i destroyed my body

MUSTLOSENOW55
MUSTLOSENOW55 Posts: 181
in Motivation and Support
I can't stop crying today. I destroyed my body through binge eating and yo yo dieting. I used to weigh 115 lbs but still had a cute bubble butt. I spiked up to 140 through binge eating and would get down to 125ish but would end up binging again and going back up to 140. Well I haven't binged in so long and I've been working so hard to get my body back since June of this year. I have been going to the gym almost daily doing weights and cardio and have been tracking my calories. I'm the lowest i've been in 4-5 yrs (112 lbs) but my body looks like total crap. My butt is completely flat/deflated and I still have a lot of excess weight on my belly. I dont look like I used to weigh when I weighed this much (bubble butt, no love handles etc). In fact I would prefer my 140 pound body than what I look like now. It sucks to devote half a year to working hard and end up hating the results.

Replies

  • somemansdream
    somemansdream Posts: 88
    Hey,
    Sorry that you are so upset. I only wanted to ask if your objective and really seeing your body the way it is? Maybe take a picture and then look at it as if it is a stranger--see what are the good parts and bad?
    I do know that binge eating (all my adult life habit until the last few years) and yo-yo dieting does take a toll.
    If you have the money, maybe a fitness trainer to help you build up the parts you want to build up?
    I don't know really, just some thoughts. I hate to see anyone that has worked hard only to be so upset at the results.
    Good luck, Debbie
  • heatherloveslifting
    heatherloveslifting Posts: 1,428 Member
    This forum is full of many types of people. There are a lot of people who can be very helpful, but would probably need more info, like your age, height, how you lost the weight. I would definitely recommend weight lifting to make you love your body again though! Weight is not everything.
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,674 Member
    You know it is amazing how the body can transform by good eating and exercise.
    Really, try weight lifting...get yourself a trainer if possible to get started.
    Or else YouTube some videos and start with a few basics.
    Deadlifts are amazing on the gluts and hams!!!
    And weight-lifting gives you a youthful look.
    Don't be discouraged, the body can really go far in the direction of youthful and beautiful when you do nice things for it.
  • Bobby__Clerici
    Bobby__Clerici Posts: 741 Member
    Now that your weight loss journey is nearly complete, use the next opportunity as motivation to work on optimal fitness while maintaining weight.
    Be happy for yourself and your accomplishment while continuing the journey.
    All Is Possible!
  • KenosFeoh
    KenosFeoh Posts: 1,837 Member
    I agree about weight lifting and other resistance exercises like lunges and squats. You can build your body back up again. We humans are resilient creatures.
  • celticcateyes
    celticcateyes Posts: 71 Member
    I whole heartily agree with the previous advice about a healthy diet (plus plenty of hydration) and weight lifting. Weight loss is hard on the body too, so you have to give your body (and skin) time to bounce back.

    I was feeling very 'deflated' after losing my first 50lbs (some of it before MyFitnessPal) and while in a plateau (with weight lifting and boot camp) my body tightened up and I am learning to love my body like I never have before :)
  • WinnerVictorious
    WinnerVictorious Posts: 4,733 Member
    keep at it. don't give up. you didn't destroy your body... you just don't have it completely back yet. give it time. put in the work. be diligent. you'll get there.
  • Emtabo01
    Emtabo01 Posts: 672
    I agree with lifting, I've been doing NROL4W and my butt is looking pretty good these days, still have work to do on my belly, but all in time I suppose. If you do nothing, nothing will change.
  • mockchoc
    mockchoc Posts: 6,573 Member
    Don't give up, do heavy weights if you aren't already. I'm not happy with my body yet either so I'm about to lift though there is nothing I can do to inflate the boobs except put the weight back on or get a boob job and I don't really want to do that. I understand how you feel. I've yo-yoed too all my life but we can do this! By next Christmas we will be hot!
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    suck it up buttercup.
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,329 Member
    heavy squats, deadlifts and lunges for dat *kitten*
  • MemphisKitten
    MemphisKitten Posts: 878 Member
    I am in the same boat. I used to look HOT at the weight I am at now, but after 2 kids and yo-yo dieting since I was 13. . . it's just not the same. :cry:
  • Sarauk2sf
    Sarauk2sf Posts: 28,072 Member
    Lift weights.

    How old are you out of interest?
  • etoiles_argentees
    etoiles_argentees Posts: 2,827 Member
    You're 112 pounds, go lift something.
  • Heyyleigh
    Heyyleigh Posts: 268 Member
    My dear I have the same problem! I have DEFLATED myself and I dont even know when/how it happened, but it did. But think of it this way, we learned many things. How to eat, how to exercise, how to log and the support of many peeps here on MFP. Now we just have to tone up! I am not convinced that will work, but I can try. We didnt destroy it ( although I feel the same way sometimes) we ust have more work in front of us!

    Chin up!
  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
    How quickly did you lose the weight? Were your calories really low? If you did very low calorie and did tons of cardio you probably lost some of your muscle mass. Start lifting more and doing less cardio. Eat at maintenance or even slightly above.
  • chaubner008
    chaubner008 Posts: 32 Member
    Who the hell cares what you look like? At this point be thankful that you are not bingeing and restricting. You have earned back an incredible freedom that so many people in our country, in the world are unable to achieve once it's lost. You are a survivor. Sweets do not rule anymore in your world. However god has willed your body to look after that is only for you to love. You are a walking success story! Live proud and find the things about your tiny little body that you love! I haven't even seen you but hearing and relating to the hell you went through to find sanity in your physical health...I know you're hott!!!! ;) I may be way off base here but I am pretty sure that some of those body image concerns may have contributed to the binge eating you experienced in the past. And although you felt perhaps more supple at 140, you sound here like you felt more crazy and food driven then too. You so deserve to be happy! Relax and love that body. You have destroyed nothing!!! Nothing done for your betterment is ever lost! On the flip side, you've seen and shown others how incredibly strong and resilient you truly are!! Keep loving yourself
  • Built_Strong
    Built_Strong Posts: 114 Member
    When I started this journey I had an image in my mind of what I was going to look like. Yeah, didn't even come close! I look like a sack of melted goo! It's depressing because you work so hard to get the weight off and then the REAL results show - the damaged sagging skin. The only way to change that (for me) is a full body lift. No amount of exercise or weightlifting is going to get rid of the excess skin that I have. The bitter truth is...I only have myself to blame for this body. I did this to myself. So...guess it's up to me to either accept it & love it as is or shell out $14K for a full body lift.

    I really don't know where I'm going with this except to say...you're not alone.
  • DarthH8
    DarthH8 Posts: 298 Member
    Easy fix babe, lift and eat. Don't worry about the consequences. Or results as some people call them.
  • myogibbs
    myogibbs Posts: 182
    So, pretty much everyone on mfp is battling some kind of issue with weight, body image, health issues...or all of the above. There is an incredible support system here...and lots of people with more knowledge about diet & nutrition & exercise. I am so sad that you are having such trouble loving your body...it is a process...and personally, I commend you for all of your hard work & dedication. Please try to remember how far you have come! You have conquered a horrible demon & that is no small feat. Celebrate your victories!!! I have always been heavy...meaning I weigh a lot more than I think I should when I look in the mirror. It took so long for me to wrap my head around the concept that muscle is denser than fat, so you look smaller even if you weigh more. I will always weigh more than all my friends. My solution...stop weighing myself. I HAVE lost INCHES...and gone down several sizes in my clothes...and personally that is more important to me than a number on the scale. I started doing cardio PLUS weights and it has made all the difference. I agree that adding a weight regimen will help you. Please don't think of yourself as "ruined"...you are a beautiful work in progress...it wasn't "for nothing" ...it is a journey that you are on to teach you health and self-love. Best of luck to you & Keep up the GREAT work!!!
  • imfivebyfive
    imfivebyfive Posts: 104
    Try some yoga. it lengthens, strengthens, and tones. And you get to be barefoot.
  • taylorwaylor
    taylorwaylor Posts: 417 Member
    Don't give up! Do a weight program and start lifting heavy...i think you'll like whatcha see!!
  • RockstarPunch
    RockstarPunch Posts: 203 Member
    your body changes, start from scratch and see what your body responds to:flowerforyou: it'll will be ok
  • Trechechus
    Trechechus Posts: 2,819 Member
    Keep at it. It takes time for your body to catch up with the changes you've made. Keep lifting, build up your muscles again, and you will see the results you want.
  • dmpizza
    dmpizza Posts: 3,321 Member
    Just relax and keep working out.
  • cholderer
    cholderer Posts: 45 Member
    For butts I have found the leg machines really good and I've also started Insanity (today was Day 17) which has worked wonders with how toned I am. I feel like my butt looks so good because of Insanity. All of the jumps, squats, stretching and cardio work has done wonders not just for my butt, but my whole body.
  • eveadams721
    eveadams721 Posts: 28 Member
    I think it's time to work with a trainer and a dietician..looks like you did all the right things just not the right way perhaps? Boy I wish I could get down to that weight, I'm still at 163 lbs in 2 months and started at 170 but man does it come off slowly..Oh well..you inspired me
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    Pictures or it didn't happen.
  • RECowgill
    RECowgill Posts: 881 Member
    I don't think you have very good perspective. Some people here are hundreds of pounds overweight, you don't have much work to do by comparison. Compared to those who have real weight issues, your job is relatively easy.

    My own thing is I used to be 190. I let myself go over the years and ballooned up to 270. I'm currently near 250 and making good progress. But I don't worry about my exact weight and to be honest you shouldn't either. If you lift and pack on some muscle, you'll weigh 135 but wear clothes and look like you're 115. And that's really the place you want to be, no more yo-yo diets. Just lift, eat well and pack on some muscle. You'll burn fat more efficiently and be healthy.

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