Hernias and Losing Belly Fat

I have an umbilical hernia. It is really small though. They did the MRI and everything but refused to operate on it.

The maddening thing is, I can no longer wear jeans without being extremely uncomfortable. It's stretchy pants or skirts only for me now.

The other problem is, whenever I try to do any exercise that might flatten my tummy - it hurts. I was wondering if anybody else has or has had an umbilical hernia, and what you do to tighten up those abs when crunches, etc hurts like a motha.