To shed one's skin....

jonasrunslikeananimal
jonasrunslikeananimal Posts: 2
edited September 20 in Introduce Yourself
"We may think there is willpower involved, but more likely..change is due to to want power. Wanting the new addiction more than the old one. Wanting the new me in preference to the person I am now"

George Sheehan

I did it once and by George, I will do it again.

Confession..."They" say it is good for the soul, I never have been a religous man so I wouldnt know, but what the hell, I guess I will take "their" word for it.

Two years ago I had a painful moment of realization one morning as I looked in the mirror while getting ready for work. I looked in the mirror and did not know the person staring back. I had a mental image of myself in my mind of the man I thought I was and the stranger in the mirror staring back at me was shocking to say the least.I was 27 years old, two kids, a beautiful wife, and actively killing myself on a daily basis. That morning I felt a pain that i had never felt before, I felt the pain of being completely honest with myself and realizing what I really was. The next 9 months was brutal. I joined the gym, sought advice from everyone I could, I joined weight watchers, and I fought for my life. I lost 120 in 9 months.

I learned that I have 2 people in me. I have David Beckham and Pee Wee Herman living inside my soul. Beckham is a go-getter, that works through effin anything. He is strong, confident, kind, caring, and what a man should be. I also have Pee Wee, he is weak of spirit and mind, and he lets outside influences dicatate his life. He is selfish and doesnt care for others. I hate Pee Wee. Now, only one of these people can dominate at a time. I cannot be a bit of Beckham and part Pee Wee. They are not compatible.

For a year my Beckham thrived. I saw changes in every aspect of my daily life, I found new love in my wife, I learned that I could do anything that I put my mind to. I found that I love to run, and through running I found an inner peace that I have been looking for all my life. I gained new triumphs, I excelled at work, and I found new friends. I had developed self respect. I finally was the man that I always wanted to be. Then I got complacent and Pee Wee came back. I started the same ole' justifications. I got lazy and stopped running. I stopped going to the gym and I stopped eating right. Since September of 09 I have lost my inner Beckham. I have gained 50 lbs and I have lost my confidence. I am a walking hypocrite and I am done with it. I want my Beckham back. I want my swagger and I am ready to once again fight for my life.

Replies

  • squoozyq
    squoozyq Posts: 305
    Good for you, maybe this time it will stick...all things happen for a reason, last time was not your time.
    Enjoy yourself, find that inner peace from running....my favourite is when you run, and after a length of time, you hit the point where you could run forever....you sigh deep and smile and push on..I love it!
    Yay for you!
  • SquidInTraining
    SquidInTraining Posts: 196
    Don't hate Pee Wee...:frown: he's hilarious! (I know, I'm a woman-child)

    I know what you mean, though -- I'm living one of those revelations that I'm not who I want to be right now. I've gotten the ball rolling on a whole lot of change, but its not rolling very fast at the moment, and I'm just trying to hang on and keep motivated.

    Good luck to you!:drinker:
  • mirgss
    mirgss Posts: 275 Member
    You can do it! The first and most important step is that you have the desire to get your "Beckham" back. Next, start small. Take walks or go biking with your family, play in the yard or the park, just get off the couch somehow. The more you do it, the more you will want to do it. It can be so hard to get that motivation back, but it can be done. I've seen a lot of people on here set little goals for themselves, and they get rewards for meeting those goals. Whether it be lose 5 lbs, or exercise 4 days a week, whatever works for you to get you moving again.

    Congratulations on your weight loss...it's definitely not an easy journey.

    We're here for you! :)
  • Alita2011
    Alita2011 Posts: 265 Member
    I really like your post,......I guess we all have two people living inside of us.
    You sound you are rededicating yourself. Congrats...
  • stuart6
    stuart6 Posts: 2 Member
    I am so glad that you have posted this. I believe that we all have these two sides. Most of the time I feel like the weaker of me prevails. I am working on helping to make the strong succeed. Thanks for your post. Honesty is a real life boost.:smile:
  • miqisha
    miqisha Posts: 1,534 Member
    Oh my, I love your post and I feel you have the inner strength to do it once again. You lost 120lbs last time so by George you can easily loose 50 lbs

    You can do this and get your Beckman back

    Goodluck
  • ACCTGQUEEN
    ACCTGQUEEN Posts: 30 Member
    Great post! I think most of us struggle with this on a daily basis.
  • amelia_atlantic
    amelia_atlantic Posts: 926 Member
    I found this really inspiring, actually! We as humans never want to accept fault or failure. It takes a lot of courage to admit when we've messed up.

    The good news: You're in touch with your mind and body! It's always a struggle to chose between what's easy and what's right.

    Focus on how well "Being Beckham" felt, especially after a run.

    You can do it this again! Good luck!
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