr-tdee-deficit-macro-calcs-hrm-zones
    and have a play with the spreadsheet.

    Alternatively, check out the Eat More To Weigh Less group
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/forums/show/3834-eat-more-to-weigh-less
    and take time to read the stickies posted at the top.

    Even if it takes you a few more days to read it all and work out the number for you, it doesn't matter. A few more days won't hurt.

    I'm in the 'don't drop more that 20%' camp. I also believe in setting your daily caloric goal and sticking to that number for a few weeks to give your body time to adjust to it. 6 weeks at CUT followed by 1 week at TDEE. This stops your body accepting your CUT number as your TDEE number. That's what I understand anyway :)

    Hello, I've read the thread & just took a look at the spreadsheet but its way too complicated for me. I have no knowledge of spreadsheets or excel and can't figure it out at all! But thank you :)
  • bemott
    bemott Posts: 180
    I suggest this book: Intuitive Eating. Has helped me a lot.
  • CottonCandyKisses
    CottonCandyKisses Posts: 246 Member
    are thoes pics old??? i think u look incrediable!!!

    I agree...How much do you weigh now? I'm confused.
  • simplydelish2
    simplydelish2 Posts: 726 Member
    Diets don't work! One reason people regain weight is that they lose it fast. My best advice - follow the MFP recommendation of calorie intake. If you exercise excessively (burn more than 1000 calories per day) eat back at least 1/2 of your calories.

    Decide this is a healthy lifestyle - eat healthy, move, and the weight will come off. Take it off a bit slower and you'll keep it off much easier and longer. It's your life, your mindset, and you are worth it.

    Good luck!
  • angelina2585
    angelina2585 Posts: 273 Member
    Ok try this calculator. Just be honest with your activity level, don't go and pick 'desk job with little exercise'. Pick, at least, the next activity level but do work out how many hours you do and use that number. Also make 20% the biggest number you choose in Step 6.

    Then scroll down and the number in 'Daily calories based on goal in step 6' is the total you eat every day without adding on exercise calories as these are already factored into your TDEE.

    Hope that helps :)

    Edit to say, if you want the numbers double checking just post your info here or private message me. Remember to include your age, weight, height, hours of exercise per week. You CAN do this and you CAN do it slowly and healthily :flowerforyou:
  • lozzieemay
    lozzieemay Posts: 89
    are thoes pics old??? i think u look incrediable!!!

    I agree...How much do you weigh now? I'm confused.

    I weigh 15.6 stone now, that photo was taken at 10 stone last year.
  • amflautist
    amflautist Posts: 895 Member
    I really don't think the week day calorie restriction is a good idea.

    I am a little older than you are, and I am 5'2" tall and I started out earlier this year at a little over 16st. My weight loss has been slower, and I am OK with that. It gives my skin a chance to tighten up so I won't have all kinds of skin flaps left over.

    If you insist on calorie cycling, why not do a higher calorie day every 2-3 days instead of waiting 5 days?

    I think the week day calorie restriction is a GREAT IDEA!

    I'm more than a little older than you. I'm almost older than everybody. I maintained a great figure for 50 years with week day calorie restriction.

    My advice is to do what works for YOU. Work with your own body, your own physical and social needs, your own habits. Furthermore, there is very good evidence that calorie cycling (eating a lot less on some days) is very good for the body and the metabolism and for general health!!! In fact, there is a UK Horizon TV program exactly about this fact. Calorie cycling leads to better heart health, better results in all the lab work numbers generally tested by doctors.

    Go for it!
  • deb3690
    deb3690 Posts: 59 Member
    My idea is to find a gym you feel comfortable in...and make time for it! I think being in a plcae that is comfortable you will be tempted to spend a good amount of time there....forget the criticisms! It's not their body after all :)

    I've been rejected so many times...once this jerk says "well you're not a super model..that;s all I date" Did I say that I was a model????Heck no!!! Would never date a self-obsessed jerk like him anyway!!!

    Do it just for you! BTW whats your favorite exercise? Deb:heart:
  • lozzieemay
    lozzieemay Posts: 89
    Ok try this calculator. Just be honest with your activity level, don't go and pick 'desk job with little exercise'. Pick, at least, the next activity level but do work out how many hours you do and use that number. Also make 20% the biggest number you choose in Step 6.

    Then scroll down and the number in 'Daily calories based on goal in step 6' is the total you eat every day without adding on exercise calories as these are already factored into your TDEE.

    Hope that helps :)

    Edit to say, if you want the numbers double checking just post your info here or private message me. Remember to include your age, weight, height, hours of exercise per week. You CAN do this and you CAN do it slowly and healthily :flowerforyou:

    I want to at least lose 2lbs per week, I've got 6 stone to lose & I'm such an impatient person and that won't change, and mentally to keep going I need to see 2lbs a week a least to keep me on track!

    In all honesty, I don't care what the scales say as much as what my body says - inches lost & dropping clothes sizes means a million times more to me, but surely that doesn't come without losing actual weight does it?
  • amflautist
    amflautist Posts: 895 Member
    To anyone who thinks that eating the same number of calories every day is a winning strategy: Check out the BBC TV program "Eat, Fast, Live Longer". http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-19112549

    Lozzieemay is going to have the last laugh. She is going to live longer -- with a healthier body -- if she goes back to her weekday calorie restriction regime.

    Dang. I'm going to try to do that myself. I would really like to have a bit of extra health and a few extra years! Thank you Lozzieemay!!
  • calamity71
    calamity71 Posts: 207 Member
    Out of curiosity....you said that you gained quickly. Have you discussed this with your doctor and had any test done to see if there is an underlying cause. And...have you started any medication? I was on a med and I put weight on slowly....a few pounds a month. I never associated it with the medicine. I have always struggled with weight and so the slow gaining and not being able to lose with weight watchers just seemed like part of my life.Three years later, I looked back and realized I could contribute alot of it to a med. I stopped the medicine....but it has taken hard work and dedication to turn things around.
  • kcoftx
    kcoftx Posts: 765 Member
    As for losing inches vs scale, many will attest to losing one but not the other at various stages. You can lose inches and not see it show up on the scale for awhile. Look up body recomposition.

    Recently I weighed 2lbs lighter than what I did 2 years ago BUT I wore almost 2 full sizes smaller! Before anyone says clothing sizes have changed, this was only 2 years ago and the starting size was in my closet. (The 2nd size zipped and buttoned and might now fit more comfortably.) The scale is a trend tool but not an absolute measurement tool.
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
    You are setting yourself up to become the perfect binger. 5 days of over restriction followed by two days of overeating? Hmm, I wonder why that didn't work.
  • Beyond_Value
    Beyond_Value Posts: 46 Member
    My healthy suggestion is eat well.

    There is a diet called the "Rotation Diet" where you eat a certain amount of calories per day from 600 - 1200.

    Truly diets are not the way to go it sound like your eating 900 per week and binge on the weekend was fine.

    Some times on Friday's and Saturday I eat stupid - chocolate, ice cream, and chip ahoy cookies.

    We all get tired and want to give up especially this eating it is nerve wrecking but get your second breath and "just do it".

    Do a little at a time don't stress out with a week do a day an hour whichever way that will give you the less stress with eating.
  • CharlesLadd
    CharlesLadd Posts: 39
    Moderation is the trick, and patience. You put that weight on in twelve months, it will take at least that much time to take it off. So the first thing to consider, I think, is that you will be eating differently (more healthfully) and getting more exercise for at least a year to lose the weight, then for the rest of your life to maintain that more healthy level. If you think of it as a diet, you are not likely to think of weight control as a life style change. What worked in the past, frankly, hasn't worked. The future, starting today, must be different if you are to succeed. That may sound preachy, but long-term life style change is what it is all about. MyFitnessPal is very useful in that regard, by helping you keep track of what you are doing. Be honest with yourself and with MFP and you will be successful -- eventually.

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