My teenage son.

I need some advice. My teenage son is 17yrs old and will be 18yrs in July 10. He has meet his best friend at work and he has a different sexual prefrence. My son says that he is straight. He just likes to hang out with this guy. That they have a special bond and his friend is 25yrs old and has his on place, but no car. As a mother this is very hard to make this decision because my son gets so upset with me. What should I do?

First, your son having a friend of a different sexual preference shouldn't be a problem. Such is life.

Second, your son is, I'm quite sure, a smart, conscientious person, being raised by you, and will have good tools with which to make good decisions.


The only thing that would concern me here, is the age difference. Why can't Mr. 25 year old have friends closer to his own age?


The sexual preference thing shouldn't be an issue. Even if your son turns out to be gay, he's still your son, and you're still his mom.

I agree the age thing seems a little strange but maybe your son is mature for his age. I wouldn't worry about the sexual preffernce thing either, Your son is either gay or straight, having a gay friend wont make him something hes not. If this guy is a good friend to him then thats all that should really matter.

I need some advice. My teenage son is 17yrs old and will be 18yrs in July 10. He has meet his best friend at work and he has a different sexual prefrence. My son says that he is straight. He just likes to hang out with this guy. That they have a special bond and his friend is 25yrs old and has his on place, but no car. As a mother this is very hard to make this decision because my son gets so upset with me. What should I do?

First, your son having a friend of a different sexual preference shouldn't be a problem. Such is life.

Second, your son is, I'm quite sure, a smart, conscientious person, being raised by you, and will have good tools with which to make good decisions.


The only thing that would concern me here, is the age difference. Why can't Mr. 25 year old have friends closer to his own age?


The sexual preference thing shouldn't be an issue. Even if your son turns out to be gay, he's still your son, and you're still his mom.

i agree completely. 100%

I see a few questions in here --
a 17 year old hanging out with a 25 year old - there could be some issues there, but if they are both working, healthy and contributing to society then I would have no problem with my kids hanging with different age people (when they are as clsoe to adulthood as he is).
I also see that you may have a question regarding the friends sexual preference. If your son was hanging around a girl that was 25 (his friend or his girlfriend) would you be questioning it? A boy and a girl can get in just as much "mischief" as a boy and boy. Im pretty sure that if your answer to the first question is that this person is a "good" person then he isnt going to lead your son astray. If you son says he is straight this friend isnt going to change him...and if your son does have a different preference but either doesnt know it or doesnt want to tell you yet then there isnt anything you can do about it.
Without getting into any sort of what is right and what is wrong argument here (you know that old saying never talk about politics, religion or sex ) sexual preference is not usually a choice (I understand some people experiment) - if your son leans a different way he will do that no matter if this friend is in his life or not.
So I think that the real question has nothing to do with "different sexual preference" but instead how mature and trustworthy is your 17 (almost 18) year old son?
A 17-18 year old boy (or girl for that matter) has a friend that they enjoy hanging out with, with his own place - I know when I was 17 Id be out of myhouse and over there as much as possible! :laugh:
Advice - let your son make his own choices as long as he is safe. Have you met this friend? Have you been to his place? DO they ever hang at your house? Maybe you can explain to your son your concerns and that he is still a minor (but barely) and see if he is willing to give you peace of mind by opening up his friendship a little.
Remember your responsibility as a parent is to teach them to be good, caring, compasionate, honest contributing members of society. If this friend is making that not happen then step in - but otherwise....you have to let go and let him make his own choice no matter where they will take him.
All in my opinion -- Im no expert just my thougths.

YOUR SON IS OLDER NOW AND DOES NEED TO MAKE CHOICES OF HIS OWN. HOWEVER I ALSO THINK AS A PARENT THAT WHILE THE KIDS ARE AT HOME WE DO HAVE SOME SAY NO MATTER THE AGE. WHEN AND WHERE AND WITH WHOM AND HOW LONG THEY CAN BE GONE. REMEMBER WE ARE PARENTS AND THEY ARE NOT ALWAYS GONNA LIKE WHAT WE HAVE DECIDED.

IF YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH YOUR SON HANGING OUT WITH HIS FRIEND AT HIS PLACE INVITE HIM TO YOUR HOUSE. BUT YOU SHOULD TRUST THAT YOUR SON IS BEING HONEST WITH YOU UNLESS YOU HAVE BEEN GIVEN REASON NOT TO.

I agree with a lot that has been said here... however, I can understand how concerned you may feel seeing as he is YOUR CHILD and is still at a very influenceable age/time in his life.

I would also be pressed to believe that the age thing isnt really a huge factor because this 25 year old actually seems as if he may be on the level of an 18 year old. Maybe they do share some common interest, esp. since the work together.

As for the sexuality part, I actually have a really good friend that is gay(Cory) and his best friend(Andy) is straight. Andy loves the women and loves that the women fawn after Cory.... Cory being gay is like a plus for him lol.... He meets more girls this way!

I need some advice. My teenage son is 17yrs old and will be 18yrs in July 10. He has meet his best friend at work and he has a different sexual prefrence. My son says that he is straight. He just likes to hang out with this guy. That they have a special bond and his friend is 25yrs old and has his on place, but no car. As a mother this is very hard to make this decision because my son gets so upset with me. What should I do?

Try to remember when you were on the cusp of 18 yourself, did you tell your parents everything? Probably not. Did you know what your parents would absolutely flip out about if they did know? Probably. As a mother of 4 grown kids, 3 of them boys and the youngest of them being nearly 20, I KNOW all to well the concerns about what they are doing, who they are with, who might be influencing them in the wrong direction, etc. I also firmly believe that a person's sexual preference is born with that person, it's not something he or she chooses, rather it's something he or she finds out usually in the throes of sexual maturity. That being said, the attitude toward boy or girl in this "discovery stage" should be toward safe practices for life. We brought them into this world striving for their health and happiness - everything we've done since the day they were born is to keep them safe and healthy, that's still what you're hoping for even as your son approaches "adulthood"- so I would leave it at that. Your role as a parent is to remind your son of the safety issues (because you want him to be around and healthy for a LONG time), and that you love him, trust him, and wish him to be happy in HIS life.... And it wouldn't hurt to be open to meeting his friend on a very casual and friendly basis. Sometimes gay men turn out to be the best girlfriends a woman ever had...

Congratulations on having the kind of relationship with your son that you could even have this conversation with him. At almost 18, he needs an opportunity to make his own friendship decisions and if you continue to give him a safe place to talk about his friends then he will come to you if any issues arise.

My kids are all in their 20's now and they have all had both straight and gay friends and an age spread of 18-25 is not unusual. Their maturity level at that age is all over the map!

Right on sister !!!!! Well put ...... I agree 100% about the safe place. So many teens do not have that, you are very lucky to have a great relationship with your son. Way to go Mom!

I'm 50 now and the best friend I had in High School was gay and I'm not. It was weird, but works fine, were still friends. It's even more common now as, thankfully, younger people don't see a stigma in being gay. Don't worry about it. If your son is gay, it has nothing to do with spending time with this young man. If he's straight, this young man can't change that.